


Written in the Stars

by Mia_Vaan



Category: Star Trek (Comics), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Adorkable Spock, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Because Destiny Said So, Canon Retelling, Comics, Epic Love, F/M, Fem! Kirk, Female James T. Kirk, Friends to Lovers, Genderswap, Jane Kirk is a BAMF, Jane Kirk is a snarky badass, Jane is trying really hard not to fall in love with Spock, Love Transcends Space Time, Pon Farr, Prime Kirk is a shipper, Prime Kirk's katra, Protective Kirk, Protective Spock, Romance, T'hy'la if you squint, The Power Of Love, always-a-girl-Kirk, but she just can't help it, canon character death, everyone can see it, fate drives them together, you probably shouldn't take this story too seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-06 09:59:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 94,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15883764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mia_Vaan/pseuds/Mia_Vaan
Summary: Just because things happened in one time-line, doesn't mean they have to happen in this one. At least, that's Jane Kirk's determined opinion upon being told she and Spock were married in that other reality. The universe, however, has other ideas - and the spirit of her dead counterpart stuck inside her head isn't helping matters.This story was originally published over at FanFic.Net on: October 26th 2013.





	1. Caged

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The rights for Star Trek belong to Paramount Pictures. 
> 
> Re-posting this story, as well. For anyone who's read this story before, I’ve fixed mistakes and made a number of other changes, which hasn’t changed the story a lot, but there’s a few details that are different. And for those of you who have read the comics and are wondering, I actually started writing this story before the Gender-swap comic was published, and it made me smile when I read it. 
> 
> This story also has its own page on TV Tropes, found here: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/WrittenInTheStars

_“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.”_ – Unknown

\---

There are times when realization slowly sinks in. Other times it walks up to you and punches you in the face.

At least that was how Jane Tiberia Kirk felt. She just stared at the elderly Vulcan – who was Spock but also not Spock – as she swallowed what she’d been told. She was fully aware that her mouth was hanging open, but she couldn’t find any motivation to close it.

“So, you’re telling me that you-” She gestured to him, “and the other me-” She gestured to herself, “got married? As in, _married_ married?”

“I was not aware there was another form of marriage.”

He was either actually confused, or he was being sarcastic. While the idea of a sarcastic Spock amused her, it wasn’t important at that moment. What Jane really wanted to know was how the flying hell that had happened.

And what was more… “And then the two of you had a _kid_ together?”

The elderly Vulcan nodded, and Jane could see the emotion in his eyes – the emotion she had seen before, in the ice cave, when he had first laid eyes upon her. She still couldn't quite wrap her head around the idea of a Vulcan showing emotion, but it was there; it was a mixture of sadness and fondness. _For his kid? Maybe_.

“Amanda Georgiana Kirk was our pride and joy,” he said. “She went on to become Captain of the _Enterprise_ after you – or rather, after the other you. When I departed, she was an Admiral with a daughter of her own, who had become Captain. Amazing girl; Roberta Jane Kirk-Scott is her name.”

“Our daughter married _Scotty?!_ ”

The elder Spock raised his eyebrow at her, and only then did Jane realize how ridiculous that sounded. “She married his son, Hamish. Brilliant engineer, like his father.”

Jane placed a palm to her head and sat down at the table they had been standing near. She was thankful that this area of the Academy was empty; when she had sought out the elder Vulcan, she hadn’t expected news like this. “This is a lot to take in. I’m just finding it hard to believe how…how we could _marry_. I mean, you and the other me. Spock and I hated each other. Didn’t you two?”

“Circumstances were different in my reality.” The elder Spock sat himself down as well. “I have made a vow to myself not to inform you of any information from my time, for it may alter your new destinies. I made an exception with what I have just told you, as I feel you two need each other. And my vow refers to future events; there is nothing wrong with telling you about the past.”

“OK.” She shrugged. “So what were we like, you and the other me?”

“I mentioned before that you knew your father,” said the elder Spock. “He became Captain of the _Kelvin_ not long after your birth, and your mother became his First Officer. You and your brother grew up on the ship, though your brother left when he was fifteen to attend a private school he wanted to go to, and you remained for a further three years.”

“So did I leave for school?” Jane asked.

But Spock shook his head. “No. On a mission to Tycho IV, you encountered a creature which killed your parents and some of the crew, damaging the ship in the process. The next in command gave into his fear, and you were forced to take command of the ship and order an evacuation. In doing so you saved the remaining crew and earned the respect of many officers throughout the fleet.”

“I did what Dad in _this_ universe,” Jane realized. _Like father, like daughter_ , her mother had once told her. Jane hadn't been sure at the time, but now she saw that her mother was right. “So what happened to me – the other me?”

“You attended Starfleet Academy,” said Spock. “You started in the junior classes, and then gradually worked your way up until you were assigned to the _Enterprise_ on its maiden voyage. You were at first a Lieutenant, but after a disastrous first mission you were made Captain Pike’s First Officer when his was killed. You handled the situation exceptionally well.”

“Go me.” When Spock once again raised his eyebrow – she hadn’t quite decided if it was more annoying than when the younger Spock did it – she corrected herself. “I mean…it’s terrible for his First Officer. Who was his...?”

“A woman. We always referred to her as Number One – a nickname of sorts – but her real name was Eureka Lefler. Considering my younger self was Captain Pike’s First Officer in this universe, I am now curious as to what happened to her.”

“I’ll look it up.” She took out her PADD and typed in the name.

She was saddened by her findings. Eureka Lefler had died aged seven alongside her mother, Prima Lefler, when they’d both been confronted in their home by armed burglars. She wondered why this hadn’t happened in the elder Spock’s universe until she saw what had happened to the girl’s father, Mace Lefler; killed while serving aboard the _Kelvin_.

She told the elder Spock, who only nodded. “She informed me of the incident in my time-line. Her father had saved her and her mother. With him gone…” He trailed off. “But there is no use in dwelling on what could have been. When Captain Pike was promoted to Admiral, you became Captain and selected me as your First Officer. We had formed a friendship by that time, and things developed.”

Jane bit her lip. “I really don’t want to sound rude here, but…how? I’ve had many interactions with the Spock I know; he’s like a computer. Until…recently, he’d never shown even an ounce of emotion. I can see now that it’s there, but everyone loves their mother. Falling in love? I just can’t see it.”

“Had I been younger, I would have taken your comparison of me to a computer as a compliment,” said the elder Spock. “And I will admit that it took time and difficulty for me to show emotion towards the other you – but she knew I loved her. You and my younger self can have that too.”

“And I’m gonna stop you right there.” Jane held up a finger. “I understand that you two were a match made in the stars or…whatever, but this is a whole new reality. I need to make my own choices. And besides, this Spock and I got off to a bad start. I doubt we can overcome that, even if we are friends now. Well, sort off. I think he’s still a little pissed at the whole _Kobayashi Maru_ test.”

“You cheated?”

She didn’t even bother with her surprise. “I pulled a stunt I nicknamed the _Corbomite Maneuver_?”

The elder Spock almost _smiled_. “The more things change, the more things stay the same. How else do you explain everyone gathering on the _Enterprise_?”

“Don’t pull that on me.” She still found it freaky how that had happened; how the elder Spock had listed the entire crew save for a few, because he had known them from his younger years serving in the alternate reality. What freaked her out more was that he knew their ranks and purposes, too. “It’s still a whole new world; things can change. That’s what you were going on about, weren’t you? About not altering our destinies further?”

“I said you two needed each other.”

“Well, we can need each other as friends, or as Captain and First Officer,” Jane insisted. “Because I’d like to be in charge of what I do – and I’d like to fall in love with someone I choose for myself, instead of someone I married in some other alternate reality.”

She wondered whether the elder Spock would make any further arguments on the matter. It wouldn’t surprise her; while he was Vulcan, she had learnt through her time with her own that Spock was incredibly stubborn, which he had proven to an insane level after the destruction of Vulcan. She reasoned that if the younger Spock was like this, so was the elder.

And it did, at first, look like he was going to keep persisting. But then he appeared to think better of it and nodded. “My Jane was always stubborn. I understand that you want to follow your own destiny. But if you do find yourself drifting towards him, then do not force yourself away; let it flow. Because it would be a deep shame for you to miss out on something so beautiful.”

“Beautiful?” Jane sent him a questioning look. “Is that really how you would describe the relationship you two shared?”

“I did not describe it as such.” This time, he really _did_ smile. “ _You_ did.”

\---

 _I'll just have to be on the look-out in case the feelings suddenly pop out of nowhere_. Jane was sat on the bridge, and had just finished signing yet another PADD which had been handed to her by Yeoman Landon.

Jane tried to be as casual as she could in turning her seat around to look at Spock, who was sat at the science station with his back turned. He was obviously busy.

The woman could admit that he was good-looking, in an exotic kind of way. His pointy ears were especially attractive. But flat-out falling in love with him? Jane shook her head and turned forwards again. She just couldn’t imagine herself falling for a guy who could barely smile and always spoke techno-babble. He was logical and she was…well, not. And they’d already established where they both stood when it came to following the rules.

And she had, admitted, lied to the elder Spock back at the Academy. When she and Spock had first met, things had actually gone OK.

He and Captain Pike had been on a recruiting trip across the world. They had stopped off in Japan, Russia, Kenya and many other places; Iowa had been their last stop.

Jane had often visited the shipyard because of her inherited curiosity in exploring the stars. She’d had arguments with her mother many times growing up; about how Winona Kirk wouldn’t allow Jane to sign up early because she feared she would be killed, like her father, and Jane had argued back how it didn’t stop her mother from continuing to work in Starfleet.

But Jane knew the reason why her mother did – she felt closer to the departed George Kirk in Space, and Jane could understand that.

The reason Jane didn’t immediately sign up come her eighteenth was because of the hard times their family had fallen upon, although things had been hard from the beginning; she and her brother had been dumped with their Uncle Frank at a young age while Winona continued to work in Starfleet. Then Sam left when Jane was twelve, and after the incident with George Kirk’s antique car on the same day, Winona realized just how poorly Frank had been treating the kids. They left the next day.

The move to Tarsus IV had been costly, but Winona had felt it was worth it, for she’d heard good things about the planet. Jane herself had enjoyed it even when her mother was away; she became fast friends with two boys named Kevin Riley and Thomas Leighton.

But then the famine came, and then the massacre. Jane, Kevin and Thomas had been among those four thousand sentenced to death by Governor Kodos, and barely escaped with their lives. Three other boys and three other girls, all in their class at school, had been able to escape with them, and for the few days that followed they hid in the woods outside the colony.

Then help arrived. Kodos was presumed dead, and after being reunited with her worried mother, Jane had been whisked back to Iowa where the two then lived in poverty.

At twenty-two years of age, Jane Kirk had been wanting a better job than a waitress at the local bar, but was unwilling to sign up for Starfleet and leave her mother behind. Still, it hadn’t stopped her from wandering over to a group of new cadets who were being talked to by Spock.

Closing her eyes, Jane recalled the memory of that day; it was still clear in her mind. Spock had been speaking about the values of Space exploration when a young man had spoken up.

“So will we be eventually at war with the Romulans after what they did?” he asked. “Or is your kind stopping us because you still see them as your brothers?”

Jane had sent him a glare. She’d recognized the guy as Andrew Stiles, who had attended high school with her. He’d often told stories about his grandfathers and great-grandfathers; how they had all served and died in the war against the Romulans. This hatred extended towards the Vulcans not just because of their uncanny resemblance, but because the Vulcans had failed to inform its allies of what the Romulans were.

Stiles made a few more racist comments, and Jane noticed that while the Vulcan appeared to be taking them, he appeared to be hurt; as if he’d taken these comments his whole life.

So, she’d stepped in. “I'm sorry, this is where you enlist for Starfleet. I believe enlistments for Terra Prime are next door.”

When Stiles recognized her, he’d scowled. “What are you doing here, Jane? Thought you were off being a slut?”

“One: I’m a waitress. Two: I’m not allowed a break?” she said. “And speaking of breaks, how about giving one to the Commander? He’s been pretty damn helpful in explaining things to the new recruits – which includes _you_ – and he doesn’t need your bigoted views thrown at his face. Starfleet is no place for people like you. Yes, your family died in the wars, but he, nor the Vulcans, were responsible for that, or for what happened to the _Kelvin_.”

“I don't care if your daddy gave up his life to save the entire crew. If they had warned us about those Romulans-”

That’s when Jane had punched him in the face, breaking his nose and knocking him out cold. That was what he got for talking about her father, and Jane knew Stiles should have seen it coming.

And then Captain Pike arrived, and Jane had been surprised by the cadets jumping to her defence – saying that Stiles had swung first and had been making racist comments – and even the Vulcan said nothing, which Jane accepted as gratitude. Then one of the cadets had mentioned who she was, and Pike had taken her aside.

He convinced her to sign up. She went home and her mother encouraged her to go, too. So the next morning she climbed onto a shuttle, ready to start anew. Jane had been reunited with the cadets from the day before – who turned out to be Nyota Uhura, Pavel Chekov and Hikaru Sulu – and also became well acquainted with a last minute sign-up, Leonard McCoy.

“The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I've got left is my _bones_.”

Jane turned in her seat, her eyes scanning the bridge as she picked out the familiar faces of the crew she was serving with. Upon her arrival at the Academy she’d made more friends. Christine Chapel had been the first, whom McCoy had met in one of his medical classes. In Advanced Self-Defence class Jane had met the security duo Roger Lemli and Ryan Leslie, neither being in one place without the other. They had been followed closely by John Kyle, a goofy and always-smiling engineer. Chekov had introduced Martha Landon to them all, and Jane had met Charlene Masters at the Academy Christmas Party. Jane had later been pleasantly surprised when she bumped into Kevin Riley, having not seen him since the disaster on Tarsus IV.

Despite what had happened at the shipyard in Iowa, Jane rarely spoke to Spock during her three years at the Academy. He only taught three of her classes; Interspecies Protocol during the first year, Interspecies Ethics during the second, and then Advanced Tactics in the third. She’d only spoken to him whenever she asked a question, or he called upon her for an answer to a question.

Any other time she had seen him had either been at random around the campus, or on the occasion when her room-mate Nyota had been helping him, after she had taken the position as his class aide for Advanced Phonology during the second year.

She supposed, when she thought about it, that her first real interaction with him had been at the hearing after her third take of the _Kobayashi Maru_ exam. And that hadn’t ended well for either of them.

Jane felt a tap on her shoulder, and only then did she realize her eyes had been slowly shutting. _Why do I feel so tired? This isn’t usually like me_. She looked up to find Spock sending her a raised eyebrow. She tried to ignore it. “Yes, Mr. Spock?”

“I am relieved of duty, and unless I am mistaken, so are you.”

Jane looked around the bridge and realized that he was right; several of the replacements had arrived and were relieving other crew members of their shifts. In front of her she noticed Chekov and Sulu leaving their seats, making way for their replacements. Riley was Chekov’s, and he sent Jane a smile before getting on with his job.

The young woman ran a hand across her face. _How long have I been daydreaming?_ “God, things need to liven up around here.”

“I would recommend rest, Captain,” said Spock. “In order for you to not fall asleep in your chair in the future and miss the excitement when it comes.”

Jane looked up at him again, and saw a hint of amusement in his eyes. The fact that Spock had a sense of humour still puzzled her, but she didn’t want to complain; if he didn't have humour, he would be no fun at all.

“Alright. Early night for me.”

“Captain, we are in Space. There is no night.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Figure of speech, Spock; it’s what Humans say when they’re tired. But if you’re still puzzled, I’m sure Lt. Uhura will give you a riveting English lesson about it.”

She left her chair and followed him as they both left the bridge. They only parted ways when he walked into the recreation room – most likely looking for an opponent for 3D Chess – and for a few minutes afterwards Jane just stood there staring at the door which he’d disappeared through.

Her thoughts drifted back to what the elder Spock had said, and her tired mind conjured up the image of the younger Spock’s face. She tried to imagine what it would be like to kiss him…

She shook her head. She’d have an easier time imagining what it would be like to kiss a Tellarite.

\---

Jane always knew when she fell asleep. It left her in a state of lucid dreaming; while most people had to deal with weird crap in their dreams, she could dream up whatever she wanted. Which she had to admit, mostly consisted of weird crap.

So, it was a surprise for her that when she fell asleep, she found that she couldn’t control anything. She was standing on the bridge of the _Enterprise_ – but it wasn’t _her_ ship. It was older somehow; more chunky and awkward, if that was even the right word for it.

What was more was that someone – a familiar someone – was sat in the Captain’s chair.

Her, but not her.

The woman wore a yellow dress, only this dress had long sleeves unlike Jane’s short-sleeved uniform. The dress was also plain instead of that hint of glistening she liked.

Her hair was cut short in a bob, unlike the single side-plait Jane had, but it was the same colour as hers; a dark blonde. The woman’s eyes were brown, a contrast to Jane’s unnatural blue ones. Jane knew she was looking at an older version of herself, and because of the encounter with the elderly Spock, she jumped to the immediately conclusion that this was the Jane Kirk of the original universe. The one whom the elder Spock had known – the one he had been married to.

Only when Jane took a step towards her did the woman look up, and her eyes widened with recognition. Obviously she knew that she was seeing a younger version of herself.

“Have I gone back in time?” she asked. She looked around the empty bridge. “It certainly looks like I have.”

Jane shook her head. “No. I’m dreaming. You’re in my dream.” She tried once again to change the dream, but nothing happened. Which to her, meant that somehow, this was really happening.

“Dream?” The elder Jane looked around and then down at what she was wearing. “It would certainly explain why I’m dressed in my old uniform.” She then looked up at Jane again. “So, I’ve somehow travelled through time in the realm of dreams and am now visiting my younger self. Though that doesn’t explain the blue eyes…”

“Err…” Jane wasn’t quite sure how to explain it. “More than that. At least, I think?” There was one way to find out. “Where did you grow up?”

The elder Jane blinked in surprise, obviously surprised by the question, but replied all the same. “I was raised by my parents on the _USS Kelvin_. But you should have known that.”

“I _do_ know.” Jane sighed. “And technically speaking, you are in the past. But not in the way you would expect. It’s…more complicated than that.”

Instead of looking confused, however, the elder Jane looked amused and leaned back into the chair. “Isn’t it always?” 


	2. Beauty in Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane has a chat with her elder counterpart, with a spot of trouble just around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The memory in this chapter refers to the Original Series episode 'Is There In Truth No Beauty?' The rest of the chapter is about the first Star Trek: Ongoing comic issue, which is a retelling of the episode 'Where No Man Has Gone Before'.

“So, in short, I'm now in this alternate reality which was created?”

“Well, sort of.” Jane shrugged. She had explained everything to the elder Kirk; the future Romulans and their attack on the _Kelvin_ , how it had altered the lives of pretty much everyone, and how the elder Spock had been involved. Jane had seen her elder self brighten up at the mention of Spock, and at the end of the story she appeared saddened.

But also puzzled. “What’s with the blue eyes?”

“McCoy thinks it’s something to do with the weird radiation from the black hole, and because I was born so close to it,” said Jane. “The other Spock seems to think so, too.”

The sadness returned. “My Spock must feel so alone,” she said.

“I said I would contact him whenever I could,” said Jane. “Spock – younger Spock – said the same. Elder Spock didn’t want to intrude for the most part; he said our lives must play out without him. He also vowed not to tell us anything that could alter our destinies, the bastard.”

“Oh, that’s just him being him,” said the elder Jane, smiling to herself. “He’s always been like that.”

The way the elder woman smiled gave Jane the push to bring up what the elder Spock _had_ told her. “But he did decide to drop a bomb on me. Are you two married? And did you have a kid?”

She nodded without a second thought. “It took time, but we got there. He was stubborn in his Vulcan ways. Our little Amanda helped us. Your Spock, from the sounds of things, seems to have learnt earlier on that emotions aren’t a bad thing – to an extent, anyway. Maybe you’ll get married sooner.”

At that Jane looked sceptical. “Did you not understand the story? That’ll never happen.”

“Why not?” The elder Jane looked genuinely surprised; as if the thought of the two of them not being together never crossed her mind. “You said that you hated each other, but you put your differences aside and made a great team.”

“Hate to love is more complicated than friendship to love,” said Jane. “Besides, I don’t want to fall in love with someone because it happened in some other universe; it almost feels like it’s being expected of me, and that I have no choice in the matter. If you know what I mean?”

“I do.” She nodded. “But I also know it’ll happen eventually. What we had was just… It was so strong. Even in this new reality, I don’t think it’ll be ignored.”

“How strong?” Jane asked. “I’ve heard stories about the power of love, but I never really gave the idea much thought. I always thought love was love, and it can’t be at a different level for different couples.”

The elder Jane thought for a moment. “Well, there was this one time… What the hell?” She looked around her, as did Jane, and saw what was happening.

People were appearing around them; members of the crew, some who Jane recognized, only wearing that plainer uniform and with different hairstyles. And then she saw herself, a little older than she was currently – but what caught her attention was the very round belly she had.

“When I was pregnant with Amanda,” the elder Jane realized. “It’s a memory. Meaning they won’t see us; we’re just observers.”

“What’s happening?” Jane noticed that the crew were all looking towards some kind of partition which had been placed on the bridge.

“We were transporting a Medusan ambassador named Kollos, along with his assistant, Dr. Miranda Jones, who’s blind,” the elder Jane explained. “As you probably know, Medusans are energy-based beings who cannot be looked upon using the naked eye. Anyone who did would be sent into a state of madness. The only one who could to an extent was Spock, but he still had to wear special goggles. During the journey, an engineering officer who had joined us began to show his lust for Miranda, but she loved Kollos and the officer became jealous.”

“Men.” Jane rolled her eyes.

The elder Jane nodded in agreement. “He tried to kill Kollos, but upon seeing him he went mad and in a panic, he set the ship to Warp 9, which sent us outside the galaxy on an unstable course. When we caught him, there was nothing we could do; the only known cure is for a loved one of the victim to place themselves in front of them, eyes locked. Miranda tried this, but since it was lust the officer felt and not love, it didn’t work. He died.”

“And the ship?” Jane asked. The memory, she noticed, had paused around them. She reasoned that it would play again once the elder Jane had finished explaining.

“Without navigational references, we were lost in Space,” said the elder Jane. “Kollos was a gifted navigator, so agreed to mind-meld with Spock in order to work the controls of the ship and get us back on course. We set up that partition on the bridge to protect everyone from looking at Kollos during the process of the mind-meld. Spock had to put on the special goggles, and when he emerged, he was… Well, he was smiling. It looked odd on him. Kollos was in his mind. He was able to steer the ship back on course. Spock then disappeared behind the partition to release the mind-meld, but…”

The elder Jane pointed to where the goggles had been left on the helm console, and at that moment the memory around them began to play. Spock emerged from behind the partition, and while at first he appeared to be OK, when McCoy approached him he lashed out. Spock knocked McCoy over; Chekov and Sulu tried to restrain him, but they were thrown backwards into several security officers.

That was when the Jane in the memory stepped in front of him, but she did more than that; she placed her hands on his face, either side, holding him as steady as she could.

“Spock! Spock, look at me! Look at me!”

Spock tried to struggle, but his eyes met hers and he slowly but surely began to calm down, until he collapsed to the floor. The memory Jane knelt beside him, gently stroking his face, and Spock – in a move which shocked the observing Jane – reached out and tenderly touched her cheek.

Then the memory disappeared, and it was just her and the elder Jane on the bridge.

“The circumstances which led to our marriage and the pregnancy are complicated,” said the latter. “But it was on that day – at that moment when he calmed upon seeing me, and I felt the tenderness of his touch – when I knew for certain that he loved me. It took him a bit longer to admit it aloud, but just knowing was all I needed.”

Jane just stared at her, and then stared at where moments ago she had seen the pair on the floor. Before, she had struggled to imagine Spock being tender – but she had seen it with her own eyes.

It didn’t change her opinion; she still wanted to make her own choices when it came to love. But it made her realize that there were many sides to Spock she didn’t know about.

There was a sudden beeping, and both Janes looked around the bridge to see what it was. But then the younger Jane recalled the noise. “It’s my alarm. I’ll wake up any second now.” She gave the elder Jane a worried look. “But will you still be here? There’s so much more I want to ask you, since your stubborn husband doesn’t want to say anything.”

The elder Jane laughed. “Well, I may not be able to say some things either, but only certain things. I’ll be more open than he is. As for whether I’ll still be here, I have a feeling that I might be. But we’ll have to see. Right now, you need to wake up.”

And she did.

Jane awoke in her quarters, lying in bed, and the alarm on the bedside cabinet was beeping over and over in its usual ‘wake up!’ tone. The young woman sighed and switched it off, while part of her looked forwards to her next sleep and her next talk with her elder counterpart.

\---

“Checkmate.”

Gary Mitchell sighed. “Seriously? Again? I really don’t know how you do that.”

“It’s a gift, I guess.” Jane shrugged as she gestured to the 3D Chess game before her. She’d beaten her fellow crew mate for the fifth time in a row. “And remember, it was _you_ who asked to play _me_ before your shift.”

“I wanted to impress you,” he admitted. “I guess I’ll have to find another way.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. She didn’t know Gary Mitchell very well; he had only been in a couple of her Command classes during the second and third year at the Academy, and even then they had spoken to each other rarely – which was whenever Gary had tried to ask her out.

At the time, Jane had been focussed on her studies and had politely turned him down each time. But now that they were in Space…

Her thoughts drifted to the other Spock touching the cheek of her counterpart… Jane shook her head. She stood by what she’d said before; she wanted to make her own choices instead of dating someone because it had happened in another time-line.

Besides, Gary seemed like a nice guy.

“Do you want a rematch?” she asked. “Sixth time could be a charm.”

“Nah, I’m already charming enough,” he replied. “Hey, why don’t you try playing Spock sometime? No one’s beat him yet.”

“I have asked,” Jane admitted. “He turned me down. I think he’s still a little pissed about the _Kobayashi Maru_ incident.”

“That was a pretty awesome thing you did, by the way.” Gary leaned forwards. “A lot of the others in our class felt the test was too hard, but none of us were brave enough to speak up about it. Not only did you speak up, but you blatantly cheated in order to make your point. That took guts.”

Jane smirked as she recalled the memory; slouched on the Captain’s chair with an apple in hand, casually disregarding the threats in the stimulation while McCoy and Uhura tried to hint that she needed to take the test seriously. Jane hadn’t been worried; earlier she’d convinced Chekov to help her change the conditions of the test. There was only one way to win, one which she knew.

So, when she’d opened up a comm that the enemy could hear too, saying she intended to invoke the _Corbomite Maneuver_ – which would cause the ship to explode, and take any ship within radius along with it – the Klingons had high-tailed it out of there, leaving the damaged ship behind. She could have easily just dropped the Klingon shields, but where was the fun in that?

“Are you trying to flatter me, Mr. Mitchell?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Maybe. Listen, when you turned me down before, you said it was because you wanted to focus on your studies. We’re not studying now, so how about hanging out some time?”

“We _are_ hanging out right now.”

“I meant on a date.”

“I know.” She smiled. “How about after our shifts?” Gary opened his mouth, most likely to agree, but was prevented from speaking by Jane’s comm beeping. She opened it up, already knowing who it was and getting annoyed that he had ruined the moment. “Go ahead, Mr. Spock.”

“ _Captain, we have intercepted a distress beacon of a most curious nature. Your presence is required on the bridge._ ”

“On my way.” She got up from her seat. “C’mon, Gary. It’s your shift now.” She then turned to another crew member who had been sat nearby. “You too, Kelso.”

“Yes, Captain.”

The two men followed her into the turbo-lift, and they were soon walking out onto the bridge. Jane watched as Gary and Kelso relieved Riley and another crew member – _Hadley, wasn't it?_ – before she made her way over to Spock. “Mr. Spock, what’ve we got?”

“Captain, the distress beacon we intercepted is from an old Earth vessel,” said Spock. “The _SS Valiant_.”

Jane recalled her history lessons. “The _Valiant_? Didn’t she disappear over a century ago?”

“She did, indeed,” said Spock. “There is no sign of the ship; just the beacon. I am attempting to access the beacon’s data recorder remotely.”

Jane waited patiently as he worked. As the minutes passed, she saw just how close to his face she was, and quickly pulled away before he or anyone else noticed. Looking at Spock again, she realized that he was oblivious, and she rolled her eyes. _Typical_.

“Anything yet?” she asked.

“I am getting something.” He pressed his earpiece closer. “The ship’s logs are fragmented, but…it appears their mission was similar to ours; exploring the galaxy’s edge in the same quadrant. They took severe damage from… _something_. Seven crewmen dead… No, make that six. One recovered.”

“Recovered?” Jane questioned. “So was he just injured, or brought back to life?”

“It does not specify.” Spock listened more closely. “This next report must be garbled for it does not make sense; something about extra-sensory perception. The Captain was frantic. He gave an order…for the ship to self-destruct.”

“Mr. Spock, ask Lt. Kyle to beam the beacon aboard.” Jane turned to Uhura’s station. “Lt. Uhura, I want those logs scrubbed clean. Then give me a full report on the contents.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Captain.” Jane turned to where Kelso was giving her a worried look. “We’re approaching the edge of the galaxy.”

“Keep her steady and on course,” Jane ordered. “I have a funny feeling that whatever happened to the _Valiant_ happened when they attempted to cross outside the galaxy. And we also need to see what’s out there.”

Spock raised his eyebrow, and Jane stopped herself from rolling her eyes at him. _Why is his only form of visible expression apparently limited to his left goddamn eyebrow?_ “So we are going to cross outside our galaxy, even when we do not know what is out there, and even when we suspect the _Valiant_ ’s troubles started because they did the very same thing?”

“We must be bold, Mr. Spock. Otherwise we’ll never learn anything.” She sat down in her chair. “Keep moving forwards, helm.”

That was when Scotty arrived, and judging by the look on his face, Jane knew he was going to give her a lecture about the _Enterprise_ ’s engine condition. She wondered how she had gotten to the stage when she knew these things about him despite their limited time in acquaintance.

“Cap’n! I need a moment of your time-”

“Captain, look!”

Jane and Scotty turned to see a wall of green light on the screen, directly ahead. The former turned to Spock, as she always did whenever she saw weird crap she didn’t understand. “Spock, tell me you know what that is?”

“I do not, Captain. The readings are inconclusive,” he said. “But it appears to be a force field of some kind.”

“Shields up!” Jane ordered, just as they crossed through the strange force field. The entire ship shuddered before the lights went out. “Yellow alert! Status report!”

Sparks suddenly flew from Uhura’s station, and Jane hurried from her chair to help her friend and former roommate up. “I’m fine,” Uhura insisted.

“Make that red alert!” yelled Jane. “All decks on fire alert!” The helm suddenly went up in sparks like what had happened at Uhura’s station, and while Kelso appeared to be mostly OK, Gary suddenly clutched his head and screamed in pain. “Gary!”

“Captain! Help!” Gary collapsed to the floor.

Jane hurried to his side before looking up at Scotty. “Mr. Scott, get us back into our galaxy! Now!”

“Aye, Cap’n!” He ran to the helm.

Jane turned her attention back to the officer on the floor. “Gary, are you hurt?” She helped him to his feet.

“Captain…” He ran a hand down his face. “I feel…weird. Wait, no, forget that. I feel…fine.”

He opened his eyes…revealing them to be a glistening silver with the pupils gone.

\---

“Captain’s log, supplemental: Our encounter with the force field at the galaxy’s edge has crippled the ship. Nine crew members were lost; they all experienced sudden seizures with unknown origin. Lt. Mitchell was almost the tenth, but he appears to have made a recovery, and Dr. McCoy has him under close observation. We’ve lost warp capability, reduced to impulse power only. Bridge functionality has been restored, but barely. Now we just need to figure out what to do.”

Jane switched off the log before turning to the two officers in her presence; McCoy and Spock.

“Damnedest thing I’ve ever seen, Jane,” said the former. “Gary’s vitals are perfect – in fact, they’re better than they were before! He’s alert, and he’s been reading for the last twelve hours. He keeps asking for _more_.”

“More what?” asked Jane.

“Information. Data. Anything and everything. I had to give him a book of _poetry_ to shut him up.”

Jane was unsure what to make of this. “Mr. Spock, do you have anything? We lost crew, and I want to know why.”

“I have been studying their medical records for any commonalities in hope of ascertaining the cause,” he replied. “All of the affected crew members shared extraordinary results for the same barrage of tests; esper, apperception, Duke/Heidelberg quotient…”

“Those are all tests for psychic ability.”

“Precisely. And Lt. Mitchell scored the highest of them all,” said Spock. “Logically, I have concluded that the force field caused the psychic abilities to somehow manifest, which would explain Mitchell’s desire for more information. Mitchell was the only one able to survive the transformation, seeing as he scored the highest.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “So you’re telling me that we have an information-hungry psychic on our ship with possibly other kinds of powerful abilities?”

“Dammit!” McCoy hurried from the room, and Jane and Spock followed.

Jane then had a thought; she recalled a psychologist who had been assigned to the ship shortly after the Nero incident. “Bones, what about Dr. Dehner? She should be able to help us.”

“Uh…she withdrew,” said McCoy hesitantly.

“Don't tell me…”

“I thought she’d forgiven me.” Jane rolled her eyes; that incident between McCoy and Elizabeth Dehner had been the talk of the Academy for the months that had followed. Part of her found it rather amusing that such a gruff, grouchy doctor like McCoy could find himself attached to so many women.

She was brought back on topic by Spock. “Captain, I am concerned about the reference to extra-sensory perception in the logs recovered from the _Valiant_. We have already established that what happened to that ship is happening to ours, and if that includes what has happened to Mitchell-”

“Check with Uhura and see what you can find,” said Jane, as they arrived outside medical. “Let's just be grateful that Gary seems to be…OK?”

The door opened just as she finished speaking, and what the three saw inside left them all speechless. Gary was levitating several objects around him, a gleeful smile upon his face, while Nurse Chapel and Dr. M’Benga had dived behind one of the many beds in the room with the rest of the medical staff.

“Jane!” Gary exclaimed upon seeing her. “What do you think? Are you impressed now? I feel _incredible_! Don’t let the eyes bother you; I would hate to cancel our date.”

“Date?” Spock sent Jane a questioning look.

She ignored him. “Gary, how are you doing that?”

“I’m not sure.” He shrugged. “I just think of making it happen, and it does.”

McCoy scanned him. “Nothing out of the ordinary, Jane.”

“You mean _aside_ from the floating objects?”

“Oh, and Jane,” said Gary, “I meant to tell you. There’s something wrong with the impulse power. Mr. Scott will probably tell you _all about it_. It’s amazing, Jane. It’s like I can hear the ship; like she’s talking to me, and I can talk back to her. Haven’t you always wanted to talk to a ship, Jane?”

McCoy approached him. “Gary, how about you rest a little while-”

“Don't touch me!” Gary pushed McCoy down, and Jane hurriedly crouched by her friend’s side.

“Gary, don’t do that again!” she yelled. “I want you on bed rest and under observation until we find out what happened to you. That’s an _order_.”

“Aye, aye. _Captain_.”

The mocking way in which he had replied worried her. _If only there’s a way I can find out about this quicker. It must have happened before apart from on the Valiant… Boy, am I stupid_. “Spock, I want you to check with Scotty about that impulse power. I need to go and lie down for a bit and think things over,” she told her First Officer as they both left medical.

“Lie down?” Spock questioned. “Captain, are you feeling well?”

“I feel fine, Spock,” said Jane. “There’s just something I need to do.”

Five minutes later she was asleep, standing on the bridge of the other _Enterprise_ in front of the elder Jane, who apparently hadn’t moved from her seat.

“Is something wrong?” asked the elder counterpart.

“There is.” Jane sat down in one of the helm’s seats, her eyes never leaving her counterpart. “I need you to tell me everything you know about a man named Gary Mitchell.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aiming to upload one chapter a day, but if anyone's feeling impatient and wants to read the whole story at once, here's the link to the complete story over on FanFic.Net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9795158/1/Written-in-the-Stars


	3. No Man Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are resolved, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter continues with the 'Where No Man Has Gone Before' arc. The ending also includes a plot point from the later comics.

The elder Jane blinked once, then again, before she gazed off to her right, deep in thought. “Gary Mitchell… I haven’t thought about him in years. Of course, the last time I saw him was years ago…”

“Yes, maybe for you,” said Jane. “But for me he’s on my ship, right now, and he’s levitating random objects in my medical station. I need information, like, _now_.”

“Levitating?” The elder Jane gave her younger counterpart a weird look. “He shouldn’t be doing that yet. That happened in 2266; eight years from now.”

“Alternate reality; things happening differently,” Jane reminded her. “Remember I’ve become Captain a lot sooner than you, so things are apparently happening sooner. I need information.”

The elder woman thought before replying. “Well, I knew him at the Academy; he used to flirt with me all the time.”

“No differences there, then,” said Jane. “Did you turn him down? You know, since you ended up with Spock, and all…”

“Actually, I dated Gary for a bit while we both served on the _Enterprise_ ,” said the elder Jane. “But then Captain Pike asked me to end it. He had no problems with me, but Gary was growing too attached and it was affecting his duty. He didn’t take it well, but he tried to cope. Admittedly, I think it would have ended anyway, even if Pike hadn’t asked me; it really wasn’t going anywhere.”

Jane found herself having second thoughts about Gary; she had never really been into obsessive guys who got too attached. She would maybe give him a try once he recovered from his condition, even if the relationship turned out to be nothing serious. Just to get out there and let other guys know she was available and willing.

“So relationship issues aside,” she continued, “what’s with these powers he’s developing?”

“They’re godlike,” said the older woman. “He’ll gradually get more powerful until he’ll lose himself; Gary Mitchell will be no more, and there’ll be nothing and no one who can stop him. The same thing happened to another crew member; Elizabeth Dehner. Is she…?”

“She’s not on the ship,” said Jane. “There was an…incident between her and McCoy.”

The elder Jane looked surprised. “Well. That was different,” she said. “I know my McCoy showed interest in her, especially at the Academy, but nothing developed beyond that. Gary dated her after me, but I knew he was trying to make me jealous. That became obvious when…” She shuddered.

“What?” asked Jane.

The elder woman sighed, averting her gaze to her feet. “We tried to strand him on an uninhabited planet,” she explained. “Spock advised me to kill him, but I couldn’t do it. I thought this was the better option. But he went on a rampage, and after he killed Lt. Kelso I realized that I had to kill him. He then killed Dr. Dehner and tried to keep me on the planet with him. You can probably guess why.”

All thoughts about dating him flew out the window after hearing that. “Did you…?”

“Kill him? Yes.” She sighed again. “I was able to cause a landslide of rocks which landed on top of him.” Her gaze rose, and her eyes locked with Jane’s. “Being a Captain means taking responsibility for your crew, and sometimes doing the right thing – for all of them – means losing some of them. As much as I hated that, it was a sad truth. It was as Spock always told me: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

“Or the one,” Jane finished. She really didn’t want to wake up and face what she had to do…but she knew that her crew – her _friends_ – needed her.

\---

“How the hell did he know about the impulse problem?! I hadn’t even told _you_ yet, Cap’n!”

The senior officers were sat around a table in the meeting room. Jane had dubbed it the DSS Room – or, in longer terms, the ‘Discussing Strange Shit’ Room. Still groggy after her short sleep, she turned to Scotty with a questioning look. “Then tell me now, Mr. Scott.”

“Well, the warp core is completely fried, as we know,” he explained. “But even before we were hit by whatever it was, I found cracks in the impulse engines that I need a Starbase to fix. A well-equipped one, preferably.”

“But vithout varp capability, it vill take us _years_ to reach ze nearest base,” said Chekov. “If impulse power holds, we can reach ze outpost on Delta Vega in a few days.”

“Which one; the one Pointy stranded me on or that other, warmer one?”

“Pointy? Is that a derogatory reference-?”

“Not now, Spock.”

“Ze varmer one, Keptin,” Chekov replied. “It has an old lithium-cracking facility, uninhabited. But it may have ze resources ve need.”

“Fine, we’ll head there.” Jane then turned to McCoy. “Any update on Gary?”

“Got him sedated,” said the doctor. “But he’s still _smiling_ , the maniac. It’s making me nervous.”

Jane bit her lip; she wanted to explain to all of them what her elder counterpart had told her. But she realized that enough shit was happening at the moment, and she didn’t need to add the ghost of her counterpart showing up in her dreams into the mix. She would just have to suggest the right things in the right way, she reasoned.

“Uhura, how are you getting on with those logs?” she asked.

“I recovered a new fragment,” said the communications officer. “The crewmen who recovered from the attack showed the same symptoms as Mitchell – shortly before the Captain issued the self-destruct order.”

“Which means that Gary’s gonna get worse. Bones,” She turned to McCoy, “I want constant updates on him; keep him sedated, and if he so much as blinks I want to know about it. Chekov, Sulu,” She turned to the two gold-shirts, “set a course for the warm Delta Vega as fast as we can get there. And Scotty,” She turned to the engineer, “give us what you can. All of you, I want no discussion of the Mitchell situation with the rest of the crew. Dismissed.”

The officers rose from their seats and left the room, but Spock hung back. “Captain, I am not sure how well you may take this, but our patient is no longer Gary Mitchell.”

_Gary Mitchell will be no more_. Jane recalled the words of her counterpart as she sighed. “I have a feeling you’re right, Spock.”

“I attempted to mind-meld with him while you were having a lie down,” Spock explained. “There’s no one there. No consciousness or sentience of any kind. Whatever inhabits the body of Gary Mitchell now poses a threat to the ship and her crew. Logically we have two options: kill him, or leave him behind on Delta Vega.”

Jane nodded. “I know. When we reach Delta Vega, we’ll bring him down with us and see what happens. If he doesn’t make a fuss, we’ll leave him there. But if he proves too dangerous…” She looked away.

“I shall kill him, Captain.” Spock approached her, before laying a hand upon her shoulder.

Jane knew that Vulcans didn’t tend to make physical contact with others. It wasn’t because they didn’t like it; it was because they were sensitive to touch, as it conveyed their feelings to the person they were touching. The fact that Spock was touching her now said a lot.

It hadn’t been the first time. Jane recalled the memory from that terrible day when Vulcan had been destroyed. Upon being beamed back to the ship after taking out Nero’s drill, Jane had then gone with Spock in order to aide him with the evacuation of the Vulcan High Council. Part of her had wanted to prove herself to him, especially after the _Kobayashi Maru_ incident. Another part of her had just wanted to help.

She’d been waiting outside when he hurried out, hand in hand with his mother. Jane had run up to him, calling the _Enterprise_ and asking for them to be beamed up. Before them Vulcan had been crumbling to pieces, being pulled inwards by the black hole at its centre…

It had been in that moment when Jane had noticed Spock’s mother standing too close to the edge of the cliff that was beginning to crumble beneath them, so had grabbed her arm and yanked her away. The force of the action had caused her to stumble, and she herself would have fallen if Amanda Grayson hadn’t kept a hold of her, and Spock hadn’t grabbed her other hand.

Jane had felt his feelings during that touch; ain from losing his home world, fear and panic from almost losing his mother…and overwhelming gratitude towards Jane for saving Amanda. It was on that day when Jane realized that Spock _did_ have emotions…

…and it was only later when she realized how out of control those emotions could get.

Now Jane moved away from his touch; she had felt his sympathy. “On my order, if you can.”

“If I may, Captain, I would like to do so even if you do not give the order. You feel for him. It would be hard for you.”

She remembered that he had heard Gary mention their date. “The date wasn’t going to be anything serious. I thought it could be, but…I don’t feel anything for Gary, at least nothing more than I feel for the rest of my crew. I will give the order, Spock.”

“And if you do not when you need to?”

“...Then kill him.”

\---

“ _Captain, we have reached Delta Vega._ ”

“Very good, Mr. Spock. Meet me in sickbay.” Jane began to make her way down the halls, tiredly rubbing her eyes. She hadn’t slept in days, although she couldn’t blame herself; she’d been too worried that Gary would escape and kill the rest of her crew…

She shook her head. Gary – or the body of Gary – was still being kept in sickbay, harmless. Still, she hadn’t wanted to take any chances. Even the comfort of talking to her counterpart hadn’t been enough to lull her into sleep.

When she entered sickbay, Gary was smiling. “Why so sad, Jane?”

Jane knew what that meant. “Are you reading all our thoughts, Gary?” She was suddenly worried that he would find out about her counterpart…

“Not thoughts, exactly; colours.” Jane sighed inwardly with relief. “I feel like a blind man who can suddenly see; who can suddenly do _anything_. Does that frighten you? I wouldn’t want that frightening you, Jane dear.”

“We didn’t even go on that date, so don’t call me that,” said Jane firmly. “I’m your Captain.”

“I know. And I know that you have to make the right decision for the crew.” He rose to his feet. “I know we’re orbiting Delta Vega, and I know you intend to strand me there. I can’t let you do that, Jane.”

“I don’t have a choice, Gary.”

“You do. You have many choices.” He turned and looked over at Spock. “And one of them is what Mr. Spock is thinking right now; to kill me. Although if what I’m sensing is right, he’s not thinking of the well-being of the crew.” He suddenly let out bolts of lightning from his fingers in Spock’s direction.

Without thinking what she was doing, Jane leapt in front of her First Officer and took the blast, causing her to fall to the floor.

“Captain!” Spock instantly knelt by her side, helping her to her feet, while McCoy injected Gary with a sedative.

“I’m fine, Spock. Thanks.” Jane sent him a grateful smile. “And why aren’t you thinking of the crew’s well-being?”

But Spock didn’t reply, and instead looked over at McCoy. “Doctor, how long will the sedative last?”

“Not long,” said the doctor. “Soon it won’t work on him at all. I’ve been using enough to knock out half the Klingon Empire. Hopefully this is enough to get him down to the surface.”

Jane stared at Gary knocked out on the floor, and sighed. “Then we better get him down there right away. Spock, summon Mr. Scott and Lieutenants Kyle and Kelso, and tell them to meet us in the transporter room.”

\---

After Jane ordered Scotty, Kyle and Kelso to look for the parts they needed, she and Spock transported Gary to the station’s quarters for the crew. Gary woke up not long afterwards, and Jane and Spock remained alert as the man – or what was left of the man – sat himself on a bunk-bed.

“Spock stranded you on that other Delta Vega, didn’t he?” said Gary. “Right before you and he saved the galaxy. You hated that, and yet you’re doing the same to me. Ironic, isn’t it?”

“Gary, you’re moving beyond anything human,” said Jane. “You’re a danger to my crew. I could have taken the other option, but I didn’t.”

“You should have.”

He sprung from his seat, letting out bolts of electricity as he ran forwards, and his silver eyes were the last thing Jane saw before she blacked out.

\---

When Jane awoke, she felt a sun’s heat upon her as it shone in her eyes. She recalled Gary’s escape, but she could have sworn it happened inside. _So how did I end up out here?_

But then she remembered what her counterpart had told her, and immediately scrambled to her feet. She had no clue where on the planet she was – hopefully not far from the facility – and upon turning around she saw Gary a few paces away, leaning against a rock with a fruit in his hand.

“Kaferian apple?” he offered her. “I know it’s your favourite. If you stay with me, Jane, I can give you as many as you want.” He pointed over to a dry patch of sand and suddenly a plant sprung up, followed by plenty more. “Behold, a miracle. I can feel your fear, but there’s no reason to be afraid. I won’t hurt you, Jane – unless you try and hurt me, of course. Look around.” Now a forest was beginning to grow, and Jane didn’t know whether to be amazed or frightened. “I’m the God of Life now, Jane. The Creator of Worlds.”

Jane sent him a hesitant look; she was _not_ looking forwards to her next move. “Gary, if there’s any part of you that can still hear me…” She reached down to her belt and found her phaser, taking it out and aiming it at him. “…then I’m sorry.”

She fired, but Gary raised his hand and stopped the blast effortlessly. “Pathetic. Why do you think I let you keep that thing? You cannot kill a God.”

“Maybe not,” said Jane. “But I can stop you from leaving this planet.”

“You can’t stop me, Jane,” said Gary. “You can’t win. So maybe Spock’s little test was a good thing, after all. It teaches kids like you that no matter what you do, sometimes you _just can’t win_. If you could, your father would still be alive now.”

Jane tried to throw herself at him – no one ever spoke about her father like that and got away with it – but Gary stopped her in mid-air before sending her down onto her knees. “Gary…”

“Beg for forgiveness.” Gary smirked. “For your ship, your crew, your planet…and for that First Officer of yours. Where is he now in your time of need?”

“Right here.” Gary suddenly collapsed, revealing Spock standing behind him; he had just applied the nerve pinch to the man’s shoulder. Spock then passed his limp body and held a hand out to Jane. “My apologies, Captain. I did not get here quick enough. Are you hurt? Has he done anything to you?” Jane swore she saw a dark look cross the Vulcan’s face.

“No, he hasn’t. And I’m fine.” Jane accepted his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet.

“Jane…” They both turned to where Gary still lay…only to find that his eyes were no longer silver. “Kill me…” he said. “Before…it takes over…”

Jane understood, and just as his eyes began to turn silver again, she took aim with her phaser and fired it at his chest.

\---

“Captain’s log…whatever the date is. I…buried members of my crew today. Friends…maybe even family. This pain I feel… I know now that it’s my job to bear it. Because the lives of the rest of my crew depend on me…and that’s scary.”

Sat in the recreation room, Jane closed off the log and sighed. She had dreaded the day when she lost crew…and it felt worse than she imagined. Especially losing Gary, whom she had killed herself.

_He shouldn’t be doing that yet. That happened in 2266; eight years from now_. The elder Jane’s words came back to her, which brought up a theory she had been dreading. Both counterparts – of herself and Spock – had given her gently pushes towards her Spock. She wondered…what if the universe _itself_ wanted them to be together?

She had shown interest in Gary…and he had immediately been dealt with, by damning him to the fate which he shouldn’t have met for another eight years. She didn’t like what it implied; that there was nothing she could do about her fate, and that she would end up with Spock no matter what.

“Captain.” Jane turned to see Spock approaching her, and she noticed that he was holding his personal set of 3D Chess in his hands. “Mr. Mitchell…Gary often spoke highly of your skills, and I would like to test them myself.”

“OK. Why now?” When he raised an eyebrow, she corrected herself. “I mean, I thought you didn’t want to play me because of the… Well, you could think I’m a cheater after…”

“I am aware of what you are referring to, Captain,” said Spock. “And I have informed you before that I do not feel any resentment for your actions. The reason I turned you down for a game whenever you asked is because I felt you would not be able to manage against me. Now I see that you can. I was only thinking of you.”

Jane couldn’t help but smile at his words. In his own way, Spock had been considerate towards her. “Alright. Game on.”

The game lasted for four hours. During that time, crew members came and went from the recreation room, and some even settled down near them with food and drink as if they were watching a show. Jane wasn’t surprised; no one had lasted this long against Spock.

She felt several of her friends sitting behind her, and this gave her the confidence to not lose her cool. It also helped her focus on Spock’s methods; he appeared to plan everything out, staying at least three steps ahead of her, so Jane fought against this. She made random moves, ones which no person would usually make, in an attempt to throw him off. Judging by his occasional frowns, it appeared to be working.

Despite all this, she didn’t expect to win against him. After all, Spock had been crowned the Grand Master of 3D Chess back at the Academy; no one could beat him. So it was a great surprise for her when she found a checkmate move, right there in front of her, waiting for her to execute it. She wondered if Spock had set it up as a trap, but decided to make the move anyway.

“Uh…checkmate?”

Spock frowned. Then he looked confused. And then he looked up at her with great surprise in his eyes. This was enough of an answer; she had won.

The crew watching them cheered. McCoy patted Jane on the back while Chekov and Sulu high-fived, and Uhura gave her a hug. Spock remained seated, unmoving, until they were all summoned to the bridge.

Much later, as she headed back to her quarters, Jane wondered if she had somehow insulted him unintentionally. After all, he had never been beaten before – as far as she could remember. Growing up, perhaps, he may have been beaten by his father, but that was different. And he hadn’t said a word to her throughout their shift, apart from when he provided her with updates – but even those had been brief and to the point.

Jane found herself feeling awful, and made the decision to apologize to him after she’d rested. For what, she didn’t know. It just felt like the right thing to do.

But when she arrived in her quarters and sat down on her bed, she found a white chess piece on her bedside table. The queen. She picked it up and examined it…before realizing that it was the piece from Spock’s set.

When she fell asleep, she was able to sub-consciously bring the piece with her. She didn’t say anything to the elder Jane; she just showed her the piece.

No words were needed. Upon seeing the piece, the elder Jane smiled knowingly. “Even if you don’t want it to happen, it’s already happening,” she said. “Your Spock’s starting to fall for you.” 


	4. Galileo's Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and some of the crew get into trouble, and Jane worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on two issues of the comics, which in turn were inspired by the Original Series episode 'The Galileo Seven'. There’s also a flashback to the events of 'This Side of Paradise', and a mention of what happened in the Animated Series episode 'Mudd’s Passion'.

“OK, this is starting to get ridiculous now.”

“It’s not, and you should just go with it.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “You don’t get it! I don’t want to follow some path that destiny appears to be lying before me! I want to make my own choices!”

“Usually I would agree with such a statement,” said her elder counterpart. “I was always one who made my own choices, too. The only reason I’m telling you to embrace this is because I’ve lived my life; I can tell you now that Spock was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“But…” Jane looked down at the chess piece in her hand again. “I still don’t understand the whole…love thing. I saw it when you showed me that memory, and yet I can’t wrap my head around it. I know he can feel, but how does love even _work_ with him?”

The elder Jane thought. “Let me show you another memory.” The scene around them began to change, and Jane was surprised when the bridge disappeared and was replaced by a farm surrounded by meadows. “While you were gone, I tested this out; I can travel through my memories and appear in any place I have previously been.”

Jane noticed herself, Spock, McCoy, Sulu and various other crewmen looking around the farm, before being approached by a farmer wearing overalls. The memory-Jane looked confused and surprised.

“So what’s going on here?” asked the young Jane.

“We were sent to the planet Omicron Ceti III, where a colony had been set up some years before,” the elder Jane explained. “Later it was discovered that the planet’s sun was giving out deadly radiation rays which would kill a life form within a week; my crew and I were sent on the upsetting mission of collecting what remained of the colonists.”

“They seem fine, though.” Jane pointed to the man who’d appeared, along with several other colonists who were gathering around the _Enterprise_ crew.

The elder Jane nodded. “It puzzled us for a long time, but we eventually figured it out. The planet has a type of plant which lets out spores when approached. These spores give a person amazing health, and leaves them in a state of bliss. The colonists were sprayed by these spores, which enabled them to survive the radiation.”

“So why are you showing me this?” asked Jane.

Her elder self closed her eyes and the scene changed. They were inside one of the farm houses, and Jane looked around to see the man from before along with the memory versions of herself, Spock and McCoy. A young woman – blonde haired and blue eyed – was also present.

“That young woman is Leila Kalomi,” the elder Jane explained. “Spock met her back in 2261 – so unless things have drastically changed in your time-line, your Spock has yet to meet her. Hope that he doesn’t.”

“Why?”

The elder Jane only gestured to the scene, and the younger counterpart saw and understood. It was obvious that this young woman was in love with Spock – and it was also obvious that the memory-Jane looked a little peeved by the woman.

“Spock may not have shown any interest in her, but…” The elder Jane sighed. “When I chose Spock as my First Officer, I chose him because he was capable. My actions here made people think otherwise.”

“They thought you had a crush on him?” Jane questioned. When her elder self looked down at her feet in embarrassment, the younger woman’s eyes widened. “You actually _did_?”

“At the time I didn’t know what it was,” the elder Jane admitted.

“OK.” Jane turned back to the scene. “So despite Spock acting like an android, he somehow got women attracted to him. God knows why, but that doesn’t answer my question.”

The elder Jane changed the scene again; the landing party, except for Spock, were being showed the mysterious flowers. The spores flew, and the only one who wasn’t hit was the memory-Jane. Everyone else suddenly started smiling. The younger Jane was about to ask where Spock was before she noticed him hurrying towards the crew with Leila trying to catch up to him.

“Jane, Leila has been showing me all the kinds of flowers she is growing here.” He suddenly produced a red rose from behind his back and gave it to her. “I thought you would like to have one. It really is lovely, like you.”

The memory-Jane didn’t know what to say, and neither did the young counterpart – for Spock was _smiling_ , and it just looked weird. “He was hit by the spores?”

“Leila showed him one in hopes that it would make him return her feelings,” said the elder Jane. She nodded over to where Leila looked heartbroken. “But as I said before, Spock didn't feel anything for her. Me, on the other hand… He showered me with gifts, and I didn’t have the heart to say ‘no’ to him.”

“So what happened?”

“After a few hours, the flowers were taken up to the ship, and more members of the crew became affected by them,” replied the elder Jane. “I noticed that the radiation was beginning to affect Leila, so I beamed her up to the ship with me.” The memory changed to the _Enterprise_ ’s bridge again. “Then the crew… They started what could only be described as a “peaceful” mutiny. They were under the effects of the spores; they wanted to live on the planet in happiness. Uhura even sabotaged the communications station so Starfleet couldn’t be contacted. And then I was hit with the spores.”

“You must have gotten over it.”

She nodded. “I contacted Spock and told him I would be with him. Leila heard and started yelling at me about it, saying I didn’t deserve Spock. I yelled back…and the effects of the spores went away. I realized that strong emotion was the key. I had to get Spock to react emotionally in order to bring him back to his senses.”

The scene changed, and they were in the transporter room. The memory versions of Jane and Spock were there, and the former was yelling abuse at the latter – before he attacked her.

“So that’s what the other Spock was thinking of when he asked me to take command,” Jane realized.

The fight went on for about a minute before Spock finally came to. Then the scene changed and they were back on the empty bridge of the _Enterprise_.

“Together, Spock and I were able to get emotional reactions out of the rest of the crew, and the colonists,” said the elder Jane. “Hopefully that answers your question.”

Jane had to admit that it did. Sort of. “He loved you…even then, before you’d gotten together.”

“I don’t think it was love back then,” the elder Jane admitted. “More like attraction; like two teenagers getting to know the feeling for the first time. But it was emotion all the same; there’s emotion in him, Jane. It’s just hidden under all that Vulcan logic.”

“I knew that already,” said Jane. “It was just the love part which I didn’t understand. And don’t think for one minute that this had changed my mind.”

The elder Jane looked amused. “I had a feeling. But remember that while Spock gives in to his Vulcan side, he is still half-human. And sometimes it really shows.”

\---

“I am entirely opposed to this delay, Captain!”

Jane gritted her teeth, trying _very hard_ not to snap at Commissioner Ferris. He’d been on her ship for only two days, and he was already driving her – and a large portion of the crew – crazy. As if it already wasn’t bad enough with the ghost of her counterpart appearing in her dreams and hinting that she and Spock should get together. “It’s not a delay, Commissioner.”

“It is,” he insisted. “Your mission is to get the supplies to Makus III in time for their transfer to New Paris.”

“We’ll be there in plenty of time, Commissioner.” Jane rose from her seat and turned to him. “In the meantime, I have standing orders to investigate any unusual phenomena we encounter. Murasaki 312 definitely qualifies.” She then sat back down in her seat and opened up a channel to the crew waiting in the shuttle. “Captain to _Galileo_. Whenever you’re ready, Mr. Spock.”

“ _Aye, Captain. All systems ready. Take us out, Mr. Latimer._ ”

Jane watched on the screen as the _Galileo_ made its way towards Murasaki 312. She thought of Lt. Latimer, whom had taken a romantic interest in her not long after the Mitchell incident; he had been in her second year Interspecies Ethics class at the Academy, and seemed nice enough.

“Captain, they’re hailing us!”

Jane leapt out of her chair and hurried over to Uhura, just as the transmission came through. “ _Galileo to Enterprise. Galileo to Enterprise, come in please. We are being pulled off course into the heart of-_ ” Spock’s voice was cut off suddenly, being replaced with static.

“What happened?” Jane demanded.

“They completely cut out,” said Uhura. “Captain, he said that they were being pulled off course…”

Jane bit her lip and turned. “Mr. Chekov, scan for the _Galileo_!”

“Scanners are blank, Keptin! Ionization is disrupting all systems!” He looked down at his feet, upset, and Jane knew why; Martha was on the _Galileo_.

Jane was also worried for the members of her crew – her _friends_ – and out of all of them one stood out. She was surprised when she realized this one person _wasn't_ Latimer.

“This is exactly what I was afraid of!” Jane flinched at the Commissioner’s raised voice; she really didn’t want to deal with him and his foul mood. “We cannot afford _any_ delay in the delivery to Makus III!”

Jane spun and shot him a glare. “What do you want me to do? Turn around and leave my crew behind?”

“You shouldn’t have sent them out in the first place!”

He was right and she knew it, but not for the reasons he stood for. Jane had suspected the phenomena to be dangerous and hadn’t wanted to send her crew into that danger, especially after what had happened to Gary. But there had been no choice; as Spock had reminded her before he’d left, it was their job to explore and investigate whatever they came across.

“Captain,” Uhura spoke up, “there is one planet in the system capable of sustaining human life. Taurus II. It’s unexplored and at the dead centre of the Murasaki effect.”

“Then that’s our best bet.” She turned to the helm. “Mr. Sulu, set course for Taurus II!”

“Aye, Captain.”

“And Chekov, stop sweating. Yeoman Landon will return safe and sound.”

“…Yes, Keptin. I know, Keptin.”

\---

“Uhura, anything?”

“Nothing, Captain. The quasar is disrupting communications.”

Jane sighed. She almost gave into the temptation to bite her lip, but refrained from doing so. She didn’t want to look worried in front of her crew, and in front of the Commissioner. She’d pissed him off enough as it was, she knew; the last thing she needed was him going back to the Admirals and ranting about how she’d been emotionally compromised.

“Keptin, transporters are non-functional; even if we could find zem, we could not beam zem back aboard,” said Chekov.

Jane nodded before opening the comm to the shuttle bay. “Kirk to shuttle bay. Prepare all shuttles for immediate departures to the surface of Taurus II for visual reconnaissance. Correlate coordinates with Mr. Chekov.”

“You really think that will work?”

Jane didn’t need to turn to know it was the Commissioner who had spoken; the doubt in his voice gave him away. “I won’t stop searching until the last possible second, Commissioner.”

“Very well,” he said. “But not one second more, is that understood? Because if it _isn’t_ , I suggest you look at Starfleet regulations. Book 19, section 33, paragraph 12. I will take command of this vessel if you do not follow your mission. I am certain this will be the case, because despite your brief tenure in Starfleet, you have already developed a reputation for neglecting protocol.”

Jane took in several deep breaths. She really wanted to punch this guy in the face. “Whatever my “reputation”, I won’t give up on my crew. And if all you’re going to do is lecture me, I suggest you leave the bridge.”

He did so, and Jane sighed with relief once he was gone. At least now she could focus on finding her missing crew in peace…and Spock. _Why do I keep thinking about just him? There’re others with him too!_

“Captain?” Jane looked up to find Sulu grinning at her. “If you wish, I could bring out my fencing sword and poke his rear end?”

She laughed. “Thanks for that, Sulu.”

\---

Hours went by. And with every minute that passed, Jane grew increasingly more worried. _God, Spock. If you don’t come back, I’m gonna kill you_. She then realized who’d she’d been thinking about – _again_ – and quickly shook her head before rising from her seat. “Any word from the re-con shuttles, Uhura?”

“Negative, Captain.”

Jane turned and found that the Commissioner was once again on the bridge. “You have twenty-four hours left, Captain. After that I will invoke my authority to order an immediate change of course to Makus II.”

“I appreciate the optimism, Commissioner, but I have faith in my crew,” she told him. “And I would also appreciate you not acting like my personal pocket watch and to wait out those next twenty-four hours in your quarters.”

He left once again, and Jane sat back down. “Uhura, do you have a minute?”

“Yes, why?”

“I’d like you to send a transmission to Admiral Pike. Tell him that I apologize in advance for yelling a string of colourful language at Commissioner Ferris.”

\---

“Your time is up, Captain Kirk.”

_Really? Twenty-four hours already?_ Jane wanted to speak out, but she knew she couldn’t and instead glared up at the Commissioner. _Do you not even care that my crew are still out there? Do you really expect me to abandon them?_

“We can no longer delay our rendezvous to deliver the medical supplies to Makus III. Remember that millions of lives depend on them. It grieves me to say that we must abandon our search for your lost crew. Mr. Spock in particular was an irreplaceable officer.”

Jane flinched a little, and hoped the Commission didn’t see it. “Fine. I’ll call in the last shuttle, and then we’ll be on our way. Mr. Sulu, set course for Makus III.”

The Commissioner nodded in satisfaction before walking away, and Jane sighed. She knew she couldn’t get her crew back without breaking the rules; she just needed to figure out the right way to do it. Upon seeing the hopeless expression upon Chekov’s face, she had an idea. “Mr. Chekov, walk with me. Lt. Riley, take over.” Chekov sent her a confused look, but nodded all the same and rose to his feet. Riley took his place.

Jane rose as well and made her way off the bridge, Chekov following. Neither of them said a word until they reached medical, and Jane found the second person she needed; Christine Chapel.

Jane had almost laughed when she’d discovered that the nurse was trying to gain the affection of Spock. She found it amusing mainly because Spock was fully aware of her feelings and was always embarrassed – or as embarrassed as a Vulcan could be – whenever she attempted to confront him about those feelings. Jane had asked her counterpart about the nurse, and apparently the Christine Chapel in the other reality had been the same.

“When she lost her fiancé, Christine turned her attentions on poor Spock,” she had explained. “She stopped when Spock and I became a couple, but I suspected that she never stopped loving him. My suspicions were proven correct when one day she tried to get him to fall in love with her using a love crystal – _after_ he and I were married!”

“Did it work?” the younger Jane had asked.

“Fortunately, it didn’t. The love crystal doesn’t work on those who are already in love with another. I had to transfer Christine from the _Enterprise_ after that. It was a shame; she was still a good friend and the best nurse the _Enterprise_ ever had.”

In this reality, however, Jane had actually encouraged Christine to try harder with Spock. Spock hadn’t been at all pleased.

“Nurse Chapel, may I have a word?” she requested.

The nurse left her post and walked into the hallway. “What is it, Captain?”

“And vhy am I here, too?” asked Chekov.

“Chekov, you have a girlfriend on that shuttle. And Christine, you like Spock. For those reasons, I want you both to listen very carefully.”

\---

Jane arrived back on the bridge, and after sitting herself in her chair, she began to count backwards. _3…2…1_.

“Captain!” Riley spoke up. “We have an emergency in the shuttle bay! One of the shuttles has been hijacked!”

Jane faked shock as she shot out of her seat. “Hijacked! By who?!”

“Chekov, Captain! Nurse Chapel is with him!”

“Damn, I’m not surprised,” said Jane, acting it up. She hoped the Commissioner was buying it. “He’s got a girlfriend out there and Christine likes Spock. Sulu, forget my orders to set a course for Makus III; we’re staying here.”

He smiled, and Jane suspected that he somehow knew about her plan. “Aye, Captain.”

“Captain Kirk! What do you think you're doing?!” yelled the Commissioner.

“Ensign Chekov and Nurse Chapel have commandeered a shuttle and are attempting a rescue mission alone,” Jane explained. “I’m not leaving them behind, too.”

“Commandeered? You mean _stolen_! I’ll see that they’re thrown out of Starfleet for this!”

Jane rose from her seat and faced him head on. “Really? Well, before you start quoting Starfleet regulations to my face, let me have a go. Article 7, section 23, lines 89 through 92: “In the event of the reassignment of command on a starship by a Starfleet Commissioner due to extraneous circumstances not involving dereliction of duty by the ship’s Captain, said Captain reserves the right, should subsequent events dictate, to resume command if it becomes necessary to ensure the safety of the ship and its crew”. I’ve lost my First Officer, my Chief Medical Officer, my Chief Engineer, and now my Chief Navigator and Head Nurse – not to mention _two_ shuttles, both vital to the full functioning of this starship.”

The Commissioner didn’t know what to say. “But…you never listen to the rules. How do you know that…?”

“Oh, I know all the rules and regulations, Commissioner,” said Jane. “I just choose to ignore them when I feel I need to. Because sometimes, doing the right thing means breaking a few rules. Now, I’m getting my crew back. You’re welcome to stay on the bridge and complain, but I advise against it. And if you attempt to dish out orders, know that my crew won’t listen to a word you say – because command is _mine_.”

\---

“Starfleet will hear about this, Captain Kirk-”

“They already _have_ ,” said Jane, as she and the Commissioner made their way along the _Enterprise_ ’s hallways. “I contacted Admiral Pike, and he replied back. He and Admiral Marcus want to have a rather interesting talk with you when you get back to Earth.” The Commissioner’s eyes widened. “Besides, Sulu said we’ll reach Makus III with time to spare.”

The Commissioner walked away, and Jane continued along to medical. When the door opened, she smiled at the sight; McCoy was already back to work, examining Scotty and the two other surviving crewmen, while Chekov was hugging Martha. Spock was being examined by Christine, looking uncomfortable.

He appeared to brighten up – as much as a Vulcan could, anyway – when he saw Jane, and he immediately rose from the bed to greet her. “Captain, Mr. Chekov and Nurse Chapel informed me of what you did. And I would like to say thank you.”

“There’s no need, Spock,” said Jane. “I got my crew back, and that’s all that matters.” But she was saddened by Latimer’s absence; he was the second guy who had been killed after she’d taken an interest in him. She knew that if it happened a third time, it would be no coincidence – that the universe itself was just as determined as their counterparts to see she and Spock together.

But that wasn’t all that bothered her; McCoy had informed her that Spock had almost jumped out of the shuttle in order to ensure that the rest of them made it back safely. He hadn’t even considered his life or the effect his death would have on anyone, which was unusual for someone as logical as him, even with his saying that the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few.

The fact that it bothered her so much came as a surprise to her, and she tried to shake the feeling away. “You don’t have to report to the bridge; go and rest in your quarters for a couple of hours.” He opened his mouth to object, but she sent him a stern look. “That’s an order, Spock.”

“Yes, Captain.” A hair fell out of place across his face, and without really thinking, Jane reached up and removed it. Her hand lingered there moments more than it should, and her eyes met with Spock’s…

She realized what she was doing and backed away, before leaving medical in a hurry. _Damn the other Spock! Damn the other me! Damn the universe!_

_Damn...everything!_


	5. King's Conscience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane's past is explored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on the Original Series episode 'The Conscience of the King', which wasn’t adapted into an alternate reality comic.

“I’m thinking about forbidding you from talking about the matter entirely.”

“But it’s all we talk about, therefore if you forbid the matter entirely then we will have nothing to talk about.”

Jane wanted to punch her counterpart. Hard, and in the face. “Now you sound like Spock.”

“I was married to him for years.” The elder Jane shrugged. “He rubbed off on me.”

Jane tried not to think about that. “Besides, we’ll still have things to talk about. Like, you know, what happened to you. Maybe you could warn me about everything?”

“I can’t warn you about _everything_ ,” said the elder Jane. “Some things may not even happen. And if I warn you about everything, you will learn nothing from your experiences. I’ll only warn you about the really serious matters; others you can handle yourself.”

“Well, it’s better than what you husband’s giving me, which is _nothing_.” Jane sighed. “And we need to figure out a way for you to contact me without me having to fall asleep. When my crew were trapped on Taurus II, I had no way to ask you about it; I couldn’t leave the bridge.”

The elder Jane smirked. “You were worried about Spock, weren’t you?”

“He’s still my First Officer and my friend.”

“But you weren’t worried in that way, were you?” When Jane sent the elder woman a glare, she held her hands up in defence. “I’m just saying. Remember that you’re me and I’m you; I know how you think. As for being able to contact you, I can try; during our marriage, Spock and I could telepathically talk to one another across the galaxy. The fact that I can’t do it with him now makes it even clearer that I’m…” She trailed off.

Jane forgot her annoyance and sent her elder counterpart a sympathetic look. “I could go to your Spock and ask him to mind-meld with me while I’m sleeping? The two of you can see each other.”

For a moment, the elder Jane looked hopeful…but then the sadness returned. “No. I couldn’t do that to him. He’s been through so much already, and you said he was assisting the Vulcans in building their new colony. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few; they need him more than I do. Besides, he always believed in the idea of letting go; seeing me again… No. It wouldn’t be right.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Jane admitted. In order to take her counterpart off the subject, she asked, “So about those really serious events?”

“Yes,” said the elder Jane. “Well, let’s see… Oh! Do you recall the massacre on Tarsus IV?”

Jane’s face darkened as repressed memories rose from deep within her. “I remember, all too well. We were there, remember?”

The elder Jane’s eyes widened. “You were _there?_ I was connected to the massacre because Kevin had been there, along with my childhood pen-pal, Thomas Leighton. How were _you_ there?”

“Well, it’s a long story… What the-?” They looked around them as the scene began to change, and Jane sent her counterpart a questioning look. “Are you doing that?”

But the elder Jane shook her head. “I think you are. Seems I’m not the only one who can do this.”

They both looked around them, and Jane sighed when she recognized the scene. It was night and they were in Iowa, not very far away from the farm house where Jane had grown up. She recalled the day like it was only yesterday; a police officer was stood by his bike, talking to Uncle Frank, while a twelve-year-old Jane was stood by her mother.

“So what happened here?” asked the elder Jane.

“It was a horrible day,” Jane explained. “This was the day when Sam left; he had an argument with Uncle Frank, and stormed out. Uncle Frank made me wash Dad’s car, but when I found out he wanted to sell it behind Mom’s back, I drove away in it. That police officer chased me, one thing led to another, and I ended up driving it over a cliff. I was able to jump out just in time.”

She then gestured to the four people as the scene began to play.

“What do you mean “beyond repair”?!” Frank yelled.

“A recovery crew is gathering the pieces of the car from the ravine now, sir,” said the officer. “But there is not enough left to restore it to its previous condition.”

“Maybe that’ll teach you to try selling the car behind Mom’s back!” the child-Jane spoke up.

Winona’s eyes widened. “Frank-”

“She’s lying, like she always does!” Frank denied.

“No, I’m not!” The child-Jane turned to her mother. “And I can even give you the number of the guy he was trying to sell it to! Mom, Uncle Frank’s horrible! We never said so before because we knew you didn’t have a choice, but I can’t take it anymore! He’s the reason Sam left, and if you leave me with him again _I’ll_ leave, too!”

“Jane, shut up! You little piece of-!” He raised his hand to slap her, but Winona grabbed his wrist before he could and punched him, instead.

“Officer, I’m sure you’ve seen enough.” She pushed him at the officer, who didn’t waste time in taking out a pair of handcuffs and placing Frank under arrest. “Frank, when you come back from the station – if you even come back at all – Jane and I will be gone.”

The memory faded away, and Jane lowered her head to hide the tears that had begun to form in her eyes. Her counterpart placed a hand upon her shoulder. “You lived so harshly. It makes me thankful for what I had. I’m so sorry.”

Suddenly the scene began to change, and as it did Jane realized where they were going. “No… Please God, no. Make it stop!”

“I’m not doing anything,” said the elder Jane. “It appears to be you.”

Jane tried to send the memory away, but it was already too late. She, Thomas and Kevin were standing among four thousand other people listening to Governor Kodos.

“The revolution is successful. But survival depends upon drastic measures. Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. Your lives mean slow deaths to the valued members of the colony. Therefore, I have no alternative but to sentence you to death. Your execution is so ordered, signed Kodos, Governor of Tarsus IV.”

Then the phasers began to fire. People screamed as they were killed; men, women, children… Kevin screamed at the sight of his parents being murdered before him, and the child-Jane was able to yank him to the floor. Then the two of them and Thomas – who’s face had been hit and was bleeding – crawled away and were met with six others from their class; Eric, Jack, Rose, Henry, Katie and May. The child-Jane took command of them instantly, and instructed them to cover themselves in blood and pretend to be dead…

But Jane wasn’t watching them. She was watching the four thousand people being murdered, and it took her moments to figure out that one of the screams echoing throughout the building was her own. Then her counterpart grabbed her, trying to get her to listen.

“Kodos lives! His name is Anton Karidian, founder of the Karidian Acting Troop! Find him!”

“ _Jane! Jane!_ ” Jane looked around her, trying to find the one who was calling out to her. The voice sounded like…Spock?

Suddenly she was awake, her face wet from both sweat and tears. Spock was sat beside the bed, giving her a worried look. “Jane, what was it?”

Jane took in several deep breaths, calming herself. “It was just a nightmare.”

“May I ask what it was about?” he questioned. “I understand that humans talk about their nightmares in order to help understand them, and to assure themselves that it was not real.”

His analysis made her smile, if only a little. “You recall the massacre of Tarsus IV?” He nodded. “I was there when it happened.” And then his eyes widened slightly, as much as a Vulcan’s could. “I was among those sentenced to death, but I escaped with eight other kids.”

“You are one of the nine who can identify Kodos.”

She nodded. “As is Kevin Riley. And the nightmare told me something else.” She walked over to the computer and sat down at the screen. “Computer, bring up a picture of Anton Karidian of the Karidian Acting Troop.” The computer searched for a few moments before bringing up a picture of an ageing man dressed in a Shakespearian costume. He looked different, but Jane could see the resemblance. “And now bring up a picture of Kodos the Executioner. Place the pictures side by side.” The computer did as asked, bringing up the younger, red-headed Kodos.

With the pictures side by side, there was no denying it.

“The resemblance…” Spock realized.

“Mr. Spock, have Lt. Uhura contact Starfleet command immediately,” Jane ordered. “I think we’ve found the missing Kodos.”

\---

“Captain, is it wrong that I want to kill him?”

Jane sent Kevin Riley a reassuring look. “Maybe, but it’s understandable after what he did. He will be placed on trial, and because of what he did, he will be executed anyway. He will die, and is it not more satisfying for him to die lawfully than by your hand?”

Kevin nodded in understanding. “I guess so. And my parents would want that, too.”

The _Enterprise_ arrived in orbit of Tarsus IV, where it had been agreed for the trial to take place. When Jane had contacted Starfleet about her claim, they had tracked down Anton instantly. Then, upon contacting all the eyewitnesses, and all of them confirming that Anton was Kodos, he was arrested and taken to Tarsus IV. Jane knew that the trial was just a formality; none of them really expected for Kodos to come out of it alive.

She, Riley, Spock and McCoy beamed down from the _Enterprise_ , and upon arrival Jane was met with seven familiar faces along with an extra face she didn’t recognize, although she guessed this extra woman was Thomas’s wife, Martha.

“Jane! Kevin!” Thomas Leighton greeted the two of them enthusiastically. The left half of his face – the half which had been hit during the massacre – was covered with a dark mask, including his eye. “So good to see you two again, although I only wish we could have met up under…better circumstances.” He gestured to the woman stood next to him. “This is my wife, Martha. Martha, this is Jane Kirk and Kevin Riley.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Martha,” said Jane. “Everyone, this is my First Officer, Mr. Spock, and my Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Leonard McCoy. Men, this is Thomas Leighton, Eric Molson, Jack Calvert, Rose Dawson, Henry Malrose, Katie Burns and May Moss.”

“Make that Rose Calvert, Katie Molson and May Malrose,” said Rose.

“Yeah, I heard that the six of you were married,” said Jane. “Congratulations.”

“If anyone should be offering congratulations, it should be us,” said Eric. “Look at you, Captain of the _Enterprise_.”

Jane smiled. “I’ll brag about it later. Right now we need to make a move, if I understand.”

“Yes, this way.” Thomas led the way along the hallways of the court building, and the others followed.

“Jane, you and Kevin need to find yourselves someone,” said Katie, as they walked. “You could marry each other like the rest of us?”

“I’ll pass,” said Jane. “Kevin’s great, but we’re not interested in each other in that way.”

Katie looked behind at where her husband Eric was talking to Spock. “That Vulcan First Officer of yours is good-looking. What about him?”

Jane almost snapped at her; it was bad enough having both counterparts and apparently _the entire universe_ wanting them together. She didn’t want to add Katie to the list. “Spock’s like a computer. And he takes that comparison as a _compliment_.”

They arrived in the main courtroom and sat themselves down in the seats allocated to them. They then rose when the Admiral proceeding over the case entered, before sitting again after he had done the same. Kodos was brought into the room moments later, and Jane placed a hand upon Kevin’s shoulder in order to calm him.

“Governor Kodos of Tarsus IV, you are charged with the slaughter of almost four thousand people. What do you plead?”

“Guilty.”

This confused Jane. The man had been in hiding for years, and yet, he pleads guilty? Upon seeing his expression, he realized that he appeared genuine in this; he looked truly remorseful for what he’d done.

“Captain Jane T. Kirk, please step forwards.” Jane left her seat and sat upon the psychotricorder chair, placing the palm of her hand upon the glowing circle at the end of the right arm rest. “Captain Kirk, we understand that you were among the nine survivors who are able to identify Governor Kodos.”

“I am.”

“In the report, it says that you took charge of the eight others during the massacre; you told them to cover themselves in blood and lie still, before you all escaped into the surrounding forests.”

“That is correct.”

“It says here that you were the one who contacted Starfleet and informed them that Kodos had taken the identity of Anton Karidian. How did you find out about this?”

Jane paused for only a second; she knew that if she lied, the chair would know and alert everyone. But she couldn’t exactly tell everyone the truth. She decided that a half-truth would be her best bet; the chair usually couldn’t detect those. “I saw it in a nightmare. I know that sounds hard to believe, but it’s true.” Technically, it was. “I was reliving the memory of the massacre. But then a voice gave me the name Anton Karidian. When I woke up I searched for a picture of him. Comparing his picture to a picture of Kodos, I realized he was the same man.”

The chair didn’t beep, and Jane concealed her relief. The Admiral nodded. “Thank you, Captain Kirk. You may go back to your seat.”

Jane got up and walked over to the others, but before she sat down the courtroom door burst open; a young, blonde girl hurried inside, looking no older than eleven.

“I’ve come to rescue you, Papa!” She was looking directly at Kodos.

The man's eyes widened. “Lenore!”

The girl then produced a phaser and aimed it straight at Jane. “You had them take my Papa away!” She fired.

“Jane!” Jane was suddenly tackled to the floor, and the wall behind her was hit. Upon sensing the sudden emotion of fear that was not her own, Jane realized that it was Spock who had tackled her. She turned to see him clutching her tightly as he kept her pinned to the floor.

She then heard more screams, the last one belonging to the girl. “Spock, let me up.” He did so reluctantly, and the two climbed to their feet before seeing what had happened.

Kodos lay dead in the centre of the room, with a screaming Lenore knelt beside him. Henry and May clutched each other nearby.

“He…he leapt in front of them,” Kevin said in shock. “The girl fired at Henry and May, and Kodos saved them. Why?”

Jane made the realization. “He plead guilty, Kevin. He was sorry for what he had done, and didn’t want any more blood on his hands.”

\---

Hours later, Jane sat in her quarters with the white chess piece in her hand. While her thoughts lingered on what had happened, she was focussed upon one moment in particular – Spock pinning her to the floor. She was his Captain, and usually she would have written up his actions as duty.

But she had felt the emotion; the fear of losing her as he clutched her tightly… It was the same fear he had felt when Vulcan had been destroyed; when he’d almost lost his mother.

Her door chimed, and Jane quickly hid the chess piece before it slid opened. It was Spock. “Captain, I came to check on you.”

“I’m fine, Spock,” she assured him. “I’ve been through worse. How’s Kevin?”

“He is well,” said Spock. “I also came to inform you that Lenore Karidian was sent to Tarsus IV’s Junior Insane Institution. From what doctors can understand, she only recently discovered her father’s past which drove her to insanity. She will be looked after.”

“Good.” Jane sighed; it wasn’t right for children to experience horrors like what had happened on Tarsus IV, as she knew first hand. What had happened to Lenore only solidified that.

“The others have left for their respective home worlds.” Spock sat down next to her at the table. “Captain…Jane…I apologize if I seem forwards, but I would like to mind-meld with you.”

Jane raised a questioning eyebrow. “May I ask why?”

“It is something my father advised me to do after the destruction of Vulcan,” he said. “I could mind-meld with someone who had experienced a similar tragedy. When you are alone with your memories, it makes you _feel_ alone. But when you experience a memory with one who knows – someone who has experienced similar to you – it makes you stronger.”

What he said made sense, and Jane found herself nodding before moving her chair closer to him. All thoughts of her counterpart and everything to do with her were pushed to the back of her mind, to try and stop Spock from seeing them, and she covered them with memories of Tarsus IV. Spock reached out his hand and placed it upon her face. Jane closed her eyes at the same moment he did, and memories began to play out before them as if she was reliving them again.

Kodos before her, announcing the deaths of four thousand…she and the other children hiding among the bodies of those who had died…their escape into the forests around the colony…the arrival of the rescue ships…how she’d run into her mother’s arms, sobbing…

_Such fear_ , she heard Spock say in her mind. _You were only a child_.

Then the memory changed, and Jane found herself seeing things from Spock’s point of view. First as a young boy; hugging his mother, being taunted by other Vulcan children, the day he snapped and attack one, the talk his father gave him afterwards…

_That day I stood up for you, I saw the hurt in your eyes_ , said Jane in her mind. _From your expression, I knew you had been taunted before. But I didn’t realize how hard you had it_. Just seeing what he had to grow up with for being half-Human, feeling his emotions… She didn’t know what else to say.

And then came the day of Vulcan’s destruction. It felt weird seeing herself through his eyes. She saw him run inside the cave for his parents…felt his relief at seeing them both OK…then they were running out, avoiding the falling rocks…and then they were outside…and then Amanda began to fall and Jane saw herself grabbing the woman…

Then there was the fear – the same fear she had felt when Spock had grabbed her hand, and then when he had pinned her down on the floor in the courtroom.

The connection broke, and Jane gasped as Spock’s emotions left her. It still shocked her how such a logical race could feel such strong emotions, far stronger than that of humans. She took a minute to get her breath back before looking at him again; she felt his dark eyes on her.

“That… I have no words,” she said. “But those boys… I feel the urge to punch them. Happen to have their addresses?”

“You would not be able to now,” he said. “All but one of them died in the tragedy. Despite what they put me through when I was a boy, I mourned for them. The survivor approached me afterwards and apologized for his behaviour; he said that his tauntings had been illogical of him, and then he thanked me for not only saving the members of the High Council, but for being there to sound the alarm. Many Vulcans were able to beam to safety because of this, including himself and his wife who had been pregnant at the time.” He rose from his seat and began to leave.

“Spock.” He stopped and turned to her again, and for a moment Jane didn’t know what to say to him. “Just… Thank you, for saving me.”

“There is no need, Jane. My Captain is alive, and that is all that matters.” Before she could respond, he left. 


	6. Operation to Annihilate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane reunites with someone from her past...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on the Original Series episode 'Operation: Annihilate'; or rather, the alternate reality comic version. Like in the comic, the deleted scene from the film about Kirk’s brother is canon. The chapter also makes a reference to the Original Series episode 'The Mark of Gideon'.

“You saw his past, didn’t you?”

Jane didn’t bother to ask how the elder counterpart had known. “Yeah. It’s no massacre, but it was still hard for him. Being something people hated, and being unable to change himself in order to get them to leave him alone.”

“I remember when he showed me those memories,” said Jane. “I was still pregnant with Amanda; it was close to her birth, actually. We’d gone to Vulcan in order to prepare for the birth, and I noticed that the other Vulcans looked down upon him. He performed a mind-meld with me in order to explain. Everything just made sense; all his life he was looked down upon for being half-human…so he tried to become fully Vulcan. He purged his emotions, reacted coldly towards humans… In my reality he was far worse than your Spock.”

“Ouch.” Jane flinched. “Which only backs up my doubts about the whole ‘he and I get together’ thing. Oh, which reminds me.” She gave her counterpart a good hit on the shoulder.

The elder Jane looked surprised as she gave her shoulder a rub. “Can I ask what that was for?”

“That one was for you, for not warning me about the Governor’s crazy daughter,” said Jane. “And I’d like you to pass on that hit to the universe, as well; I had to turn down Kevin’s offer of a date because of it!”

“Why?” The older woman looked confused. “And why did he ask you out? He was never interested in me. He ended up marrying Uhura, actually.”

“Wait, really?” Jane raised an eyebrow in question before she shook her head. “Don’t change the subject. I accepted Gary’s offer, and he goes batshit eight years earlier than he should. I showed interest in Lt. Latimer, and he gets killed by giant ape men with spears.”

“Technically Latimer died in my timeline, too.”

“Well, excuse me, Miss Know-It-All.”

“That’s Mrs. Know-It-All to you. Recall I’m a married woman.”

“How could I forget? Your husband’s a true Mr. Know-It-All.”

“It’s fun having my sense of humour thrown back at me. If a little annoying.”

“Just shut up!” Jane yelled. “It’s clear that whenever I show interest in a guy who isn’t Spock, the universe kills them off! I didn’t want to make Kevin the third, so I turned him down.”

“Did you show interest in him before?”

“No, but that’s beside the point.” She ignored her counterpart’s knowing look. “Why can’t the universe just leave me alone and let me get on with my life, how I want to live it?!”

“If my theory is correct, I don’t think it will,” said the elder Jane. “One thing is changed, and nothing is the same again. And yet the same crew end up on the _Enterprise_ , in more or less their same positions, with similar events happening to them. I think the universe is trying to righten itself again, including the relationship between you and Spock.”

“Do you want me to go back to you saying he purged his emotions in order to forget his humanity…or something like that?”

The elder Jane sighed. “Buckle up.”

“Oh no, not _another_ field trip to the past!” But they were already going, and the scene changed to the Captain’s quarters. A young man was lying on the bed, obviously dying, and the memory-Jane – pregnant, Jane realized – was yelling at a well-dressed humanoid.

“This was a weird incident,” said the elder Jane. “We were supposed to engage in negotiations with the planet Gideon, but something wasn’t right. Only I was allowed to beam down, but when I did, I found myself on the _Enterprise_ again. But it was empty. I discovered one other person, Odon – the man lying on the bed – and for a while we just aimlessly wandered. I eventually realized that the ship was fake and had been built on the planet.”

Jane blinked in surprise, looking around her; the quarters looked real enough. “But why?”

“An experiment,” the elder counterpart explained. “Gideon was a paradise world; no one died. Eventually this caused over-population, and its high council decided they needed to introduce a virus to the world – a virus from me. As you can see, Odon caught it, but that wasn’t enough; they wanted me to stay on the planet and spread the virus.”

“So what’s this got to do with Spock?”

Suddenly there was a loud crash outside the door, interrupting the argument between the memory-Jane and the well-dressed man. “What is that?” asked the man.

“That,” said the memory-Jane with a smile, “is the sound of an angry Vulcan attempting to take back his pregnant bondmate.”

Then the door was smashed open and Spock charged in; he almost attacked the well-dress man, but the memory-Jane stopped him in time. Spock calmed down at the sight of her alive and well and their foreheads touched in reunion. The memory then faded away, and the two Janes were back on the empty bridge of the _Enterprise_.

Jane had no words to describe what she’d just witnessed. “Did he just…?”

“Yes,” said the elder Jane. “Like the memory me just said; never take away a Vulcan’s pregnant bondmate. It doesn’t end well. Not to mention he violated Starfleet orders to come and get me.”

“OK, Spock _never_ violates Starfleet.”

“He did that time.” She smiled. “After we experienced the mind-meld later, he told me that his childhood was the reason he ignored his human half; he said many times that whenever he felt friendship with the crew, he felt ashamed. That changed, he said…because of me.”

\---

“Uhura, are you picking up anything?”

“Negative, Captain,” said Uhura. “No response from any of the stations on Deneva. I’ll keep trying.”

Jane sighed. This was the fourth of several planets they’d tried contacting. “Theories, Spock?”

“As I suspected, Captain, the overall pattern of mass insanity on several remote planets follows an almost straight path, Deneva being the next,” Spock explained. “Beta Portalon, Levinius V, Theta Cygni XII… A centuries-old, yet systematic progression.”

“Wish I had a theory for this,” said McCoy. “There’s no known medical cause for what happened on those planets.”

That’s when Sulu spoke up. “Captain! Sensors are picking up a ship heading directly into the Denevan sun!”

Jane immediately sat down in her chair. “Plot an interception course, Mr. Sulu! Warp factor eight! Uhura, try to contact the ship!”

“Aye, Captain.”

“Sensors indicate that it is a one-man Denevan vessel,” said Spock. “There are no apparent malfunctions, but its course is set straight for the heart of the sun. And it is out of range of our tractor beams.”

“Captain, I’ve made contact,” Uhura announced.

“Denevan ship, this is the _USS Enterprise_. Can you reverse your course?” Jane demanded. All she heard in response was static. “Denevan ship, do you copy? Acknowledge!”

Then words came through. “ _I’m free! It’s finally gone!_ ” The transmission cut out.

“Contact broken, Captain,” said Uhura.

“Captain, the ship burned up,” Sulu reported. “He’s gone.”

Jane sighed. She hated it whenever she couldn’t save someone. “Sulu, get us to Deneva immediately. That guy flew into the sun deliberately, and I want to know why.”

“The most obvious answer to that, Jane, is insanity,” said McCoy.

\---

Jane headed towards the transporter room with Spock and McCoy. There she met up with Landon, Lemli and Leslie. She nodded to Kyle, who nodded back, before she contacted the bridge. “Anything, Chekov?”

“ _Sensors indicate zee expected number of life signs on zee surface, Keptin. But ve are still unable to make contact vith any of zem._ ”

“Keep checking. We’ll report back as soon as we find anything.” Jane then took her place on the pad with the five others before they beamed down. As Jane suspected, the Denevan city was abandoned. “Stay alert. Phasers on stun.”

“Can’t complain about the atmosphere,” McCoy muttered. “Better weather than the best of Earth has to offer.”

“There’s almost a million inhabitants on Deneva, so where are they?” Jane questioned.

Spock answered her question seconds later. “Captain, it appears that at least some of them have found _us_.” Jane turned and saw what he meant: several men were running towards them, sticks raised and ready to attack.

“Intruders!”

“Phasers ready!” Jane commanded. She fired a stun blast at one, knocking him out. The other members of the crew did the same until all the Denevan’s were laying on the ground. McCoy knelt to scan them.

“Did you hear how they sounded?” Jane asked her First Officer.

“Indeed. A single word, repeated as if all individual thought had been erased.”

“Jane,” McCoy spoke up, “their nervous systems… Unconscious like this, there should just be routine autonomic activity, but…it’s like they’re being violently stimulated, even while they’re out cold.” He rose to his feet. “I’ll need to do some more tests back on the ship.”

There was a sudden scream. “Did you hear that?” asked Landon.

“It appeared to be coming from the nearest building,” said Spock. He walked towards said building, and Jane followed with the rest of the crew. Upon opening the door they came across stairs leading down. “More life signs coming from below. I cannot get an exact reading on how many…”

“Phasers ready,” ordered Jane, before she led the way down. It was when they were in the maintenance tunnels that a woman leapt out of nowhere, screaming.

“Help me! They’re in my head! They’ll get you too unless you kill me!”

Lemli and Leslie aimed their phasers at her. “Captain-”

“Hold your fire,” said Jane, before nodding at McCoy. He injected her, knocking her out.

“We should get her to the ship,” said McCoy. “I can examine her there.”

“Lemli, Leslie, take her up to the surface and beam her back to the ship,” Jane ordered the two security officers. “Get her to sickbay and alert Dr. M’Benga and Nurse Chapel to prepare for more casualties.”

The two men nodded before picking the woman up between them and carrying her the way they’d come.

“The woman referred to “them”. A most curious reference,” said Spock. “As if her illness is not a disease but a sentient threat.”

Jane nodded. “We’ll continue on until we can find what…caused…this?” She froze at the sight before her. Pink cell organisms with short tentacles were stuck to the walls all around the room. “Great. Weird crap. How come _we’re_ the ones who always get this stuff? Spock, you better be able to work out what these things are.”

“An unknown life form,” he informed. “Most likely connected to the strange behaviour of the inhabitants on this planet.”

Suddenly one of the creatures leapt from the wall and covered Spock's head, causing him to fall backwards.

“Spock!” Jane was by his side in an instant, her heart racing with worry as she attempted to scratch the life form off his head. _No, no, no, no, no! Please, no! Not Spock!_ “Bones, get over here! He’s alive, but he’s unconscious.”

“Captain, more men are coming!” Jane looked up at Landon, who had drawn her phaser and had it aimed down the hallway.

Jane didn’t waste time in grabbing Spock and supporting him on her shoulder, McCoy supporting his other side. He was heavy, but Jane ignored the weight as they ran down the hallway with Landon behind them, firing her phaser at their attackers. “Kirk to _Enterprise_! Come in!” There was no reply. “Dammit, there’s too much interference! We need to get topside!”

More attackers suddenly appeared in front of them, but before Jane could aim her phaser at them, a panel in the floor opened and a smoke bomb was thrown out. It clouded the eyes of the attackers. “Hurry! Down here!” said a voice.

McCoy climbed down first, and Jane lowered Spock down to him before following herself. Landon was the last down, and closed the panel behind them.

“Follow me,” said the stranger. “I know another path to the surface.”

Jane reluctantly looked up from where Spock lay…and froze. “Sam?”

Samuel G. Kirk looked just as surprised as she was. “Jane?”

\---

“I heard the news, Jane, but I couldn’t believe it. A Starfleet Captain, just like Dad. Janey-”

“Don’t call me that,” said Jane. She and her brother were alone in the DSS Room. “You’re to address me as ‘Captain’.”

Sam sighed. “I know you’re angry, Jane. I never meant to hurt you when I left. But I just couldn’t live there anymore, you know that. And I would have taken you with me if Mom-”

“Don’t talk about her!” Jane snapped. “You lost that right a long time ago! The same day you lost the right to call me “Janey”. And it’s not just leaving itself; you never tried to contact us. Mom was worried sick about you; she had no idea where you’d gone. And while I’d love to berate you more for what you’ve done, I don’t have time. My First Officer is in surgery to save him from whatever it was that invaded your colony, and to make matters worse, a force field has been released from somewhere down there which is shutting down the ship’s impulse drive, and my Chief Engineer has no idea how to fix it.”

“Janey-”

“ _Captain._ ” She thumped her hand down onto the table. “Not to mention there’s a million colonists down there who are in danger of going insane and killing each other. You and I have nothing more we need to talk about.” She turned to leave.

“Captain, wait.” The fact that he’d called her that made Jane turn to him again. “There’s something I haven’t told you. Those colonists still trapped down there…my wife is one of them. And so is your nephew.”

Jane stared at him. “…What?”

“I regret not making contact with you, sis,” said Sam. “Mainly because I never got the chance to tell you that you became an aunt. His name’s Peter, and he’s only eight years old. I was cut off from him and my wife when everything went to hell. My best guess is that they’re still in our house. I was unable to reach them when I became trapped underground. Please…I need to get down there…”

Jane's comm beeped. “ _Captain, I need you in sickbay! It’s Spock!_ ”

“I’m on my way.” She turned back to Sam. “I have the colony under quarantine, Sam. You can’t go back down there. Trust me; I’ll do everything I can for Peter and your wife.”

She left him and ran off down the halls, arriving in sickbay faster than she’d ever reached it before. She tried to ignore the fact that it was the thought of Spock in pain which had made her run quickly.

“Bones, what happened?” she demanded upon arrival.

“When I finally got the damn thing off him, he started frothing at the mouth! Hold him down until he calms!” McCoy ordered, as he struggled to hold Spock down.

Jane did so, and Spock calmed in minutes. “Where’s the organism?” she asked.

“Secure,” said McCoy. “A couple of cuts and it popped right off. I think it’s dead, but I wouldn’t know; I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Then Spock began to mutter. “I am Vulcan…no pain…”

Jane sat on the bed beside him. “Easy, Spock.” She knew what he was doing; if a Vulcan concentrated, he could ignore the pain of an injury. “You were in agony. You seem fine now, though.”

He opened his eyes to look at her. “Indeed, Captain. Pain is a simple thing of the mind, and the mind can be controlled.”

“That’s your Vulcan half. What about your human one?” she asked.

“In this case it still proves to be something of an…inconvenience.”

Jane sighed, recalling what her counterpart had told her; about Spock thinking little of his human half. “There’s nothing inconvenient about being part human. Just be still.”

He nodded. “My ordeal, I feel, has provided us with at least a clue as to the nature of the problem afflicting the colony. While the creature was attached to me, I could feel it as it attempted to influence my mind. This may explain the irrational behaviour of the colonists; I could sense the creature trying to tell me to act on its behalf. It wanted me to take over the ship; to transport them to another planet to spread.”

“Well, that’s certainly a new way for aliens to invade.” Jane shrugged.

Her comm beeped. “ _Captain, it’s Lemli! Emergency in the transporter room!_ ”

“I’m on my way!” While she was reluctant to leave Spock, she knew she had to. Jane hurried through the hallways once more before arriving in the transporter room, finding poor Kyle on the floor with Lemli and Leslie by his side. “What happened?”

“The security footage shows Lt. Kyle being ambushed from behind,” said Leslie. “He was knocked out with hypospray.”

“Captain, it was your brother,” said Lemli. “He programmed the transporter’s controls to beam himself down to the surface.”

Jane sighed, but she wasn’t surprised. Her brother had always been determined and rash. “Send me to those same coordinates.”

Neither officer argued against her, and did as ordered once she was on the pad. Upon beaming down, she found herself inside a house, and realized it was most likely Sam’s. “Sam? Where are you?” She was momentarily distracted by a holo-pic of her parents before hearing a call for help. “Sam!”

She hurried down the stairs into the basement, and after firing upon and killing several of the pink creatures, she finally found her brother. He was knelt next to his wife and son, both of whom had creatures on their heads.

“Janey, please…help us.”

Jane knelt next to him and took out her comm. “Kirk to _Enterprise_! Four to beam directly to sickbay!”

“ _Cap’n, this is Scotty. The interference from the planet has increased, and I canne guarantee we can beam you back safely! The good news is that Mr. Spock has come up with a solution to get rid of the little bastards! Mr. Chekov and I rigged a satellite array to flood the city with ultraviolet waves-_ ”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Just beam us out, Scotty! You can tell me all about it later!”

\---

Jane smiled when her nephew finally woke up. “Hey, champ. I’m Captain Jane Kirk of the _USS Enterprise_. I’m your aunt.” Peter smiled, before his parents approached to give him a hug. Jane stepped back and was joined by McCoy. “How’s Spock?”

“Fine now.” He gestured to where the Vulcan sat on another bed. “Turns out Vulcans have this inner eyelid which took most of the light he blasted himself with. M’Benga said it should repair itself.”

Jane nodded before approaching Spock…and slapping his arm. “You idiot!”

Spock gave her a confused look. “Captain, I am uncertain why you have used the human term ‘idiot’ as I believe I am far from its meaning, and I am also uncertain why you have hit me.”

“You tried that experiment without even knowing what would happen!” she informed. “You almost went _blind_ , Spock! And it’s not just that; recall that you almost jumped out of that shuttle back on Taurus II _and_ you pushed me out of the way on Tarsus IV. I’m grateful for the latter, but you could’ve been killed.”

“I do not understand your meaning.”

“Dammit, Spock, do I have to spell it out?” She resisted the urge to slap his arm again. “I’m _worried_ about you! You’re suddenly taking risks, like you’re not thinking them through. That’s not you.” Then she remembered the mind-meld they had shared…the pain he had felt when his home had been destroyed… “Is this about Vulcan?”

“If you are implying that my judgement is somehow still impaired as a result of the loss of my home world, I believe I have demonstrated in the months since that-”

“Spock.” She laid a hand upon his, shutting him up. “Right after it happened, you didn’t think your plan through, to regroup with the fleet. It’s OK that you’re still grieving, but you need to understand that life goes on; _your_ life. You can’t just needlessly throw it away like you seem to be doing, no matter how noble your motivation.”

Spock stared at her, as if trying to understand what she was saying…before looking away and rising to his feet. “I am sorry, Captain. I do not fully understand your concerns. I will endeavour to alleviate them as circumstances require.”

And with that he left medical, without even so much as a glance behind him. Jane just stood on the spot, unsure what to think and what to do. _Did my counterpart have difficulty with him? Wait, why am I even thinking about that?_

She felt her brother come up beside her. “So is that your boyfriend?”

A glare silenced him. 


	7. Journey to Romulus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected threat emerges...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on a story arc in the comics; this arc isn’t based on an Original Series episode. Also, the F-bomb gets dropped several times at the end.

“Why is he so difficult?”

“Because he’s half-Vulcan. They seem to embrace being difficult.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Come on, even you have to admit that taking these risks isn’t like him.”

The elder Jane sighed. “He took risks…but not like this. I agree with you; he appears to still be grieving for the loss of his home world. All you can do is wait for him to snap himself out of it.” Then she smirked. “The fact that you care says a lot.”

“I don’t care in _that_ way!” Jane denied. “He’s still my friend.”

“Did you give that chess piece back to him?”

Jane bit her lip, and the elder counterpart’s smirk widened. “Well…he didn't _ask_ for it back…and when I played him the other day, the piece had been replaced.”

“Put it on a necklace. That’s what I did.” She brought said necklace out from under her uniform, and Jane saw that the white chess piece was attached to it. “But that aside, I’m glad you were reunited with Sam and his family. In my reality, things didn’t end so well; Sam and his wife died, and I had to send Peter to live with his mother’s parents. Then when _they_ died, Peter came to live with me on the _Enterprise_. Amanda was four at the time.”

“That could have happened,” said Jane. “So we need to somehow figure out a way for you to contact me without me having to go to sleep, like I said before. I would have been able to solve that problem on Deneva a lot quicker, and it would’ve saved Spock from almost blinding himself.” The elder Jane went to open her mouth, but Jane interrupted. “Not another word. Just a friend, remember?”

“ _Captain. Captain, wake up._ ”

They both heard the voice, and the elder Jane smirked when she recognized it. “Looks like your man wants you.”

“ _Captain._ ”

Jane awoke to find Spock stood next to her bed. “What it is, Spock?”

“Captain, we have arrived at the subspace relay.”

Jane sighed, sitting up to put her boots on. “OK, I’m coming.”

\---

“What’ve we got?” Jane approached Uhura when she arrived on the bridge.

“The relay is inoperable, Captain,” she reported. “And judging from the damage, it wasn’t an accident.”

“Sabotage so close to the neutral zone…” Spock’s face changed to one of suspicion. “Romulans?”

“Whoever it was, they wanted to silence this sector,” said Jane. “Chekov, scan for any impulse or warp echoes nearby. If we’re lucky, whoever did this left us a trail to follow.” She sat down in her chair. “Why would the Romulans violate their own treaty with the Federation by attacking a sensor relay? Seems a little insignificant, given the Empire’s reputation.”

“Perhaps not so insignificant as it appears, Captain,” Spock spoke up. “Disabling a sensor relay prevents any subspace communication between ships. Should we find any further evidence of Romulan aggression, we would be unable to alert Starfleet without considerable delay.”

“Wonderful.”

“Keptin, I am picking up a vorp signature, but it doesn’t make sense,” Chekov reported. “It is from a Wulcan ship.”

“But there are no Vulcan ships in this sector,” said Spock.

“And yet…” Jane bit her lip. “Chekov, get me your best reading as to where that warp trail leads. Sulu, as soon as Chekov’s got a reading, get after it at maximum warp.”

“Yes, Keptin.”

“Aye, Captain.”

Jane nodded to them both as her thoughts swirled. She didn’t know why the Vulcans – if it really was a Vulcan ship – would attack a Federation subspace relay. But there was someone she knew who _would_ know. _Time to have another talk with Mrs. Spock_.

\---

“I know what’s going on. It started with the sensor relay, and the blame was placed on the Romulans.”

“Tell me all about it, and quickly. You don’t have much time.” Jane sat herself down at the helm of the empty _Enterprise_ , her eyes never leaving her counterpart.

“You see,” said the elder Jane, “all Vulcan’s are logical. They don’t let their emotions control them. But as you know with Spock’s past they can be…quite prejudice against other species. Such prejudice was directed at the Romulans.”

“For leaving them and embracing their savagery.”

The elder Jane nodded. “And while most Vulcans ignored the Romulans, others…weren’t so logical about it. They attempted to disguise themselves as Romulans and sneak onto the planet…before blowing it up. We were contacted by Sarek, who had discovered the plot and asked us to stop them.”

“Why? The Romulans are our enemies.”

“But such an action is an emotional one; it goes against everything the Vulcans stand for,” said the elder Jane. “And their actions would have killed billions of innocent lives. It was the wrong thing to do.” She sighed. “It’s clear now that due to Vulcan’s destruction in your time, the incident is happening earlier. You must stop them, no matter what they’ve done. At least for my Spock’s sake; he always wanted to bring peace between the Federation and the Romulans. This could be your chance to do so.”

“ _Captain._ ”

Jane awoke yet again to Spock. “We’ve arrived?”

He nodded, and Jane also noticed a look of curiosity in his eyes; he was most likely wondering why she was asleep in the middle of a crisis. But he didn’t voice his curiosity. “We must hurry to the transporter room. We have found not one but two Vulcan ships – and one is attacking the other.”

\---

When Jane beamed down with Spock, Lemli and Leslie, she took one look at the faceless attackers and fired. “Weapons down! Now!”

But instead, they ran.

“ _Keptin!_ ” said Chekov over the comms. “ _Ze other ship is preparing to leave! But vhy vould a Wulcan ship attack another Wulcan ship?_ ”

“The mystery can wait, Chekov! Just get a tractor beam on that ship!” Jane gave chase with Spock, Lemli and Leslie, and upon turning a corner she saw the attackers beaming out. “Stop right there!”

The last attacker held his phaser to a hooded Vulcan. “Lower your weapons or the Vulcan dies.”

“We’ve already got your ship in traction,” said Jane. “You’re not going away.”

“We shall see.” They both beamed away.

“ _Enterprise_ , beam us out of here!” Jane and the crew beamed back, before she and Spock returned to the bridge.

“Captain, we’re being hailed,” said Uhura.

“On screen.” Jane sat in her chair.

The masked humanoid from before appeared. “ _Hello again, Captain. It’s unfortunate that you interrupted our mission. We did our best to ensure privacy._ ”

“Who are you?” Jane demanded. If they really were Vulcans, she feared what Spock’s reaction would be. _He’s already taking risks. I don’t want him to have another excuse for doing so…_

“ _My name is not important,_ ” said the figure. “ _Only my mission matters. No doubt you thought your victory complete when you destroyed the Narada many months ago. Indeed, your victory over the ship and her Captain was complete…_ ” He removed his helmet…to reveal a bald head and a tattooed face, “ _…but not over her crew. Nero will be avenged_.”

Jane’s eyes widened. Her first thoughts flooded her mind; her counterpart had been wrong, Nero’s crew were still alive… But then she looked closely at the face, and realized that the tattoos were all wrong. She had seen them up close.

Memories of her short time on the _Narada_ flashed across her vision; Nero pouncing on her, recognizing her, saying he would deprive her of becoming the great woman she had been in the other reality, laughing as he announced that killing her would be the perfect revenge on Spock… _“I’ve taken his planet, and now I’ll take his T'hy'la!”_

The elder Spock had informed her of their marriage when she had asked him, much later, what that word meant.

Jane pushed the memory away, knowing there were more important matters to deal with, and recalled her counterpart telling her that the Vulcans disguised themselves. She had to admit, it was a very convincing disguise.

She played along. “I’m towing you and your crew back to Starfleet to face trial.”

“ _Not this time, Captain. This time you will return to your Starfleet and tell your masters that you were unable to prevent the war that will bring the Federation to its knees._ ” He held up a small sphere. “ _Do you know what this is, Captain? This is a containment vessel for Red Matter – the last drop of it in our universe. You have your Vulcan friends to thank for that. And now I will deliver it into the hands of the Romulan Empire, along with the plans they need to build a fleet of Naradas._ ”

“Keptin!” Chekov spoke up. “Somehow zey are deflecting our tractor beam! Zey are getting away!”

“ _If you attempt to engage us again, I will detonate the Red Matter and take you with us._ ” And with that, their ship went to warp.

\---

“I want answers.” Jane and Spock stood before a recovered Vulcan scientist, who was sat at a desk. “I’ve got a bunch of _Narada_ survivors in a Vulcan scout ship, attacking a Vulcan science vessel, in a sector of Space where there shouldn’t be _any_ Vulcan ships _at all_. I’ve also got a bunch of Vulcan scientists who were stunned – _not killed_ – by the attacking Romulans, which given my experience with these particular Romulans, isn’t their usual MO. And lastly – and you have _no idea_ how much I wish it was the _least_ – you managed to _re-create_ a drop of _Red Matter_. The _same Red Matter that destroyed your home world!_ So _talk_.”

Spock sent her an impressed look. “Captain, I have informed you before that it is difficult for a human to reason with a Vulcan. But I must say that you are doing an impressing job of it.”

And he was right, for the Vulcan scientist relented. “I do not know how any of the _Narada_ crew survived,” he said. “Nor do I know how they obtained a Vulcan scout ship. We were on a covert mission in this sector when the scout ship hailed us, asking for assistance. We believed them to be fellow Vulcans in distress. It was only after we lowered our shields and they beamed aboard that we learnt the truth. As to why their phasers were set on stun…that I do not know.”

“And what of this covert mission?” asked Spock.

It was a few moments before the Vulcan replied. “As you know, all Vulcan science vessels were sent back to Vulcan Space to collect any fragments of dust that remained of our home world. But when our ship was there, we discovered particles of Red Matter which still remained. Since it was dangerous we collected it and informed the Vulcan High Council. Our orders were to combine the recovered particles into a single small sample. I do not know why.” He looked down.

But Jane had a suspicion as to why. She placed both hands upon the table and gave the Vulcan scientist a chilling look. “I think I have the answers, and I think you know those answers but won’t tell us. Those attackers weren’t _Narada_ survivors, were they? They were disguised Vulcans.” The scientist looked startled, as did Spock. On the Vulcans, the expression looked odd. “That explains how they were able to get their hands on a Vulcan scout ship – and also explains why they only stunned you instead of killing you. As for your covert mission, I believe you were asked to re-create the Red Matter so those disguised Vulcans can go back to Romulus and destroy it. I would like you to confirm my suspicions as true, otherwise I’ll use you to test the airlocks of my ship.”

“A better alternative would be for you to restrain him while I force a mind-meld upon him,” Spock suggested. His eyes never left the Vulcan scientist, and Jane could tell he was desperate for his reply.

The Vulcan stared wide eyed at Jane before he looked down in shame. “It is true. I am ashamed of my actions for they are not logical, but after losing Vulcan…”

“It’s understandable to seek revenge,” said Jane. “But it’s also _wrong_.” She turned to Spock. “We need to go after that ship and stop them. And we can’t contact Starfleet about it without travelling out of the system, which would be a waste of time.”

“Captain, if you are suggesting that we cross into the neutral zone in pursuit and enter Romulan Space without first seeking Starfleet approval, I have no objection,” said Spock. “While I also grieve for the loss of my home, I know that revenge, as you said, is wrong. But I must ask how you knew they were Vulcans and not Romulans?”

“Their tattoos,” said Jane. Technically it wasn’t a lie. “They were all wrong. I saw those guys up close, remember?”

“As did I, Captain,” said Spock. “And while I can see the difference now, I did not know before because I did not know what to look for. I conclude that somehow, you knew before the attack.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “We don’t have time for this, Spock. We need a plan.”

“I have one. But you will not like it.”

\---

He’d been right. Jane _didn’t_ like it, and wondered if the counterparts had come up with the same idea – and if her counterpart hadn’t liked it, either.

“I still don’t know why you need your Chief Medical Officer on this little hunting party of yours, Jane,” McCoy spoke up.

Jane tried not to smile at her friend’s annoyance. “You’re here so the mission looks more humanitarian and less like an act of war. Just you, me, Lemli, Leslie, and our prisoner.” She nodded over to where Spock sat, disguised as a Romulan with his helmet on.

“Captain!” Lemli called from the shuttle’s helm. “I’m picking up multiple contacts! They know we’re here!”

“Hail them.” Jane sighed, trying to find the right words as the channel opened. “This is Captain Jane T. Kirk of the Federation starship _Enterprise_. We come in peace. Our incursion into the neutral zone is not intended as an act of aggression. We come to warn you of an imminent threat to your Empire. Disguised Vulcans have stolen a weapon of unmatched power from Federation Space and are now making their way to your home world in an attempt to detonate it and destroy Romulus. We have one of them in custody and request your assistance in apprehending the others.”

There was silence for a moment. Until…

“Captain, they’re pulling us in!” Lemli reported.

Jane sighed. _Typical_.

When the shuttle was in the ship, Jane and the crew were led away by Romulan security and brought before a commander.

“This encounter is historic as it is unexpected,” he said. “And also unwelcome. Do you truly expect us to believe that you violated our treaty because you had our best interests at heart?”

“Well, that’s just typical. Romulans can’t comprehend good intentions,” said Jane. “I’m telling you the truth. The fact that we surrendered immediately should prove to you that our intentions are of goodwill.”

“A half-truth is no different than a lie, which is what you have told me.” He turned to a Romulan. “Guard, take their prisoner to the infirmary. Make sure he has been unharmed, and if he is injured tend to him before you debrief him.” Once the guard and the disguised Spock were gone, the commander turned back to Jane. “We already intercepted the “Vulcans”, as you call them. They are Romulans; we know this because we know those Vulcans would never be so bold.”

_So you think_ , thought Jane. “Did you check their tattoos?”

“Why would we do such a thing? They were clearly Romulan.” He smirked. “As we speak, they are on their way to Romulus under escort. We will follow, and your prisoner will re-join his comrades…while you and your crew will face the punishment you deserve for violating the treaty.”

\---

Jane was ready to let out a storm at the Romulan courtroom, while part of her was also amused at how the Romulans around her had all been fooled by a bunch of fake tattooed Vulcans.

“You come before the senate with your lies exposed and your ambitions defeated,” the Romulan judge began. Jane didn’t bother to conceal her eye roll. “You are no doubt inclined to congratulate yourselves on your bold attempt to infiltrate our borders. You believed that we could be deceived by your transparent attempt to spy on the Imperium?”

“It’s not us who are transparent, sir,” said Jane. “It is _you_ who are blinded by your beliefs of us; so blinded that you cannot bring yourselves to accept that we want to help you.”

“Silence!” said the judge. “Captain Kirk, you and your crew stand accused of violating the treaty that secured the peace between our Empire and your Federation. What say you in your defence?”

“That I pity you,” she spoke. “I pity your ignorance to see the truth – a truth which, being Romulan, you _should_ have seen from the moment you saw those Vulcans. Even I saw it, and I only had to look at them once. They bring a threat to your planet, and unless you _listen_ to me, _billions_ of lives will be lost.”

“Billions of lives have already been lost, Captain,” said the judge. “When word of Nero’s actions reached us here, the reaction was not of shock or disapproval at the actions of a madman. It was of regret; regret that we were not able to welcome that brave son of Romulus back into the Empire before he met his demise at _your_ hands. Everything Nero did, he did for the glory of the Romulan Empire.”

“No. He didn’t.” Jane took in a deep breath, ready to channel her anger. “He did what he did because he lost his wife and unborn child – and he blamed the wrong people for that loss. In case you didn’t know, Nero came from exactly 129 years into the future, which explains his ship and its technology. And if the Vulcans on this world don’t enact their revenge, Romulus will be destroyed anyway. Because in exactly 129 years from now, a nearby star – that little bright flickering thing in the sky above your Empire – will go supernova. It’ll destroy Romulus and its Empire with it, but in reality you would have destroyed yourselves.”

The judge shared glances with the Romulans around him before he turned back to Jane with his eyes narrowed. “Explain.”

Jane’s expression never changed. “You would have destroyed yourselves because the only one willing to help you was a half-human, half-Vulcan Ambassador who was too late to inject the Red Matter into the supernova. It stopped it, sure, but then he was chased through the resulting black hole by Nero. But do you want to know why he was the only one willing to help you? Because you lot were a bunch of _fucking fascist bastards_ who will spend the next century trying to destroy the Federation – the only ones who can _save_ you! Not just that, but saying things like you just said doesn’t make a lot of friends; that you were _fucking proud_ of Nero’s actions for destroying Vulcan and ending _billions_ of _lives_! It’s no wonder we didn’t want to help you when you _fucking assholes_ needed it! No wait, hold on…you felt you didn’t _need_ help because you believed there was nothing _fucking wrong_ with that star. You thought it was a lie created by us in order to mask our supposed “dishonourable intentions”. Your inability to comprehend that we would want to _help_ you, _fucking blinded_ you all to the fact that the star was dying, and unless you get rid of that _fucking_ single-mind of yours, you’re going to end up like Vulcan sooner or later. Sooner if the Vulcans detonate the Red Matter, or later if the star dies and kills you all. So I suggest you all shut the _fuck_ up, go and examine those so-called _fucking_ heroes _and_ the _fucking_ star…and think very, very _fucking hard_ about your actions for the next _fucking_ century.”

Spock would have been proud. There were no emotion in those words, and neither the judge nor the other Romulans in the room knew what to say to her. Even the other three crewmen were in shock.

Jane just remained focussed on the Romulan judge. “I wish I could say this with hope and its true meaning; _live long and prosper_.” 


	8. Yesterreality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone else discovers the other Jane...

“Serve out our term? Why doesn't he just say “spend the rest of you miserable lives in perpetual suffering”?”

“I didn’t expect they’d imprison us here for _life_ , Bones.”

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Well, you should have thought about that before calling them fascist bastards and assholes – and dropping the ‘F’ bomb a couple hundred times.”

“And I don’t think flipping the bird at them helped either, Captain,” Lemli agreed.

“I doubt they even knew what that meant!”

The four of them were being transported to the Capital’s prison, and the mood wasn’t very enthusiastic. Jane examined the open-top shuttle they were being transported in, before looking at the four guards around them; three watching the city pass by, and one driving.

“Hey, Leslie,” she whispered. “Think you could drive one of these things?”

He smirked, catching her meaning immediately. “Easier than an Academy shuttle, Captain.”

Jane then turned to Lemli. “Lemli, remember in Advanced Self-Defence, there was that move you had difficulty with? You got it in the end, right?”

“I certainly did, Captain!” With a brilliant smile he punched the first guard, sending him over the edge of the speeder and plummeting to the city below. The other two guards were instantly alert, but the crew were upon them.

Jane punched the first before kicking him over the edge. Leslie leapt at the driver and bit his ear, before literally picking him up and sending him over the edge as well.

The last guard grabbed McCoy and held a phaser at him. “Enough! Stop now or your comrade dies!” He was suddenly shot from behind, and McCoy elbowed him over the edge.

Jane looked up and smiled at the familiar face above them. “Well, it’s about time!”

Spock – his hair gone as part of his disguise – sent her an apologetic look from his shuttle. “Apologies, Captain. I encountered unforeseen circumstances.” The Vulcan with him positioned the shuttle next to their own, and only then did Jane notice who that Vulcan was.

“Spock, what’s your father doing here?” She didn’t exactly know what to say, and the only explanation was that he had been part of the Vulcans intending to destroy Romulus – which was ironic, considering he had been the one to inform them of the plot in the other reality, according to her counterpart, anyway.

“As I said, unforeseen circumstances,” said Spock. “There is much to tell you, but we have little time to act. My father was among those Vulcans intending to destroy Romulus; he was blinded by his emotions of losing Vulcan and almost losing my mother, but he has recognized his error. We must hurry.”

\---

“STOP!”

They were able to get there in time, and Jane avoided the temptation to take out her phaser as Sarek stepped forwards. “There has been a terrible mistake. You are in great danger.”

“Guards, secure them!” the Romulan ordered.

“Do that, and you all die,” said Sarek. “Captain Kirk spoke the truth when she came to you. These Romulans are in fact Vulcans, disguised in order to infiltrate the planet and attempt to destroy it. I know this because I was among them; I was their “Vulcan prisoner”.”

“Sarek, what are you doing?” one of them hissed.

“What I should have done after Vulcan was destroyed, Sevok.” Sarek sighed. “Following the dictates of reason, not emotion. As my son has reminded me, there is no more dangerous emotion that the thirst for revenge. I was grief-stricken after the loss of Vulcan, and almost losing my wife as well. But I allowed that grief to cloud my thoughts, twisting them with misguided logic to such an extent that even my own life was forfeit in my eyes. The death of Romulus will not ensure the safety of the Vulcan people.”

“Your change of heart is too late, Sarek.” Sevok opened his coat and brought out the detonator. “ _Far_ too late! I hold in my hands the instrument of our redemption! The time has come to strike back in the name of Vulcan!”

“Put down the detonator, Sevok,” said a Vulcan behind him. “Sarek is correct, old friend. And I rendered the detonator useless to ensure that we do not make a tragic mistake.” He rose his hand and showed that his thumb and finger were missing.

“Savrik, you of all people should understand!”

“I know. This scar… I earned it when my hand was crushed under a landslide as Vulcan died. I was beamed away with other survivors, leaving part of my hand buried under the rock…still holding the hand of my dead wife.” Jane almost cried at his words. “Taking away billions more lives will never bring my wife back – and it will only make us worse than the Romulans. They are lethal to us, but to their own people they are caring.”

“And all of you almost _died_ because of your single-mindedness,” Jane spoke up, turning to the Romulan who held the Red Matter. “As I said before, we only sought it back so we could get rid of it; it's too dangerous a substance to allow to exist. I hope, for the sake of your people and your future, you can arrive at the same conclusion.”

\---

“The senate has reached its verdict.” Once again they were stood before the Romulan judge. “We realize now that the Federation intrusion into our Space was not intended as an act of war, but of a misguided attempt to recover a dangerous weapon and prevent the wrong hands from using it against us. Keeping you in custody would only cause a confrontation we do not wish to seek out.” He sighed. “We examined the star – a star which we thought would burn at the center of our Empire forever. It has over a century left to live, as you said, Captain. And while we have no intention of forming an alliance with the Federation at this time, we understand that one day we may need their help.”

“How about the Red Matter, and the plans for the _Narada_?” asked Jane.

“The plans for the _Narada_ do not exist,” said the judge. “Another lie told to us by the imposters, to give us more reason to welcome them back. As for the Red Matter, it will remain here, but it will not be used. The advantage of having an Empire is that such a weapon does not fall into the wrong hands; it will be secure in our capital.” He then turned to the three Vulcans. “As for the Vulcan agents, they will be imprisoned here. Sarek will not be sentenced along with him, for an Ambassador may be needed for our future.” He turned back to Jane. “It was that other Ambassador – the one who failed – who told you of the star, wasn’t it?”

Jane nodded. “I will pass on your gratitude to him. He will be pleased to know that this time, Romulus will be saved.”

\---

“I hope your hair grows back quickly, Spock. You look weird.”

Spock raised that eyebrow of his at her. “McCoy gave me fast hair growth pills. It will be back within the hour, Captain. What did Admiral Pike have to say about our plan?”

“Let's just say I’d rather get yelled at by your mother any day.” Jane flinched, recalling the dressing down the Admiral had given her. It was hard to believe that it had been worse than the dressing down Sarek had received from his wife. “First he yelled at me for going into the Neutral Zone in the first place. He calmed down when I told him my reasons, but then he started yelling at me _again_ when he found out that the Romulans are in possession of the Red Matter. I think the only reason he didn’t demote me to an Ensign is because the Romulans have more or less promised peace between us in the future.”

“Which is a bonus, indeed.” Spock turned from where he was looking out the window into Space, gazing down at his shorter Captain. “Captain, you never told me how you knew those agents were Vulcans.”

Jane had known the question was coming, and had rehearsed her answer over and over. “The same way I knew about the star, Spock. Your counterpart told me.”

“I at first concluded the same thing,” said Spock. “But then I recalled that he had made a vow not to inform us of any events which had taken place in this timeline. And even if he had mentioned it, you would have informed me that you were contacting him about the matter. So I took the liberty of contacting him myself, and he told me he had said not a word to you.” He raised that eyebrow of his again. “So, Captain, how did you know?”

Jane froze, unable to answer. _Think, think, think!_ “Oh, shoot! I forgot I was supposed to meet Bones in medical for my fitness exam! Gotta go!”

She ran, ignoring Spock’s call of “Captain!” which was then followed by his logical conclusion of her actions: “Since you never liked going to medical for examinations, you are obviously running to avoid answering me. How very human of you.”

_Bastard_.

\---

“Sarek? Really?”

“Well, he _did_ fall in love with a human,” said Jane. “So it makes sense that he would lose his emotional control.”

The elder Jane shrugged in agreement. “He never was like the other Vulcans. So everything ended well?”

“More or less,” said Jane. “Other than the fact that now Spock’s suspicious of how I know all this stuff you’re telling me. Will he forget about it if I keep avoiding him?”

“Not a chance in hell.”

She sighed. “But I can’t tell him. The last thing I need is _him_ of all people knowing about this, what with you always nagging me about getting it on with him.”

“Which reminds me.” She smirked. “I know what I need to show you in order to convince you.” The scene changed, and the two were standing in the Captain’s quarters. The lights were off.

Jane didn’t understand why her counterpart had brought her there…until she saw two figures in the bed. “Oh, God! Seriously?! You think showing me _this_ will convince me?!”

“No, no, not _that,_ ” the elder Jane protested. Then she became curious. “Will it?”

“No! If anything, that’ll put me off _more!_ ”

“Worth a shot.” She shrugged. “No, what I wanted to show you is something I _know_ will win you over, at least in part. Because, after all, no one can say ‘no’ to a cute kid.”

“Cute kid?”

The door opened…and in the doorway stood a four-year-old girl in a yellow nightdress, clutching a stuffed teddy to her chest. Jane’s eyes widened, for while the child looked mostly human, her little pointed ears made it very clear who her father was.

“Is that…?”

The elder Jane nodded. “Meet Amanda Georgiana Kirk: your daughter from another reality.”

Jane could only stare at the little girl who could be hers. “OK, I can admit one thing: Spock and I make _adorable_ children.”

She watched as the little girl walked over to the bed and climbed upon it, before shaking the shoulder of the figure she was closest to. “Papa? Papa, wake up.”

The figure – Spock – turned to face the little girl as he woke up. “Amanda, it is not logical for you to be awake at this time. Go back to sleep.”

“But Papa,” she said, “you said we could wake up early. You were going to show me the Guardian of Forever. You promised.”

The other figure turned, and the memory-Jane looked up at Spock. “Your daughter’s going to keep nagging you, honey.”

“ _Your_ daughter needs to learn that patience is a virtue,” Spock said back. “It is also illogical to nag, for it does not get you what you want.”

“It’s also illogical to break a promise. Especially a promise you made to little Ama.”

Spock raised an eyebrow at his wife, before turning back to little Amanda with a look of defeat. “All right, Amanda. I will get up.”

The little girl wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him, as Spock rose from the bed with her in his arms. The watching Jane didn’t know what to say. They were…well, a family. And she felt the sudden desire to have that family; the one she never had and had always longed for.

“Convinced?” asked the elder Jane.

Jane looked at her, then back at the scene. She still wanted to make her own choices about this…but the family looked so happy together… “Ugh! I'm so conflicted!” She banged her head against the wall; it didn’t hurt, unsurprisingly. “I don’t want to follow some destiny, but…seeing you guys like that…seeing the daughter I could have with him…”

“I’m not doing this to torture you.” The scene disappeared and they were back on the empty bridge again. “I’m doing this because I care about you; I want you to live a happy life, especially after the one you already lived.”

“But I want to find happiness on my own,” said Jane. “Then it would be _my_ happiness. And don’t say that Spock counts; it was me, yes, but that was another life. Things are different now.”

“From what I see, your stubborn desire to follow your own destiny – to find your own happiness – is only hurting your more,” said the elder Jane. “Have you not considered the fact that it would still be your own choice if you chose to follow the path laid out in front of you?”

Jane didn’t know what to say to that – and even if she _did_ , she wouldn’t have been able to, for a familiar voice behind her said, “Fascinating.”

Her eyes widened, for while she recognized Spock’s voice instantly, she realized that it had not come from the waking world, like before. She turned slowly and found him stood behind her, gazing curiously at herself and the elder Jane. The only relief she felt was that his hair had grown back; the elder Jane wouldn’t have reacted well to it.

“Spock…” Realization hit her. “What the hell are you doing here?! Are you _mind-melding_ with me?”

“It would be the only logical conclusion, Captain,” he said.

“Ooh.” The elder Jane sat herself down in her chair. “Things just got more interesting.”

Jane shot her a warning glare. “Do anything, and you’re in trouble.” The elder Jane raised an amused eyebrow, but nodded all the same, so Jane turned back to Spock. “But why? And you don’t seem at all surprised to see her.” She gestured to the elder version of herself.

“It was simple logic, Captain,” Spock began. “You had to have known about the Vulcan plot somehow, and I reasoned that since your intellect is, no offence meant, not on par with that of a Vulcan’s, someone had to have told you. I then reasoned that you wanted to keep this person a secret, otherwise you would have informed me of them without fuss. I wondered why you would want to keep this person secret, and how you were able to since you hadn’t been in noticeable contact with anyone – until I recalled the mind-meld we shared after we left Tarsus IV. I sensed something unusual in your mind; it almost felt like another presence, as though you were carrying the katra of another. At the time I dismissed the notion, for a human cannot survive for very long with another’s katra in their mind, but I reconsidered after the Romulan plot. Vulcans can speak with a katra they hold in their minds – but those with less skill can only do so when they are asleep. You have been sleeping more often, unusually so during the middle of a crisis, and you mentioned knowing of Anton’s true identity because of a nightmare you experienced. Therefore, I deduced that you were in contact with a katra while you slept – the katra of someone from the other reality. And, in order for you to have survived so long with the katra, it had to have been your counterpart. I decided to mind-meld with you to confirm my theory, and here is the answer.”

“I missed you, Spock,” said the elder Jane with a smile.

Jane tried not to snap at her counterpart and asked, “What’s a katra?”

“It’s like a spirit of someone who has died,” said the elder Jane. “More specifically, a copy of that person’s memories. When a Vulcan dies, he or she can transfer his or her katra into someone else to carry, and that person has the task of placing the katra into Vulcan’s Katric Ark.”

“Precisely,” said Spock. “The woman before you is the katra of your counterpart.”

“I see.” Jane nodded. “This other Jane began showing up in my dreams not long after the Nero incident. I haven’t been able to get rid of her.”

“I am curious why she has not made a vow to keep information from us?” Spock questioned.

“I’m more mellowed out than the other Spock,” said the elder Jane. “I won’t tell you everything, otherwise the lot of you will never learn anything for yourselves. I only tell my counterpart the serious things; when lives are at risk.”

“Does my counterpart know about you?”

She shook her head. “I don’t have the heart to ask either of you to tell him considering I’m, well, dead. Can you ask him how I died, by the way? Because for the life of me, I can’t seem to remember. I mean, not for the life of me, since I’m not alive… You understand what I mean.”

Spock raised an eyebrow to Jane, who shrugged. “She’s like this.”

“Oh! Why don’t I show him around my memories?” The elder Jane rose from her chair, and the delightful smirk which crossed her face was enough to make her younger counterpart's eyes widen to the size of saucers.

“No! You’re not! You bring up even a single memory, and I’ll change it to an unpleasant one of my own!” Jane protested. When she noticed Spock's confused look, she hesitated. “She’s… uh… Ever since she showed up, she’s been trying to Christmas Carol me to death, and it’s getting annoying. If your counterpart was putting you through the same, you’d get what I mean.” She sent her elder self a glare.

The elder Jane just shrugged. “Alright, I won’t. But maybe he can help us with something?”

“I will endeavour to help you both anyway I can,” said Spock.

“OK.” The elder Jane walked over to him. “The younger me wants to be able to contact me in a time of crisis without having to fall asleep,” she explained. “Since Vulcans are experts when it comes to the weirdness of the mind, I was hoping you had a solution?”

Spock thought. “I mentioned that Vulcans can communicate with a katra in their mind rather easily, but neither of you are Vulcans. However, having a katra in your mind at all should not be possible either, so perhaps the technique can be learned.” He turned to the younger Jane. “Captain, how are you able to get here?”

“The same way I fall asleep,” Jane replied. “The first time it happened, it was accidental. I’ve been coming back here ever since. Not really sure how.”

“Perhaps if you can figure out the state of mind it takes to do so, you may be able to access this state while awake,” Spock explained. “It would almost be like sharing the same conscience; she would be able to see and hear what you see and hear, but would not be able to control your body. The two of you would be able to talk in your mind.”

“So, I’ll basically have a small voice in my head?” Jane asked. “I never liked the idea of a conscience.” Especially since that conscience wanted her to hit it off her half-human, half-Vulcan First Officer.

“But I’ll be able to help in an emergency, when you can’t go and lie down for a nap,” said the elder Jane.

“And you will theoretically be able to send her away again, so the effect is not permanent,” said Spock.

Jane finally nodded. “OK, fine. I’ll go with it.”

“I shall disconnect the mind-meld,” said Spock. “Then I shall awaken you, Captain.”

He vanished, and Jane instantly turned to her counterpart. “You were really going to _show_ him?!”

“Of course not,” said the elder Jane. “I want you to make your own move in your own time. I only did that to mess with you.”

Jane went to smack her, but woke up before she could. Spock was sat by the bed, waiting patiently. “Are you ready, Captain? It will be best to do this while you are still feeling tired.”

“Sure. Whatever.” Jane sat up and let out a deep breath.

“Since you mentioned before you can remember when you fall asleep, this will be easier for you,” said Spock. “You need to close your eyes and imagine falling asleep again, but unlike actually falling asleep, keep yourself grounded in the waking world. Take in deep breaths as you do.”

She closed her eyes, breathing in and out. She allowed her mind to drift, as it always did whenever she fell asleep, although she kept her senses alert; the sound of the ship, the feel of her bed beneath her, the smell of Spock… _Stop thinking about that!_ “What now?”

“You must search with your mind,” said Spock. “Search for the other you; she is in there somewhere.”

Jane searched, reaching out towards the part of her brain which she travelled to whenever she slept…

_Finally, you found me. Come on, open your eyes! I want to see something new – or rather, old. But from a new point of view!_

Jane’s eyes snapped open when she heard the voice. _Is that you or my imagination?_

_It’s me_ , said the voice of the elder Jane. _I like our quarters. They seem a lot more updated compared to mine. Fancy showing me around the rest of the ship?_

“Is she there?” asked Spock.

“Yep, she’s there,” said Jane. “And she’s already nagging away. Thanks for your help, Spock, but I’m beginning to regret this decision. Having a voice in your heard is the first sign of madness.”

_Hey! I heard that!_


	9. The Archon's Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The darker side of Starfleet is uncovered...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on the comic which, in turn, is based on the Original Series episode 'The Return of the Archons'. People may hate me for this but in truth, I prefer how the comic handled this instead of the episode. The episode was very strange, some parts didn’t even make sense, and some problems were left unsolved. The comic, however, ties things up and gives a logical explanation.

“Sulu! Come in, Sulu!” Chekov turned to Jane with panic in his eyes. “Keptin, zere is no response.”

“Keep trying, Chekov.” Jane tried not to sigh as she thought about Sulu and O’Neill trapped on the planet they were orbiting. _I knew I should have consulted my counterpart about this first_. “Uhura, is there anything on the scans?”

“Negative, Captain,” she reported. “No sign of Sulu or O’Neill.”

This time Jane really _did_ sigh out loud. “It’s like they just vanished into thin air…”

“Captain, sensors are picking up a power source of unknown origin beneath the surface of the planet, close to where Sulu and O’Neill beamed down,” said Spock from his station. He then rose and approached her. “I remain sceptical of pursuing a search for a starship of which there is no record in Starfleet archives, but given that Beta III is listed as uninhabited in those same archives – and yet we have found both a populated settlement and a strange power source below – I would submit that a further investigation is warranted.”

He then turned to her with an expression which was hidden. One she knew the meaning of, for they had agreed on it weeks before – when he had found out about her counterpart.

Jane closed her eyes and attempted to contact the other Jane. She had discovered the name _USS Archon_ from her, when the elder counterpart had mentioned it off-handedly during another conversation, and Jane had curiously looked it up. The result: stories of such a ship, but no records of it in Starfleet. The stories had said the ship had disappeared over Beta III, and the only reason Jane hadn’t asked further questions to her counterpart was because of the possibility of the ship being only a story.

But they had been proven wrong, and she wanted to know more about it. _You there?_

_I’m here_ , said the voice of the other Jane. _What is it? I was sleeping_.

_It’s an emergency_ , said Jane in her mind. _The last time we talked, you mentioned the USS Archon; so we decided to investigate. But now Sulu and O’Neill are missing somewhere on Beta III, and I need your help. Did this happen last time?_

There was silence, and Jane could feel her counterpart’s worry – which wasn’t good. _Yes, it did. It’ll take far too long to explain now, so I’ll do so as you go along. First off you need to take a landing party and beam down to the planet_.

_I’ll keep in contact_. Jane rose from her seat. “I’m going down there.”

“Captain,” Spock voiced, “that was not my intended suggestion, and whatever _you_ may have told yourself-”

“Oh, so you want me to remain on the bridge?” she questioned him. “Perhaps I should only send down Lemli and Leslie, and maybe a well-armed security team to investigate? Judging by the expression on your face,” un-Vulcan-like shock, she noticed in amusement, “that’s exactly what you were thinking. I’m really getting to know you, Commander. Not that I don’t appreciate your concern for my well-being, rest assured that I won’t be getting into any trouble. I know that because _you’ll_ be coming with me.”

She turned and walked away, just as Spock raised his eyebrow like he always did and said, “Fascinating.”

\---

“This…this is _ridiculous_.” McCoy gestured to the medieval-style clothing he was wearing; a black robe with a hood, with black trousers and boots to match.

Jane almost laughed. “Don’t blame me, Bones. Blame the Prime Directive – and Spock for forcing us to comply with it.”

“We must dress like the locals in order to blend in,” said Spock in response. “Otherwise they may attack us as they most likely did to Sulu and O’Neill.”

McCoy rolled his eyes as he joined them on the transporter pad. “I should really get back to my patients in sickbay.”

“Sickbay’s empty, Bones.” Jane smirked. “Nice try, but I keep track.” _Thanks for the tip about that, by the way._

_You’re very welcome_.

They beamed down and found themselves in a crowded courtyard. “OK, this is officially weird. We’ve beamed down to the middle ages, and not just in costume.” The buildings were old, and there was no sign of technology anywhere. “Not exactly what you’d find on the other side of the galaxy.”

A man approached them with a smile. “Greetings, travellers! Landru be with you.” And then he walked away again.

“They speak Federation standard,” said Spock.

“Not to mention everyone seems to be walking around in some sort of daze.” _Please tell me what’s going on here?_

_They're being controlled_ , said the other Jane. _And they think Landru is their god of sorts._

_But who is he really?_

“Captain, I think we’ve been noticed,” Lemli spoke up. They all turned to find hooded men with sticks approaching, before they circled the group in organized swiftness.

_Yeah, now you’re in trouble_ , said the other Jane.

_You think? Gee, I would never have guessed that, genius!_

“Greetings, travellers,” said one. “You are to come with us. It is the will of Landru.”

“You’re not taking us anywhere,” said Jane. _What are these guys’ weak spots?_

_They’re not combat types_ , said her counterpart. _Just stay away from those sticks of theirs._

_Why?_ Her question was answered not by her counterpart, but by Leslie attempting to push against one of their attackers, only to be blown backwards by a flash of light coming from the stick and a force that was indescribable. _Never mind, I got it_. Jane punched one in the face.

The others fought back as well, and Spock nerve pinched one before stealing a stick. “Captain, more on the way!” said McCoy, as he and Lemli helped Leslie to his feet.

“Time to get off the main road.” Jane ran into a nearby alley with the others behind her, and once she knew they were out of sight she took out her comm. “ _Enterprise_ , this is Kirk! Do you copy, _Enterprise_?” She received static in response, and was only just able to make out something about the ship. “Say that again, Uhura? What’s wrong with the ship?” Uhura’s voice changed to Scotty’s, but she still couldn’t make it out, and Spock rambling about the weapon he’d stolen wasn’t helping. Jane eventually gave up and put her comm away. “We’re in trouble.”

_Gee, you think? And you called me a genius for pointing that out before._

_I didn’t ask for your opinion!_

_You did, actually. That’s why I’m here_.

“It would appear so.” For once, Jane was thankful for Spock’s talk; at least it drowned out the voice of her counterpart. “My hearing is far more sensitive than yours, Captain; I was able to understand at least some of what Mr. Scott was saying. The _Enterprise_ is experiencing an engine problem, and logically this problem could be connected to the strange power source beneath the surface.”

“We need to get ready for another confrontation, Jane.” McCoy pointed to the armed attackers still coming. “I should have stayed in sickbay…”

Then a lone attacker appeared behind them; Jane was about to snatch the weapon from Spock to use in defence before her counterpart spoke up. _Wait! Don’t attack him!_

Before Jane could ask why, the man leapt over them and single-handedly took out the attackers. _Um, explanation?_

_It’s Sulu_.

Jane sighed with relief as Sulu pulled back his hood. “Apologies, Captain. I didn’t mean to startle you, but didn’t you say a recon team’s first priority is stealth?”

“Remind me to get you out of the pilot’s chair more often, Sulu,” said Jane. “Where’s O’Neill?”

“Captured,” Sulu reported. “Now that you’re here, we’ve got the numbers to break him out. This place is even more of a mystery than we thought, Captain.”

He led them towards a building as Jane told her counterpart, _A mystery you have yet to enlighten me on._

_It’s best to see as I explain_ , she said. _You’ll understand when we get there._ _Things get really strange from here on out._

Sulu led them down a flight of stairs. “Up top this place looks like medieval Europe. But down below it’s the complete opposite.” He gestured to all the technology they were coming across.

“This would appear to be mid-22nd century technology, Captain,” said Spock. “Specifically, around the same time when the _USS Archon_ went missing, and readings are indicating that we are approaching the origin of the power source.”

“I gotta admit, Captain,” said Sulu, “a lot of us were sceptical when you wanted to go on a hunt for a ship none of us had ever heard of. Turns out we all forgot Starfleet 101: Never doubt your Captain.” He pointed over to something which made Jane’s eyes grow larger.

It was part of the _Archon_ ; its name was there, clear for everyone to see, and it appeared to be at the centre of the power source. _OK, other me. Explain._

_I will after you save O’Neill_.

Jane looked more closely and realized that O’Neill was secured to a chair in the center of it all, with several of the hooded attackers stood around him. She, Sulu and Spock exchanged a nod before Sulu put his hood up and approached with Jane and Spock following. “Brothers, I have found more souls awaiting purification.”

“Purification?” Jane questioned. “I don’t like the sound of that.” She took out her phaser and fired. Spock did the same while Sulu leapt into the fight.

Once they were all down, Sulu and Spock helped O’Neill out of the chair. “Captain, are you sure our use of phasers was wise given the dictates of the-”

“Prime Directive?” Jane questioned. “They’ve built an underground altar out of pieces of a starship. I think we’re OK.” _Are we?_

_Yeah, you are_.

McCoy took over from Spock by O’Neill’s side, and the First Officer approached a large Starfleet logo with his Tricorder. “Captain, it appears that the power source is coming from behind this wall.”

“It’s time to open the mystery box.” Jane fired again with her phaser, and the wall collapsed. On the other side they found some form of computer. “So a computer is running the planet?” _Could you have at least told me that from the beginning?_

_Would you have believed me without seeing it for yourself?_

_Considering the other weird crap I’ve seen, yes, I would have_. “Is it part of the _Archon_?”

“Negative,” said Spock. “It appears to be far more advanced than anything aboard ships of the _Archon_ ’s vintage. I have never seen anything like it in the Federation, and yet, according to my scans it is of Earth origin. And there are Starfleet codes encrypting it.”

“Starfleet?”

_Yes, Starfleet built this_ , said the other Jane. _They didn’t want anyone to find it._

_Why?_

Sulu suddenly hurried in. “Captain, we have a problem!”

Jane and Spock followed him out, only to find that the room was filled with the planet's inhabitants. “Great, just what we need.” She took out her phaser and fired, stunning as many as she could. “Not only will Pike yell at me for going on this mission in the first place, he’s now gonna yell at me for firing on civilians.”

“Logically we do not have a choice, Captain.” Spock fired at some while he nerve pinched others.

McCoy and Leslie were able to work their way out, carrying O’Neill with Lemli covering them, and Jane, Spock and Sulu followed behind. Once on the surface Spock took out his comm. “Spock to _Enterprise_. Come in, Mr. Scott. Can you lock onto our signals?”

There was static, but not as much as before, and Scotty’s voice came through. “ _I can beam ye all up, but there wouldn’t be much point._ ”

“Why?” Jane demanded.

“ _That’s what I was trying to tell you all before!_ ” said Scotty. “ _The ship’s being pulled down towards the planet! I’ve tried everything, but something close to your location is exerting some sort of tractor beam. I’ve never seen anything like it!_ ”

“How much time do we have, Mr. Scott?” asked Spock.

“ _A matter of hours, and that’s if we're lucky!_ ”

_Matter of hours? You better explain!_

_Beam back to the ship and I will. I suppose now will be a good time to inform your crew of me_.

Jane noticed that Spock was awaiting her order, and she nodded. “We’ll go. Seven to beam up.”

\---

Once they were changed into their uniforms, the Senior Officers met in the DSS Room. “Status, Scotty.”

“It’s grim, Cap’n,” said Scotty. “If we continue at the current rate of decent, we’ll hit the surface in two hours. Even the manoeuvring thrusters are no use against…whatever this is.”

“This just doesn’t make sense,” said McCoy. “We all saw it; the _Archon_ is down there, and some ‘super-computer’ is inside it controlling the planet.”

“But how?” asked Sulu. “And Captain, I must ask; how did you know about the _USS Archon_ when none of us had even heard of it?”

Jane sighed. _Well, confession time_. “Spock already knows, and I suppose it’s time to tell you all. As you all know, Spock has a counterpart from another reality living in this world.”

“But didn’t he make a vow not to tell us anything?” asked Uhura.

“He did,” said Jane. “But not long after the Nero incident I fell asleep, and somehow _my_ counterpart – or at least her ghost, or katra as Spock calls it – became stuck in my head. As in, I can see her, hear her voice… It sounds crazy, I know, but she’s there and she’s been telling me things; she told me about Kodos, the Vulcans attempting to blow up Romulus, the _Archon_ … Don’t look at me like that!”

“We believe you, Jane,” said McCoy. “We’ve seen weirder stuff, remember? It’s just unexpected.”

“Does she know about this incident?” asked Uhura.

Jane nodded. Her counterpart had explained everything while she’d been getting changed before the meeting. “The people who live on the planet are all human; they’re the descendants of the colonists who originally settled here, and also of the crew of the _USS Archon_. A century ago, the ship was sent here to establish and watch over one of the first deep space colonies. The colony would be powered by a prototype technology invented by the head of Starfleet’s advanced research division at the time; a man named Cornelius Landru.”

“So that is where the name came from,” Spock realized.

“His creation was a masterpiece of artificial intelligence,” Jane continued. “At first it was thought that he intended for his creation to help the colony, but it turned out to be the opposite. Landru’s intentions were an experiment for population control; he wiped the minds of the colonists and re-programmed them. The truth leaked out to the crew of the _Archon_ ; they tried to stop him, but his technology pulled the ship to the surface. Surviving crew members settled on the planet, but since they couldn’t contact Starfleet, they had to start over, which is why things here are so simple. But Landru appointed law-givers who rounded them up and re-programmed them. Landru eventually died, but he programmed the computer to rule in his place; to eliminate any threat to the colony and to keep the people under control.”

“So why did Starfleet not come looking for them?” asked Spock. “And why did they wipe all proof of the _Archon_ ’s existence from their data?”

“That’s the scariest thing of all,” said Jane. “Starfleet _knew_ about the intentions all along, and _still know about it_.” Everyone else stared at her in shock. “The other Jane confronted them about it which got them to admit how outdated the experiment was. I only hope I can do the same when I contact Admiral Pike.”

“So how did you – the _other_ you, I mean – solve the problem of the ship being pulled down to the surface?” asked Scotty.

Jane smiled. “Mr. Scott, prepare to beam out all the people on the surface into the cargo bay. Mr. Chekov, are weapons systems still online?”

“Yes, Keptin.”

“Good. Lock onto the power source, and once everyone is on board, fire.”

Almost instantly McCoy rose to his feet, voicing objections, just as Spock did so in a calmer manner. The two then shared looks.

_Hey, congratulations, other me! You got those two to agree on something!_

Jane ignored how her counterpart had come without calling as she sighed. “One at a time, you two. Bones?”

“That machine has some kind of hold over the people down there,” McCoy explained. “It could almost be considered as part of their minds. If we destroy that machine, their minds could be destroyed as well – and we’ll have a hundred _dead colonists_ on our hands.”

“The other me said it won’t kill them; they’ll just be left confused until they’re re-educated.” She turned to Spock. “Is that the point you were going to make?”

“While Dr. McCoy makes a valid point, mine is different,” he said. “Captain, we are not meant to be here. We chose to investigate Beta III on our own accord, without asking Starfleet for permission, and the only account we have on what happened to the _Archon_ is from the katra of your counterpart who resides inside your head. Our primary mission has been to explore, not to engage.”

“Spock, are you seriously bringing up the Prime Directive over a Starfleet colony who are being brainwashed by Starfleet _themselves_?” Jane questioned. “I can understand that we’ll get into trouble over this; the other me said she stumbled upon the planet by accident, while we went _looking_ for it. And while our primary mission is to explore, Spock, the mission of both Starfleet and the Federation is to _protect_. What’s going on down there isn’t right, and once this is done, I’m contacting Starfleet and I’m gonna list to them all the reasons why they _suck_ for this.” She turned back to Chekov, her expression never changing. “Like I said; lock onto the power source, and once everyone is on board, fire.”

\---

“While Admiral Pike is my commanding officer, I did this without asking him first. I’m taking full responsibility for my actions – but are you?”

Jane was in contact with five Admirals, all sat at one table on the screen before her. The one sat in the centre was Admiral Marcus, and to his left sat Admirals Pike and Barnett. The two to his right were Admirals Polen and Faar.

“ _The Landru experiment has lasted for decades,_ ” said Polen. “ _It took great effort to remove all records of the USS Archon, and now all that work is for naught._ ”

“ _We can have you thrown out of Starfleet for this._ ” Faar glared at her.

“For freeing a hundred colonists from mind control?” Jane questioned.

“ _How did you even know about Beta III?_ ” asked Marcus.

Jane smirked. “The same way I know about a similar but accidental incident on Gamma Trianguli VI, your plans to let a shuttle explode so the Klingons don’t suspect you’ve broken their codes, a top-secret weapons base under the _Kelvin Memorial Archive_ called Section 31, and a weird little project in development only titled ‘Genesis’.” Their eyes were wide and their mouths hung open. “Judging by your expressions I can see this is all true. I know about it all because I’m well acquainted with someone who lived through all this.”

Technically, this was true. Her counterpart had informed her of these secrets – apparently the _Kelvin Memorial Archive_ was just called the _‘London Archive’_ in the other timeline – to prevent the Admirals from demoting her, and they would only suspect the elder Spock had told her. “ _Are you trying to bribe us, Captain Kirk?_ ” asked Faar.

“No,” she replied honestly. “I’m only making sure you don’t kick me out of Starfleet for doing the right thing. Starfleet used to stand for something, and I see now that _you_ need to be reminded of it; we explore, but we also _protect_. What you were doing to those people was wrong, and you know it. So instead of performing sick and twisted experiments on people, how about trying to _help_ them? I’m going to stop by Gamma Trianguli VI and pick up the people there, and then I’m going to bring them all back to Earth for re-educating. When I get back, I’ll help you find a way to _stop_ that shuttle from exploding. Then I’m going to make sure nothing illegal is going on in Section 31, and as for ‘Genesis’…be careful with that, for the love of God.”

She looked over the five Admirals; Pike was sending her a proud look, while Barnett looked equally satisfied. Faar and Polen looked annoyed and even a little angered. Marcus’s expression revealed nothing, although that was to be expected from Starfleet’s top Admiral. “ _You’ve made your point, Captain Kirk. Keep up the good work,_ ” was all he said before the transmission ended.

Jane let out a sigh of relief before turning to Spock, who had been watching the whole time. “So, what did you think? Am I awesome or what?”

“I will say that I am impressed, Captain.” He looked almost pleased and…was that admiration? “Very impressed.”

As she walked back to the bridge, Jane said to her counterpart, _If that turned Spock on, then I’ll say it now; I hate you._

_But I didn’t do anything!_

_I still hate you_. 


	10. The Apple's Seeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane saves Spock's life, and witnesses one of her counterpart's best memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning and the ending of this chapter is inspired by another issue of the comic, which in turn was based on the Original Series episode 'The Apple'.

_Can you just leave me alone? I didn’t even call you!_

She could _feel_ the other Jane smirking. _I have access to your memories. I was able to hear Spock’s instructions on how to call me, and I just applied them to myself._

Jane rolled her eyes _. When this mission’s over, I’m gonna ask Spock for a way to make you leave me alone for good_. “Energize.”

The six of them arrived on the surface of Gamma Trianguli VI, the six of them being Jane, Spock, McCoy, Landon, Hendorff and Lemli. Leslie was sick and McCoy had “banished” him to his quarters; Jane could tell that Lemli missed his friend.

“Alright, remember everyone,” Jane announced, “if the computer on this planet is anything like it was on Beta III, it’s going to fight against us. Bones, you take Landon and Lemli to find the inhabitants; try and explain the situation to them as best you can, but you need to get them beamed aboard the _Enterprise_. Spock, Hendorff and I will find the computer.”

The group split up.

Spock took out his tricorder in order to get a reading. “The power source appears to be coming from those caves over there.” He pointed to the caves in the distance. “I suggest we venture a closer look before ordering Mr. Chekov to destroy it.”

“But the longer we stay here, the more at risk we are,” said Jane. “You’re right, though; we need to take a closer look.”

_The flowers._

_What? I told you to go away_. Jane blocked out her counterpart before she could say more. “Sorry about that, Spock. The other me was going on about the flowers.” She looked around at the various plant life around them; the flowers were a range of colours, mostly pink. “They _are_ beautiful, though.”

Spock looked around too, and then frowned. “Captain, where is Mr. Hendorff?”

Jane looked around, as well; there was no redshirt to be found. “Wasn’t he right behind us?”

There was a sudden cry of pain, and the two hurried back the way they came. “Hendorff!” It was his voice; Jane knew that much.

They pulled back the bushes to find Hendorff on the ground, lying motionless, with several thorns sticking out of his side. There was, however, no trace of the attacker.

“Fascinating,” said Spock.

Jane tried not to yell at him. “What’s so fascinating about a _death_?” Spock didn’t say anything as he cautiously approached the fallen officer, scanning him with his tricorder. Jane contacted McCoy and told him to hurry to her location, but as she finished she noticed a large pink flower opening up above them. It was pointed directly at where Hendorff lay – and where Spock was now standing.

She suddenly realized what had happened.

“SPOCK!”

All she remembered was pushing him out the way and searing pain entering her system, before darkness.

\---

“If you had listened to me instead of blocking me out, maybe you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“You sound like my mother.”

“I could be – in a way.”

Jane was sat on the bridge of the _Enterprise_ where her counterpart usually sat. The reason for this was pain; Jane could feel that she was in great pain, and as it turned out, her counterpart had been able to feel it, too. So said counterpart had let her sit down.

“But you said you could feel it?” Jane had asked.

“Not in the way you feel it,” said the counterpart. “Dead can’t feel pain.”

Now Jane was regretting not having listened to the elder Jane’s warning. “I’m sorry for ignoring you. It’s just… You’ve been getting really annoying lately, and not just because of the whole ‘you should be with Spock’ talks. You’ve been annoying in general.”

“I can see that now,” said the elder Jane. “I suppose it’s because this place is so boring. Nothing happens. So I contact you and watch what you’re doing, but then _that_ becomes boring because it’s happened all before. So I start commenting. I know myself, and I should have realized that you would find it irritating.”

“Kind of ironic how I would find _myself_ irritating.”

They laughed. “So you saved Spock-”

“He’s my friend,” Jane said instantly. “It’s not a declaration of love, or anything like that.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything about that,” said the elder Jane. “I was only going to comment on the irony of the situation – in my time, Spock saved _me_ from the plant.”

“Really?”

The counterpart nodded. “Thankfully his Vulcan blood saved him. While saving him was a good thing to do, it would have been best not to, because at least he would have lived. You, on the other hand...”

“So this is death?”

“No,” said the elder Jane. “I’m a katra stored inside your mind. If you had died, we would have both gone…wherever it is people go when they die. McCoy will find a way to save you.”

“One can hope.” Jane sighed. “Never thought I’d ask this of you, but how about showing some memories? I’m bored, and I don’t want to just sit here in pain.”

“A good memory, then…” The elder Jane thought. “I have one good memory you’ll like, but it does have me in pain. It’s a good kind of pain, though.”

“Good kind of pain? What memory is it?”

“Amanda’s birth.”

Jane was instantly alert. She had been in love with the little girl who could be hers ever since her counterpart had shown her the memory of the child. Seeing her birth… She didn’t care if it was to do with Spock as well; she wanted to see it. “OK. Show it to me.”

“You’ll have to stand up.” Jane complied reluctantly before the memory appeared. The crew were on the bridge, and the memory-Jane was sat in the Captain’s seat. Her belly was large, making it obvious that the birth date was close.

“Something’s been bugging me,” Jane spoke up, turning away from the memory. “Starfleet regulations require that a woman Captain, when pregnant, must take shore leave until the baby is born. Why didn’t you?”

Something crossed the elder Jane’s face. “It’s a sexist rule. Men think that women are unable to do their job when carrying a baby; their emotions may get out of control, their health will be at risk… While some women do find it difficult, and the baby’s safety must be taken into consideration, I was determined to stay at my post throughout the pregnancy. I was able to prove to the Admirals that I can Captain a ship without problem while carrying.”

“Cool.” Jane smiled at her counterpart’s determination. “So, what about the birth?”

“I mentioned before that Spock and I chose to bring our baby into the universe on Vulcan,” said the elder Jane. “We were there preparing for the birth when Uhura reported that we were being contacted by Starfleet.” She then gestured to the memory, which began to play.

“Put it on the screen,” said the memory-Jane.

“Aye, Captain.” Uhura pressed several buttons before turning in her chair to face the screen.

A face appeared before them; it was Admiral Pike. “ _Captain, I’m sorry to ask this of you, but we need your help._ ”

“With what, Admiral?” asked the memory-Jane.

“ _The USS Farragut is in trouble,_ ” said Pike. “ _They’ve been attacked by Klingons, and they need back-up. I know you’re preparing for the birth of your child, but your ship is the closest to their location. All I ask is for you to go in and assist for a short time before we can get our main fleet there. Then you can go back to Vulcan._ ”

The memory-Jane exchanged looks with Spock before turning back to the screen. “So all we need to do is defend the _Farragut_ until the main fleet arrive?”

“ _If you don’t help them, there will be nothing left for the fleet to save,_ ” said Pike. “ _No other ship can make it in time, otherwise we would have asked them first. We didn’t want to ask this of you, but there’s not much choice._ ”

The memory-Jane sighed. “I’ll go and help. The baby isn’t due for another few days, anyway.”

Jane looked at her counterpart in surprise. “I’m heavily pregnant, and I’m going to fight Klingons. You should have told me how badass I am.”

“I didn’t want you to get too overconfident; you still have much to learn,” said the elder Jane.

Jane shrugged in agreement. “OK, I can understand that. But why are you showing me what happened before the birth?”

“Because things get…well, complicated.”

The memory skipped forwards, and the first thing Jane noticed was that everything was loud. Chekov and Sulu were focussed on the screen before them; Chekov was firing with precision, while Sulu was steering through the blasts of fire around them. Uhura was reporting on the ship-wide damage while Spock was attempting to fix any damage on the bridge.

The memory-Jane was holding her belly, looking worried, and instantly Jane knew what was happening. She turned to her counterpart with wide eyes. “You mean to tell me that you _gave birth in the middle of a **battle** against the **Klingons**?!_ ”

The elder Jane shrugged. “Ama always thought it was awesome when I told her the story.”

“Her feelings must have changed when _she_ gave birth to a daughter of her own,” said Jane. When the elder Jane gave her a confused look, she added, “You didn’t know? She had a daughter with Scotty’s son. Roberta Jane.”

“She…she did?” The elder Jane was speechless. “I must have died before that… She named her after me…”

“Sort of.” Jane looked back at the memory.

The memory-Jane was taking in deep breaths as she opened a channel to medical. “Bones, how busy are you and the others down there?”

“ _It could be worse, Jane. Why?_ ”

“I need you on the bridge. Something’s happening to the baby.”

She didn’t get a reply, and Jane assumed that McCoy was hurrying up. Spock had obviously heard, for he was by the memory-Jane’s side in an instant. “Jane, is the baby harmed?”

“No, I don’t think so,” she replied. “I think…it’s coming…”

“She was a fast baby, as well,” said the elder Jane. “Let’s move on a little further.”

The memory changed. McCoy had arrived with Nurse Chapel and Dr. M’Benga.

“Keep phasers locked onto the bridge of that Klingon warbird,” the memory-Jane ordered Chekov.

“Jane, we need to get you down to medical,” McCoy said. “Spock can take over here.”

But the memory-Jane shook her head; she was beginning to sweat. “I need to stay and get us out of this. If we don’t…we all die, including the baby.”

Spock just stared from where he was sat at his post, looking obviously conflicted. “While your tactics in combat are far more advanced than mine, Captain, moving yourself down to medical is the logical thing to do.”

“Spock…” The memory-Jane strained as she felt another contraction hit. “You know I need to stay here… I need to fight them off. We won’t survive otherwise.”

The familiar voice of her father stirred inside Jane. _You’ll die unless I fight them off… This is the only way you’ll survive…_

“The baby is fully dilated,” Chapel reported. “It’s too late to move her now.”

“Jane, take in deep breaths,” McCoy instructed. “I need you to push.”

The memory-Jane remained calm as she pushed hard with a cry. Hearing this, Spock left his post and stood by her side, holding one of her hands in his.

“Did he just leave his post?” asked Jane.

The elder Jane didn’t answer; she was too busy watching the memory play out in front of them, and Jane turned back to watch as well. She suddenly imagined a small shuttle, three doctors standing around her sweat-covered mother as she yelled and screamed from the agony of giving birth…

Then she was watching herself again, giving it her all as she pushed with groans of pain while giving orders to the crew around her.

“Captain, the fleet have arrived,” Uhura reported. “I’ve told them your condition, and they’ve ordered you to turn the ship around and retreat.”

The memory-Jane nodded. “You heard her, Mr. Sulu. Take us out of here.”

“Aye, Captain.”

When they entered warp the memory-Jane asked Uhura to open up a ship-wide channel. “Status report…all sections…”

But she paused – as did everyone on the ship – when she heard the cries of her baby.

McCoy handed the child to Nurse Chapel, who proceeded to clean her up. “It’s a girl, Jane,” said the doctor. “It’s a girl.”

The memory-Jane sighed, obviously relieved that it was all over, and leaned back into her chair. Spock was still beside her, rubbing his arm on her shoulder in comfort – although his eyes were gazing upon the little baby in the midwife’s arms. Then the baby was finally handed over, and the memory-Jane began to cry as she beheld the small child.

Jane noticed that her elder counterpart was crying too – and then she realized so was she.

The memory faded, and Jane found herself sinking into the Captain’s chair which had held herself and her child only seconds before. After seeing that…

“I just… That was overwhelming,” she finally said. 

“I would say ‘don’t try that at home’, but since you’re me, then I guess you’re fine,” said the elder Jane. “Starfleet issued an apology, but I told them to forget it; the _Farragut_ needed my help, and I was happy to defend them. What was amusing was the Klingon’s later found out about it – and promptly honoured my name for doing such a thing while battling them.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “OK, that _is_ rather amusing.”

“ _Jane…Jane…_ ”

Both looked around before realizing that someone was trying to wake her up. “Looks like you’re going to live, after all,” said the elder Jane. “Bones is a miracle worker.”

“ _Jane…_ ”

Jane opened her eyes to find she was lying on a bed in medical. Spock and McCoy were looking over her, both in concern.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Captain Kirk,” said McCoy.

Jane groaned. “Spock…”

“I am fine, Captain,” said Spock. “It was my Vulcan blood what saved me…and you. We have become uniquely connected.”

“Say what now?”

“Spock gave me a sample of his blood to use on you, in order to save you,” said McCoy. “Thanks to the Hobgoblin’s half-human heritage, his blood mixed into yours without killing you.”

“It is the first successful Vulcan-to-Human blood transfusion,” said Spock. “The procedure was not without its complications, but it appears to have saved your life with no lasting ill effects. Dr. McCoy is to be commended.”

McCoy looked at the First Officer sceptically. “I must have contracted something myself down on that planet, because now I’m hallucinating. Did you just say something nice about me, Commander?”

“As the situation dictates, Doctor.”

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Jane, you need to remain here for a few hours while I run some more tests. Then you’ll be back on your feet.”

“Sure thing, Bones.” When he was gone, Jane turned to Spock. “The computer? The natives?”

“The natives are on board, Captain,” Spock reported. “They are not human, although leaving them on the planet would have been problematic after the destruction of the computer as it was controlling everything, including the plant life and the atmosphere.”

Jane nodded. “And Spock… Thanks for, you know, giving me some of your blood.”

“Captain, you pushed me out of the way of a potentially deadly threat,” said Spock. “You did not think about yourself; only me.”

“Now you know how I feel whenever you put yourself in danger,” Jane said back. “Only you do it needlessly. Seriously, you need to think these things through.”

“But you did not think your actions through either, Captain. Otherwise you would have considered the possibility of me being not affected by the plant as opposed to yourself. So logically-”

Jane just burst out laughing at his logical response – not the response itself but the fact that he was giving one at a time like this – while Spock only raised an eyebrow at her.

\---

“So now you have Vulcan blood in you.”

“Sure.” Jane only shrugged as she fiddled with the buttons on the dream _Enterprise_.

“You’re not even going to tell me not to make any implicating comments?”

“I don’t feel like it,” Jane admitted. “I’m still at little overwhelmed by that memory you showed me.”

“Changing our mind, are we?”

Jane didn’t need to turn to know that her counterpart was smirking at her. But she didn’t make a resort; she didn’t even have the urge to.

Her mind was elsewhere. She thought about the memory, seeing the child that could be hers being born on this very bridge. And then she thought about what had happened on the planet; how she hadn’t even thought about herself when she’d saved Spock, and recalled how McCoy had mentioned that Spock had offered his blood the moment he realized it could save her…

“Your silence fills me with hope,” said the elder Jane. “I just need to get you to admit it aloud.”

Jane once again said nothing. 


	11. Tribbles of Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Enterprise vs. Tribbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like with the other chapters, this chapter is based on a comic issue, which in turn is based on the Original Series episode 'The Trouble With Tribbles'.

The memory hadn’t been that important.

The elder Spock had only been interested in the little ball of fur on Scotty’s desk, back on Delta Vega (the cold one). He had been surprised when Scotty had said that it didn’t eat and hadn’t multiplied. At the time, Jane had just moved them both swiftly on to the matter at hand and never gave the conversation a second thought.

But then she brought it up with her counterpart, and the elder woman froze instantly.

“A…Tribble?”

“That’s what your Spock called it, anyway,” said Jane.

The elder Jane remained still. “Did Scotty bring it with him?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest,” Jane replied with a shrug. “I can ask him about it, though. Although I don’t understand why you’re making a big fuss about it; the little guy looked harmless.”

“They do on first sight,” said her counterpart. “But then you feed them. And then they start multiplying. Tribbles are trouble; if Scotty still has it, ejected it out the ship’s airlocks immediately.”

Before Jane could ask why, she heard Spock’s voice and woke up. “Spock, she was about to tell me something interesting.”

“Captain, it is the Klingons.”

“Oh, wonderful.”

She followed Spock onto the bridge and sat in her chair, before opening a channel ship-wide. “Red alert! All hands to battle stations!”

“It appears to be a lone Klingon warbird, Captain,” said Spock. “What is puzzling is that they are alone and far from the borders of their Empire.”

Jane nodded. “Mr. Sulu, stay on their trail.” She then turned and saw Scotty walking towards her. “Mr. Scott, why aren’t you in engineering? We’re at red alert!”

“Well, Cap’n, I just wanted to apologize…” He looked hesitant. “I know I should have consulted you first. But you were asleep, and I realized that you may have been talking to you counterpart, so I-”

“Scotty!” Jane interrupted him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“The experiment with the… Wait, the red alert’s not my fault?”

Jane rolled her eyes. _How my alternate daughter married his son, I’ll never know…_ “Whatever you’re doing wrong will have to wait. Right now I’ve got Klingons to deal with. Update, Sulu.”

“Almost within visual range, Captain.”

Uhura turned from her station. “Captain, they’re hailing us. Audio only.”

“Put them on,” said Jane. “This is Captain Jane T. Kirk of the Federation starship _Enterprise_. Identify yourselves.” They responded in their own language. “Uhura, what are they saying?”

“It’s breaking up,” she said. “Something about an execution.”

“Captain, they jumped to warp,” Sulu reported. “We lost them.”

“Chekov, sniff out a trail for us to follow.” Jane turned to Spock, who had risen from his station. “If we can catch up to them before they cross back into the Empire, we can find out what they were up to.”

“I do not think intercepting their ship is worth the potential for conflict, Captain,” said Spock. “We may best be able to ascertain their intentions by investigating where they have been.” He walked back over to his station, and Jane followed, before he showed her the computer screen. “I conducted a scan of the nearest habitable planet, Iota Germinorum IV; a small Class-M planet previously unexplored by the Federation. No advanced life forms to speak of, but there appears to be an abundance of local fauna and flora. There also appears to be several examples of advanced technology scattered across the planet’s surface.”

“So the Klingons left them there?”

“A distinct possibility, Captain.”

Jane thought about his words. “Mr. Chekov, plot a course for Iota Germinorum IV. Full impulse, Mr. Sulu.”

\---

“So, what’s with the suits, Spock?”

“In case the technology is lethal, Captain,” Spock replied.

Jane just shrugged as she put her helmet on, and then noticed Chekov fiddling with his. “Stop messing with it, Chekov. These things are built to work, you know.”

“Apologies, Keptin. I am not used to going down to the surface of a planet.”

“You and Scotty need to get out more often, in my opinion.”

Lt. Kyle gave Jane a thumbs up. “Ready to energize on your mark, Captain.”

“Energize.” They arrived on the surface of the planet and found it to be a colourful paradise. “Strange new world.”

“I am triangulating the location of the closest device… This way.” Spock began walking, and the others followed. “I am detecting significant biomass in the vicinity of the device.”

“Hello, little fellow!”

Jane turned and saw that Scotty had picked something up – and that something was identical to the creature he had kept in a cage on Delta Vega.

_Tribble!_

Jane jumped a little at the sudden appearance of her counterpart inside her head, but then gave an annoyed inward sigh. _Hey, I thought I told you not to come unless I called?_

_Tell him to put it down! Now!_

Jane rolled her eyes but did as asked all the same. “Scotty, the other me says to put it down.”

“Oh hush, Cap’n, it’s harmless! See, it’s purring!” He stroked it. “You remember I had one in a cage back on Delta Vega; I finally decided to send it to my nephew Chris at the academy. That’s what I was doing before the Klingons showed up.”

_Ask him if Chris is feeding it_.

“The other me wants to know if Chris is feeding it.”

“I did say it didn’t _need_ to be fed. Then again, I didn’t tell that to him…”

Spock picked up another one. “Fascinating…”

“Where do you lot keep coming from?” Scotty bent down to where three now sat instead of just one. “I could’ve sworn there was only one of you a second ago…”

_They multiply. Please tell your crew to put them down!_

“The other me says they multiply and we need to put them down,” said Jane. “Now can we get back to the Klingon technology which can potentially kill us?”

Spock put his Tribble back down and moved forwards. “Only a few meters ahead, Captain.”

“Thank God. The sooner we get off this rock, the…better?” She froze at the sight which met them.

The technology, for a start, looked like a bomb – which was surrounded by a sea of fur.

_I did try to warn you. Those things may not be intentionally lethal, but if you let them multiply…_

_So that’s why the Klingons want to blow them up, huh?_

_Klingons and Tribbles hate each other. Don’t really know why_.

“Well, the other me just informed me that these things spontaneously reproduce asexually, at least I think that’s what she implied,” said Jane. They began to carefully make their way over to the bomb. “She also said that Klingons and Tribbles hate each other.”

“Which would explain the Klingon’s use of the term “sworn enemies” to describe them,” said Spock. “I thought they had perhaps grown an unusual sense of humour.”

Jane tried not to laugh as she watched Chekov and Scotty kneel beside the bomb. “The other me’s panic implies that she’s dealt with them before. Perhaps she saved a planet from drowning in fur?”

_It was a space station, actually._

“Logically if the species was introduced onto a non-native planet, it would pose such a threat,” said Spock.

“Cap’n, this is quite a bomb,” said Scotty. “Very big, and very well-built. It’s gonna take some time to find the off switch.”

A loud noise suddenly caused them to look up, and in the distance they could see an elephant-like creature heading towards them. “Scotty, you and Chekov get that thing defused.” She took out her phaser, as did Spock, and the two stood side-by-side. _Other me, what the hell is that thing?_

_I…don’t know_.

“Great, the other me doesn’t know what that is. We’re screwed.”

“Not necessarily, Captain.” Spock pointed back over to the creature; it had several trunks which it was using to suck up the hundreds of Tribbles. “It appears to be only interested in its food. It is the natural predator of the Tribbles; it keeps their numbers under control. If we remain still, it may hopefully ignore us.”

As he said this, the creature looked up and wandered over. “You just had to say that, didn’t you, Spock?” Its trunks reached out and began to sniff her, almost like a dog. “He’s actually kinda cute in a weird sorta…whoa!”

Only when she was almost underneath did she see its mouth, and the rows upon rows of sharp teeth. She instantly backed away as it growled at her, and Spock shot at it with his phaser. It collapsed, and Jane just kept on backing away from it. _I bet you’re glad you never saw it._

_I am, but it makes me feel bad for you_.

“Captain, are you hurt?” asked Spock.

“I’m fine. Chekov-”

“I found the switch, Keptin!”

“Then hurry it up!” In the distance, Jane could see more of the creatures coming in response to their fallen friend. “Because that thing we just stunned has friends in high places.”

\---

“Remind me _never_ to visit that planet again.”

“Why would I do that when it is obvious you would remember to remind yourself from the unpleasant experience?”

“It was a figure of speech, Spock.” Jane couldn’t help rolling her eyes, but with a smile. She liked it whenever Spock was confused by an Earth figure of speech. It was almost…cute.

_Cute enough for you to date him?_

_Is now really the time for that?_ She, Spock and Chekov entered the bridge. “Uhura, put the incoming transmission on screen.”

Admiral Pike appeared. “ _Captain, we've got a situation on our hands, and it appears to have started on your ship._ ”

“Sir, for the past hour Spock and I have been shooting at creatures the size of elephants while my best have been defusing a Klingon bomb,” said Jane. She knew Pike wouldn’t ask; it wouldn’t be the weirdest report he’d heard from her. “Unless… Scotty?”

Pike nodded. “ _An alien life form was beamed all the way back to Earth from the Enterprise in violation of quarantine protocols. A cadet named Chris Preston brought the incident to our attention. He said he had received the life form from his uncle Monty. Given that there is only one ‘Montgomery’ currently serving on the Enterprise, and given his impressive achievement in trans-warp beaming…_ ”

“I’m seriously gonna kill him.” Jane placed her head in her hand.

“ _I need you to ask Mr. Scott what this creature is and where it came from._ ”

“I can already tell you that, sir,” said Jane. “We’ve just been dealing with them on Iota Germinorum IV; they’re called Tribbles, and they appear to multiply through spontaneous asexual reproduction. First off, make sure you don’t feed them. How bad is the outbreak?”

A picture of a fur-covered Starfleet was her answer.

“ _Starfleet headquarters and the Academy campus are in lockdown quarantine,_ ” said Pike. “ _While preventing them from being fed is a start, we need to find a way to get rid of the rest. We can’t just exterminate them; it goes against the heart of the Federation._ ”

“We'll try and find a solution, sir,” said Jane.

\---

“I was just trying to get the beagle back, Cap’n! The poor little beastie’s atoms are still out there somewhere, floating in the void. Beaming the Tribble to my nephew was a way to test my theory.”

“You didn’t even think about the _quarantine protocols?!_ ” Jane yelled. They were all sat in the DSS Room. “Now not only do I have Pike yelling at me, but the other me is yelling at me as well!”

“But you saw so yourself, Cap’n,” said Scotty. “That fuzzy bastard has been sitting in that freezing base on Delta Vega for months without so much as a hiccup! How was I supposed to know it breeds like a rabbit? Although now that I think about it, this would explain why the wrinkly Spock looked concerned.”

Jane turned to the non-wrinkly Spock. “Thoughts?”

“No one wants to see the creatures eliminated, but the threat to Earth is dire, indeed,” he said.

“What about your other self, Cap’n?” asked Scotty.

“All she knows is not to feed them,” said Jane.

The room’s comm beeped. “ _Captain, this is Masters!_ ”

“I’m here.”

“ _We have a problem in engineering, Captain! We’ve been breaking down the Klingon weapon to study it, and… Well, it looks like some things from the planet were stuck inside. Kyle said they looked hungry so he gave them some food, and before we knew it…they were everywhere!_ ”

Jane sighed. If it wasn’t Scotty, it was Kyle. “Is engineering on lockdown?”

“ _Yes, Captain! No one in or out! I stopped Kyle from feeding them and they’ve stopped multiplying, but we can’t seem to get rid of them!_ ”

“Well, you get yourself and anyone with you out of there,” Jane ordered. “Oh, and grab one of damn things while you’re at it.”

\---

“Bones, _please_ tell me you found something.”

“Well, this appears to be the original that was trapped in with the bomb,” said McCoy. He held up the Tribble which was secured in a glass container. “Hobgoblin and I-”

“You mind not calling him that?”

“…Spock and I figured that out because it died during our tests – of old age.”

“Old age?” Jane questioned.

“Tribbles are remarkably like insects,” said Spock. “From what I was able to discern from a study of its physiological process, this creature is not designed to live longer than a matter of days. I would surmise that the creature’s rapid replication is an evolutionary response to its short lifespan.” He stood up from where he was sat by the microscope. “It is like any other creature in this universe; unless it reproduces, its species will die. It simply does so at a vastly accelerated rate, not unheard of, as I said, in most insects.”

“So we just need to wait for them to die off?” asked McCoy.

“Despite it only being a few days wait,” said Jane, “Starfleet doesn’t have time for that. I’m pretty sure they have exams and other various events going on this weekend.” She frowned. “But it doesn’t make sense. Scotty’s Tribble lasted for months. How could it have done if they only live for a few days?”

“I have a hypothesis I would like to test,” said Spock. “One which may answer your question, Captain.”

\---

“I canne believe you’re making me go _in_ there!”

“It’s your own fault, Scotty.”

“Aye, I know.” Scotty finished wrapping himself up in his coat and scarf before Charlene Masters placed a woolly hat upon his head. Jane frowned at the interaction.

“Remember, Mr. Scott,” said Spock, “the initial test will be to replicate the conditions in your station on Delta Vega. The temperature you set will be well within the survivable limits of the human body, but it will place the Tribbles in hibernation. It will not kill them; in fact, it will allow them to live longer than their usual lifespan.”

“Alright, let’s get started.” Jane turned to the door. “Computer, disable lockdown of engineering section.”

The door opened, and a tidal wave of Tribbles came pouring out.

“Dammit!” came McCoy’s voice as they swarmed around him.

Kyle looked embarrassed. “I may have left my lunch in there…”

“Kyle, McCoy, Masters, secure the loose ones!” Jane turned back to Scotty. “Get in there before more spread.”

“I’m on it, Cap’n!” Scotty waded his way through the sea of Tribbles and into engineering.

He was passed by Keenser, who was attempting to shake the Tribbles gripping his tiny body as he made a run for it. “Computer, close door to engineering.”

_Wait…was that Keenser?_

Jane blinked at the voice of her counterpart. _You know him?_ The elder Spock hadn’t recognized him, which had been a surprise…

_Our father found him on a distant planet,_ the elder Jane explained. _A talented engineer; he was the first of his kind to attend Starfleet Academy. He then served aboard the Kelvin until…that incident when I was fifteen. He died along with my parents._

_He must have still been at the Academy when the Kelvin was destroyed this time,_ Jane realized _. Nice to know the alternate reality saved a life_. She glanced over at where Charlene was carrying a bundle of Tribbles in her arms.

She felt the other Jane smirk. _Nice to see Scotty already getting acquainted with his future wife_.

Jane did a double-take. _Wait, what?_

\---

“Why did you tell Admiral Pike that Mr. Scott risked his life?”

“To stop him from being demoted.” Jane and Spock were walking through the _Enterprise_ 's hallways. “I couldn’t let them sack the best engineer in the fleet. What I want to know is why Bones decided to keep that dead one.”

“Scientific research,” said Spock. “We decided upon it together.”

Jane paused and turned to face him slowly. “You two actually _decided_ on something? _Together?_ ”

“I do not understand why you are always surprised by this?”

“Because you two are like cats and dogs; you don’t get along _at all_ most of the time. My counterpart said you guys were worse in her timeline.”

“I do not understand.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “Well, when the universes split, some things stay the same, although things in one may be toned down-”

“I understand that, Captain. I do not understand why you said that cats and dogs hate each other. During my time on Earth I have seen plenty who appeared to get along considerably well.”

Jane couldn’t help it; she burst out laughing and had to lean against the wall to prevent from falling over, while Spock watched her with a mixture of concern and confusion. _I’m beginning to see why the other me fell for you, Spock_. 


	12. Mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Janes get a glimpse into a familiar mirror universe...and one that's not so familiar...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about the Original Series episode 'Mirror, Mirror'. That episode will be referenced and part of it will be shown, but most of this chapter will be about the alternate reality comic version – as in, the alternate reality of the mirror universe.

“There’s something I don’t understand.”

The elder Jane raised an eyebrow. “And what’s that?”

“You want me with Spock. The elder Spock hinted that he wants the same thing. And apparently, the universe wants us together, too.” Jane finished pacing the length of the bridge and turned to her counterpart. “But why? Just because it happened in another reality doesn’t mean it has to happen in _this_ one.”

“Why are you asking this now?” asked the elder Jane. “Because as far as I can tell, you seem more open to the idea than you were before.”

“Maybe I am.” Jane shrugged. “It’s just… I want to know that if I _do_ decide to try a relationship with him, I want it to be _my_ choice and not the will of some force in the universe.”

The elder Jane thought. “Have you ever heard of the term ‘Love Transcends Space-Time’?”

Jane's eyes narrowed. “You’re not gonna go into the idea of soulmates, are you? Because that’s so overused these days, to the extent that it’s more annoying that romantic.”

“I understand what you mean, and while soulmates is something to do with it, that’s not what I’m explaining,” said the elder Jane. “Love Transcends Space-Time is the idea that nothing can keep lovers apart; not even the accidental cause of an alternate reality. Spock and I loved each other deeply in our universe; perhaps when the universes split, the lingering love that remains is attempting to pull you two together?”

“Which just makes my point that I don’t have a choice,” said Jane.

“Actually if you think about it, the lingering love is from _my_ reality, and in my reality I _chose_ to be with him. So technically you _did_ make your own choice.”

Jane held a hand to her head. “Now you’re just confusing me.”

“Backing up my theory,” the elder Jane continued, “this wouldn’t be the first time something like this happened. Well, sort of.”

The younger counterpart just looked even more confused than before – but also intrigued. “Are you saying an alternate reality was created before?”

“I'm not sure when it was created…” Her counterpart shrugged. “And while it’s an alternate reality, I think the correct term for that particular one is a mirror universe: where everything, to an extent, is backwards.”

“Backwards?”

“There was a me, there was a Spock, and everyone else was there on the _Enterprise_ ,” said the elder Jane. “But instead of serving the Federation, we served the Terran Empire.”

“An Earth Empire?” While Jane was sceptical, the idea wasn’t that hard to believe. After all, Earth had a history of Empires in its distant past, so it wasn’t entirely inconceivable for a galactic Empire conquered by Earth to exist. “How do you know about it?”

“A mishap with the transporter,” said Jane. “A little tip: don’t try getting it to work in the middle of an ion storm. Bones, Uhura, Scotty and I were transported into this other universe while those counterparts of us were transported into ours. Spock found himself having to deal with their barbaric nature with the added bonus of my counterpart trying to kiss him.”

“Trying to kiss him?” Jane’s eyes widened with realization. “Meaning in that universe-”

“Spock and I got together a whole lot sooner,” said the elder Jane.

The scene around them changed to the Captain’s quarters, where the memory-Jane was rummaging through her draws, muttering something about finding less concealing clothing. Jane could understand why she would want to find some; she was only wearing a yellow mini top and skirt, her belly on show.

“So the Empire’s dress code is to look as sexy and revealing as possible?” she asked.

“I never had that question answered,” the elder Jane admitted.

Then Spock entered the quarters – and his look caught the young Jane off guard. “Is that a Van Dyke beard? He looks like a pirate.”

Her counterpart smiled in amusement. “I was admittedly torn between how my Spock looked and the bearded Spock. It’s a good look.” They both turned to the memory before them.

“You told me to meet you in your quarters,” said Spock in the memory. “So here I am.”

“Yes.” The memory-Jane shut her draws and turned, but suddenly became uncomfortable as to how close Spock was standing. She did nothing – didn’t move, didn’t say a word – as Spock leaned in and kissed her.

“I had to let him do it,” said the elder Jane. “The four of us were pretending to be our counterparts; I realized this must be normal.”

“Doesn’t look like you were complaining. You’re me, and I know myself.” Jane smirked as the memory disappeared.

“The kiss and the lack of mental bond allowed that Spock to discover our true identities, and he helped us get back to our own reality,” said the elder Jane. “Before I left, I told him that the Empire was doomed, judging from what I had seen, and he agreed. I then told him to convince the other Jane of this and for the two of them to work together in order to make a change. I did wonder if they succeeded.”

Jane opened her mouth to say more – but then she looked at their surroundings. “This isn’t the _Enterprise_.”

They were standing on a cliff overlooking a ruined city which was burning. “This is Qo’Nos, the Klingon home world,” the elder Jane realized. “What happened? It’s not my memory.”

“Hey, there’s Spock.” Jane pointed over at the figure standing a few steps away; she didn’t understand how they hadn’t noticed him before. “His uniform is like armour. And…he has that beard from the Empire reality.”

“It appears to be the same reality,” said the elder Jane. “He looks younger, so this is before I arrived. But the uniform is different…” She turned and saw guards approaching, and both Janes stepped aside. “We’re not here for real, otherwise they would have seen us.”

It was Sulu, Lemli and Leslie, Jane realized. Between the two security officers was a Klingon being dragged across the ground. “Commander Spock, the prisoner as you requested,” said Sulu. The Klingon was thrown before the Vulcan.

“Chancellor Gorkon,” said Spock. He glared down at the Klingon. “It appears even the fabled _Yan-Isleth_ were not enough to protect you.”

“The brotherhood of the sword died with honour, Vulcan dog,” the Klingon spat. “A concept you could _never_ understand.”

“OK, this Spock’s scary,” Jane whispered to her counterpart. “That Klingon better do something bad, otherwise I’m gonna start routing for him.”

“If we had been in a different time, I would have asked you to swear loyalty to the Terran Empire,” Spock continued. “But after the attack on the _ISS Kelvin_ by the Romulan Empire, we have learnt there is only room for one Empire in this galaxy. Your people – all of you – will die. And you will be the first.”

Jane and her counterpart exchanged glances. “The Romulan attack happened here, too?” asked the younger.

The elder nodded. “It appears so. Meaning this is an alternate reality of the mirror universe I found myself in all those years go. I hope that doesn’t confuse you much.”

“No, I got it.”

They both looked away as Sulu took out his sword and cut the head off the Klingon.

“Any word from our Captain?” asked Spock.

“Captain Kirk said Praxis is under our control,” said Sulu. “She then left Praxis an hour ago, heading to the Klingon prison colony on Rura Penthe. She took a strike squad with her. Since Rura Penthe is already in our hands, I cannot imagine what she’s after.”

“I know what it is. She is looking for revenge.” Spock stepped away from the group to look over the burning city, and only then did the two Janes see the change in his expression. He went from ruthless Commander to a caring lover in a matter of moments, and he closed his eyes as he muttered something under his breath.

Jane didn’t know enough Vulcan to understand, but when she saw the expression on her elder counterpart’s face… “What did he say?”

“Be safe, my love. And be careful.”

Then the scene changed. They were in a prison cell, and Jane almost jumped when she saw Nero slumped against the wall. The door opened, and a familiar female figure stepped in.

“You _are_ still alive, aren’t you, Nero? Because if you weren’t, I would have come all this way to be disappointed. I’m Jane Tiberia Kirk, and you killed my dad.”

Jane’s eyes widened at the sight of herself – a young woman who was both her but not – with eyes so cold and cruel and a stance so ruthless. Like Spock, she also wore armour as a uniform, only hers was yellow unlike Spock’s blue.

“I-” was all Nero was able to say before the counterpart-Jane threw him against the wall. The Jane watching didn’t realize she _had_ that kind of strength – although she couldn’t help but feel at least a little satisfied at seeing Nero helpless.

“You don’t even remember, do you?” the counterpart-Jane spat. “It was about twenty-five years ago. The Terran warship _Kelvin_? Hell of a ship, but it was no match for that monster you showed up in.” She gave the Romulan a punch. “I don’t remember much, seeing as I was still in my mother’s womb when you showed up and attacked without warning.” And then another punch, which knocked Nero to the floor. “But I’ve got this…this _feeling_ … Like I knew my dad was saying goodbye to us. Right before he died saving us.”

“Mercy…” Nero tried to pick himself up.

But the counterpart-Jane kicked his face, sending him over again. “Of course, without you, we wouldn’t have become aware of the threat the Romulans posed. It didn’t take us long to eliminate them. It was too bad the Klingons captured you before the Terrans could. But they were too stupid to figure out how to replicate your ship. I, on the other hand, won’t have a problem. Not with the crew I have.”

“I’ll never let you…take my ship… I’ll never give you the access to the control systems…”

The counterpart-Jane smirked. “The rest of your crew gave it to us before we executed them. I’m not here to interrogate you, Nero. I’m here to _kill_ you, and I’m not gonna use fancy torpedoes to do it. I’m gonna use my bare hands – and a little trick my First Officer taught me.”

Jane looked away, and was thankful when the scene changed right before the inevitable death came. “I’m barbaric!”

“You had the same life you grew up with, only it was in the Empire,” said the elder Jane. “Work it out for yourself.”

The scene changed to the _Narada_ , where the counterpart-Jane was sat in the Captain’s chair. “Now _this_ is what I’m talking about! Bones, Scotty, have either of you been able to contact Spock?”

“I was able to get in contact,” said Scotty. “He’s coming with the _Enterprise_ to meet up with us. I didn’t tell him about the ship.”

“Good.” The counterpart-Jane smiled, but the smile wasn’t chilling; like Spock before, her expression had gone from ruthless to caring. “I want this to be a surprise.”

The _Enterprise_ arrived, before the image of Spock showed up on the screen. “ _Captain…is that…?_ ”

“It _is_ , Spock,” she said. “How about Scotty beam you and the crew over?”

The scene changed once again. Many members of the crew had joined them aboard the ship; Jane recognized Chekov, Sulu, Uhura, Lemli, Leslie, Kyle, Riley, Chapel, M’Benga, Landon and Masters, among many others. The counterpart-Jane and Spock were stood apart, and after retreating into a corner, they shared a passionate kiss.

“My body is as boundless as the sea,” said the counterpart-Jane. “My love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”

Spock smiled. “But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Jane is the sun.”

Jane looked at her elder counterpart. “Are they quoting _Shakespeare_ to each other?”

“Yes,” said the elder Jane with a smile. “My Spock had always been one for Shakespeare. Never one for musicals, though; the only one he liked was _Les Misérables_.” She turned to Jane. “Unless there was a drastic change, you like Shakespeare, too.”

Jane did, and was feeling _turned on_ at the thought of Spock quoting Shakespeare to her. She wondered how she’d never known before; she supposed it just never came up.

“I know our crew accepts this,” said the counterpart-Jane, “but I wish we could just tell everyone about us.”

“You know we will die,” said counterpart-Spock. “They already keep a close watch on me because of my heritage. It is thankful that my parents were already together before they forbid the unions…” He looked off to the side sadly.

The counterpart-Jane held his face in between her hands. “I have avenged my father. You mother will be avenged, too.”

“Interesting,” said the elder Jane. “Somehow the Romulan attack caused marriages between humans and Vulcans to be forbidden.”

“The Romulans are related to Vulcans,” Jane reminded her with a shrug.

Chekov then hurried over to the two lovers. “Keptin, I have discovered something most interesting. Zere is information in the _Narada_ database zat suggests ze imminent reappearance of ze same anomaly zat was detected when Nero first appeared.”

The counterpart-Jane and Spock followed him over to the screen. “What is the anomaly exactly?” asked the former.

“Ze data is in Romulan, but vith Uhura’s help I was able to translate it. Ze anomaly is in fact a kind of…vormhole – one from ze future.”

“A wormhole…” Spock thought. “It is logical. The advanced technology on this ship suggests no other conclusion, especially since no other advancement like this was found on Romulus when we invaded.”

“Didn’t stop us from killing them all,” said the counterpart-Jane off-handedly.

Jane flinched. “I don’t think I like this other reality.” The elder Jane only shushed her.

“Nero was logically planning to be there when the wormhole opened,” said Spock. “Perhaps he was awaiting more ships like this one.”

“In which case, I wanna be there. Set a course for the coordinates, Mr. Sulu.” The counterpart-Jane sat herself down in the big chair. “And Spock, give Mr. Hendorff back on the _Enterprise_ his orders; he’s to crash the ship into the Imperium headquarters.”

“Yes, Captain.”

The watching Janes exchanged glances as the scene began to fade out, but just before it did, they heard the counterpart-Jane say, “The end of the Imperium has begun.”

The two looked around when they reappeared; they were obviously still on the _Narada_ , but a little later. A familiar ship was in the hanger bay, and the crew were awaiting its passenger.

“So, I think I can understand what’s going on here,” said Jane. “This Jane and Spock want to be together, but because unions between Vulcans and humans are forbidden – brought into effect after the Romulan attack – they can’t. Spock’s mother was apparently killed, too. So now they want to end the Imperium in order to be together?”

“It appears so.” The elder Jane’s eyes were focussed on the smaller ship, and Jane turned to watch also.

The door opened, and an elderly Vulcan stepped off. It was the other Spock – but with the beard, like before. The counterpart-Jane looked between her Spock and this new Spock, before raising a phaser at him.

“Lemli, Leslie, secure this prisoner.”

The scene changed again and they were all sat around a table. All eyes were on the elderly Spock.

“It appears the arrival of the _Narada_ has changed history,” said the elderly Spock.

“You are me from the future,” Spock stated.

“A future which could have been, but now will not be because of what Nero has done.”

“Nero’s dead. I killed him myself.” The counterpart-Jane looked curiously at the elder Spock. “So tell us…what happened to you?”

The elder Spock sighed. “My Jane and I took over the Imperium. It took years, but we managed it together. I was first convinced to do so when I met another Jane; one from a kinder reality.”

“Me,” said the elder Jane, although no one but the younger Jane heard her.

“We worked hard to make that reality,” said the elder Spock. “And we did – for a time. But then the Terran Republic was attacked by Romulans, ones who we thought were on our side. They came…and they killed my Jane, along with our child.”

The other Spock held his Jane close. “You survived?”

“My Jane asked me to in order to take revenge. And I did.” The elder Spock sighed, averting his eyes down. “I disguised myself as a Romulan and planned my revenge. I built the _Jellyfish_ and created a substance called Red Matter. I was able to trick Nero into drilling a hole into the surface of Romulus before I then created a black hole at the centre. I destroyed the planet. But then I was pursued by Nero, and we were both pulled into the black hole. Nero went through first, but what was years for him was only moments for me.” He looked up at them again. “What has happened?”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about the Romulans; after they attacked the _ISS Kelvin_ , we killed them all,” said the counterpart-Jane. Then her expression darkened. “But as a result of the Romulan attack, unions between humans and Vulcans were forbidden. Spock is only here because he was born before it happened.”

“My mother was killed, however,” Spock added.

“I want to be with Spock,” the counterpart-Jane continued. “So we planned to bring the Imperium to its knees. We can do so with this ship, and the _Enterprise_ is on its way to Earth now to begin the end.”

The elderly Spock listened carefully before he nodded. “You may use my Red Matter. I would hate for you to lose each other as I lost my Jane.”

The scene changed, and the two Janes saw the counterpart-Jane and Spock alone.

“The _Enterprise_ crashed into the Imperium headquarters,” said the counterpart-Jane. “I warned Admiral Pike, and he escaped; he’ll join us soon.”

“It has truly begun.” Spock brought the counterpart-Jane close to him. “We will be together soon. We will have the child we always dreamed of.”

“Amanda Georgiana Kirk.” Their lips met, more gentle than before.

Jane could only watch, uncertain what to think about…anything, anymore. In three realities, she had fallen for Spock. It felt like destiny was making the choices for her, but at the same time, it just felt so _right_ that she didn’t care whether it was her choice or not.

The scene faded, and the two were back on the bridge of the _Enterprise_. Jane slowly sat down into the Captain’s chair.

“I don’t think it’s a matter of not having a choice,” said the elder Jane. “I think it’s just a matter of what always happens, no matter the universe. Our counterparts will make similar choices for themselves – one of them being the choice of Spock.”

“That still feels like a destiny,” said Jane.

“Maybe, but a wise man once told me – yes, that wise man was Spock – that we _choose_ our destinies for ourselves,” the elder Jane continued. “But you have to admit that, cliché as it sounds, there is almost something beautiful about this.”

“About what?”

The elder Jane smiled. “It appears that no matter the universe – no matter the reality – Spock and Kirk will be together. Maybe even in a universe where Spock is a woman and you’re a man; nothing will get in the way, and nothing will keep the two souls apart. That, my young counterpart, is the true meaning of ‘Love Transcends Space-Time’ – because it literally _has_.” 


	13. Private War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and the crew stumble across a planet that's more advanced than it should be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story arc I taken from the 'Countdown to Darkness' comic, which sort of combines two Original Series episodes; 'A Private Little War' and 'The Omega Glory'. I really didn’t like the latter episode because it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and while I liked the former its ending wasn’t very satisfying. Because of this, I made it so this incident here happened in the original timeline, too.

“Mr. Chekov, give me good news!”

“Our arrival at Phaedus is imminent, Keptin,” Chekov reported.

“Excellent.” Jane stretched herself out on the chair, yawning. She hadn’t slept much since glimpsing of the other reality, and it wasn’t because what she’d seen disturbed her.

She tried to ignore the knowledge that the first sign of being in love was lying awake at night, unable to sleep.

_I went through the same phase_ , her counterpart had informed her. _It’ll pass in time._

_I just wish it’ll pass sooner so I can get a decent night’s sleep_. “Mr. Sulu, park us just outside the planet’s rings.”

“Aye, Captain.”

The door of the turbo-lift opened, and Jane turned to see Spock enter. He wasn’t due on the bridge for another hour, but that wasn’t unusual – at least recently, and Jane knew why. “Mr. Spock, early again.”

“I thought it apt to be here upon our arrival above Phaedus,” said Spock.

Jane wasn’t fooled. “The nightmare again, huh?” He had told her about it some weeks before; he would go down to Vulcan alone, without her, in order to rescue the Council and his parents. But then his mother would plummet to her death and Spock would lose his Vulcan control… Jane rose from the chair and crossed the few steps that separated them. “She lived, Spock. She’s with your father on New Vulcan; you were in contact with her a week ago.”

Spock avoided eye contact with her. “Captain, the dream was different this time. Right before my mother fell she changed into someone else.”

“Who?”

“You.”

This caught Jane off guard, but before she could make a comment – if she were even still able to make one – Sulu spoke up. “Captain, we’re just pulling up above the planet. Should be on screen right about…now.” The planet appeared, and Jane found herself sighing at the sight of it.

“I can’t believe we came all this way and I can’t even get out to stretch my legs,” she commented. “It feels like I’ve been cooped up on this ship _forever_.”

Spock raised his eyebrow, as he always did. “Captain, we stopped at Starbase 11 three weeks ago. And as far as I am aware, three weeks is not ‘forever’.”

“It is with _this_ crew.”

“Besides,” Spock continued, “if you did indeed want to visit the planet, you will have to be prepared to violate the Prime Directive. Phaedus is a Class-M planet; the last survey by a Starfleet vessel was five years ago. It detected a level of civilization comparable to that of the Roman Empire in Earth’s history; population roughly 30 million, with the largest concentration in the southern hemisphere. It will most likely be several thousand years before they achieve the technological breakthroughs necessary to result in First Contact. Our stay will be short and uneventful.”

Jane sighed. “Spock, there’s still a lot you need to learn from Earth language and probability. Otherwise you’d know not to say that last line. _Ever_.”

“Captain, the likelihood of a few simple words changing the outcome of a chain of events in such a way is very low.”

“Keptin! I’m picking up something strange from ze planet!”

Jane raised an eyebrow at Spock. “You were saying?” She walked over to the young navigator. “What is it, Chekov?”

“Some sort of high-frequency energy field originating from ze surface,” he reported.

“Captain!” Uhura called from her station. “Whatever it is, it's interfering with the comms! We can’t broadcast or receive.”

“See, Spock?” Jane turned back to him. “This is what a few simple words can do to a situation. For instance, if I say ‘things couldn’t get any worse’…”

“ _Cap’n, it’s Scotty! I wouldn’t recommend using the transporters anytime soon!_ ”

Spock’s eyebrow rose higher while Jane’s smirk grew wider. “Like I said, you don’t use words like that. _Ever_. Mr. Chekov, see if you can pinpoint where the energy’s coming from on the surface. We’ll take a shuttle down to check it out.” Spock went to open his mouth, most likely to object, but Jane interrupted him before he even had the chance. “Last time I checked, Spock, the Roman Empire never shot high-frequency energy fields into Space. We’re checking it out; either someone gave this planet an evolutionary boost – in which case I would love to know _who_ and _why_ – or the planet’s inhabitants spontaneously skipped thousands of years’ worth of evolution by themselves within only _five_ years. Logically, Spock, which conclusion would it be?”

Spock just stared at her for a few moments before replying, “The former.”

“Exactly.” She gave his shoulder a friendly slap as she passed him, much like she’d done before when they’d decided to team up against Nero. Spock’s reaction was more or less the same; mild annoyance and bewilderment. “Besides, I don’t plan to attract any attention while we’re down there. I know that because _you’ll_ be coming with me.”

She stepped into the turbo-lift, and he reluctantly followed, but as the doors began to close Sulu hurried over and stopped them. “Captain, permission to join the away team? I know my first responsibility is to the bridge, and last time I was planet-side was when that whole _Archon_ thing went south, but I could pilot the shuttle and-”

“Mr. Sulu, you’re holding up the turbo-lift. Get in.” Jane smiled as her friend hopped in beside her. “Uhura, you have the conn.”

\---

“ _Captain, I’m not sure it’s wise for both you and Commander Spock to leave the ship when our communications with the surface are compromised._ ”

_Uhura makes a good point._

_I've been on this shuttle for a minute, and already people are trying to advise me about things. And other me, I didn’t ask for your help._ Jane tried not to sigh. _Unless you can tell me if this happened to you before, I’m gonna block you out._

_It did_ , said the other Jane. _I’ll explain as we go_.

“Captain, you have not acknowledged Lt. Uhura’s concern,” Spock spoke up.

Jane blinked back to the real world. “Uh…yeah, concern noted, Uhura. It’s a recon flight, remember?”

_It won’t be._

_Whenever you speak, it always comes with a sense of foreboding. Please stop._

_I can’t help it_.

Jane tried not to roll her eyes.

“Should we encounter any unforeseen obstacles, we will have no means of contacting the _Enterprise_ ,” Spock pointed out.

“Why is everyone always giving me the worst-case scenario?” Jane turned to Sulu. “Mr. Sulu, avoid any unforeseen obstacles.”

“With pleasure, Captain.”

Jane tried to ignore the raised eyebrow Spock was giving her as she addressed her counterpart, _So, what happened?_

_Are you two having your first domestic?_

_Shut up about that and tell me about your adventure on Phaedus._

_OK, so we flew down in a shuttle like you did-_

“Captain, I am detecting a small concentration of settlements two hundred kilometres ahead. I would advise setting down somewhere-”

“Spock!” Jane snapped. “I’m trying to have a conversation here!” She once again ignored his raised eyebrow, along with the puzzled looks from both Lemli and Leslie. _Carry on._

_We were on the shuttle, and all was going well until-_

There was the sudden sound of blaster fire and the ship shuddered. “What the hell was that?!” Jane demanded.

“Triangulating the origin of attack.” Spock tapped away at the computer.

Jane gripped her chair tightly. “As soon as you see a good place to put her down, Sulu-”

The ship was hit, resulting in it crashing into canyon walls before plummeting to the ground. Everyone was thrown from their seats when they landed, and Jane blacked out.

\---

“Captain? Captain, can you hear me?”

Jane awoke, and had barely begun to sit up when she said, “Report.”

“We are all alive,” said Spock, “but Mr. Sulu suffered a serious head wound that has left him concussed.” He nodded over to where Sulu was being supported by Lemli and Leslie. “Mr. Lemli stabilized him using the shuttle’s med-kit, but it is imperative that we take him to sickbay as soon as possible. Unfortunately the shuttle-”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” She allowed Spock to help her to her feet before she looked over at Sulu. “I should never have let Sulu come…”

“He knew the risks, as do we all,” said Spock.

“And recently those risks have been going over _your_ head.” She approached the two security officers. “How is he?”

“He’ll be out for a while,” said Lemli.

Jane nodded before following Spock, who had stepped outside the wreckage. “So what hit us?”

“Unclear, Captain.” He took out his tricorder. “I detected no readings from the surface prior to the attack, and I detect nothing at this time. Whoever the attackers are, they appear to be well camouflaged.” He turned to her. “What does your counterpart say on the matter?”

“She’d only just started explaining the story to me when we were attacked. Hold on.” Jane closed her eyes, searching for that familiar voice which was both annoying and comforting…

…and found nothing. She tried to access her counterpart again, but nothing happened. Her head wasn’t empty; Jane could still sense her there, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t talk to her.

“Captain?”

“Nothing,” said Jane. “She’s still there, but I can’t seem to talk to her. The bump on the head probably did it. I would go to sleep and try, but considering the circumstances…”

“Agreed.” Spock produced two phasers and handed one to her. “I would advise maintaining a defensive position inside the shuttle while we attempt to restore contact with the _Enterprise_.”

But Jane shook her head. “I’m not gonna just sit here and wait for them to come and finish us off. The sooner we know who and what we’re dealing with, the better. And if we take out that power source, we can communicate with the ship a whole lot sooner.”

“Captain.”

Jane turned…and saw that they were surrounded by insect-like natives. They were light blue in colour with four red eyes, and dressed in dark blue robes. “Oh, wonderful.”

One native stepped forwards and held up a small box. He spoke into it, and a voice came out. “ _Identify yourselves._ ”

“It is an older model of a Starfleet universal translator,” said Spock.

“Where did you get that?” Jane asked the native. “And where did you get those weapons?”

The native only repeated, “ _Identify yourselves._ ”

“Fine.” Jane sighed. “I’m Captain Jane T. Kirk of the Federation starship _Enterprise_. Now please tell me where you got your-”

“Settle down, Captain,” said a voice in the crowd. Jane spun in a circle in order to find the speaker. “I gave them their weapons, and the translator.” A human stepped out from the crowd, dressed in an old Starfleet uniform; his hair was grey, as was his beard, and he looked old and tired. “My name is Robert April; former Captain of a ship called the _Enterprise_.”

Jane stared at him in shock; she knew the name, and the man. He had been the subject of one of her lectures in Advanced Command Class – the same lecture which had stated the man to be dead. “You’re supposed to be dead; Captain Robert April died commanding the _Enterprise_ on a mission twenty years ago.”

“My death was greatly exaggerated,” said the older man. “So, how’s my ship doing?”

“That _Enterprise_ was decommissioned two years ago,” said Jane. “I got the new one – the one _I can’t get back to_ because you and your friends _blasted my shuttle out of the sky_.”

“That wasn’t us,” said Robert. “The ones who shot you down are the same ones we’re fighting against. You just dropped into the middle of a civil war, Kirk. Luckily you landed on the right side of it.”

There was a sudden explosion nearby, and the natives ran.

“And that’s the wrong side, I’m guessing?” Jane yelled over the noise.

“Dammit! Get down!” Robert dropped to the ground. “They’re right on top of us!”

Another explosion went off, and Spock tried to shield Jane from the blast. But she gently pushed him away. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, Spock, but focus on protecting yourself. I’m fine.”

“Cover’s this way! Follow me!” Robert took off at a run. “My men have your men, don’t worry.”

Jane and Spock reluctantly followed him into a canyon, where they hurried inside a cave. Before she realized what he was doing, Robert grabbed Jane’s phaser and used it to blast the entrance closed.

“You,” Jane snatched the phaser back, “are out of your mind.”

“Have a little faith in a fellow Captain, Kirk. This way.” He began to follow the cave’s route, and neither Jane nor Spock had any choice but to follow.

“So who attacked us out there?” asked the former.

“The rulers of this planet,” said Robert. “Same species as my friends, only far more aggressive.”

“So what are you doing here, Captain April?” asked Jane. “And why does Starfleet think you’re dead?”

Robert led them into an underground cavern, almost like a city, before he replied. “My story isn’t important. All that matters is that you’re here and you have the chance to make a difference to the lives of millions. You have a chance to save a world.”

“Enough poetry,” said Jane. “The truth, _now_.”

“The truth?” Robert sighed. “Twenty years ago, the starship _Enterprise_ arrived for a routine survey of this place; first Federation ship to visit. I’d been a Captain for ten years; felt more at home away from Earth than on it. But like I said, we could do a routine survey in our sleep. This was your basic Class-M planet with an Iron-Age civilization slowly wandering down the long road to First Contact. But then we saw the Shadows.”

“Shadows?” Jane questioned.

“The dominant race on the planet,” Robert continued. “Same species as the locals you’ve already met. Only difference was their colour; they were a darker shade of blue. That’s always been a good enough excuse, right? Whatever planet you’re from. Earth should know. We watched the latest episode of an on-going genocide – but watch was all we could do. The Prime Directive; thou shall not interfere in the affairs of, nor make your existence known to, any civilization that has not evolved to the point of interstellar travel of its own accord. But what it really means is: we can only _watch_ , no matter what happens down there. Here; a video clip of what happened.”

He handed Jane a PADD, but when she played the video… “Those are…are…”

“Children, yes,” said Robert. “The ones which the Shadows don’t eat are kept as pets.” He averted his gaze. “I was no Ensign; I’d seen my fair share of carnage over the years, watching native populations working out their societal kinks. But that day, something was different. Not with the situation, but with _me_. I waited for the right moment. I didn’t tell anyone. Gave the conn to my First Officer and told him I was spending a quiet hour in my quarters. I threw as many weapons and as much tech together as I could manage, pulled rank on the poor Ensign on transporter duty…and without a second thought, I snapped the Prime Directive in half like a stick.”

Jane didn’t know what to say. She knew there were things about the Prime Directive she didn’t agree on, and probably never would. But this… Seeing what happened to those children and knowing that many had been spared because of this man, she wasn’t mad at him anymore. “You saved them.”

He sighed. “I saved _enough_. And I gave them enough Starfleet toys to mount a counter-offensive against an enemy that was on the brink of wiping them out.”

Jane smiled a little, but Spock wasn’t so happy about it. “Captain April, you committed the most egregious possible violation of the Prime Directive. According to protocol, your First Officer should have relieved you from command and detained you for dereliction of duty. The ship would be required to return to Earth immediately for your Court Martial. And yet, here you are.”

“Spock, the guy saved kids, and that’s all you can think about? This is why I worry about you sometimes.”

Robert looked between them with a slight smile. “Tell me, Kirk; how’s your relationship with your First Officer here?”

Jane’s eyes almost widened. “My…relationship? Uh…” It was only when she realized that he didn’t mean romantically that she calmed – a little. “It’s…evolving. We haven’t been working together for that long. But so far, so good, with hope for, err, a lot more.” _Ugh! Why did I say that?! I’m glad the other me didn’t hear that_. “Right…Commander?”

“I would agree with your assessment, Captain.” He turned to look at her, and Jane could have sworn she saw a brief flash of emotion in his eyes. “It is evolving.”

Robert smiled. “I hope it ends up as strong as the one I had. My First Officer was a man named Alexander Marcus.”

“Admiral Marcus?” said Jane.

“Ah, so he’s moved up in the world.” He smiled again. “Truth is, he was more than my First Officer; he was my closest friend, which is probably why he didn’t try to detain me. Instead he let me go. Probably decided to tell everyone I was dead; the crew, Starfleet, the few estranged relatives I had left back on Earth… The fact that you’re here now believing I’d died is proof that Alex never broke my trust.”

“So you went native,” said Jane. “You stayed here, made yourself at home, and you’ve been leading an alien rebellion ever since?”

“It almost sounds noble when you put it like that,” said Robert. “I just saw a problem I couldn’t turn my back on.”

“But the Starfleet weapons and technology you have provided…” Spock began. “They are here in amounts far greater than the events you described would suggest. If Starfleet is unaware of your presence here, how did you acquire additional supplies?”

“The galaxy’s a big place,” Robert replied. “I had help from a family of smugglers; the Mudds. In fact the daughter, Harriet, should be by any day now with the latest.”

\---

“What am I looking at? I told you I wanted to see my men.” Jane squinted as she looked through the binoculars across the surface of the planet.

“And I’m showing them to you,” said Robert. “Zoom in and look again.”

So Jane did, and saw an army of Shadows in the distance. “Wait, there’s an army sitting out there!”

“Yes, they shot you down,” said Robert. “And they’re the ones that have your friends.”

Jane spun around so quickly she almost lost her balance. Her eyes were full of rage, and Robert had to take a step back from her. “You said _your men_ had them!”

“And would you have followed if I had said anything else?”

She threw the binoculars at him. “Dammit, April!”

“I need your help, Kirk,” Robert tried to explain. “That army is their final push to wipe us all out. All that’s left of my people are in these caves, and only _you_ can save them. The Shadows can’t withstand bombardment from a Starship-”

“I'm not using the _Enterprise_ to wipe out an army who shouldn’t even know we _exist_!” yelled Jane. “And fighting fire with fire is not the way to solve this problem! If I’m fighting any war, it’s _only to get my men back_ – and if I have time, I’m coming back for _you_ in order to take you back to Earth. Spock, let’s go.”

But when she turned around, he was gone. It only took seconds for her to guess where he’d gone.

“Spock…? No…” A feeling of dread routed her feet to the ground, and for the first time, she wished she could contact her counterpart.

_I need help…_


	14. Mudd's Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conflict is resolved, but not everyone is satisfied with the outcome...

“I’m going after Spock. And if you try and stop me, April, I’ll hand you ass back to you on a golden platter.” Jane took out a large gun from one of the many crates scattered about in the caves.

“You’re just throwing good money after bad, Captain,” said Robert.

“Would you do the same if that was your First Officer running headlong into a camp full of armed…things?!” He didn’t have a response to that. “Exactly. And I didn’t ask for your advice. You shouldn’t have lied to me about Sulu, Lemli and Leslie in the first place!”

“I made a tactical decision, Kirk. I need your help.”

“Don’t repeat yourself; you sound like a computer.” She thought of Spock, running headlong into danger… _I’m coming, Spock. Don’t get yourself killed before I get there…_

A native arrived and said something to Robert in his own language. “Good, I’ll be right there,” said Robert in response.

“What’s going on?” asked Jane.

“That delivery I mentioned earlier,” said Robert. “It’s arrived.”

\---

It was dark outside when the shuttle landed, and when the door opened out stepped a blonde woman who looked younger than Jane. _She must be Harriet Mudd_ , Jane realized. _Wonder if the other me knows her_. Behind the woman, Uhura appeared with Charlene Masters.

“You took your sweet time,” said Robert to the blonde woman. “Did you get everything I asked for?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She waved her hand. “Me and my old man got it all. He would have come too, but he had another delivery to make to this mining planet. This is gonna be expensive, Bobby; it’s getting harder and harder to find this ammo, not to mention smuggling it across the quadrant. The bad news is that it’s all in my shuttle, currently being held on the _Enterprise_ ; something about violating a fancy directive…”

“That’s enough, Mudd.” Uhura turned to Jane. “Captain, what happened?”

“Our shuttle was shot down,” said Jane. “Spock and I were separated from the others, and then we ran into our new _friend_ here. Meet Robert April. Yes, _that_ Robert April. Long story, as it always is. Sulu, Lemli and Leslie were captured by the army April’s fighting.”

“Captured?” Charlene questioned.

“We’ll get them all back,” Jane assured her.

“And where’s Spock?” asked Uhura.

“He ran off to rescue them – without asking me, too.” Jane sighed in frustration. “I was about to go after him with twenty guns on my back before you arrived.”

“He went alone?” Uhura looked worried; she and Spock had developed a sibling-like relationship during the time when she’d been his aide at the Academy. “Captain, if you’re still going after him, I wish to come, too.”

“I’m coming, as well,” said Charlene. “We can take the shuttle; Monty’s been teaching me how to fly one.”

“Wait, you’re going in _that_ thing?” Mudd gestured to the shuttle. “They’ll just blow you out of the sky again!”

“We’ll have to risk it,” said Jane.

“Kirk,” Robert placed a hand upon her shoulder, “if you do this I can’t go with you. My people need me here.”

“Yeah, but mine need _me_. And recall that I said I’d been taking you in? Both of you. On the shuttle. _Now_.”

\---

“I can’t believe he did it _again_.”

“Who did what again, Captain?” Uhura sent Jane a questioning look.

Jane sighed. “Sorry, you weren’t supposed to hear that. I was talking about Spock. He risked himself unnecessarily. He’s been doing it a lot over the past year; it’s like he’s looking for an opportunity to _sacrifice_ himself!”

“I’ve noticed too, Jane,” said Uhura, dropping formalities. “You don’t suppose…?”

“I _don’t_ suppose. I _know_ , Ny,” said Jane. “He still hasn’t dealt with his grief over Vulcan. But I can’t get him to admit to it; I can only see the hints and help him anyway I can.” She hit the seat of the shuttle. “What’s more is that these are _emotional_ decisions, and he tries to cover them up with _logic_. He’s gonna get himself killed – hopefully not if I can help it.”

“I could try talking to him,” Uhura offered. “He seemed to listen to me back at the Academy.”

“I would appreciate it, Ny.” There was a moment of silence before Jane realized… “Uhura, I left you with the conn back on the ship. If you’re down here, who’s in charge up there?”

“Dr. McCoy.”

“ _Bones?!_ You left _Bones_ in charge of the _Enterprise_?!”

Before Uhura could explain, Charlene reported, “Captain, I can see them! They’re being fired upon!”

“Then fire back!”

Charlene took aim and fired at the Shadows, before landing the shuttle in between their comrades and the enemy. The four officers didn’t waste time in hurrying onto the shuttle.

“Spock?” Jane spoke up.

“Yes, Captain?”

“If you ever run off like that again, I’ll tie a leash around your neck and secure the other end to the science station. I’m dead serious.”

\---

“Never thought I’d set foot on a Starfleet vessel again,” Robert commented. He was sat next to Mudd in the DSS Room, opposite Jane and Spock. “She certainly looks worthy of the name _Enterprise_. So, is this where you arrest me as a deserter and fly me back to San Francisco?”

“No. Not now, anyway,” said Jane. “You _will_ be taken in, Captain April. But like you, I just can’t stand by and watch your people die. I can offer food and supplies, but that’s all. First, however, we have a few questions. Mr. Spock?”

Spock held up a piece of technology. “This is a Klingon tricorder. I recovered it from the body of one of the soldiers in the enemy camp. Furthermore, within the camp I observed a number of weapons of Klingon origin. It would appear that the Klingons have made contact with the indigenous population and are supplying their efforts to defeat your side.”

Robert sighed. “I know.”

“Then why didn’t you tell us?!” Jane demanded.

“Because if you thought it was only the Shadows, you would help,” he replied. “But if I told you it was a proxy war – a Starfleet Captain staging a one-man war against an army backed by the Klingons… Do I need to continue?”

“No.” She shook her head. “If the Klingons want Phaedus, why don’t they just invade?”

“Because they don’t have to,” said Robert. “All they need to do is back the winning side of a civil war, and when it’s won they swoop in and plant their flag. Instant colony.”

“That’s a different approach to their usual,” Jane admitted. “But then again, they aren’t stupid. They can’t spread their forces too thin. And they’re saving their best for the real fight…which must be us.”

“Exactly.”

“Alright, that’s a lot to think about.” _And I wish I could contact my counterpart again_. Jane rose from her seat. “April, I need you and Mudd to report to sickbay. Dr. McCoy wants to make sure we didn’t miss something when you passed through quarantine. I’ll meet you there shortly.”

Robert and Mudd left. Spock went to follow, but Jane laid a hand on his arm to prevent him. “Spock, I need to talk to you.”

“And I you, Captain.” He sat back down in his seat. “My failure to consult with you before my attempt to rescue Sulu, Lemli and Leslie-”

“ _It was completely out of line!_ ” Jane yelled. “I know your planet’s gone, Spock, and I grieve with you. But that’s no excuse for you to risk your life every chance you get because you don’t know how to cope with it! You’re acting on your emotions, Spock, and that’s not you!”

Spock looked confused. “Forgive me, Captain, but I made what I thought was the logical decision. I weighed the risks of attempting a rescue with the idea of doing nothing and possibly leaving Sulu, Lemli and Leslie to be tortured for information, or worse. As stealth was critical to a successful rescue, it was logical that one of us would have a better chance of avoiding detection than both of us together. In addition, given that my Vulcan physiology grants me a superior level of strength and endurance, it was best that I go instead of you. I went without asking you because I knew you would not let me go alone and would insist upon coming.”

Jane could only stare. _Damn, the bastard makes a good logical argument._

_That’s Spock for you._

_Hey, you’re back!_

_I never left. I just couldn’t talk to you. By the way, I heard that comment you made about Spock_.

Jane rolled her eyes, which Spock noticed. “Captain?”

“My counterpart’s returned,” she explained. “And about time, too.”

_Jane, you need to secure Robert April. You can’t trust him. It’ll take me too long to explain; get to sickbay now!_

Jane immediately leapt to her feet, and Spock followed. “Captain, what is it?”

“We need to get to sickbay!” She ran out the room with Spock behind her, and both were able to reach sickbay in under a minute. “Bones!”

“Jane!” McCoy exclaimed. “Glad to see you aboard. About time; I didn’t like being in charge.”

“Bones, where’s Captain April?” Jane looked around; she couldn’t see them anywhere…

“Haven’t seen him, or that Mudd girl he brought with him.” McCoy shrugged. “Let’s hope they’re not infecting the crew with some kind of Phaeden flu.”

_Crap! Get to the bridge! It’s the only other place he’d go!_

“Spock! Bridge! Now!” The two ran towards the bridge, but upon arrival to the turbo-lift, the door refused to open. “April, if you can hear me, what the hell’s going on?!”

“ _You’ve been relieved of command, Kirk._ ”

Jane kicked the door. “Computer, this is Captain Kirk! Unlock all turbo-lifts!”

“ _Access denied._ ”

“Computer, acknowledge voice-print command; Captain Kirk, Jane Tiberia!”

“ _Access denied._ ”

Jane went to kick the door again, but Spock moved her aside. “Computer, this is Commander Spock. Request current status of ship-wide system controls.”

“ _Ship-wide controls are under the command of Captain April._ ”

Jane and Spock exchanged glances before taking off at a run down the halls. “It would appear that April has somehow bypassed the security protocols for the central computer,” said the latter.

“Scotty, can you hear me?!” Jane yelled through the comms. “What the hell’s going on?!”

“ _He’s locked us out, Cap'n! He used some kind of sleeper program to get control of all systems!_ ”

“ _Bravo…Scotty, is it?_ ” came Robert’s voice. “ _Given that you’re the first one Kirk asked over the comms, I’m assuming that you’re the Chief Engineer. And a good one you must be, because you’re exactly right. I had this control program built into the computer of the previous Enterprise; my Enterprise. It was a fail-safe in the event that an enemy force took control of the ship. Even if they wiped out my crew, I could retain control of the central computer and all ship systems. No one could take my ship. I gambled that the same fail-safe was duplicated into this new ship, and that my old command code would still work. Lo and behold…_ ”

_Well…this is new._

_This didn’t happen to you?_

_No. We dealt with Robert April on the surface. He never set foot up here apart from in the brig. He can’t be trusted, which was why I tried to get you to catch him_.

“ _I’m sorry, Kirk,_ ” Robert continued. “ _But I need this ship more than you do. A few phaser rifles aren’t enough to win a war. But a starship against a ground-based army of savages… well, that’s enough to stop a genocide._ ”

“April!” Jane tried. “Something happened while you were gone. You can’t prevent genocide by committing one, yourself! Don’t do this!”

“ _Internal communications disabled._ ”

Jane and Spock continued to engineering where they met up with Scotty. Charlene was with him. “Scotty, get us our ship back!”

“We’re working on it, Cap’n, but we’ve never seen a program like this!” he reported.

Spock took a look at the screen. “I concur with Mr. Scott, Captain. I am unfamiliar with the code that April had unlocked within the ship’s mainframe.”

“We need to act quickly, otherwise that maniac will start a galactic war!”

“But he’s locked us out of everything, Cap’n!” said Scotty. “He controls it all from the bridge!”

“Then we take the bridge.” _I know this never happened to you, but if you have any ideas, I would appreciate it._

_He may have captained the Enterprise, but this isn’t his Enterprise. And unlike the Enterprise before it, this ship has a Jefferies tube which runs right over the bridge. You can slip through there_.

Jane looked around and saw the entrance to the tube system. “Spock, help me with this!” Together they pulled the lid off. “The other me said there’s a tube which goes right over the bridge – one which wasn’t on the _Enterprise_ before this one, meaning April shouldn’t know about it.”

“Then we can take him by surprise.” Spock crawled in. “I can use my tricorder to track our progress.”

“Both of you keep working on it,” Jane said to Scotty and Charlene, before she followed after her First Officer. “Might have been better to send Keenser instead.”

“His small size would be an advantage in these tubes,” said Spock in response, “but when it comes to physically apprehending April-”

“Joke, Spock. It was a joke.” She rolled her eyes. There were times when Spock’s weird sense of humour amused her, but other times it just annoyed her. This was one of the latter times.

Spock opened up a hatch and stepped out, and Jane followed, only to find they were not on the bridge, but in a crowded room of officers. McCoy, Uhura, Chekov, Sulu, Lemli, Leslie, Kyle, Riley, M’Benga, Chapel, Landon; all of them were there, along with a few extras.

“Hi, everybody,” Jane said as cheerfully as she could. “We appear to be experiencing technical difficulties, but the ride should be working again shortly.”

“We heard over the comm,” said Uhura.

“April subdued us and locked us in here,” said Sulu. “I hope you have a plan, Captain.”

“We _did_.” She turned to Spock. “Spock, I thought we were heading to the bridge?”

“Logically, we should have back-up in order to re-take the bridge.”

“Fine.” She turned back to the others. “Lemli, Leslie, Sulu, the three of you are on the attack team. Kyle, crawl through the tubes and make your way back to engineering to help Scotty and Masters. Uhura, Chekov, Riley, Landon and all other bridge crew follow after us and be prepared to take your stations. Everyone else, stay put.”

“Jane,” McCoy called over from the window, “you better come and see this.”

Jane hurried over…and her mouth dropped. “Oh, he did _not_ do what I think he did.”

There was a Klingon warbird in front of them.

\---

“If we go up this ladder, we should reach the bridge.” Spock began to climb, and Jane followed. Sulu, Lemli and Leslie were behind her, and after a pause, the rest of the bridge crew appeared.

Suddenly the lights shut off and everything went red. “Scotty, can you hear me?” Jane called.

“ _Aye, Cap’n! The comms are working again! I’m sorry, Cap’n, but there was only one option left to free the ship; we had to turn off the Enterprise. The warp core, more specifically, which took the central computer along with it. Hopefully when they’re back online we’ll have control again._ ”

“That’s great Scotty,” said Jane, “but there’s a Klingon ship parked off our bow!”

“ _How were we supposed to know that?! Don’t worry; we’ll be back online again in a few minutes._ ”

“Fine.” Jane looked up at Spock. “Hurry.”

They moved faster, and upon reaching the bridge, Spock kicked the hatch open and leapt out. Jane was right behind him, along with Sulu, Lemli and Leslie. They all pointed their phasers at Robert and Mudd.

_Just be thankful you don’t have to deal with Harriet’s father_ , said Jane’s counterpart.

“It is over, April,” said Spock. “Surrender.”

“I’m trying to save an entire people!” Robert yelled. “This is just one ship!”

“And it’s _my_ ship.” Jane fired, stunning Robert, while Spock fired and stunned Mudd.

The lights flickered back on, just as the rest of the bridge crew crawled out of the tube and took their stations. “Computer, confirm voice-print command; Captain Kirk, Jane Tiberia.”

“ _Voice-print command confirmed, Captain._ ”

“Shields up. Chekov, Sulu, get us outta here!”

\---

“April’s insane. Thinking war with the Klingons is inevitable?”

_It’s not_ , the other Jane spoke up. _We will make peace with them someday_.

Jane smiled, and when she noticed Spock looking at her, she said, “Well, at least we got Mudd’s ship; might come in handy.”

“Indeed, Captain. But I sense that something is still bothering you. Has your counterpart informed you of something?”

“No.” She shook her head. “It’s just…at the end of the day, April was _right_. The light coloured Phaedans were on the brink of extinction, Spock. And we just left them back there to die. I put in a request to Admiral Pike to send some form of aid, if only to kick the Klingons off the planet, but I doubt Starfleet will send anyone. What are we doing out here – what is _Starfleet_ doing out here – if we don’t prevent that kind of tragedy wherever we can?”

“But the Prime Directive-”

“I’m sick of hearing about the Prime Directive,” said Jane. “And that’s not all I want to say to you; I want you to make me a promise, Spock.”

“A promise, Captain?”

“Yes.” She came to a halt and stood before him. “No more risks. No more sacrifices. No more running off on your own. I don’t care if you think it’s the logical thing to do, or if you’re just using that excuse to cover up your emotional responses. You have a family here that needs you, Spock. _I_ need you.”

She laid a gentle hand upon his arm, awaiting his response. She could feel his conflicting emotions; she saw the hesitance in his eyes as he looked at the hand upon his shoulder before his gaze met hers.

“I promise, Jane.” 


	15. The Nibiru Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Enterprise crew saves a planet from extinction, but the fallout of the mission is worse than Jane could've imagined...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the 'Into Darkness' arc begins.

_I’m almost glad this never happened to me in my timeline. I’d be very embarrassed right about now._

_Your comments aren’t helping me get away from the angry natives any faster!_

Entirely covered in a blue robe, Jane sprinted through the red and while undergrowth of Nibiru, scroll in hand, and with angry natives behind her. While part of her knew that this had been the only option, another part of her just wanted to _get the hell out of there_.

To think, a week ago she and her senior officers had been sat in the DSS Room, having just been informed of the planet’s erupting volcano. “How long?” she had asked.

“A week, Captain,” Spock had stated. “But the Prime Directive-”

“Spock, I don’t wanna hear it,” Jane had snapped, a little more harshly than she should have done. “If the magnitude of this volcano is as you say, the species on the planet will die. I don’t wanna use your current state against you, Spock, but do you wanna see that happen?”

His silence had been enough of an answer for her, and for once she’d welcomed his emotional responses to situations. They’d talked for hours, trying to figure out a way to best handle the situation. Eventually they had decided upon using a cold fusion device built by Scotty and Charlene to stop the eruption – the reaction both freezing the lava and then sealing the crack where the lava was escaping – which Spock would lower into the volcano. Jane hadn’t been enthusiastic about sending him, but she’d agreed that he would be able to take the heat better than anyone else.

As for how he would get inside the volcano, Jane had assigned Sulu and Uhura to pilot a shuttle there. And when Spock brought up the problem of the natives seeing them, Jane had offered for herself and McCoy to lead them away from the kill zone, which would also keep them safe from the eruption, she reasoned.

Running through the exotic jungle, Jane was beginning to rethink her decision to lead the natives away in such a manner.

Suddenly a large creature reared up in front of her, and with a cry of shock, Jane instinctively took out her phaser and stunned it. _And if things couldn’t get any worse…_

_That was an innocent creature._

_After what happened on the cold Delta Vega and the Tribble planet, can you blame me?_

Only then did she notice McCoy standing behind it, dressed in the same blue robes she was wearing. He threw up his arms in annoyance before pulling back his hood. “Dammit, Jane! That was our ride! _You just stunned our ride!_ ”

 _What?_ Jane pulled back her hood as well to take a closer look, annoyed with herself and ignoring the ‘told you so’ comments her counterpart was making. She then remembered the angry natives still chasing her, so quickly continued running. McCoy, suddenly noticing them as well, ran after her.

“What the hell did you take?” yelled McCoy.

Jane ducked to avoid a spear getting thrown at her head. “I have no idea, but they were bowing to it!” It was really as good excuse as any, and certainly got their attention. After looking over her shoulder a second time, Jane took out her communicator in order to contact Spock’s team. “Kirk to shuttle one; the locals are out of the kill zone! You’re clear, I repeat! Spock, go neutralize the volcano so we can get outta here!”

“ _Captain, did the indigenous life forms see you?_ ”

Jane rolled her eyes. _Bones and I are trying to avoid being killed by natives, a volcano is close to exploding, and that’s all he can think about?!_ “No, Spock! They didn’t!”

“ _The Prime Directive clearly states-_ ”

“I know, Spock! I know!” She didn’t want to sound irritated with him, but under the great amount of stress, she really couldn’t help it. “Which is why Bones and I are running through the jungle wearing disguises! Now drop off your super ice cube and let’s go! Kirk out!” She slapped her communicator closed, and after looking over her shoulder again she realized that the natives were closer than before. “Dammit!”

“They’re trying to kill us!” McCoy yelled. “They’re trying to kill us, Jane!”

“Gee, thank you, Dr. Obvious McCoy, for that brilliant observation! I would never have guessed that!”

_He states the obvious whenever he panics._

_I don’t blame him. I’m panicking right now, too!_ Upon seeing a low branch up ahead, Jane unravelled the scroll and hung it up, before continuing to run with McCoy. Upon looking over her shoulder, she saw that the natives had stopped chasing them and were bowing before the parchment. “C’mon, let’s get outta here!”

“ _Captain, it’s Sulu. I’m ditching the shuttle. You’re gonna have to find your own way back to the ship._ ”

“Wonderful!”

“Jane, the beach is that way!” McCoy pointed to their left, as the two continued to run forwards.

“We’re not going to the beach!” It would take too long, she knew, for the _Enterprise_ was further away. But if they kept going towards the cliff…

McCoy realized where they were heading. “I hate this!”

“I know you do!” They leapt off the cliff and into the water below. They ditched the robes once under, and using their swim suits they were able to propel themselves along towards the _Enterprise_. The airlock opened for them, and they hung on inside as the water drained out.

The door opened, and Jane was met with an irritated Scotty, with Charlene behind him. “Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to hide a starship at the bottom of the ocean?”

Jane understood that it was unorthodox, and that it would ruin the paintwork on the outside, but there hadn’t been much choice. The mission was risky, and she’d wanted the _Enterprise_ to be close in case anything went wrong. And if Sulu’s words were anything to go by, something had.

She ignored Scotty’s further protests and instead asked, “Where’s Spock?”

“Still in the volcano,” said Charlene.

Jane didn’t let him say anything else; she was past him in an instant, running back to the bridge still in her swimsuit. McCoy followed closely behind her, and behind him Scotty and Charlene. _He promised he wouldn’t do this again…_

 _Technically you assigned him to this_ , said her counterpart. _You took advantage of his recent emotional responses and used them to make him agree with this._

 _I know_ , Jane admitted. _But he should have got outta there the moment he realized it was too dangerous!_

_But would he have done so?_

Jane reluctantly agreed. After his initial disagreement and bringing up the Prime Directive, Spock had become the most desperate to save the Nibiru species. Jane knew it was because of what had happened on Vulcan, and she felt guilty for not only bringing up the issue with the other officers present, but for using it against him.

“Keptin on ze bridge!” Chekov announced as Jane ran in with McCoy, Scotty and Charlene behind her.

Jane didn’t miss a beat. “Uhura, do we have an open channel to Mr. Spock?”

“The heat’s frying his comms, but we still have contact.”

Immediately Jane switched the channel on. “Spock!”

“ _I have activated the device, Captain. When the countdown is complete, the reaction should render the volcano inert._ ”

“Yeah, and it’s gonna render _him_ inert!” McCoy voiced.

Jane took in several deep breaths; she was trying to keep her cool, trying not to lose it… “Do we have use of the transporters?” she asked.

“Not with zese magnetic fields,” said Chekov.

Jane ignored Scotty’s panicked look at seeing a large fish as she said, “I need to beam Spock back to the ship. Give me one way to do it, Chekov.”

The young Ensign thought. “Maybe if ve have a direct line of sight-”

Scotty interrupted. “Hold on, wee man! You're talking about an active volcano!” He turned to Jane. “Cap’n, if that thing erupts, I canne guarantee we can withstand the heat!”

“I don’t think we can maintain that kind of altitude,” Sulu added.

_Were they this negative about situations in your timeline?_

_Depended on the day_.

“ _Our shuttle was concealed by the ash cloud, but the Enterprise is too large,_ ” Spock explained. “ _If utilized in a rescue effort it will be revealed to the indigenous species._ ”

 _If I get him back, I’m gonna strangle him_. Jane thumped both hands on the helm in frustration. “Spock, no one knows the rules better than you, but there has to be an exception.”

“ _None. Such action violates the Prime Directive._ ”

McCoy was getting just as frustrated as Jane, she noticed. “Shut up, Spock! We’re trying to _save_ you, dammit!”

“ _Doctor, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few_.”

_No… Jane, get him outta there! Now!_

“Spock, we’re talking about your _life_!” Jane's voice was desperate, and she blinked in an effort to get rid of the tears beginning to form in her eyes. If she lost Spock… She didn’t know what she would do without him.

“ _The rules cannot be broken-_ ” The transmission cut off and went static.

“Spock!” Her heart felt heavier than it had ever felt before, and a throat suddenly hurt. She composed herself as best she could before turning to Uhura. “Get him back online.” She watched as her friend hurried to her station, just as desperate as she felt.

“Ninety seconds to detonation,” said Chekov.

Jane straightened herself. “If I was there and he was here, what would he do?”

“He’d let you die.” McCoy’s voice held no emotion, and while Jane didn’t want to believe his words, if Spock’s actions were anything to go by…

Jane reached up and touched the white chess piece under her swim suit, which she’d finally decided to hang around her neck. She didn’t know what had compelled her to do so, and she’d ignored her counterpart’s teasing on the matter. After the risks Spock had taken over the past year, and knowing that he could die on his mission inside the volcano… She wanted part of him with her.

She gripped the piece tightly, screwed her eyes shut…before opening them with a new look of determination. “Mr. Sulu, take us out of the water. Get us level. Mr. Chekov, tell Mr. Kyle to be ready.”

The two men exchanged glances, but didn’t argue as they did as ordered as quickly as they could. Water was sent splashing as the ship rose out of the ocean, and Jane kept her focus on the screen; she didn’t think about how she was violating the Prime Directive, or about anything else for that matter. Her attention was on Spock, and getting him out of there alive.

Once the _Enterprise_ was out of the water, it sped towards the volcano as the countdown continued on the screen. At the last moments, Jane took off at a run and headed for the transporter room, McCoy close on her heels.

“Spock!” She didn’t stop running until she saw him, safe and sound, on the transporter pad. She wanted to leap and hug him, while telling him to never do anything like that again, but knew that his suit needed to cool down. She almost settled for hugging Lt. Kyle instead, but thought better of it.

Spock, despite being alive and well, didn’t look impressed. “Captain, you let them see our ship.”

“He’s fine,” McCoy said in frustration before leaving in a huff.

“ _Captain, is Mr. Spock on board?_ ” came Uhura’s voice over the comms.

“Yes, he is,” Jane replied.

“ _Tell him the device has been successfully detonated,_ ” Charlene finished.

She hoped this would take his mind off the violation. “Hear that, Spock? You just saved the world.”

“You violated the Prime Directive.”

Jane wanted to snap at him; she wanted to rip him out of his suit, lock him in the brig and leave him there so he could never put himself in danger again. She wanted to yell at him for breaking his promise to her…but she was tired, as they all were, and frankly she didn’t have the energy.

“Oh, come on, Spock! They saw us! Big deal!”

_Didn’t you give him a lecture on tempting fate before?_

_Go away and just be happy I saved him_.

\---

“This could be a blessing in disguise.”

“OK, _how_ could this _remotely_ be a blessing in disguise?” Jane asked her counterpart. They were on the dream bridge of the _Enterprise_ , and Jane had just let out a lecture about Spock and his disregard for his own life.

The elder Jane shrugged in response. “You’re angry at him because he risked his life, meaning he could’ve died. You care about him a lot.”

“Are you really going to bring this up _now?_ ”

“I’m just saying-”

“Well _don’t!_ ” Jane snapped. “Everything’s bad enough as it is, and the last thing I need is _you_ constantly hinting at my feelings towards him!”

“Your feelings for him? Are you admitting-?”

Jane grabbed a random PADD and threw it at her counterpart; the other Jane ducked to avoid it. She then went to grab another PADD to throw, but a beeping sound interrupted them.

“I’m getting hailed,” Jane realized, moments before the sound woke her up and she groggily sat up in bed. It was still night, and with effort she reached for her communicator.

When she saw who was contacting her, she sighed but answered. “Spock, I’m trying to sleep. I know you Vulcans don’t need as much sleep-”

“ _Captain, Admiral Pike wishes to see us._ ”

“Now?”

“ _In the morning._ ”

Jane turned and looked out the window, noted how dark it was, before turning back to look at the time. 2:00. “Spock, why didn’t you wait to tell me that at a _decent_ hour?”

\---

“You do that again, Spock, and I’ll make you clean up after the crew during lunch hour.” While she was annoyed that he’d contacted her so early, that was cancelled out by her excitement of the meeting. “Still, at least this’ll be about the five-year mission. It’s why he called; I can feel it.”

The two of them walked across Starfleet’s headquarters in uniform. Spock, she noticed, was as stoic as he always was, but Jane could tell that he looked sceptical of her conclusion. “You feeling aside, I find it highly unlikely that we will be selected for the new program.”

“But why else would Pike wanna see us?” Spock didn’t answer; it was almost like he was hiding something, but Jane chose to ignore that and continued. “They gave us the newest ship in the fleet; who else would they pick?”

“I can think of numerous possibilities.”

“A five-year mission, Spock!” Jane jumped with excitement, and part of her wondered what the other officers around them would think; seeing a young woman full of excitement walking with a man who showed no excitement at all. “That’s deep Space; that’s uncharted territory!” She then leaned in closer. “The other me told me about all her adventures; it sounds like fun!”

“Our jobs at Starfleet are not supposed to be fun.”

“Fascinating, then.” Spock raised an eyebrow at her choice of words as they entered the building.

They made their way up to Pike’s office, and upon entry, Pike said nothing and only nodded in greeting. It was after a moment of pause that he said, “Uneventful.”

“Admiral?” Jane frowned in confusion.

“That’s how you described your mission to Nibiru in you Captain’s log.”

She nodded. “Yes, sir. I didn’t wanna waste your time.”

“Tell me more about this volcano.” Jane felt her stomach drop, and she wondered if he knew. And if he did, then how? “Our data told us it was highly active, just itching to erupt.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t, sir.”

“Something tells me it won’t.”

Jane sighed in an attempt to keep her cool. “Well, sir, maybe our data was off…”

“Or maybe it didn’t erupt because Mr. Spock detonated a cold fusion device inside it, right after a civilization that’s _barely_ invented the _wheel_ happened to see a _starship_ rising out of their oceans!” He turned to Spock. “That’s pretty much how you described it in your report, is it not?”

Jane turned to him, wide eyed. _If I wasn’t angry at him before…_ “You filed a report?” She didn’t yell, and instead her voice was filled with disbelief and betrayal. _Did you hear that, other me?_

There was no reply, even though Jane knew she was listening in. She could only assume the other her was just as shocked as she was.

Upon her question of why he didn’t tell her, Spock replied, “I incorrectly assumed that you would be truthful in your Captain’s log.”

“ _How_ many regulations did I break, Spock? And recall I broke them in _saving your life!_ ”

“A fact for which I am immeasurably grateful.”

“Then maybe you should have reminded yourself of this before you decided to throw me under the bus, pointy!”

“Captain, while you have called me that before, I would appreciate it if you did not make a reference to my-”

“Enough!” Pike rose from his chair, supporting himself with his walking cane, and Jane felt a stab at her gut. She still remembered finding Pike on the _Narada_ , tortured so badly he barely recognized her… It made her wonder how he was able to pull out her phaser and fire at the Romulans who had been coming up behind her. “Starfleet’s mandate is to explore and observe, not to interfere.”

“Had the mission gone according to plan, Admiral, the indigenous species would not have been aware of our interference,” Spock spoke up.

“That’s a technicality,” said Pike.

“I am Vulcan, sir, we embrace technicalities.”

“Are you giving me attitude, Spock?”

“I am expressing many attitudes simultaneously. To which are you referring?”

Jane realized that he was making an attempt to stand up for her. But it was too late for that; the damage had already been done, and she avoided eye contact with him when he was ordered to leave the room.

“Do you have any idea how much of a pain in the ass you are?” said Pike. Sensing that it was a rhetorical question, Jane didn’t answer. “Tell me what you did wrong; what’s the lesson to be learnt here?”

“Never trust a Vulcan.”

Pike rolled his eyes. “See, you can’t even answer the question. You lied on an official report. You think the rules don’t apply to you because you disagree with them.”

“That’s why you talked me into sighing up in the first place,” said Jane. “You gave me your ship-”

“I gave you my ship because I saw greatness in you,” Pike interrupted. “And now I see that you haven’t got an ounce of humility. You were supposed to survey a planet, and instead you risked your First Officer’s life, violated a dozen Starfleet regulations and almost got everyone under your command killed! You think you can’t make a mistake, and what’s worse is that you’re using _blind luck_ to justify your actions! You don’t comply with the rules, you don’t take responsibility for anything, and you don’t respect the chair. And now I see it’s because you’re not ready for it.” He took in a deep breath. “Given the circumstances, this has been brought to Admiral Marcus’s attention; he convened a special tribunal to which I wasn’t invited. You understand what Starfleet regulations mandate be done at this point? They’ve taken the _Enterprise_ away from you. They’re sending you back to the Academy.”

Jane’s eyes widened as the floor fell away beneath her. 


	16. The Starfleet Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go from bad to worse.

“Say a word and I’ll rip those pointy ears off your head.”

Jane refused to make eye contact with Spock as she left Pike’s office, passing him. She ignored him as he called after her, and even took off at a run to make her point clear that she didn’t want to talk to him. She ran straight back to her apartment, changed into a pair of jeans and a baggy t-shirt, before sitting herself on the couch to drink away her sorrows.

She started receiving messages from the crew an hour later. The first was from Spock, which she deleted without reading. Uhura was next, which she read but didn’t reply to. McCoy followed, then Chekov, then Sulu, then Scotty, then Riley… The list went on, and her inbox was soon clogged with them.

She read them all, but didn’t reply. She didn’t know what to say to any of them. They had all been such good friends to her… She remembered the Nero incident, when they were being assigned ships, and she had been informed that she was on suspension; her friends had conspired to get her on board. Lemli and Leslie staged a quick fight which Riley pretended to attempt to break up, in order to gain the attention of the Commanders. Uhura distracted Spock, the only Commander she knew who wouldn’t get involved in breaking up the fight. Then McCoy and Chapel injected another Commander to knock him out, so Chekov could steal the PADD and put Jane on the assignment list for the _Enterprise_. Then he, Sulu, Masters and Landon had surrounded her as they boarded a shuttle, in case someone recognized her.

And after the Nero incident had been dealt with, Jane had offered to only step forwards for sneaking on board, but the others would have none of it and all owned up. She supposed they didn’t get into trouble because Jane had ended up saving the day. _Those are real friends_ , she thought with a sad smile. _But Spock…_ She shook her head, trying not to think about him.

When evening came she found herself wandering down to the shipyard, like she had done for years before she’d signed up. Jane lent against the railing of a bridge to watch the men work, and only when a tear fell from her eye did she hear the voice of her counterpart. _Jane…_

_I don’t wanna talk to you right now_.

There was a pause, followed by a sigh. _I know you’re angry. I understand._

_It’s your fault_ , Jane informed. _All those memories you showed me of him – speaking about him as if he could do no wrong to you – made me think he wouldn’t do this. But he has._

_He has never lied on an official report, Jane_ , said her counterpart. _But then again, neither did I. I suppose the only reason I didn’t get demoted was because my actions saved the galaxy too many times to count_.

Jane could feel her counterpart’s pain; in a way, she was losing the _Enterprise_ as well, and considering all the times she’d praised the ship and treated it like a person instead of a machine… _If you think a relationship will happen now, you can think again_.

_My Spock and I had many disagreements, but we always got around them. Love hurts. Always has, and always will_.

Feeling the pain in her heart – the betrayal of what he had done – Jane had to agree. Love _did_ hurt.

She heard footsteps approaching, along with the distinctive clicking of a walking cane hitting the ground, and she knew it was Pike before he even reached her. “How’d you find me?”

“I know you better than you think I do.” He leaned against the railings next to her. “The first time I found you was in a place like this. Remember that? You punched a guy so hard you broke his nose.”

Jane almost smirked at the memory. “He had it coming, and you know it.”

“I know. I also know that it was you who threw the first punch instead of him.” When Jane sent him a surprised glance, he shrugged. “I don’t tolerate racists. And I couldn’t have done anything anyway; the other cadets were adamant that he punched first. Good friends you made there.”

“I’ll be sure to pick a better First Officer next time,” Jane muttered.

There was a moment of silence before Pike said, “They gave her back to me; the _Enterprise_.”

_At least that’s good_ , said the other Jane.

Jane had to agree; she would prefer the _Enterprise_ to be in Pike’s capable hands than in the hands of anyone else. “Congratulations. Watch your back with that First Officer, though.”

“Spock’s not going to be working with me. He’s been transferred to the _USS Bradbury_.” Before Jane could ask why, he continued with, “You’re gonna be my First Officer.”

Jane turned to him, wide eyed. “What?” _If this is some kind of sick joke…_

But Pike’s face showed no humour. “Marcus took some convincing. But every now and then I can make a good case.”

Jane just stared, unable to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. Hours earlier he had been giving her a talk-down in his office, telling her she wasn’t ready for the responsibilities of command…and now this. She honestly didn’t know what to say to him…didn’t know how to thank him… “What did you tell him?”

“The truth; that I believe in you; that if anyone deserves a second chance, it’s Jane Kirk.”

She looked away, trying to gather herself. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

“That would be a first,” he said with a smile.

_The universe is rightening itself_ , said the other Jane. _Right now, you should be Pike’s First Officer on the Enterprise, and now you are. Shame that Spock won’t be there._

_Maybe the universe has finally realized that in this reality, we don’t go well together_.

Pike’s communicator beeped and he opened it. “Emergency session, Daystrom. That’s us.”

\---

Jane hoped that she wouldn’t run into Spock before the meeting, but she sighed with a hidden roll of her eyes when he approached her from across the hall. “Captain.”

“It’s Commander now, thanks to you,” said Jane as they stepped into the turbo-life together. “I got demoted, and you got transferred.”

“It is a relief that the consequences were not more severe.”

“You gotta be kidding me.” She finally turned and made eye contact with him. “I saved your life, you filed a report, I lost my ship. It’s that simple.” The lift door opened, and she walked out. He followed.

“Commander, as you know Vulcans cannot lie-”

“I know, I know; you are what you are.” Jane stopped outside the room and turned to him once again. “But where I come from, if someone saves your life you don’t stab them in the back. And while your Vulcan side can’t lie, you still have that human side; the one which has been showing a lot lately. Why couldn’t you have followed that side’s wishes this time? And do you even understand why I went back for you?”

“Commander Spock.” They both turned to see a Captain approaching them. “Frank Abbott, _USS Bradbury_. I guess you’re with me.”

Spock appeared to regard him for a moment, as if he were comparing this older Captain to Jane, before acknowledging with a, “Yes, Captain.” The Captain left, and Spock turned back to Jane with a look which just screamed _‘You’re my Captain, it feels wrong to call him my Captain’_.

Jane was still hurt…but seeing that almost pleading look, she sighed and said, “I’m gonna miss you.”

Spock opened his mouth to say something, and Jane raised an eyebrow as she waited for the words to come out. But they didn’t, and his mouth instead closed with him only sending her a look of confusion.

Jane just rolled her eyes with a sigh before walking away, resisting the urge to smack Spock upside the head.

\---

“I assume by now you’ve all heard about what happened in London,” Marcus announced. “The _Kelvin Memorial Archive_ was bombed; we already know who detonated it. Thomas Harewood, a worker there, sent me a note of confession this morning. But he was being forced to do it by this man; John Harrison. He’s one of our own.” A picture of the man appeared before them.

When the _Kelvin Memorial_ was mentioned, Jane glanced up to find Spock looking at her. The look concealed his emotion, but Jane knew what it was; sympathy. The archive had been named in her father’s honour, and this man, this John Harrison, had destroyed it. But she felt no thirst for revenge. But then she’d felt no such thirst when fighting against Nero a year ago. _Unlike my counterpart._

_Me?_

_No, the one in the mirror universe’s alternate reality_.

Jane looked at the screen and at the man’s face; his hair was dark and his skin was pale, but what was more she had never heard of this ‘John Harrison’. _Got anything?_

_Nothing. This never happened in my timeline, and I’ve never heard of him, either,_ said her counterpart. _But his face looks slightly familiar; I can’t place a name to him, though._

_Whoever he is, he’s obviously staging a one-man war against Starfleet_. She zoomed in on the crime scene. _We both know that archive was actually Section 31_. She zoomed in further to where Harrison was escaping; he was carrying a bag and making his way towards a small craft. _Marcus is saying he’s probably somewhere off world, but he wouldn’t be able to leave in that shuttle_.

_Meaning he’s still somewhere on the planet_ , the other Jane realized.

_So why would he still be on the planet if he knows we’ll be after him?_ Jane asked. _Unless he’s going to hit a bigger target._

_And if he’s a Starfleet officer, he knows what those bigger targets are._

_And after carrying out such an attack, his next target will be one we don’t see…coming…_ Jane’s eyes widened with realization. _Oh God, no_. “Shit, we gotta get outta here.” She rose to her feet, and suddenly all eyes were on her.

“Kirk, what the hell are you talking about?” asked Marcus.

“Sir, you said this guy’s one of ours,” Jane explained, “meaning that he knows all the regulations and protocols in the handbook. Correct?”

“Correct.”

“Meaning he also knows that in the event of an attack, protocol mandates that Senior Command gather Captains and First Officers at Starfleet HQ right here in this room – in this _glass, open room_ at the top of Starfleet’s _tallest building_ which can be seen from _all over San Francisco_ and _reachable via craft_.”

Marcus shot up from his seat, eyes wide with the same realization. “You don’t mean to say-?” But before he could continue the room lit up red, and Jane didn’t have to turn in order to know that Harrison had arrived outside.

She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. “We are so dumb.”

And then all hell broke loose. The windows shattered upon the open fire, and the officers in the room either fell from said fire or ducked to avoid it. Marcus was able to hide behind a pillar, Spock dived while his Captain was shot and Jane was able to tackle Pike to the floor before dragging him behind the table.

“We need an air defence team, Daystrom Conference Room!” Pike yelled into his communicator.

Jane turned to find where Spock was, and seeing him safely on the floor and out of range, she then turned to see security attempt to fire at the craft outside. When one officer was shot down, Jane crawled over to where he’d dropped his weapon, grabbed it, before crawling out of the line of fire. She then climbed to her feet and hurried from the room, entering the hallway that would give her a side-view.

She lent up against one of the walls and waited, her heart beating fast. It was loud in her ears; loud enough to drain out the voice of her panicked counterpart. She waited a few moments before standing in front of the window and using the large phaser to smash said window; she then proceeded to shoot at the craft in order to get Harrison’s attention. After a few shots she realized it was having no effect, and upon inspecting the craft closer, she saw the open vent leading to the engine.

An idea crossed her mind, and she turned to see if she could find an emergency hose pipe. She noticed the wall where it was kept and hurried over, hitting the door open and pulling out the hose. She quickly tied it to the phaser, and after setting it on overload, she took aim out the window and threw it. The phaser was pulled into the engine, and the hose with it; it unravelled itself in the wall as Jane watched, until it reached the end…and began to pull out the wall as well. Jane ducked just in time as the wall flew over her, getting caught in the engine and causing the ship’s systems to fail.

Jane stood up to watch it fall, but as she did, she got a good look at the cockpit and saw Harrison watching her. He didn’t look angry, or even impressed; he was just looking at her, and it took a moment for Jane to realize that he was beaming away. He was gone before the craft dropped from the air and crashed to the ground below.

It was only then that Jane began to pay attention to what her counterpart was saying. _The way he looked at you… I know that look. But I still can’t pin a name to him. All I know is that his real name isn’t John Harrison_. Jane ran back into the conference room in order to find Pike and Spock. _You should talk to Admiral Marcus. He may know more than he’s letting…_

She trailed off when Jane froze.

Pike was laying on a sofa in an off corner of the conference room, with Spock sitting over him. The man’s eyes were open, there was blood on his shirt…and he wasn’t breathing. Jane took in several deep breaths as her eyes widened. _No…no…_ She stumbled, sideways, backwards, and then forwards onto her knees beside Spock. She looked at him, and he looked back; she saw the emotion in his eyes, and knew that would only be there if…

She had to make sure. She reached out and felt for a pulse at his neck, like McCoy had shown her many times before. At first, she thought that maybe her fingers were in the wrong place, but when she felt around the same area and couldn’t find anything… Tears filled her eyes as her hand fell away, and then she was crying into his uniform.

_I’m sorry_ , she heard her counterpart say. _I only knew him as my Commanding Officer…but you knew him as the closest thing to a Dad. I’m so sorry. Jane…_

Her counterpart’s words were lost to her as Jane sobbed uncontrollably, gripping Pike’s uniform, clutching it like a lifeline… She felt Spock’s hand on her shoulder and she raised her head again. She could feel his sympathy through his touch. Hearing the sirens in the distance, she realized that she had to help out…there were other officers down…

But when she tried to stand, she stumbled on her suddenly weak legs and fell down again. The energy was gone…the determination was gone…

The hand on her shoulder then moved along her back to her other shoulder, before pulling her into a warm, comforting chest. Jane forgot that she was mad at Spock; for risking his life uncountable amount of times, filing that report… For he was trying to comfort her, something he wouldn’t usually do – especially in this way – and she wasn’t going to pull away from him. Not that she could.

And so she cried into his chest until her memories of that night ended.

\---

Early the next morning, she gave her statement on what had happened before assigning Scotty to the clean-up team.

It was later in the day that she got the call from Spock. “ _Jane, Mr. Scott found something in the wreckage of Harrison’s ship. He has asked to see us right away._ ”

Jane didn’t waste any time in meeting up with Spock. He gave her a nod, and she nodded back; she didn’t want to think about the previous night, how he had most likely carried her back to her apartment and put her to bed…

They met up with Scotty outside HQ. “Cap’n, I found it in the ship! This is how the bastard got away.”

Jane took a look at it and recognized it instantly; it was the bag Harrison had been carrying in the picture. “What do you mean? It’s just a bag.”

“I’m talking about _inside_ the bag,” said Scotty. “It’s a portable trans-warp beaming device.”

“Can you figure out where he went?” asked Jane.

“I already did, Cap’n. And you not gonna like it.” He brought up the coordinates. “He’s gone to the one place we just can’t go.”

Jane read the coordinates. _Qo’Nos_ , said her counterpart. _Been there before; nasty place, from our point of view anyway. I wouldn’t advise gong there._

_But he killed Pike_. Jane immediately took off to find Admiral Marcus, with Spock following close behind.

_Jane, get a hold of yourself-_

_I’m ignoring you_. Jane blocked out her counterpart’s voice. The thirst for revenge that had been absent before – when Nero had killed her father, when Harrison had blown up the memorial – coursed through her veins. She wanted this guy dead; he’d murdered Pike along with a handful of others. Someone had to go after him, she realized, and she wanted that someone to be her.

Upon finding him talking to the other Admirals, she hurried over. “Admiral, sir, he’s not on Earth. He’s on Qo’Nos, sir. I request my Command be reinstated and your permission to go after him.”

Marcus regarded her for a moment before dismissing the other Admirals. Once they were gone, he said, “So he’s gone to the Klingon home world. Is he defecting?”

“We’re not sure, sir.”

“He has taken refuge in a providence which is uninhabited,” said Spock.

“He’s gotta be hiding there, sir,” Jane added. “He knows that if we even go _near_ Klingon Space, it’ll be all-out war. Starfleet can’t go after him, but _I_ can.”

_You’re still Starfleet._

_Please shut up_.

Marcus turned to examine the models of ships on his desk. “All-out war with the Klingons is inevitable, Miss Kirk. If you ask me, it’s already begun. Since we’ve learnt of their existence, the Klingon Empire has conquered and occupied two planets that we know of, fired on our ships half a dozen times…” He stopped to look at a large, dark ship at the end of the table, one which Jane didn’t recognize. “They’re coming our way.”

_War isn’t inevitable_ , said the elder Jane. _I know this_.

“As you know, London wasn’t an archive,” the Admiral continued. “It was a top secret Starfleet branch designated Section 31. And as you saw, we’re developing defence technology and training our officers to gather intelligence on the Klingons and any other potential enemy that means to do us harm.”

Jane recalled the visit after the _Archon_ incident and the following one with the flower that had almost killed her. Admiral Marcus had shown her and Spock around himself, and while Jane hadn’t seen much, she had deduced that nothing illegal was being made. The words of her counterpart had reassured her, as well.

_Marcus was a respected Admiral in my timeline_ , she had said.

Of course, that was before Jane learnt he hadn’t brought in Robert April when he should have… Despite this, Jane stood by her counterpart’s words, and understood that Marcus was only trying to protect them. “What about Harrison?”

“Harrison was one of our top agents,” said Marcus.

“Well, now he’s a fugitive, and I wanna take him out,” said Jane.

The Admiral gave her a look of admiration. “Pike always said you were one of our best and brightest. You should have heard him defend you. He was the one who talked you into joining Starfleet, wasn’t he?”

Trying not to tear up at the mention of Pike – at the memory of the day when she had joined up – Jane nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Did he ever tell you who talked _him_ into joining?” asked Marcus. The answer was clear in Jane’s mind. “His death is on me…and yours can’t be.” He then turned to Spock. “Mr. Spock, you say the providence where Harrison is hiding is uninhabited?”

“Affirmative, sir.”

Marcus thought, before bringing up a hologram on his desk. “As part of our defensive strategy, Section 31 developed seventy-two new photon torpedoes; long range and untraceable. It would be invisible to Klingon sensors.” He looked at Jane again. “I don’t want you hurt, but I wanna take him out. You park on the edge of Klingon Space, you lock onto Harrison’s position, you fire, you kill him, and then you get the hell outta there.”

Jane looked at the torpedo, ignoring her counterpart telling her this was a bad idea. But Jane disagreed; this way the Klingons wouldn’t know who shot them, and there certainly wouldn’t be any Klingon casualties. Sure, Harrison wouldn’t be getting a fair trial…but the desire to kill him took control.

There was one other thing. “Permission to reinstate Commander Spock as my First Officer?” She noticed Spock giving her a look of shock out of the corner of her eye, but she pretended not to see it.

Admiral Marcus nodded. “Granted.”

_I knew you liked him._

_I don’t have time for you_. 


	17. Errand of Immorality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission begins...

_I think I preferred it when you were trying to get me to hook up with Spock_. Jane walked through the hanger as she made her way over to the shuttle.

Her counterpart was rattling away in her head. _That either means you’re actually considering him, or you’re just being defensive. And don’t try lying; I’ll know it_.

Jane tried not to roll her eyes, least she get any weird looks from the crew around her. _Look, we can’t actually go there, and the guy will probably be executed if he stood trial, anyway._

_It doesn’t matter whether those torpedoes are untraceable or not. They’ll just assume it was Starfleet and they’ll be on us like a cat pouncing on a mouse_.

“Jane, where were you?” Jane welcomed the distraction of McCoy, and blocked out her counterpart.

“For what?” she asked him.

“Your medical exam,” he replied, as if it were obvious. Jane didn’t recall being scheduled for one – but she knew she would have skipped it, anyway. “Ten hours ago you were in a damn fire fight; it’s my duty as the ship’s doctor-”

“I’m fine, Bones.”

She tried to walk away, but McCoy grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. “The _hell_ you are.”

Jane gave him an un-amused look. “One: I’m fine. Two: You seriously need to find yourself a girlfriend. Maybe _she’ll_ put up with your damn medical exams.” She boarded the shuttled and saw Spock waiting, so took a seat next to him. “Status report, Spock.”

“The _Enterprise_ should be ready to launch by the time we arrive,” said Spock. After a moment he added, “Captain, thank you for requesting my reinstatement.”

She noticed the slight smile on his face, and recalling his earlier discomfort at being transferred, Jane knew he meant it. She was still angry at him – mostly for his risks, since she’d pretty much forgiven him for the Nibiru report – but she was also glad to have made him happy. It took her mind off the fact that Bones had taken a seat behind them and was attempting to examine her. “You’re welcome.”

“And as I am again your First Officer, it is my duty to strongly object to our mission.”

“Of course it is,” she said with a smile. Spock wouldn’t be Spock without the objections.

His look was serious, however. “There is no Starfleet regulation that condemns a man to die without a trial, something you and Admiral Marcus are forgetting.”

“Maybe he should have thought about that before hiding on Qo’Nos.” Jane opened up her PADD.

_Spock has a point._

_You’re just taking his side because you think I should be with him._

_And you never answered me before._

Jane just ignored her as Spock continued. “Also, pre-emptively firing torpedoes at the Klingon home world-”

“You yourself said the area is uninhabited,” said Jane. “There’s only going to be one casualty. And in case you weren’t listening, our orders have nothing to do with Starfleet regulation.”

McCoy, who had been listening, stared at Jane with wide eyes. “Wait a minute, we’re firing torpedoes at the Klingons!?”

Jane tried not to roll her eyes. “Keep your voice down, Bones. You should know better than to start a panic.”

“Regulations aside, such actions are morally wrong,” Spock continued. “Revenge is never logical; you thought the same when we prevented Romulus from being destroyed.”

“This isn’t about revenge, it’s about giving a criminal what’s coming to him.” She ignored McCoy’s little test, as well as him telling her to calm down. “I’m not gonna take ethics lessons from a robot.”

“Reverting to name calling means you are defensive and therefore find my opinion valid.”

_He knows you better than I do, and I **am** you_.

“OK, you in my head, shut the hell up, and Bones, get that thing off my face.” McCoy did so, slowly.

“Seeing as your counterpart also appears to be in disagreement, you should take our words of advice into consideration, Captain,” said Spock. “Our mission could start a war with the Klingons. And it is by its very definition immoral. Perhaps you should take the time to arrive at this conclusion for yourself.”

“Captain Kirk?” Jane looked up to see a blonde haired, blue eyed woman around her age stood to attention. “Science Officer Wallace; I’ve been assigned to the _Enterprise_ by Admiral Marcus. These are my transfer orders.” She handed Jane a PADD.

_Carol?_

_You know her?_

“You requested an additional Science Officer?” Judging by the tone of his voice and the look on his face, Spock was actually _hurt_ by this.

Jane slowly shook her head in response. “I don’t… _think_ so.” She looked down at the PADD. “Lt. Carol Wallace, doctorate in Applied Physics, specializing in Advanced Weaponry. Ah, you’re here with the torpedoes.” The woman nodded.

“Impressive credentials,” said Spock. “But redundant now that I’m back aboard the _Enterprise_.”

Jane was about to repeat that Carol was with them because of the torpedoes, but McCoy spoke up before she could. “Dammit, Spock! A pretty lady shows up and all you can think about is yourself? Show some respect!” He smiled up at Carol. “Take a seat by me, Dr. Marcus.” Carol accepted the offer with a smile.

Jane raised an eyebrow at McCoy. _Wow. I ask him to get himself a girl, and he finds one in record time._

_Considering they were a thing in my time…_

_So that’s how you know her!_

_She was one of the leading scientists working on the Genesis project,_ the elder Jane explained. _After his divorce, McCoy dated her for a time. They even had a son together; David. But then things happened, she got custody, and he didn’t see his son until years later._

_His life sucked in your timeline; two kids he couldn't see… Hopefully this time it’ll end happier._

_But Carol’s last name was Marcus. Wallace is her mother’s maiden name_.

Jane blinked. _Are you sure? Because Marcus is…_

_Yes. She’s the Admiral’s daughter. The fact that she’s concealing her identity means her father doesn’t know she’s here, and she doesn’t want us to know, either. Just play along_.

Jane shrugged, and noticed Spock giving her a weird look. “Captain?”

“I’ll tell you when we arrive.”

\---

“No! I’m not signing anything! Now get these bloody things off my ship!” Jane saw Scotty approaching her, and judging by the shouting, she knew instantly what was going on. “Cap’n!”

“Is there a problem, Mr. Scott?” she asked, playing it casual.

“Aye, Cap’n,” he replied. “I was just explaining to this gentleman that I canne authorize any weapons on board this ship without knowing what’s _inside_ them.”

“Mr. Scott raises yet another point that-”

Jane turned to Spock without missing a beat and handed her PADD to him. “Report to the bridge.” He hesitated, but did as ordered, taking the PADD from her. Jane then turned back to Scotty. _This is not gonna go down well_. “Mr. Scott, I understand your concerns, but we need these torpedoes on board.”

“With all due respect, Cap’n, photon torpedoes run on fuel,” said Scotty. “Now I canne detect the type of fuel that’s in the compartments in these torpedoes because they’re shielded. Now, I _asked_ for the specifications, but he said-” He pointed a thumb at the guy behind him.

“It’s classified,” said the guy without missing a beat.

“It’s classified!” Scotty repeated; the more he explained, the angrier he was getting. “So I said _‘no specks, no signature!’_ ”

“Captain.” Jane looked up to where Sulu had arrived on the platform above. “Flight check’s complete; we’re good to go.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sulu.” Jane turned back to Scotty. “Mr. Scott-”

“Don’t _‘Mr. Scott’_ me, Cap’n!” he snapped. “Now if you excuse me, I have a warp-core to prime! Masters, with me!” The African woman followed after him as Scotty walked away, but not without yelling, “Get down!” at Keenser, who had settled himself upon one of the torpedoes.

“Jane,” McCoy spoke, “your vitals are way off-”

Jane turned to him and simple said, “Report to sickbay,” before she took off after Scotty. “Scotty, wait!”

_You need to stop turning you back on your friends_ , said her counterpart. _They care about you, and they’re only trying to help._

She ignored her counterpart as she caught up with Scotty and Charlene, with Keenser tagging along behind them. “I need you to approve those weapons.”

“Do you know what this is, Cap’n?” Scotty pointed at the warp-core they were passing.

“I don’t have time for a lecture, Scotty.” When he repeated the question Jane sighed, trying not to hit him. “It’s our warp-core. I’m the Captain; I know all this.”

“Then you _should know_ that it’s a radioactive catastrophe waiting to happen!” he explained. “A subtle shift in magnetic output from firing one or more of those seventy-two torpedoes with an unknown fuel could set off a chain reaction which will kill every living thing on this ship. Letting those torpedoes on the _Enterprise_ is the last straw.”

Jane, trying not to look confused, asked, “What was the first straw?”

“What was the-?” He rolled his eyes. “There are plenty of straws! How about Starfleet confiscating my trans-warp equation, and now some madman’s using it to hop across the galaxy?! Where’d you think he got it from?!”

“Our orders, Scotty-”

“But that’s what scares me!” He sent her a pleading look. “This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are, now? ‘Cause I thought we were explorers.”

“Sign for the torpedoes; that’s an order.”

But he shook his head. “You leave me no choice to resign my duties.”

“Come on, Scotty!”

“You’re giving me no choice! Do you accept my resignation, or not?”

“I do!” It was only moments later that Jane realized what she’d just said, and that she had said it a lot louder than she should have; people were staring. Trying to ignore the look of hurt upon Scotty’s face, she sighed. “I do. You are relieved, Mr. Scott.”

He nodded, looking around hesitantly, as if he was unable to believe it, himself. But then he leaned in closer. “Jane…for the love of God…do not use those torpedoes.” He then handed her his PADD and walked away.

He only stopped to encourage Keenser to come with him; the little creature handed his PADD over too and followed.

Only then – with the PADDs in her hands and without a Chief Engineer – did Jane realize just what she was doing. She knew that Scotty would never do anything like this unless he was dead serious about something. She had almost made him go against regulations – which she was doing, and she knew it. Most of the time she did it for the greater good, but was this really the greater good? Harrison had killed Pike – and yet, that gave her no right to kill him.

_It’s finally sunk in, huh?_

Jane didn't bother to retaliate against her counterpart's words; she knew she was right.

She turned and realized that Charlene was still with her; the woman was staring after Scotty with a look of heartbreak on her face, and yet she made no move to follow him. “Are you still with me, Masters?”

The woman jumped a little, and her gaze flickered between Jane and the departing Scotty. After a moment she made up her mind, and nodded. “Yes, Captain.”

“Good.” Jane handed the two PADDs to her. “You’re my new Chief.” Observing her blue dress, she added, “Put on a red dress and sign for the torpedoes.”

Charlene hesitated, but then she nodded. “Yes, Captain.”

\---

“Jane, I’m so sorry about Admiral Pike.”

Jane didn’t even look at Uhura as they walked towards the turbo-lift together. Both were changed, and Jane couldn’t stop thinking about Scotty’s resignation. Her counterpart wasn’t helping. _You just lost the best engineer in the galaxy. The Enterprise won’t be the same without-_

_Please shut up_. Jane entered the lift with Uhura. “We all are,” she said in response to her friend’s condolences.

“Are you OK?”

“All things considered…” She sighed. “Scotty just quit, and my _wonderful_ First Officer is questioning me every chance he gets.”

“He’s just worried about you, Jane,” said Uhura. “He expresses it differently.”

“I know. But sometimes, I just wanna rip the…bangs off his head.”

Uhura raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure it’s him and not you?”

“Oh, I think you and I both know it’s him,” said Jane. “Remember, back on Phaedus; we talked about it in the shuttle.”

“I remember, but it didn’t seem as bad…” She gave Jane a questioning look. “Are you two actually _fighting_ about this now?”

“Ny, I really don’t wanna talk about this-”

“Spock _fighting?_ What’s that even _like?_ ”

Then the lift doors opened and Spock was there, hands behind his back and standing ready. Uhura just passed him without a word, and when Jane went to pass him, she couldn’t help getting a jab in. “Ears burning?” She ignored his surprised look as she made her way over to her seat. “Retract all moorings, Mr. Sulu.”

“Aye, Captain.”

“Uhura, open a channel to engineering.” When she did, Jane continued, “Miss Masters, how are we looking down there?”

“ _All systems normal, Captain. Warp available at your command._ ”

“Copy that.” She turned to Sulu. “Alright, let’s ride.”

“Yes, Captain.” Sulu waited for Chekov to lay in the course before he put the ship into warp.

Jane sighed. “Uhura, open a ship-wide channel.”

“Channel open, Captain.”

She nodded. “Attention crew of the _Enterprise_. As most of you know, Christopher Pike, former Captain of this ship and our friend…is dead. The man who killed him has fled our system and is hiding on the Klingon home world, somewhere he believes we are unwilling to go. We are on our way there now. Admiral Marcus has said that it is essential that our presence go undetected; tensions between the Federation and the Klingon Empire have been high, and if we slip up our actions could lead to an all-out war.” She paused.

_Jane…_ she heard her counterpart say.

Jane thought about what said counterpart had told her, what McCoy had mentioned about her health, about what Scotty had said, and then about what Spock had been trying to inform. She turned in her seat to him; he was watching her carefully, his expression unchanged, but Jane knew that he was silently pleading with her to make the right decision. To do what was morally right.

Looking into his dark eyes – which were so human compared to the rest of his Vulcan features – Jane made her decision. “I will personally lead a landing party to the abandoned city on the surface of Qo’Nos, where we will capture the fugitive, John Harrison, and return him to Earth so he can face judgement for his actions. So, let’s go get this son of a bitch. Kirk out.” She switched off the channel before placing her head in her hand, sighing.

Behind her someone approached, and she didn’t need to turn to know it was Spock. “Captain, I believe you have made the right decision.”

She looked up at him and saw that he showed no smugness at having convinced her; instead he looked relieved. “Yeah, let’s just hope it pays off.”

“If I can be of assistance, I will be happy to accompany you on the away team.”

She raised an eyebrow, smiling at his choice of words. “You? Happy?”

“I was simply attempting to use your vernacular to convey an idea.”

She laughed, realizing it was his attempt at humour in order to cheer her up. It was working. “Thank you, Mr. Spock.”

“And you mention on the shuttle there was something you needed to tell me.”

“Ah, yes.” She rose before lowering her voice. “My counterpart told me something interesting about our newest Science Officer. I’d like you to check the transfer records in order to see if it’s true.”

“Why would it not be?”

“Just check,” said Jane. “Her real name is Carol Marcus; she’s the Admiral's daughter and I think she’s here without her father knowing, and didn’t want us to know, either.”

“That would make sense,” said Spock.

Jane nodded. “Once you’ve checked the records, go and confront her about it. I have no idea why she’s on board, and I’d like to know.”

“Yes, Captain. I will do so immediately.” He left the bridge, and Jane sat back down again in her seat.

_Do you think Carol’s against us?_ she asked her counterpart.

_I would be very surprised if she was_ , said the elder Jane _. She was a very nice woman, even after her split from McCoy. Then again, this is a whole new universe, and her profession has drastically changed already._

_How so?_

_I said she was one of the leading scientists on the Genesis project_ , the elder Jane explained. _Genesis, as I explained to you before, creates life on an uninhabited planet. So she created life in my reality, and in yours she specializes in weapons – which destroy it._

_That’s kind of ironic_ , Jane thought. Chekov and Sulu then pulled her away from the conversation with a discussion on where they should park once reaching Qo’Nos, which continued throughout most of the journey.

Everyone was taken by surprise when suddenly, the ship dropped out of warp.

Jane fell against the helm alongside Chekov and Sulu. “What the hell was that?!”

“Engineering manually dropped us out of warp, Captain,” said Sulu.

“Uhura, open a channel.” Uhura did so after picking herself up off the floor, and once the channel was open, Jane immediately asked, “Charlene, did you break my ship?”

“ _Sorry, Captain, I don’t know what happened!_ ” There were a lot of panicked voices in the background and hissing from the heat of the core. “ _The core overheated! I had to activate the emergency stop; it needs time to cool and I need time to find the problem! Sorry, Captain!_ ”

Jane rolled her eyes with a, “Dammit.” _Just what we need_. She closed the channel and turned to Sulu. “How much time to our destination?”

“Twenty minutes, but that’s twenty minutes in enemy Space we weren’t counting on.”

“Then we better hop to it.” She turned to where Uhura was standing, just as Spock reappeared back on the bridge. “Spock, you’re coming with me to Qo’Nos. Uhura, how’s your Klingon?”

“Rusty, but I can make it work.”

Jane nodded. “Good. Spock, tell Lemli and Leslie they’re coming, too. You all need to get changed in civilian clothing; we can’t have this mission tied to Starfleet.”

“Captain, apologies if this seems out of line, but you two working together isn’t going to be a problem…?” Uhura looked at Spock and then back at Jane, making her point clear.

Jane knew that the last time they were on an away mission, Spock had run off without asking her. Things would be a little tense this time, she knew. But she needed him and he had offered; she’d just have to work with it. “Absolutely not.”

When Spock and Uhura left the bridge, she heard the former say to the latter, “Unclear.” 


	18. Dove's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrison is captured, but the trouble isn't over yet...

“And enough with the metaphors, alright? That’s an order.” Jane left the bridge shaking her head, as she went to get changed out of her uniform. _Where does Bones get all these metaphors, anyway?_

_It always puzzled me. I thought maybe he had some kind of handbook which he referred to every morning_. Jane smiled at the thought. _And you did a good thing, by the way._

_You mean when I disobeyed Admiral Marcus’s orders?_

_It was the right thing, and you know it. Besides, you’ve broken rules before._

_Those times were different. Lives were at risk… OK, one life is at risk here, but he’s a bad man. That’s different._

_Look, I’ve had my fair share of shady orders, and when I disobeyed them it felt bad at first. But I later felt good about myself because I knew I’d done the right thing._

_If this turns out to be the right decision, I’ll feel like a lousy Captain._

_You’re me; you’re not a lousy Captain_.

After Jane was changed she joined Spock and Uhura in the main hanger, before they made their way over to the ship they still had from the incident on Phaedus a month before.

Lemli and Leslie were standing ready and changed by the door, and Jane gave them both a nod as she passed. She, Spock and Uhura sat themselves in the cockpit in the three seats available while the security officers sat in the back, and soon they were away.

Twenty minutes later they arrived; Jane noticed the moon which had exploded not long before and sighed.

_Praxis already exploded?_

_Too soon?_

_Way too soon. Then again, from what you told me they had Nero’s mining ship with them for twenty-five years. They probably decided to experiment with it._

_Typical. Klingons do things first and ask questions later_.

“I am detecting a single life sign, Captain,” said Spock. “Given the information provided by Mr. Scott,” Jane flinched at the mention of her departed friend, “this is most likely John Harrison.”

Jane nodded. “Mr. Sulu, I think we found our man; let him know you mean business.”

“ _Aye, Captain_.”

They entered the atmosphere. “We will arrive at the location in three minutes, Captain,” said Spock. “It is unlikely that he will come willingly; I can calculate the odds of him attempting to kill us at 91.6%.”

“And what about your last calculations, Spock?” Jane couldn't help but ask. “When you were trapped in that volcano? And how about when you almost jumped off that shuttle on Taurus II, almost got yourself shot on Tarsus IV, nearly _blinded_ yourself on Deneva and ran off into an enemy camp without asking me on Phaedus? What were the odds of you dying then? Wait, don’t answer that; the odds don’t apparently matter because you don’t care about dying.”

She could feel Spock’s eyes on her, as well as Uhura’s. “Captain, I would prefer if we discussed this in private.”

“Whenever I try to, you dismiss me,” Jane said back. “You claim there’s no problem _at all_ when there clearly _is_.”

“Guys, are you really gonna do this now?” asked Uhura.

“Sorry, Ny, just give us two seconds.”

“Uh, whatever.”

“Captain, it is my life at risk, so therefore I do not understand why you are angry at me,” said Spock.

Jane wanted to stand up, walk the two steps separating them and hit him, _hard_. “This is your problem, Spock! You don’t understand that people care about you! We didn’t have the best of starts a year ago, but now you’re more than my First Officer; you’re my friend! You don’t understand what it would do to me if you died, Spock. I get it; you barely feel anything. Recently I’m starting to wonder if you care at all. And I’m not the only one who’s mad at you; the crew is, too. Right, Ny?”

“What? No! Don’t drag me into this!” But after a pause, she said, “She’s right.”

“Your conclusion that I do not care about dying is incorrect,” said Spock. “The reason I do not show what I am feeling is because I choose not to, and the reason I chose this is because the emotions I feel…they hurt me. When Admiral Pike was dying, I joined with his consciousness and experienced what he felt at the moment of his passing; anger, confusion, loneliness…fear. I had experienced those feelings before, multiplied on the day when my planet was destroyed and when I almost lost my mother. Such a feeling is one I choose never to experience again. And in order to prevent this feeling from taking over…I react. That reaction is what led to my decisions before; ones I realize now were not logical, but emotional ones. But every time I made them – every time I chose to put my life on the line – I thought of you.”

Jane didn’t know what to say, other than, “Me?”

“Jane, you mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring,” Spock continued. “You must realize that the truth is precisely the opposite. And while I put my life at risk, I always endeavour to come back – especially when I have someone to come back to. Jane, I have been and always shall be yours. And no matter what hardships we face, that will never change.”

_He’s amazing with words when he gets going, isn’t he?_

_I had no idea he had that in him._

_Like I said; when his human side shows, it really shows_.

Jane was speechless; she had no response to his words. The anger she felt towards him – for disregarding his life – fell away instantly. He had finally explained what compelled him to do it all those times, and she truly understood. And his reason… She felt her heart swell at his words, and smiled as she leaned into the chair, turning to face him. Her eyes met his, and she could tell that in his own Vulcan way, he was smiling.

Suddenly the ship was hit, and the alarms blared. “What the hell was that?!” Jane yelled.

“We are being pursued by a D-4 Class Klingon vessel,” said Spock.

Jane’s eyes widened. “I thought this sector was abandoned?”

“It must be a random patrol,” said Uhura.

Jane put more speed into their ship. “Hold on!”

“This ship has no offensive capabilities,” Spock pointed out.

“It’s got us,” said Jane. “Give me all six fuel cells.”

“Aye, Captain.”

The ship accelerated and Jane steered it through the various ruined buildings. The vessel in pursuit fired again, one shot hitting them mildly, and Jane cursed under her breath as the alarms blared again. “They’re closing fast!” Uhura reported.

Then Jane saw a small gap up ahead. _If you turn the ship, you can lose them through there,_ said her counterpart.

_Whatever you say, veteran_. “There, we can lose them there.” She sped up.

“You are suggesting that we utilize the passage between the approaching structures-” Spock then gave up on the long explanation and instead said, “This ship will not fit.”

“We’ll fit.”

“Captain, we will not fit.”

“We’ll fit! _We’ll fit!_ ” She turned the ship on its side just in time, sliding it through the gap. It hit the walls a couple of times and Uhura screamed from the shock, but they made it through. Jane gasped for breath, relieved. _Nice call, other me_. “I told you we’d fit.”

“I am not sure that qualifies.”

Jane ignored him and looked around the area. “Where are they?”

“I don’t see them, which worries me,” said Uhura.

“We lost them!”

“Or they’re jamming our scanners.”

“Or we lost them.”

_Jane, Klingons never lose their prey_.

Jane would have resorted back…if they hadn’t suddenly been surrounded by more Klingon ships. A Klingon voice spoke loudly to them.

“They’re telling us to land,” said Uhura. “They’ll want to know why we’re here. They’ll question us, torture us, and then they’ll kill us.”

“So we come out shooting,” said Jane.

_Not very diplomatic._

_Excuse me, Mrs. Shoot-to-Kill_.

Uhura stood up from her seat. “We’re outnumbered and outgunned. You brought me because I spoke Klingon. So let me speak Klingon.”

\---

“This isn’t going to work.”

“It is our only logical solution,” said Spock. “And if you interrupt now you will not only incur the wrath of the Klingons, but that of Lt. Uhura as well.”

Jane just rolled her eyes and got out the phasers, handing them out. They watched as Uhura spoke to one of the Klingon commanders; he didn’t seem aggressive at first, but then he grabbed her neck and began to draw his dagger…

Jane almost leapt to her friend’s defence, but she was beaten to it by a cloaked figure showing up and shooting at the Klingons. Uhura snatched the dagger away from the commander and stabbed it into his leg, and Jane didn’t waste time in hurrying off the ship and shooting. Spock, Lemli and Leslie followed.

After sliding a phaser to Uhura, Jane turned to get a good look at the attacker; he was obviously human, and she realized that it was John Harrison. She was confused that he would come and help them, but didn’t think about it much longer than a moment; the Klingons were coming at her, and she struggled to fight back.

Jane ducked to avoid the ship which had been shot down, before coming face to face with a soldier who head-butted her. She spun to avoid his hits, before giving him a high kick to the face and then ducking down, swinging her other leg out to knock him off his feet. Another Klingon showed up and kicked her over, but Jane grabbed her phaser and shot him in the chest. Then another showed up, taking aim, but was shot by someone else. Jane rose, expecting to see a member of her crew, but she frowned when she realized Harrison had shot him.

She was suddenly tackled to the ground by yet another Klingon, who then picked her up and attempted to subdue her. Jane elbowed him in the stomach, turned and shot him, but was knocked over yet again by another soldier, who used his gun to whack her around the head. He kicked her, and then placed his foot on her with his weapon aimed at her head…before falling to the ground, dead. Jane had been saved by Harrison yet again.

Dazed, Jane tried picking herself up, but stumbled and fell again. She felt two pairs of hands help her up, and when she felt a sudden swell of emotions – fear and worry – she realized Spock was one of them. Uhura was the other. They helped her over to a wall where they got down, and Spock picked up a weapon to use as defence. Lemli and Leslie soon joined them, phasers raised, but they didn’t need to shoot.

The attention of the Klingons was only on Harrison, who was taking them out with ease. Jane and her crew watched with wide eyes as he finished off the last of them, leaping down from his platform, before picking up a Klingon weapon and approaching the group. “How many torpedoes?”

“Stand down!” Spock rose in a protective manner, ready to fire.

Harrison simply shot the weapon out of his grasp. “The torpedoes; the weapons you threatened me with in your message! How many are there?”

Jane sent him a confused look; did it matter? They were torpedoes, no matter how many there were. “Seventy-two,” she replied anyway.

Harrison’s eyes widened, before he dropped the weapon to the ground. “I surrender.”

Spock picked up the weapon and aimed it at the man, while Lemli and Leslie kept their phasers trained on him. Jane, helped by Uhura, rose to her feet and approached, trying to keep her anger under control. This man had killed Captain Pike, and a handful of others…

But Jane knew that Pike wouldn’t want her to give into the urge to kill him. The same way he wouldn’t want her launching seventy-two torpedoes at the man. “John Harrison…on the behalf of Christopher Pike…I accept your surrender.” But she couldn’t help getting a punch in. “And that was for blowing up my Dad’s memorial.”

Besides giving her a look of bewilderment, Harrison didn’t react – like he hadn’t been punched at all. He didn’t bring his hand up to check on the damage, he didn’t flinch from the pain Jane _knew_ it must have caused him. In fact…it was like he hadn’t felt any form of pain. So Jane punched him again, but his reaction was the same.

“Captain, I would advise against punching him further,” said Spock.

Jane just stared at Harrison, and he stared back. “Captain…? And your father’s…? So you must be the famous Captain Kirk.”

“Yeah,” she said. “And you’re under arrest.” She turned to Lemli and Leslie. “Cuff him.”

Although they were hesitant, they put away their phasers and did as they were told, placing a pair of handcuffs on the man. Jane just turned her back on the scene and walked away, stumbling from the pain still leftover from the fight.

_OK, why couldn’t I hurt him?_

_I don’t know_ , said her counterpart. _He still looks familiar, even more so after that fight. He took them all down single-handedly. It almost reminds me of…something._

_What?_

_Nothing. It’s gone. If it was important, I would have known right away_.

\---

Jane watched as the security officers led Harrison through the hallways of the _Enterprise_ ; she followed behind with Spock and Uhura, still in their civilian clothing and still very much dirty.

“Uhura, once you’ve cleaned up send a transmission back to Earth; tell them we have Harrison in custody, and that we intend to bring him back to stand trial,” said Jane. “If they ask why we disobeyed our orders, tell them Harrison surrendered to us.”

“Yes, Captain.” She walked away, though at the end of the hall she met up with a worried Kevin Riley. The two of them shared a hug.

Jane turned to Spock. “Clean up as well and then have Bones meet us in the brig; I want him to test something.”

“Yes, Captain.” He went to walk away, but Jane grabbed his arm to prevent him. He sent her a questioning look. “Captain?”

Jane sighed. She recalled being in this same position a year ago, after the destruction of Vulcan. Spock had been about to leave sickbay to go back to his duties, and she had stopped him before leading him over to a quiet corner.

“I’m sorry,” she had told him. “For Vulcan, and for what I did in the exam. I knew I shouldn’t have cheated, and I’m sorry.”

He had looked confused. “I am only the programmer of the test; if you should be apologizing to anyone, it is your instructor for the class.”

“I still feel like I’ve wounded your pride somehow,” she'd said.

“Vulcans do not feel pride.”

“It just felt like apologizing was the right thing to do,” she had continued. “Especially after all this…”

“I can see that you feel truly sorry, and that you feel the need to apologize to me,” Spock had concluded. “I do not feel any resentment towards you for your actions. And even if it _was_ necessary to apologize, there would be no need. You saved my mother’s life. And for that, I am eternally grateful.”

“I know.” She had smiled up at him, and if she had known him well enough at the time, she would have seen that he was smiling back. As much as a Vulcan could, anyway.

Now Spock was watching her, waiting for her to say something. Jane knew he would say there was no need to apologize – and like the last time, she realized there probably wasn’t the need – but she felt that she had to. “I’m sorry, for getting angry at you.”

“Captain, there is no need to apologize.” It was the answer she expected. “The fault is clearly my own; I did not realize the issue at the time, nor did I realize that it affected you as much as it did. If anything, it is _I_ who must apologize.”

“And you have already,” she said. “But I still yelled at you, many times, when I shouldn’t have done. I suspected that your actions had something to do with Vulcan, and I knew that the situation had to be handled gently. But I got frustrated because I really _do_ care about you, Spock. And I don’t wanna lose you.”

“I know.” It was that smile again from before, but this time she knew exactly what it was and smiled back. “And I will endeavour to not put my life in such danger again. Logically I should have realized before.”

She sent him a confused look. “Why?”

“Because you must feel pain when you see me take those risks,” he explained. “The same pain I felt back on Tarsus IV, when I saw Lenore Karidian take aim at you with her phaser.”

Jane recalled the emotions she had felt from him on that day, and then the nightmares he’d been having…and how in the later versions it was her falling from the cliff instead of his mother… “Yeah, and I’m sorry most of all for being mad at you about that. You did save my life, after all.”

“And I will be happy to save your life many times more.”

They shared smiles once more.

_…Are you two having a moment?_

_Yeah, and you’re ruining it_. Jane rolled her eyes.

Spock looked confused. “Captain?”

“It’s just my counterpart. Her commentary’s getting annoying.” Jane gave her head a little hit.

“Captain, I doubt hitting your head will solve the problem.”

“It did on Phaedus, although that caused more problems than it did good.” She laughed a little. “She’s stumped about Harrison, though; she’s never heard of him, although she claims that his face looks familiar. Can’t put a name to it, though.”

“Speaking of Harrison…”

“Yeah, I know.” She smiled. “I’ll meet you and Bones there.”

Spock only nodded before turning and walking away, and Jane found herself just watching him leave without making a move to do the same thing.

_I’m almost afraid to make a comment._

_You can; just not over the top._

There was stunned silence. _Does this mean…?_

_Are you really gonna do this now?_


	19. Seed in Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Harrison is not who he appears to be...

“What do you need me for, Jane?”

“Harrison just took out a squad of Klingons single-handedly and I wanna know how,” said Jane. She, McCoy and Spock approached the cell where Harrison was being held. “My counterpart doesn’t have a clue, and we know Spock’s won't say anything.”

Jane nodded to Lemli and Leslie before turning her attention to Harrison. McCoy stepped forwards and opened up a small gap in the glass. “Put your arm through the hole; I’m gonna take a blood sample.”

Harrison did so without question, and Jane briefly wondered whether he would try and grab McCoy. But she dismissed this thought as immediately as it appeared. _He surrendered for a reason_.

“Why aren’t we moving, Captain?” asked Harrison. Jane said nothing, leading him to continue with, “An unexpected malfunction in your warp-core, perhaps?” Jane tried not to show her surprise, while McCoy looked up with wide eyes. “Conveniently stranding you on the edge of Klingon Space.”

“How the hell did you know that?” the doctor asked.

“Bones.” Jane’s eyes never left Harrison’s.

And his never left hers. “I think you'd find my insight valuable, Captain.”

Jane ignored his words as McCoy finished up. “Let me know what you find,” she told him as he walked away, and then she and Spock turned to go, too.

They’d only gotten a few steps before Harrison called out, “Ignore me and you will get everyone on this ship killed.”

Jane paused, and Spock paused beside her. “Captain, I believe he will only attempt to manipulate you. I do not recommend engaging the prisoner further.”

_Then again, he knew about the warp core_ , said the elder Jane. _Something’s up; you should at least hear what he has to say_.

“Give me a minute,” Jane told Spock. He looked reluctant, but he left her alone all the same. Jane waited until he’d gone before turning around and walking back over to Harrison’s cell. “Let me explain what’s happening here; you are a _criminal_. I watched you murder innocent men and women; I was authorized to _end_ you. And the only reason you’re _still alive_ is because I’m _allowing_ it! So shut. Your. _Mouth!_ ”

He didn’t look phased; he didn’t even blink. “Captain, do you have the urge to punch me again – over and over until your arm weakens? Clearly you want to. So tell me; why did you allow me to live?”

“We all make mistakes.”

But he shook his head. “I surrendered to you because, despite your attempt to convince me otherwise, you seem to have a conscience, Captain Kirk. If you did not, then it would be impossible of me to convince you of the truth: 23. 17. 46. 11. Coordinates not far from Earth. If you want to know why I did what I did, go and take a look.”

“Give me one reason why I should listen to you.”

“I can give you seventy-two. And they’re on board your ship, Captain. They have been all along. I suggest you open one up.”

Jane walked away just as her counterpart said, _Seventy-two..._

_Significant?_

_The number rings a bell…but I don’t know which one_.

\---

Jane knew she was taking a chance, but she didn’t have any other choices. _I hope he’s still not mad at me…_

“ _Hello?_ ”

“Scotty, it’s Kirk.”

He laughed. “ _Well now, if it isn’t Jane Tiberia Perfect-Hair! You hear that? I called her ‘Perfect-Hair’!_ ”

Jane frowned. “Scotty, where are you? Are you drunk?”

_That wouldn’t be a surprise_.

“ _What I do in my private time is my business, Jane!_ ”

_Yeah, he’s definitely drunk. Good luck._

_Thanks for the support_. “Listen, Scotty, I need you to help me out with something; I need you to take these coordinates down. 23. 17. 46. 11. Are you writing?”

“ _What? You don’t think I can’t remember four numbers? You have little faith! …What was the third one?_ ”

“46! Remember that; 23. 17. 46. 11. Go there for me, will you? I’m not sure what you’re looking for; I have a feeling you’ll know when you see it… I think you were right about those torpedoes.”

“ _I’ll consider that an apology. And I will consider that apology._ ”

“You were the one who quit.”

“ _You made me quit!_ ”

He hung up, and Jane sighed in annoyance. _I’ve never heard him drunk before._

_He wasn’t drunk all the time, but he was famous for hoarding several bottles of scotch in his quarters._

_I don’t even wanna know_.

\---

“Are you out of your corn-fed mind?”

“Where do you get these phrases from, Bones?”

“I'm serious, Jane!” said McCoy. “You're not actually gonna _listen_ to this guy, are you? He killed Pike and he almost killed you, and now you think it’s a good idea to pop open a torpedo because he dared you to!”

“Why did he save our lives, Bones?” Jane asked. The question had been nagging at her since the fight. “And furthermore, why did he surrender when he learnt how many torpedoes there were?”

Spock looked sceptical. “The doctor does have a point, Captain.”

“Don’t agree with me, Spock; it makes me very uncomfortable.”

_It’s making me feel uncomfortable, too_.

“Perhaps you too should learn to govern your emotions, doctor. In this situation logic dictates-”

“Logic?! My God, there’s a maniac trying to make us blow up our own damn ship-”

_Uh oh, here comes the argument_.

Jane spoke up before it got any further. “That’s not why he surrendered. We’re going to open a torpedo, and I’ll take suggestions as to how.”

“The Admiral's daughter is a Weapon’s Specialist,” Spock reminded. “And she appeared to be interested in the torpedoes in question.”

“What Admiral’s daughter?” asked McCoy.

“That new Science Officer,” said Jane nonchalantly. “Her real name’s Carol Marcus, and she’s the daughter of Admiral Marcus. She concealed her identity to get aboard the ship.”

McCoy looked between the two, both shocked and confused. “I’ve been chatting up the girl for hours! When were you both planning on telling me this?!”

“When it became relevant to our current situation,” said Spock. “As it just did.”

McCoy rolled his eyes while Jane tried not to laugh.

\---

“Are the torpedoes in the weapon’s bay?”

Carol was hurrying down the _Enterprise_ ’s hallways with Jane and McCoy following her.

“Loaded and ready to fire,” said Jane. “Why? And what are they?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I transferred onto your ship to find out-” She paused, turning. “I _am_ sorry about that, by the way.”

“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Bones; he’s the one who’s feeling upset,” Jane admitted. “And maybe reintroduce yourself while you’re at it.”

She just shrugged and held out a hand to him. “Carol Marcus.”

“Leonard McCoy.”

“Nice to meet you.” She sent him a smile before continuing onwards.

Jane and McCoy followed. “Jane, why am I here?”

“Because she’ll need help, and you have the steadiest hands on the ship,” said Jane.

_And because you’re playing match-maker. So why didn’t you like it when I was playing match-maker to you?_

_Bones needs a girlfriend, and I wanted to find a guy in my own time._

_You certainly have – and he’s the same one I was steering you towards in the first place. You’re such a hypocrite._

_That means you are, too._

_I was never as bad as this_.

Jane tuned her counterpart out as she listened to what Carol was saying; they had arrived in the shuttle bay. “My father gave me access to every program he oversaw, and then I heard he was developing these prototype torpedoes. But when I went to confront him about it, he wouldn’t even see me.” She paused half way up the ramp leading into one of the shuttles. “That’s when I discovered that the torpedoes had disappeared from all official records.”

“And then he gave them to me,” said Jane. Carol nodded before she walked on board and began to take out a flight suit. Jane asked, “What are we doing in here?”

“Is this shuttle ready to fly?”

“All of them are.”

“What’s that got to do with it?” McCoy asked.

Carol sent him a look. “Would you please turn around?”

“Why?”

“I need to change; turn around.” Bones turned; Jane went to turn too, but when Carol sent her a questioning look, she didn’t.

“I was attempting to be polite.”

“We’re both women.” She began to take off her uniform. “It’s too dangerous to try and open one of these torpedoes on the _Enterprise_ , but there is a planet nearby. I can open one there, with Dr. McCoy’s…help…” She trailed off, and Jane realized why; Bones had turned and was staring at her. “Turn around. Now!”

He did so quickly, and Jane tried not to laugh. _I can see why you did this to me; it’s fun._

_Just wait when he tries to deny it. Hours of entertainment_.

\---

She knew that she shouldn’t worry, but Jane couldn’t help it. Standing in front of the window on the bridge, she looked out at the planet where McCoy and Carol were; if Harrison was really tricking them…

_I don’t think he is, like you said_ , said the elder Jane.

_What makes you so sure?_

_I honestly don’t know. Something’s telling me… I lost it_.

_Wonderful_. “Mr. Sulu, have they landed on the planet yet?”

“Yes, Captain. They’re moving the torpedo into position now.”

“Any activity from the Klingons?” she then asked Chekov.

“Not yet, Keptin,” he said. “But if ve’re stuck here much longer, zey _vill_ find us.”

Jane nodded. “Uhura, did you let Starfleet know we have Harrison in custody?”

“Yes, Captain. No response yet.”

“ _Engineering to bridge_.”

Jane finally turned away from the window and sat down in her chair. “Miss Masters, give me some good news.”

“ _We found the leak, but the damage is substantial. Mr. Kyle and I are working on it._ ”

“Any idea what caused it?”

“ _No, Captain. But I accept full responsibility_.”

But Jane was recalling Harrison’s words; how he knew about the malfunction… “Something tells me it wasn’t your fault. Stay on it.” She closed off the channel.

“Shuttle is standing by, Captain,” said Uhura.

Jane opened up the channel. “Bones, how’s it going?”

“ _You know, when I dreamt about being stuck on a deserted planet with a gorgeous woman, there was no torpedo._ ”

Jane rolled her eyes, but it was with a smile. “Bones, while I don’t mind flirting between crew members, you have a job to do.”

“ _So how can these legendary hands help you, Dr. Marcus?_ ”

“Bones…” She just left it as Carol began to explain the procedure, which made McCoy bring up the incident with the pregnant Gorn. Jane and Sulu exchanged glances, wondering why the hell he was bringing it up _and going into detail about it_. It had been bad enough watching him do it at the time.

Her counterpart felt the same way. _And I thought my fight with one was messy._

_I would have taken the fight any day_. Jane listened as Carol explained about the wires; McCoy needed to cut the twenty-third wire down, and not touch anything else.

“ _Wait for my word. I’m re-routing the detonation processor,_ ” said Carol. Jane bit her lip as she listened, feeling powerless.

_If only I was down there…_

Suddenly McCoy cried out, and a countdown appeared on the screen.

“Captain, the torpedo just armed itself!” said Sulu.

“Ze varhead vill detonate in zirty seconds!” Chekov added.

“ _What the hell happened?! I can’t get my arm out!_ ” came McCoy’s panicked voice.

Jane rose from her chair and Uhura ran to her side. “Target their signals; beam them back now!”

“Transporter cannot separate Dr. McCoy from the torpedo.” Spock rose from his chair also, and Jane could see the panic in his eyes. “We cannot beam back one without the other.”

_I thought those two…_

_It seems like that most of the time, but they liked each other a lot_.

“Dr. Marcus, can you disarm the warhead?” asked Jane.

“ _I’m trying!_ ”

“ _Jane, get her the hell outta here!_ ”

“ _No! If you beam me back, he dies! Let me do it!_ ”

Jane found herself torn between beaming Carol back and letting her stay there. “Standing by to transport Dr. Marcus on your command, Captain,” said Sulu.

But Jane chose to wait, hoping Carol could stop it, listening as McCoy started counting down out loud… He got to two when Carol did it, and the countdown stopped.

“Deactivation successful, Captain,” said Spock.

Jane sighed, leaning against the helm, while Uhura rested a hand upon her shoulder in relief. “Bones, are you alright?” Jane asked. “Bones, can you hear me?”

There was silence and Jane feared the worst, until his startled voice came through, proving that whatever Harrison had been hinting at…he had been right.

“ _Jane…you’re gonna wanna see this._ ”

\---

Jane hurried down to medical with Spock behind her and didn’t stop until they were through the door. “What’ve we got?”

“It’s quite clever, actually.” Carol, McCoy, M’Benga and Chapel were surrounding the torpedo, helping to take it apart. “The fuel container has been removed from the torpedo and retro-fitted to hide this cryo-tube.”

Which Jane couldn’t understand; why would a cryo-tube be inside a torpedo?

_I’ve dealt with cryo-tubes before_ , said her elder counterpart. _But not like this_.

Jane walked over to where McCoy and Chapel were scanning the man inside. “Is he alive?”

“He's alive,” replied McCoy.

“But if we try to revive him without the proper sequencing, it could kill him,” Chapel added. “Carol and I are attempting to work out the sequencing now. The technology is beyond us, though.”

“How advanced, Nurse Chapel?” asked Spock.

But Carol shook her head. “It’s not advanced. That cryo-tube is ancient.”

“It’s understandable,” said M’Benga. “We haven’t needed to freeze anybody since we developed warp-capability.”

“Which explains a most interesting thing about our friend here,” said McCoy. “He’s three hundred years old.”

Jane stared, and in her head she could feel her counterpart freeze. _Your cryo-tubes?_

_Yes…and whatever you do, don’t wake him up, for the love of God_.

\---

Harrison didn’t look surprised to see them, which Jane suspected. He also didn’t look surprised when she asked, “Why is there a man in that torpedo?”

“There are men and women in all those torpedoes, Captain,” he replied. “I put them there.”

“So who are they?”

He paused. “Remnants of a time long passed; genetically engineered to be superior so as to lead others to peace in a world at war. Condemned as criminals…forced into exile…sleeping for centuries, hoping that things would be better when awakened…” He glanced at Spock. “But after the destruction of Vulcan, your Starfleet began to aggressively search distant quadrants and found the sleeper ship floating adrift.”

_The augments from the Eugenics Wars_ , said the elderly Jane. _We woke them up, and things didn’t go so well after that_.

“I looked up John Harrison,” said Jane. “Until under a year ago, he didn’t exist.”

“The name ‘John Harrison’ was a fiction created by your Admiral Marcus as a smokescreen to conceal my true identity. My name…is… _Khan_.”

Jane suddenly felt a great feeling of dread pass through her counterpart, and she somehow knew that the elder woman’s face had turned ghost white. _Who is he?_

But all she heard in response were two words. _Oh…shit…_


	20. Space Arena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truths are revealed...

_So, I’m guessing this is bad…_

_He’s one of them; the augments_ , said the elder Jane. _He’s the leader…and the most dangerous out of them all. Jane, listen to me; you take him to one of the airlocks and you fire him off your ship this instant._

_Why?_

_I’ll explain later; please, just do as I say_.

Jane pressed a hand to her head; she looked up at Spock, who was sending her a questioning look, and then at Harrison, who looked surprisingly confused by her actions. Then she stepped away, and Spock followed. “Judging by your actions, I can tell that your counterpart knows of him.”

“She just told me to launch him out of the airlock, but she won’t explain why,” said Jane. _And why didn’t you recognize him before?_

_Obviously, he’s undergone plastic surgery_ , said the elder Jane. _He was an Indian man – Khan Noonien Singh – when I met him. Although his facial structure is similar; it was why I vaguely recognized him_.

“His name’s Khan Noonien Singh and he’s had plastic surgery,” Jane passed on to Spock. _Just tell me what happened, otherwise I’m gonna go talk to him again_.

_I’ll tell you once I’m over the shock and the bad memories stop coming_ , said her counterpart. _You can keep talking to him; I’ll listen. I wanna know about this as much as you do_.

So Jane walked back over again, and if Khan had heard her discussion, he didn’t reveal anything. “So why would a Starfleet Admiral ask a three hundred year old frozen man for help?”

“Because I am better.”

“At what?”

“Everything. Alexander Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time, and for that he needed a warrior’s mind – _my_ mind – to design weapons and warships.”

“You are suggesting the Admiral violated every regulation he vowed to uphold simply because he wanted to exploit your intellect?” asked Spock.

_It doesn’t sound like something Admiral Marcus would do_ , the elder Jane agreed.

“He wanted to exploit my savagery,” said Khan. “Intellect alone is useless in a fight, Mr. Spock; you can’t even break a rule, so how can you be expected to break _bone_?”

_Maybe I should show him the memory of Spock crashing through the door?_

_That would be interesting_ , Jane admitted.

Khan began to pace. “Marcus used me to design weapons to help him realize his vision of a militarized Starfleet. He sent you, Kirk, to use those weapons; to fire my torpedoes on an unsuspecting planet. And then he purposely crippled your ship in enemy Space, leading to one inevitable outcome: the Klingons would come searching for whomever was responsible, and you would have no chance of escape. Marcus would finally have the war he talked about; the war he always wanted.”

_…As much of an asshole he is, he does have a point_.

But Jane shook her head and went to stand by Spock. “No. I watched you open fire into a room filled with unarmed, Starfleet officers; you killed them in cold blood!”

He turned away, eyes screwed shut, almost as if regretting that choice. _Almost_. “Marcus took my crew from me!”

“You are a _murderer_!” Spock laid a gentle hand upon Jane’s shoulder, sending her calming emotions, which worked for the most part. She calmed down enough to hear Khan out.

“He used my friends to control me! I tried…to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the very weapons I had designed. But I was discovered. I had no choice but to escape alone. And when I did…I had every reason to suspect that Marcus had killed _every single one_ of the people I hold most dear. So I responded in kind.”

_This isn’t an act_ , said the elder Jane. _I can only say one good thing about him; no matter what he did, he always cared about his crew_.

When Khan turned, Jane saw the single tear running down his face and believed her counterpart’s words. “My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there anything you would not do for your family?”

Her crew. They had become her family, she realized only then. She still had her mother, her brother and his family…but the crew were more than friends, she realized. _And they always will be_ , said the voice of her counterpart.

The room’s comm suddenly beeped. “ _Proximity alert, Captain. There’s a ship at warp heading straight for us._ ”

“Klingons?”

“At warp?” said Khan. “No, Kirk. We both know who it is.”

“ _I don’t think so,_ ” Sulu replied. “ _They’re not coming from Qo’Nos._ ”

_Marcus…_

_I hate that he’s right_ , said the elder Jane.

Jane backed away before she began to run. “Lemli, Leslie; move Khan to sickbay and post four other officers on him alongside yourselves.”

Spock followed her up to the bridge and they arrived together. “How long until they get here?” asked Jane.

“Three seconds, Captain.”

Jane took her seat. “Shields up.”

“Aye, Captain.”

Jane watched the screen, waiting… _This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening…_ And when the ship arrived, she caught her breath.

It was dark, she saw, and she realized it was the same ship which had been modelled on the Admiral’s desk. It was also big – very big – and Jane guessed it was at least two times the size of the Enterprise. She tried not to let her eyes widen in front of her crew, despite knowing that they were having similar reactions. _How the hell did I miss that monster upon my visit to Section 31?_

_Starfleet never had a ship that big in my timeline_ , said the elder Jane. _That ship’s obviously illegal._

_Which makes one wonder why Marcus had a model of it on his desk._

_Hiding in plain sight, perhaps?_

“They’re hailing us, Captain,” said Uhura.

“On screen. And broadcast ship-wide for the record.” Jane took in a deep breath, composing herself, before crossing her legs to look as casual as she could. If Marcus suspected anything…

_Is there anything you would not do for your family?_ The words kept repeating themselves in her head. _Just don’t panic…they’ll be fine…just don't panic…_

Admiral Marcus appeared on screen. “ _Captain Kirk._ ”

She strained a smile and sighed with obvious relief; she had to keep up the pretence. “Admiral Marcus, I wasn’t expecting you. That’s a hell of a ship you got there. Never thought to show it to me during my visit to Section 31?”

“ _And I wasn’t expecting to get word that you’d taken Harrison into custody in violation of your orders,_ ” he said, ignoring her question. Intentionally ignoring it, she realized.

“Well…not only did he surrender to us, but we had to improvise when our warp-core unexpectedly malfunctioned,” she informed him. “But you already knew that, didn’t you, sir?” She couldn’t resist the jab.

His eyes narrowed. “ _I don’t take your meaning._ ”

She thought fast. _OK, maybe that had been too soon._

_You think? The longer you keep up the curtain, the better_.

_Jabs are my thing. Sorry_. “Well, that’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To assist with our repairs? Why else would the head of Starfleet personally come to the edge of Klingon Space, putting himself at risk in the process? Although in a ship like that, I can’t imagine you'd have much of a problem if we _are_ attacked by Klingons.”

_OK, that jab was a little subtler._

_Thank you_.

“Captain, they’re scanning our ship,” said Sulu.

Jane raised an eyebrow; she found she was enjoying this far more than she ought to be. “Is there something I can help you find, sir?”

“ _Where’s your prisoner, Kirk?_ ” He got straight to the point, confirming to Jane the real reason why he’d come to her. He wanted Khan dead, but not because of what the augment had done – but because he knew too much.

“As per Starfleet regulations, I’m planning on returning Khan Noonien Singh to Earth, so he can stand trial for his actions.” She smiled.

_OK, maybe saying that was going too far._

_The curtain had to be drawn at some point_.

And the Admiral sighed. “ _Well shit, you talked to him. And what’s with his last name? Did he tell that to you?_ ”

“Someone else did.”

“ _The same person who informed you about Starfleet’s top secrets?_ ” asked the Admiral. “ _We know it wasn’t that other Spock; he vowed not to say a word about his timeline to any of us. He wouldn’t make an exception with you._ ”

“Let’s just say I’m in constant contact with someone else from that timeline,” said Jane. “And right now, she’s telling me you can’t be responsible for almost starting a war with the Klingons; that in her time, you were respected and praised.”

“ _And I still am,_ ” Marcus said. “ _I took a tactical risk and woke that bastard up, believing his intelligence could help us protect ourselves from whatever came at us next. But I made a mistake, and now the blood of everybody he’s killed is on my hands. I’m asking you to give him to me, so I can end what I started._ ”

Jane found herself torn. _OK, who the hell do I believe?_

_I wish I could say Marcus, but then none of this would add up._

_Fine_. “And what exactly would you like me to do with the rest of his crew, sir?” she asked. “Fire them at the Klingons? End seventy-two lives? Star a war in the process?”

“ _He put those people in those torpedoes._ ”

“According to him, you didn’t give him much of a choice.”

Marcus ignored her. “ _I didn’t wanna burden you with knowing what was inside of them. You saw what this man can do all by himself; can you imagine what would happen if we woke up the rest of his crew?_ ”

“I didn’t say we were gonna wake them up-”

He ignored her again. “ _What else did he tell you? That he’s a peace-keeper?! He's playing you, Kirk! Don’t you see that? Khan and his crew were condemned to death as war criminals. And now it’s our duty to carry out that sentence before anyone else dies because of him._ ”

_He’s right about that, but if you lower your shields, there’ll be nothing stopping Marcus from firing on you_ , said the elder Jane. _He already tried to send you to your deaths_.

Jane found herself exchanging a glance with Spock, who was trying – but failing – to hide his worry behind his usual stoic expression.

“ _Now, I’m gonna ask you again, one last time, Kirk_ ,” said Marcus. “ _Lower your shields, and tell me where he is._ ”

_Bluff. Tell him the wrong location, and then get the hell outta there._

_If you say so_. Jane sighed. “He’s in engineering, sir. But I’ll have him moved to the transporter room right away.”

“ _I’ll take it from here._ ” The transmission cut off.

Jane immediately rose from her seat. “Chekov, Sulu, do not drop those shields, whatever you do.”

“Aye, Captain.”

“Yes, Keptin.”

“Captain, given your awareness of Khan’s true location in sickbay, may I know the details of your plan?” Spock asked.

_Does he always catch on that fast?_

_He and I had a thing going_.

“I told Marcus we were bringing a fugitive back to Earth,” she replied. “That’s what we’re gonna do.” She opened a channel to engineering. “Masters, can we warp?”

“ _The criminal’s here?! Why didn’t you tell me?!_ ”

Jane rolled her eyes. “He’s not, Mr. Kyle. It was a bluff. Charlene, can we warp?”

“ _Captain, if we go to warp, we run the risk of seriously damaging the core!_ ”

“But can we do it?”

She sighed. “ _Technically yes, but I wouldn’t recommend it._ ”

“Noted.” She cut him off. “Chekov, Sulu, set course for Earth.” Both nodded as Jane sat back down in her seat. “Punch it.”

They were at warp within seconds. _Let’s hope things go well from here_ , said the elder Jane.

_Good thing you didn’t say that out loud, otherwise we would’ve been in trouble_. “Lt. Uhura, contact Starfleet. Tell them we were pursued into Klingon Space by an unmarked Federation ship.”

“Comms are down, Captain.” Uhura sighed in frustration.

Suddenly Carol showed up in the doorway, closely followed by McCoy. “Permission to come on the bridge?”

“Dr. Marcus?” Jane rose from her seat as she nodded, and Carol hurried over to her with McCoy. Jane could see the genuine fear and panic in the woman’s eyes, along with the confusion in the eyes of her CMO. Something was up. “What is it?”

“He’s going to catch up with us, and when he does the only thing that’s going to stop him from destroying this ship is me, so you have to let me talk to him,” she explained.

But Jane frowned in confusion. “Carol, we’re at warp; he can’t catch up with us.”

“That’s what I told her,” said McCoy.

“Yes he can,” said Carol. “He’s been developing a ship that has advanced warp capabilities.”

“Captain!” They both turned to the helm, where Chekov and Sulu were looking both confused and fearful. “We’re getting a reading we don’t understand.”

Suddenly the ship was hit. The entire bridge shook, and Jane was able to push Carol aside as they fell; Carol landed against McCoy, who shielded her from the tumble. Chekov left his post to assist Yeoman Landon.

_Jane! Get up!_ Her counterpart’s voice rang loud and clear in her ears, and Jane struggled to pick herself up. She hurried over to where Uhura had tumbled out of her chair, and Kevin joined her in helping the Communications Officer to her feet. Jane then went to help Spock to his feet as the ship was thrown out of warp.

“Where are we?!” she demanded.

“We're 270,000 kilometres from Earth!” said Sulu, after picking himself off from the floor.

Jane bit her lip. “Report!”

“Veapons are down, Keptin!” said Chekov. “Shields are dropping!”

“We have a bulkhead breach,” said Landon.

“The damage?” Jane turned to Riley.

“Major hull damage, Captain,” he reported. “Crew have been lost!”

A cord was struck within Jane. _I couldn’t protect them…_ The firing started again, and the entire ship shook. “Evasive manoeuvres! Get us to Earth!” _Help me!_

_I don’t know anything about that ship! I can’t help from here! I’m sorry!_

Carol grabbed her arm. “Captain, everybody on this ship is going to die if you don’t let me speak to him!”

_Take it! She’s his daughter!_

Jane nodded. “Uhura, hail him.”

Carol turned to the screen. “Sir…it’s me. It’s Carol.”

The firing immediately stopped, and the video feed of a shocked looking Admiral Marcus appeared on the screen. “ _What are you doing on that ship?_ ”

“I heard what you said,” she told him, “that you made a mistake and that you’re doing everything you can to fix it. But Dad…I don’t believe that the man who _raised_ me is capable of destroying a ship full of innocent people. And…if I’m wrong about that…then you’re going to have to do it with me on board.”

But Marcus shook his head. “ _Actually, Carol, I won’t_.”

And suddenly she was beaming out. “Carol!” McCoy cried.

Jane’s eyes widened. Carol had only been on the ship for a day, but she was still part of the crew…her family… “Can you intercept the transport signal, Chekov?!” she asked.

“No, Keptin!”

Carol began to run, screaming, but she didn’t even reach the turbo-lift before she was beamed away. Jane could only watch in horror.

“ _Captain Kirk, I’m gonna have to assume you are in league with the fugitive John Harrison and that you went rogue in enemy territory. This leaves me no choice but to hunt you down and destroy you._ ”

_No… No, no, no, no, no!_ Jane shook her head, trying to fight back the tears of desperation as she ran over to the screen. “Wait, sir, wait, wait, wait! Sir, my crew were just following my orders! I take…I take full responsibility for my actions, but they were _mine_ , and they were _mine_ alone. If I transmit Khan’s location to you now, all that I ask is that you spare them.” A single tear ran down her face as she stared at the face of the man she had trusted – whom her counterpart had trusted – but had broken that trust. “ _Please_ , sir. I’ll do anything you want. Just let them live.”

His expression never changed. “ _That’s a…hell of an apology. But if it’s any consolation, I was never gonna spare your crew._ ”

A feeling of dread thudded itself into place within her as the transmission cut off, and Jane suddenly understood the meaning of the _Kobayashi Maru_ test. There was no way out; no way they could survive, no way they could escape, and it was her fault. Because of her, the crew – her _family_ – were as good as dead. Not even her counterpart was speaking.

She turned and Spock was there. He was staring down at her, trying to look unafraid…but Jane could see the fear in his eyes, the fear he’d tried so hard to hide before. She thought he would start blaming her for putting him and everyone around them into this position…but he didn’t. Instead he gently took her hand in his, and Jane felt overwhelming emotions…fear, courage, anger, regret…

… _love_.

Jane turned and faced the rest of the bridge crew, some standing at their posts while others were standing side by side. Sulu had risen from his seat and was stood next to McCoy, while Chekov and Landon were holding hands. Kevin Riley was standing next to Uhura and sending Jane a look of bravery – the same one he had been able to muster back on Tarsus IV, all those years ago.

They were going to die because of her. And all Jane could say was, “I’m sorry.” 


	21. Assignment Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Khan team up to save their crews.

Jane waited for the firing to come. But when a minute passed and nothing came, she frowned. “What’s going on over there?”

“Zeir veapons suddenly powered down,” said Chekov.

“Like someone just reset the entire ship,” Sulu added, taking his seat again.

“ _Enterprise, can you hear me?_ ”

_That’s…that’s Scotty!_ The elder Jane’s voice rang loud and clear.

Jane, eyes wide, turned back to the screen. His face didn’t appear, but it didn’t matter. “Scotty?! Where are you?”

“ _Guess what I found behind Jupiter!_ ”

Jane wanted to jump up and down in utter joy. “You’re on that ship!”

_That man’s a miracle worker_. The elder Jane was smiling.

“ _I snuck on, and it seems I’ve committed an act of treason against a Starfleet Admiral, so I’d really like to get off this bloody ship! Have Kyle beam me out!_ ”

“I have to agree with my counterpart; you’re a miracle worker.” Jane smiled. “Listen, we’re a little low on power, but stand by!”

“ _What do you mean ‘low on power’? What happened to the Enterprise?_ ” There was a thud in the background. “ _Call you back!_ ” The comm cut off.

“Scotty?” Jane turned. “Spock, our ship, how is she?”

“Our options are limited, Captain; we cannot call Earth for help, we cannot fire and we cannot flee.”

_I can’t think of any alternative, unless you can find a way to get aboard that other ship_.

Jane tried to think. _But to do that, we would need…_ She had an idea. “There is one other option. We’re taking the ship.”

_Jane… No! Jane, I heard that plan! Don’t even think about it!_

But Jane ignored her. “Uhura, when you get Scotty back, patch him through. Spock, you have the conn. Bones, with me.” She hurried over to the turbo-lift with McCoy and leapt inside, but right before the doors closed, Spock followed her in. “Spock, I said you-”

“Captain, I strongly object!”

Jane resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow; now wasn’t the time. “To what? I haven’t said anything.”

“Since we cannot take that ship from the outside, the only way we can take it is from within.” The turbo-lift doors opened and Jane walked out with McCoy, Spock still following. “And as a large boarding party will be detected, you will need to take as few members of the crew as possible. You will need someone with advanced combat abilities and knowledge of that ship. This indicates that you plan to align with Khan; the very man we were sent here to destroy.”

“I’m not aligning with him; I’m using him,” said Jane. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

“An Arabic proverb attributed to a Prince who was later betrayed and decapitated by his own subjects.”

Jane resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Spock's difficulty. “Still, it’s a hell of a quote.”

“I will go with you, Captain.”

“While I appreciate it, Spock, I need you on the bridge.”

But he placed a firm hand upon her shoulder, turning her as they both paused in the hallway. “I cannot allow you to do this!”

Jane sighed. “Bones, go on ahead. I’ll meet you in sickbay in a moment.” McCoy nodded wordlessly and carried on.

Spock continued, “It is my function aboard this ship to advice you on making the wisest decisions possible; something I firmly believe you are incapable of doing in this moment!”

“You’re right!” she snapped. “ _Everyone’s_ right! Pike, the Admirals, _you_ ; I’m not ready for this! What I’m about to do… it doesn’t make any sense, it’s not logical – it’s a _gut feeling_! Almost all the time I’ve been on this ship, I’ve been listening to a voice in my head – and voice that’s _not even supposed to be there_ – and she’s the only reason we’ve gotten out of all those situations _alive_! But now she hasn’t got a clue, leaving me to do… _something_ , and this…this _plan_ …it’s all I’ve got. I can see now that when it comes to being Captain, I have _no idea_ what I’m supposed to do. I only know what I _can_ do. The _Enterprise_ and her crew need someone in that chair who knows what they’re doing. And that’s not me; it’s _you_ , Spock.”

Jane was able to see the emotion in his eyes – the confusion, the sympathy, the regret – before she turned and continued on to medical, and she felt him watching her until she turned a corner. It was only then that she allowed a tear to fall – the second that day, and she had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last.

_Jane…Jane, listen to me for a moment_.

Jane paused and lent against the wall, taking in deep breaths as she gathered herself. _What? Do you have a better plan? Because I’m willing to go with anything right now_.

_You really bring yourself down. You’re a good Captain_.

Jane rolled her eyes. _For the past year, I’ve been going by what you tell me to do! I haven’t made any decisions for myself!_

_You came up with the plan to rescue the Galileo, you gave the Romulans the talking to they needed and got them on peaceful terms with the Federation, and you saved Spock from that flower-_

_I’ll give myself credit for the Galileo, but the Romulan plan was Spock’s; I just got angry at them. And saving Spock from that flower did more harm than good! Every other incident was solved either by you or Spock! I’m useless!_ She hit her hand against the wall.

_You’re not useless!_

_How do you know?_

_Because you’re me! I’m you!_ Jane could almost feel her counterpart resting her hands on her shoulder. _When I first became Captain, I felt the same way as you do now. I didn’t know if I could do it. But then I realized…that not only were my crew counting on me, but they believed in me. You’re young, you’re inexperienced, and that’s OK; that’s how all Captains start out. But if you’re anything like me – and I know you are – you’ll become the greatest Captain in the Federation_.

Jane found herself calming down at her counterpart’s words. Her crew were counting on her… She couldn’t let them down now. _So, the plan…?_

_I don’t like it, but I understand that it’s all we’ve got. Just keep an eye on him_.

Jane nodded and continued on to medical. She was able to compose herself, and when she arrived she sent Khan a glare which told him she meant business. “Tell me everything you know about that ship.”

“ _Dreadnought_ class,” he said.

Jane blinked. “There was one before it?”

“A prototype; long gone,” he replied. “Two times the size, three times the speed, advanced weaponry and modified for a minimal crew. Unlike most Federation vessels, it’s built sorely for combat. And it has advanced warp capabilities.”

“Yeah, thanks for the heads up about that, by the way.” She tried not to roll her eyes; this was serious business. “Listen closely; I will do everything I can to make you answer for what you did. But right now I need your help.”

“In exchange for what?”

_His crew; he’ll do anything for his crew._

_I know_. “You said you’d do anything for your crew. I can guarantee their safety.”

“Captain… You can’t even guarantee the safety of your _own_ crew.”

Jane almost snapped back…but a sight behind Khan caught her attention. “Bones, what the hell are you doing with that Tribble?”

McCoy was sat down at his desk, the creature in front of him. “It’s the dead one I kept from that…incident two months ago,” he explained. “I’m injecting Khan’s blood into its tissue. His cells regenerate like nothing I’ve ever seen, and I wanna know why.”

Leaving him to it, Jane turned back to Khan. “Look, I know you want revenge for what Marcus did; I saw the aftermath myself. So I know you’ll help me get over to that ship anyway you can. Not to mention that unless you help me, Marcus will fire on us and then we’re _all_ gonna die – _including your crew_. So I suggest you wipe the smug off your face, shut your mouth and get your regenerating ass into gear.”

Khan suddenly rose from the bed he was sat upon, and the security officers around them moved in closer. But he did nothing but stare at her…looking almost _impressed_.

“In this time, I have never met anyone with courage,” he said. “Not even Marcus; he only had ignorance. But you…you are the first. No one has ever talked to me in such a way before, ordering me to do something… I admire a man – or woman, in your case – with that kind of courage.”

Jane heard her counterpart sigh in relief. _He’s on our side, for now_.

\---

“ _You want to do what?!_ ”

Jane had to admit that the plan sounded stupid and risky, but they didn’t have a choice. With the security officers around them, she walked down the _Enterprise_ ’s halls with Khan by her side. “We’re coming over there, Scotty, as soon as Sulu manoeuvres the _Enterprise_ into position.”

“ _But how are you getting here, Cap’n?_ ”

Jane held her communicator to Khan. “There’s a cargo door, hanger 7, access port 101A. Find the manual override to open that airlock.”

“ _Are you crazy…whoever you are?_ ”

“Just listen to him, Scotty. It’s gonna be alright,” Jane assured him.

“ _It’s not gonna be alright; you want me to open an airlock into Space, whereupon I will freeze, die and explode!_ ”

“In that order?” Jane raised an amused eyebrow.

After the officers escorted them to the airlock – whereupon she and Khan changed into Space suits – the two then lowered themselves down into the lock. Khan went down first, followed by Jane, and she signalled to Lemli and Leslie above. They signalled back before closing the hatch. _Did you ever do this before?_

_Nothing this drastic; you get to have all the fun_.

Jane rolled her eyes, gaining a confused look from Khan. “It’s, uh… You heard my transmission to Marcus, right? I have a little voice in my head telling me what to do. It’s a long story.”

“Your counterpart.”

She wasn’t surprised. “You catch on fast.” She didn’t bother to tell him the rest; if he didn’t betray them, she supposed she could tell him her life story later. “Scotty, how you doing over there?”

“ _Cap’n, I wish I had better news. They’ve locked out access to the ship’s computer. It won’t be long before their weapons are online again, and next time I won’t be able to stop them from destroying the Enterprise. Stand by._ ”

“Copy.” Jane shifted in her suit. _Man, I feel nervous._

_You’ll be fine._

_But you said you’ve never done this before!_

_You’ve done it, remember? At least that’s what you told me._

_I know. And frankly I can’t decide which situation is worse_.

Spock patched through. “ _Captain, the ships are aligned._ ”

“Good. Scotty, update.”

“ _I’ve reached the hanger. Give me a minute._ ” She heard him begin to pant. “ _I’m running. Stand by._ ” This was followed by a tired groan. And then… “ _Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, Cap’n! This door is very wee. I mean, you know, it’s small. It’s four square metres tops. It’s gonna be like…jumping out of a moving car, off a bridge, into your shot glass!_ ”

Jane once again recalled the jump onto the drill a year ago. “It’s OK, I’ve done it before.” When she noticed Khan giving her a surprised look, she explained, “On Vulcan, there was this vertical drill…we had to jump down onto this…platform… It doesn’t matter. I led a very interesting life!”

Khan turned away, and Jane swore that he rolled his eyes as he did. “Did you find the manual override?”

“ _Not yet! Not yet!_ ” He was running again. “ _Bloody hell, I’m gonna lose a pound after this!_ ”

“You can think about your weight later, Scotty.”

“ _Captain, you should be aware that there is a debris field between the two ships,_ ” said Spock.

“Noted. Scotty, you good?”

“ _It’s not easy, OK! Just give me two seconds, you crazy lass!_ ” While they waited Khan knelt down ready, and after hesitating, Jane did the same. “ _OK, I’m set to open the door._ ”

Jane nodded and turned to Khan. “You ready?”

“Are you?”

The display compass appeared on the helmet before her. “Spock, pull the trigger.”

She could almost feel him hesitating. “ _Yes, Captain. Launching activation sequence on three…two…one._ ”

The door opened, and the two shot out.

Jane felt like she had travelled back through time to a year before; she even swore she saw the drill before her, shooting down into Vulcan, creating a hole to the planet’s core, part of a plan that would destroy it for good…

She shook her head. _That was then. This is now. Focus_.

“ _Captain, there is debris directly ahead!_ ”

“Copy that!” Jane activated the thrusters in her suit and swerved to the side, avoiding the debris.

“ _Whoa! Jane! You’re way off course!_ ” came McCoy’s voice.

Jane wondered briefly what he was doing there. _What happened to his Tribble?_ “I know, I know, I can see that!” She used the thrusters and the display compass to try and get back to Khan. “Scotty, you’re gonna be ready with that door, right?” There was no response. “Scotty, where are you?”

“ _Captain, he can’t seem to hear you,_ ” said Uhura. “ _I’m working on getting his signal back. Stand by._ ”

Something hit her helmet, and Jane cursed under her breath. “Dammit!”

“ _Captain?_ ” There was slight panic in Spock’s voice.

“My helmet was hit,” she explained. “Uhura, tell me you have Mr. Scott back!”

“ _I’m still trying to get a signal. His communicator’s working, but I don’t understand why he’s not responding._ ”

_He better not have a bottle of scotch with him._

_Still don’t wanna know_. Jane looked to her left to try and find Khan. “Was Khan hit?”

“ _We are trying to find him now_ ,” said Spock.

“ _Captain,_ ” Sulu spoke up, “ _you need to adjust your target destination._ ”

“I know! I know!” But the crack on her screen was getting larger, affecting her display compass, and the debris she had to keep avoiding certainly wasn’t helping. And then the compass failed. _Why does this always happen to me?_ “Spock, my display compass is gone; I’m flying blind!”

“ _Captain, without your display compass, hitting your target destination is mathematically impossible._ ”

“Spock, if I get back, we really need to talk about your bedside manner.”

_I was never able to solve Spock’s bedside manner problem._

_Instead of commentating, you could help?_

_How, exactly?_

But before Jane could resort, she heard a surprisingly welcome voice. “ _My display is still functioning,_ ” said Khan. “ _I see you, Kirk; you’re two hundred metres ahead of me at my one o’clock. Cut to your left a few degrees and follow me._ ”

Jane looked over before nodding, doing as he said. “Scotty, we’re getting close! We need a warm welcome. Do you copy?” There was still no response. “Do you copy, Scotty?”

“ _If you can hear us, Mr. Scott,”_ said Spock, _“open the door in ten, nine…_ ”

“Scotty!” Jane became more frantic as Spock continued to count down. But then, just at the last moment, the airlock opened and Jane and Khan flew in. Jane saw someone fly past and thought at first it was Scotty, to her horror…but the person was too large, and she could see Scotty hanging on to the control panel at the far end.

_Well, that’s why he didn’t respond._

_But he needs to close the airlock!_

The airlock closed, and both Jane and Khan fell to the floor, sliding along the hanger. They both attempted to turn and ended up rolling the rest of the way, only being able to stop right in front of Scotty.

“Welcome aboard.”

Jane sighed in frustration. “Scotty, remind me to hit you when this is over.” She picked herself up, straining from the bruises she _knew_ were going to be all over her in the morning.

“Who’s that?” Scotty nodded at Khan, who had risen and was looking around.

“Khan, Scotty. Scotty, Khan.”

“Hello!”

But Khan didn’t even look at him. “They’ll know we’re here. I know the best way to the bridge.” 


	22. The Devil is Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get worse...

Feeling relieved to be out of the suit, Jane took out a phaser from the container she’d brought along and gave it to Khan. “It’s locked to stun.”

He immediately overrode it and set it to kill. “Theirs won’t be,” he reasoned.

“Then try not to get shot,” she countered back.

Khan just began to jog through the ship, and after exchanging a look with Scotty – hers worry, his confusion – the pair followed. It was Scotty who spoke first, immediately protesting to their plan. “They’re gonna have full power soon, and we’re _walking?!_ ”

“The turbo-lifts are easily tracked, and Marcus will have us in a cage,” Khan explained. “This path runs through the engine room; they know they won’t be able to use their weapons here without destabilizing the warp-core, which gives us the advantage.”

He put away his phaser before running off, leaving Scotty free to ask, “Where’d you find this guy?”

Jane sighed as the two of them followed example and put away their phasers, too. “It’s a long story.”

_Jane, I need to tell you something-_

_Can it wait?_

_You need to keep a sharp eye on him, like I said before_ , the elder Jane explained. _Khan’s brilliant, ruthless, and he won’t hesitate to kill every single one of you._

_Look, I know you obviously had a bad run in with him, but right now-_

_He killed Spock_.

Jane froze, her face turning white. Scotty froze beside her, but he didn’t dare ask if something was the matter; it was like he instinctively knew Jane had just been told something by her counterpart.

The woman couldn’t speak…couldn’t move… She was instantly reminded of all those times when she could have lost him. Taurus II, Tarsus IV, Deneva, Gamma Trianguli VI, Phaedus, Nibiru… The mere thought of losing him was painful, but to know that she had actually lost him in another timeline…

But that was impossible. _But he… Your Spock’s alive. How could he have…?_

_We were able to resurrect him, but that’s another story. Jane…please…_

She could hear the desperation in her counterpart’s voice; feel the pain of the memory that obviously still haunted her…but she – none of them – had much choice _. I understand. But we need him_. She continued to run with Scotty, and they were able to catch up with Khan in engineering.

“I don’t mean to tempt fate here, but where is everybody?” asked Scotty.

Jane rolled her eyes. “Scotty, I’ve already given Spock a lesson on that; do I need to give one to you, too?”

Khan shushed them. “This ship was designed to be flown by minimal crew.”

“But why-?” Scotty was cut off when a security officer appeared, and Khan immediately turned to hit him without missing a beat. Another officer appeared and Khan took them both out with barely any effort.

Jane and Scotty only looked at each other before backing away slowly, and then they were attacked by officers, too. Scotty fell, unable to handle the attack, and Jane found herself fighting all of them one at a time. She was able to knock them out and helped Scotty to his feet, but when they turned back to their path, they saw that Khan was gone.

“Shit.” Jane cursed.

“This way.” They turned to find him behind them, and he gave them an almost disappointing look before hurrying away.

_Jane…_

She nodded. “The minute we get to the bridge, drop him.”

“I thought he was helping us?”

“I think we’re helping _him_. Besides, my counterpart will keep nagging me about it unless I do something.” They ran after Khan, and upon joining him they ran faster when the lights around them suddenly switched on. The power was back on line, meaning that Marcus was prepared to start shooting again.

The doors leading to the bridge opened, and Jane fired at the various crew on the bridge. She noticed Carol, who quickly helped in hitting the two officers holding her, and the bridge crew were all down in moments. Jane and Scotty cornered Marcus in his chair, and after a beat Jane gave a small nod. Scotty nodded back, took aim at Khan and stunned him. The augment fell.

“Make sure he stays down,” said Jane.

Scotty hurried over to the fallen Khan, passing Carol. “Excuse me.”

Jane turned back to Marcus. “Admiral Marcus, you’re under arrest.”

He didn’t look intimidated. “You’re not actually gonna do this, are you?”

“Admiral, get out of the chair.”

“You better stop and think about what you’re doing, Kirk,” said Marcus. “You better think about what you did on Qo’Nos; you made an incursion onto an enemy planet, you killed a Klingon patrol – even if you got away without a trace-”

“What, and firing torpedoes at them was any better?” she asked.

“War is coming!” he yelled. “And who’s gonna lead us?! _You?!_ If I’m not in charge, our entire way of life is decimated! So if you want me off this ship, then you better kill me!”

Jane shook her head. “I’m not gonna kill you, sir. But I could stun your ass and drag you out of that chair. I’d rather not do that in front of your daughter.” She looked over at Carol, who was shaking. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, Captain,” she replied.

_Wait a minute… Jane, what stun setting did Scotty use on Khan?_

_Why?_

_Because if it was the same one he used on the other crewmen, that’s not gonna affect him!_

Suddenly Khan leapt up, knocking Scotty over, and Jane was barely able to turn before Khan leapt at her and tackled her to the floor. “You bastard!” She tried to push him off her, but he simply punched her in the face, leaving her dizzy.

Jane blinked, trying to get up, before hearing a scream she realized was Carol’s. She looked up to see that Khan had broken her leg, and then watched helplessly as Khan matched over to the escaping Marcus. He took the man’s head between his hands, and Marcus cried out in pain.

“You…you should have _let me sleep_!”

There was a deafening crunch, and Carol screamed once more.

Khan then grabbed Jane and shoved her in front of the screen, hailing the _Enterprise_. “I’m going to make this very simple for you…”

Jane saw Spock’s eyes widen. “ _Captain!_ ”

“Your crew for my crew,” Khan continued.

“ _You betrayed us!_ ”

“Oh, you are smart, Mr. Spock!”

Jane took in a deep breath; if Spock did what Khan was asking, then the crew were at risk. “Spock, don’t-” She was cut off when Khan hit the back of her head, sending her to the floor, and she heard Spock call out for her again – dropping her title and calling her name.

“Mr. Spock,” she heard Khan continue, “give me my crew.”

“ _And what will you do when you get them?_ ”

“Continuing the work we were doing before we were banished.”

“ _Which as I understand involves the conquering and slavery of any being you find to be less than superior._ ”

“Shall I destroy you, Mr. Spock? Or will you give me what I want?”

Jane looked up; she saw Carol sat across from her, trembling and holding her leg in pain. She sent the blonde a reassuring look before turning over to watch the conversation.

_Jane, if Khan gets his crew back, they’ll be nothing stopping him from killing you all_.

She knew that now, and she hated herself for it. “Spock…”

“ _We have no transport capabilities._ ”

“Fortunately mine are perfectly functional; drop your shields.”

“Spock, don’t…” Khan kicked her again, and Jane doubled over in pain.

“ _If I do so, I have no guarantee you will not destroy the Enterprise._ ”

“Then let’s play this out logically, Mr. Spock. Firstly I _will_ kill your Captain to demonstrate my resolve. Then if yours holds I will have no choice but to kill you and your entire crew. Your crew needs oxygen to survive; mine does not. I will target your life support systems, and after every single person aboard your ship suffocates, I will walk over your cold corpses to recover my people. Now…shall we begin?”

There was a pause, and Jane looked up to see Spock’s expression; she knew he was defeated. “ _Lower shields._ ”

“A wise choice, Mr. Spock.”

Khan kicked Jane again, and she began to cough from the pain it was causing her lungs. “Enough with the kicking, will you?!”

But he ignored her and moved over to the helm. “I see your seventy-two torpedoes are still in their tubes. If they are not mine, Commander, I will know it.”

“ _Vulcans cannot lie. The torpedoes are yours._ ”

_Wait…he’s up to something._

_You can tell?_

_I married him, remember?_

Khan sighed with relief as he transported the torpedoes aboard. “Thank you, Mr. Spock.”

“ _I have fulfilled your terms, now fulfil mine._ ”

Khan sat down in the Captain’s chair. “Well, Kirk…it seems apt to return you to your crew. After all…no ship should go down without her Captain.”

_…And I knew that was coming_.

Jane was just able to get to her feet as she felt herself being beamed back to the _Enterprise_ , but upon arrival, she realized that she, Scotty and Carol were in the brig – specifically, Khan’s cell. Outside Lemli and Leslie sent the trio confused looks.

“Let us outta here now!” Scotty yelled.

The ship suddenly shook and they were thrown off their feet. Lemli hurried over and let them out, before Jane and Scotty grabbed Carol and carried her to medical.

Spock’s voice sounded over the comms. “ _Enterprise, prepare for proximity detonation in twelve seconds._ ”

“What’s he talking about?” asked Scotty.

_He bluffed! He sent Khan the torpedoes, but he armed them!_

Jane’s eyes widened. “The torpedoes! He armed the damn torpedoes!”

The ship shook again, but not as badly, and Jane realized that had been the torpedoes going off. They reached medical, and after handed Carol over to Chapel and M’Benga, Jane turned to McCoy.

He was smiling at her. “Good to see you, Jane.”

“Did you help Spock detonate those torpedoes?” she asked. She guessed so from where he was holding his arm in pain – after getting it trapped seventy-one times.

He nodded. “Damn right I did.”

She looked down. They had been tyrants, but… “He killed Khan’s crew.”

“Spock’s cold but not _that_ cold. _I’ve_ got Khan’s crew.” Jane didn’t protest against McCoy’s statement as she looked over to where he was pointing; over to the cryo-tubes laid out down the hall. “Seventy-two Human popsicles; safe and sound in their cryo-tubes.”

Jane’s eyes widened. _He actually…bluffed?_

_He’s good, isn’t he?_

“Son of a bitch.”

_Hey, that’s my mother-in-law you’re talking about!_

Suddenly the lights flickered off before the ship began to swerve, and Jane grabbed onto a nearby bed in order to prevent herself from falling. “The power’s failed, and we must be caught in Earth’s gravity!” said Scotty.

“Engage emergency lockdown!” McCoy hurried over to secure Carol to her bed, as all around him Chapel, M'Benga and the other doctors and nurses did the same with the other patients. Other officers quickly fastened themselves into seats which came out of the walls.

Jane and Scotty hurried out and began to make their way down the halls, clinging onto the walls to keep themselves steady. “One day I’ve been off this ship!” Scotty yelled to no one in particular. “One _bloody_ day!”

The ship suddenly turned on its side, causing them both to fall, and they were able to grab onto a railing of a walkway to prevent from sliding away. Jane tried to grab another falling crew member but missed. Amidst the sounds of crewmen screaming in terror and things breaking around them, the evacuation order sounded like a beacon of false hope.

“There won't be time for evacuation if we don’t get power to stabilize the damn ship!” Scotty yelled above the noise.

“Can we restore it?” asked Jane.

“Only from engineering! We have to get back to the warp-core!” The ship rightened itself and they were able to stand up, but looking above them, they saw that one of the walkways had snapped with crewmen struggling to hold on for dear life. “Jane…”

Jane looked away; seeing her crew in peril… Her stomach was lurching, and not from the movements of the ship. “Scotty, we’ve gotta get the power back on! Come on!”

They both hurried away, sprinting down the hallways and occasionally being forced to run on the walls as the ship kept on turning. Equipment was smashing and crewmen were falling all around them, but Jane kept her focus in front of her. _I have to save the ship…save the crew…like Dad did…Spock, hold on…_

While running on one of the walls, she saw a gap up ahead. “We gotta jump!”

“What?”

“Jump!”

“Oh, God!” They both jumped over the gap.

They reached engineering, but the ship turned once more and threw them off balance. And with no wall and only a railing this time, they attempted to cling on to avoid falling – but then a large barrel fell down at them, and while it missed hitting them it caused them to slip. They were dangling.

“Jane!”

“Hold on!”

“I can't…” Scotty lost his grip, and Jane grabbed his hand before he fell. But her grip was slipping as well, and she strained to keep a hold of her friend while holding onto the rails… _Save the ship…save the crew…keep a hold of Scotty…Spock..._

Her hand slipped, but suddenly two sets of hands reached out and grabbed her just in time. Both she and Scotty smiled with the joy at being alive when they saw Charlene and Kyle standing above them. “We've got you, Captain!” said the former.

“Oh lass, you’re a sight for sore eyes!” Scotty called up.

The ship drifted back upright, allowing Charlene and Kyle to pull them to safety. The four of them then proceeded to the warp-core.

“Even if we get the warp-core online, we’ve still got to redirect the power!” said Scotty. “Someone has to hit the manual override!”

Kyle’s eyes widened with realization. “It’s behind the reflector dish! I’ll flip the switch!” He hurried away.

Jane, Scotty and Charlene continued on towards the core, passing by the shuttle bay which was in chaos; crew were trying to follow the evacuation order, but the shuttles were falling everywhere.

All eyes looked towards her when she arrived, and at first Jane paused. _They’re counting on me…they believe in my…Spock believes in me…_ “Everyone just remain calm and hold onto something!” Jane ordered, before following Scotty to the core.

But upon arrival, the computer stated, “ _Core misaligned._ ”

“No, no, no, no, no!” Scotty hit the panel.

“What is it?” asked Jane.

“The core is misaligned! There’s no way we can redirect the power!” He turned to her despair in his eyes. “The ship’s dead, Cap’n! She’s gone…”

Jane panted. _No… This can’t be it…Spock, no…_

_Jane, there’s nothing you can do_.

She turned towards the warp-core. She thought of the panicking crew…the fear in their eyes as the ship broke around them…then replaced by hope when they saw here… _Actually, there is_. “No she’s not.” She hurried over to the door.

_Jane… Oh God, Jane, no. Don’t_.

Scotty realized what she was doing, too. “Wait, Jane! If we go in there, we’ll die! The radiation will kill us! What the hell are you doing?!”

Jane began to press the buttons by the door, unlocking it. “I’m opening the door; I’m going in.”

“But we’d be dead before we could make the climb.”

Jane paused. “But you’re not making the climb.”

“What?”

She punched him, knocking him out. Charlene yelped as she did, and Jane locked eyes with her friend. “Secure him. Wait for my mark.” The woman wordlessly nodded before she began to drag Scotty back to the panel. There was a seat where he could be secured.

Taking a deep breath, Jane opened the door that led to the core and hurried inside.

_Jane, please, listen to me-_

_This is the only way to save the crew! Save Spock! You would do the same!_

_That’s just it, Jane! When Khan attacked us last time, this is how Spock died! And dammit, I’m not gonna watch you die, too!_

_Then don’t_. Jane blocked her out completely before crawling into the main reactor room. She saw the misaligned core above her, and with the radiation already burning, she knew she would die doing this.

“Forgive me, Spock.” And so she climbed.

The radiation burned. The pain was biting at her skin, working its way under, but Jane kept going. The thought of her crew – the thought of Spock – kept her going. She needed them to live…they were everything to her…Spock was everything to her…

Memories flashed before her eyes. At first there were the memories her counterpart showed her – of her driving out Spock’s insanity after seeing the Medusan, of him giving her a rose on that paradise planet, of him coming to her rescue when she was trapped on Gideon, of their child…the child she realized they would probably never have now. She recalled the Spock and the Jane of the mirror universe, and then of the alternate version of that universe.

And then she saw her own memories; finding the chess piece Spock had left for her, seeing him safe and sound after the _Galileo_ incident, him saving her life on Tarsus IV, her saving _his_ life on Gamma Trianguli VI, him showing her how to contact her counterpart, the apology on Qo’Nos, their talk afterwards… She tried to blink back her tears; she knew now she may never get to live a life with him. _Why had I been so stubborn before?_

She reached the core, and with the strength she had left, she began to kick it into place. When it refused to budge she began to scream, both from frustration and the pain. _Move! Dammit, move! Just…move!_

And then it realigned, throwing Jane backwards and knocking her out. 


	23. Yesterday Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane dies...or does she?

Everything was blurry when Jane awoke.

She didn’t know how she was able to crawl back to the door. But there was strength still left in her, and while she knew there was no point – Scotty wouldn’t be able to let her out, else he’d kill everyone in engineering – she couldn’t think of what else to do.

Scotty and Charlene were there when she arrived; Jane reached up to close the other door behind her, in order to speed up the decontamination process.

And then Spock was there. He stared down at her, his eyes wide, before he turned to Scotty and ordered him to open the door. Scotty refused; Jane could see that he wanted to open it just as much as Spock, but he couldn’t. Already Charlene was in his arms, crying into his chest.

Spock crouched down beside her, hands on the glass, and all the stoic vanished from his face. The emotion was there, and it was raw.

Anger was the first emotion she saw, and she half expected him to start yelling at her like she had done to him many times over the past year. He almost appeared to consider it before realizing there was no point, and the anger faded.

“How…” Jane coughed from the radiation burning her throat. “How’s our ship?”

“Out of danger,” he replied. “You saved the crew.”

She smiled. “You used what he wanted against him. That’s a nice move.”

“It is what you would have done.”

He was right, and she wondered why she hadn’t thought of it before. “And this…this is what you would have done. I know…because she told me.”

He looked down, and Jane realized that he already knew. “I know.”

Jane coughed again. The pain was burning greater than before, but she tried to hold on… She tried to hold on for him… “Spock…I’m scared. Help me not be. How…how do you choose not to feel?” This fear…the fact that he’d been able to conceal his own for so long…

But he shook his head, and Jane could see he was on the verge of tears. “I do not know. Right now I am failing.” A single tear fell from his eye, as if she didn’t need proof enough.

Darkness was beginning to enter her vision; she didn’t have long. _I have to tell him…_ “I want you to know why I couldn’t let you die; why I went back for you.”

“Because you are my friend.”

Jane knew that if not for the radiation poisoning, she would be crying as much as he was. “Much…more, Spock. So much…more.”

And then her voice failed.

_No…no… I have to tell him…!_ She made several grunts, attempting to speak, but no words came out. _Please… I have to tell him… I know I blew my chance, but please…_

_Jane…_ Her counterpart’s voice was welcoming. _Hand on the glass. Send your emotions to him._

_But it doesn’t work through…_

_Your emotions are so powerful right now… It will work_.

So Jane, with the last ounce of strength she had left, placed her hand upon the glass. Spock placed his hand over hers in the form of the Vulcan salute, and Jane formed the same with her fingers. She sent her emotions through, but with it, she sent the memories her elder counterpart had shown her; curing his insanity, the rose, the Gideon rescue…and their child. The little girl they could have had…

Spock looked at their hands joined together, before turning back with his eyes wide. He had received the emotions…the memories…

And he sent back what she had felt before, when they thought Marcus had been about to kill them. Love. Her feelings for him were very much mutual.

But now…they would never experience what they could have had. What their counterparts had…and Jane felt no one else was responsible for this but her. _Spock…I’m sorry…I was stubborn…I’m so sorry…_

The darkness crept in, blackening her vision, but Jane kept her eyes on Spock – the man she now knew she loved. He was the last thing she saw as the pain finally faded and she fell into darkness.

\---

_“It’s a girl! Tell me about her!”_

_“She’s beautiful.”_

_“Let’s name her after your mom; let’s call her Jane.”_

_“OK, Jane it is.”_

_“I love you both so much! I love you-”_

_“Your father was Captain of a starship for twelve minutes…he saved eight hundred lives… I dare you to do better.”_

\---

The voices faded, and when the darkness lifted Jane found herself standing on the _Enterprise_ – a version which looked older. She was close to the warp core, and she saw her counterpart – in memory – stood in front of the glass while her friends were stood around her.

But on the other side of the glass was Spock, and Jane felt a wave of emotions hit her like they must have hit her counterpart all that time ago. And she suddenly realized how Spock must have felt watching her die…

“The needs of the many…” Spock was trying to speak, but his voice was hoarse from the radiation poisoning.

The memory-Jane helped. “…outweigh the needs of the few.” She was fighting back tears, and as Jane watched she fought back the tears too. She knew herself; she knew her body language. And she could tell that her other self was _desperate_ to break the glass separating her from the man she loved just so she could touch him one last time…

“Or the one…” Spock nodded. He lost strength and fell to his knees, the memory-Jane following – whether to keep eye contact with him or because her legs gave too, the watching Jane didn’t know. A bit of both, she supposed. “Jane…I have been…and always shall be…yours.” He slowly raised his hand to the glass, forming the Vulcan salute. “Live long…and prosper.”

The memory-Jane pressed her hand to the glass over his, forming the salute as well. Jane walked closer and saw that her counterpart was in tears, and without realizing what she was really doing, she placed her hand upon the glass above them, forming the salute as well. _As respect for what you were…for what you had…for what I will never have…_

“Papa?” Jane turned and saw Amanda Georgiana approaching; she looked no older than ten, her eyes wide at the sight of her father in such a state. She knelt down next to her mother, and after hesitating, she placed her small hand over hers, forming her father’s salute.

And then, slowly but surely, Spock collapsed against the glass, eyes still on the memory-Jane the entire time as he passed on. All was silent and still for minutes…before Amanda began to sob. The memory-Jane sobbed with her, pulling her daughter close and burying their faces into each other.

Jane watched, the tears falling from her eyes as well, and she felt like reaching out to touch her counterpart despite knowing nothing would happen. But just when her hand was inches away, the memory faded.

She was on the _Enterprise_ again – but not the same one. This ship looked updated, and the crew were different…sort of.

Jane recalled the elder Spock telling her that their daughter had become the Captain of the _Enterprise-B_ – and her counterpart had later told her that alongside Amanda, the children of other crew members served as well. At the helm was Sulu’s daughter, Demora, a girl he’d raised with his husband, Ben. Alongside her was Chekov and Landon’s son, Anton. At the engineering station was Chief Engineer and First Officer Hamish, Scotty and Charlene’s, while at the Communications post was T’Challa, Uhura and Kevin’s son. McCoy’s daughter, Joanna – the Chief Medical Officer – was also present on the bridge, alongside Science Officer Saavik, Spock’s half-Vulcan, half-Romulan adoptive younger sister.

And in the Captain’s chair sat Amanda herself, with her parents stood either side of her. It was the maiden voyage, Jane realized.

Then the memory shifted; the entire ship was shaking, and on the screen was a large cloud of orange gas. This made Jane frown, for her counterpart had not informed her of this incident. Bolts of lightning were being thrown from it, hitting the ship over and over.

“Sulu, full reverse!” Amanda commanded.

“I can’t, Captain!” Demora informed her. “We’re trapped!”

“She’s right, Captain!” said Hamish. “Someone has to modify the ship’s main deflector to fire a burst of energy. Then we should be able to pull free!”

The memory-Jane stepped forwards. “I’ll go. I know how to do that.”

“Jane-” Spock tried to stop her, stepping forwards.

But the memory-Jane shook her head. “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Stay here with Amanda; she may need your advice. And you were always so talented at providing it.” She stepped into the turbo-lift. “Keep things together until I get back.”

“I always do, Jane,” said Spock. She sent him a smile before the lift doors closed.

Her voice was heard over the comms minutes later. “ _I’m working as fast as I can!_ ”

“I don’t know how much longer I can hold her together!” said Hamish.

Suddenly bolts of lightning began to hit the ship again – especially around the area where the memory-Jane was. “Mom, get out of there!” yelled Amanda. “You’ll be blown to bits!”

“ _The deflector’s been damaged; it won’t hold unless I hold it in place!_ ”

“But you’ll die!” There were tears in Amanda’s eyes.

“ _We’ll all die unless I do this!_ ”

“I will assist you, Jane-” Spock went to move towards the turbo-lift.

“ _No, Spock! Amanda still needs one parent. I won’t let her go through the pain of losing both, as I did. She already lost you once; stay there._ ” Jane could hear the heartbreak in her counterpart’s voice.

“We’re breaking free, Captain!” Hamish reported.

“All thrusters, Sulu!” Amanda commanded. “Maximum warp! Get us outta here!”

“ _Spock…_ ” It was the memory-Jane again, her voice softer. “ _I love you…_ ”

Spock’s stoic expression dropped for a moment – but it was enough for Jane to see. “I know.”

The ship was hit greater than before, but it was able to break free. Joanna hurried back to sickbay in order to tend to the wounded, and the crew on the bridge began to list the damage – but Amanda ignored all this, for at that moment, only one thing mattered. “Mom, can you hear me? Are you there?”

But there was no response.

“So that’s how I died.” Jane turned to find her counterpart stood next to her, just as the memory began to fade out. “I suppose you forget when you…” She trailed off and turned to Jane. “Do you still remember how you…?”

Jane nodded. “Yes. Does that mean I might not be…?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” she said. “What I _do_ know is that our crew would do everything in their power to save us – if there was a way.”

They were once again on the bridge of the _Enterprise_ , as they always were. But that didn't matter. “I could have been with Spock before I died, but I was too stubborn to see what was right in front of me the whole time.” She allowed a tear to escape her eye. “I didn't listen to you…and now he has to live alone.”

“Jane…” The elder Jane laid a hand upon her shoulder, and the younger counterpart looked up. “You can’t have that regret. It’s better to have loved, and lost that love, instead of not loving at all.”

Jane went to respond, but suddenly there was a flash of light, and her eyes snapped open. She took in several deep breaths…before realizing that she was lying in a hospital bed, very much alive.

She felt a wave of relief hit her like a tidal wave. _I’m not dead…I’m alive…I still have a chance…Spock…_ She tried to sit up, but felt a hand on her shoulder gently push her down again.

“Don’t be so melodramatic. You were _barely_ dead.” Jane smiled at the familiar voice, looking to her right to see McCoy smiling at her. “You clung on a lot longer than we thought you would; you have that Vulcan blood still in you to thank for that. You’ve been out cold for two weeks; the transfusion really took its toll.”

“Transfusion?” Jane sent him a confused look.

“Your cells were heavily radiated,” McCoy explained. “We had little choice.”

She then remembered the experiment McCoy had been doing on the Tribble. Which meant… “Khan?”

“Once we caught him, I synthesized a serum from his “super blood”. Tell me, are you feeling homicidal, power-mad or despotic?”

She shrugged. “No more than usual. How’d you catch him?”

“I didn’t.” He stepped aside…and there was Spock, dressed in uniform, standing in the corner of the room.

Jane almost leapt out of the bed. After thinking she was never going to see him again… “Spock…” She certainly tried to get to him, but McCoy once again prevented her from moving by laying a firm hand on her shoulder.

“See? This is why I didn’t want him visiting.” He rolled his eyes.

Spock instead approached the bed, and while his expression was stoic and hidden, Jane could see right through him. He was relieved to see her awake, to see her alive…

“You saved my life…”

“Uhura and I had something to do with it too, you know,” McCoy added.

Jane briefly raised an eyebrow at him before her attention immediately returned to Spock.

“It is as I said before, Captain,” said Spock. “I will be happy to save your life-”

“Spock,” Jane interrupted him. “Just… Thank you.”

He smiled. It was slight, but it was there. “You are welcome, Jane.”

McCoy left, muttering something about fetching Jane’s mother, and once the door was shut Spock sat gently down upon the bed. His eyes never left Jane.

He was expecting her to say something – and she knew what. “So you saw the memories?”

“I did,” he replied. “Your counterpart showed them to you?”

Jane nodded, and then sighed. She had apologized before, but she felt the need to do so again, despite being alive and near enough well. “Spock, I am so sorry…”

“May I ask for what?”

“I knew,” she said. “I knew what we could have; my counterpart told me all about what we did, and she encouraged me to try… But I was stubborn about it. I wanted to make my own choices and not follow some path the universe had laid out for me. And at first – no offence meant, by the way – I felt you weren't exactly…boyfriend material…if you get my meaning…”

“No offence is taken, Jane. Your concern was logical.”

She smiled. Same old Spock. “And because I was so stubborn before, we almost lost that chance; you almost had to live alone. And I’m sorry.”

“It is illogical for you to keep apologizing for circumstances which are not your fault,” said Spock. Jane went to protest, but he placed a finger upon her mouth to prevent her, and even through that small touch Jane could feel how sure he was of his statement. “What could have been does not matter. You are here, and you are alive; in other words, you have been granted a second chance.”

He removed his finger, although part of Jane wanted him to keep it there. She smiled. “I suppose I have.” _Thank you, universe. I no longer hate you_. She found herself reaching up with her hand and moving aside a stray hair on his forehead, like she had done all that time ago after he had returned safely from Taurus II. But this time, she didn’t pull away. “Are you sure you really wanna try this? To boldly go where you’ve never gone before?”

He didn’t even need to think about it. “Yes.”

His answer was simple and to the point – but Jane supposed he’d always been like that. She pulled her hand away. “So…is there anything Vulcan couples do? Specifically?”

He thought, before he held up two fingers towards her and waited. It took a few moments for Jane to understand; she had seen his parents do this, after Vulcan had been destroyed, and she had also seen their counterparts do it briefly in a memory. So Jane brought up two fingers of her own and gently touched his, creating a connection between them. And then Spock began to lean in, which Jane understood also; it was not to kiss her, but to press his forehead against hers, in order to intensify the connection established by their fingers – at least, that was what she theorized.

Their foreheads touched, and Jane was suddenly overwhelmed by the emotions which hit her. Spock was able to rein most of them back in, leaving behind an amount which Jane could take; they were ones of happiness, hope, love, _passion…_

_It’s no wonder my counterpart described this as beautiful_ , Jane thought. She felt Spock’s approval at her comment.

While in her mind it felt longer, the connection lasted only a moment and Jane felt him pull away. She wanted to pull him back, to make it last longer…

_It is not good for your mind_ , she heard him say, so allowed him to disconnect. She opened the eyes she hadn’t realized she’d closed and looked up at him. He asked, “You are satisfied?”

“Way more than that; more like amazed,” said Jane. “Just…wow.” She couldn’t help but wonder what sleeping with him would be like, since connection joined emotions and their hands would be all over each other…

_Maybe that’s a little fast_ , Jane told herself. _Just take it slowly_. “Do you want to try the human version? It’s not as amazing as that, but it’s nice in its own way.”

“I think I may have already over-exerted you far more than I should have-”

“Spock, I’m fine, and this is only a little thing,” she told him. “Come on. Lean back down.”

At first he was hesitant, but after she gave him an expectant look, he did as she asked. When his face was right in front of hers, Jane placed a hand under his chin and brought him closer still, before she pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. He hesitated once again, but with encouragement he kissed back.

“Dammit! This is a hospital room, not a honeymoon suite!”

The couple stopped kissing and looked towards the door to find an annoyed McCoy glaring at them. “Bones, it was just a little kiss. No harm done,” said Jane.

“ _No harm done_.” McCoy mocked her words as he walked around to the other side of the bed. “You’re still in a condition, Jane. And sure, first It’s a little kiss, but then a little kiss becomes a little make-out session, and then that becomes a little casual s-”

He cut himself off when three others entered the room, the first hurrying over to Jane’s side. “Jane!”

“Mom?” Jane welcomed the hug from her mother, and over the woman’s shoulder she saw that the other two new occupants were Spock’s parents. Spock had risen to stand by them, and Jane turned back to her mother; she could see the dark lines under her eyes, and wondered if she’d slept at all over the past two weeks. “When did you get here?”

“I was here visiting Amanda when the attack came,” Winona explained. Jane nodded; she knew her mother and Spock’s had become good friends after the destruction of Vulcan over a year ago.

McCoy chuckled. “You should have seen her, Jane. The only reason I got the serum out of Khan was because she turned into a Mama Bear and scared the crap outta him.”

Jane almost laughed at the thought. _It runs in the family_ , she heard her counterpart say.

_I’m guessing someone threatened Ama?_

_A group of Orion pirates when she was five. Their life expectancies were shortened to ten seconds_.

This time Jane _did_ laugh…but then she coughed from the sudden pain.

“Are you sure you’re all right, honey?” asked her mother.

“Yeah. It’ll probably take time, but- Bones, get that thing off my face.”

McCoy did as she said, rolling his eyes. “See that? She’s fine.”

Jane laughed again while in the background, she saw Spock raise his usual eyebrow. Life was good. 


	24. Taking Shore Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone takes a breather.

Jane spent the next two weeks recovering in hospital and avoiding the press, and thanks to the regenerative properties of Khan’s blood, she was out by the end of the month.

McCoy still wanted her to rest for another month, though, before she started working again. And Jane was OK with this, for it gave her time for various visits from friends and family.

Her brother, Sam, was first, with his wife and son, and along with Winona they stayed for a few nights. Sam told her the story of his reunion with their mother – there had been a lot of shouting in colourful language, followed by tears and hugs – along with the plans for Winona to move to Deneva. Then it was announced that Aurelan was pregnant with twins.

“Julius George and Winona Jane are their names,” Sam had said with a proud smile. They had also offered their congratulations on Jane’s new relationship, complete with ‘I told you so’ brotherly teasing. Spock had even visited.

After the family had left, Jane had then been visited by her childhood friends from Tarsus IV – which had led to more ‘I told you so’ teasing from Katie.

“We’re all happy that you found someone,” she’d said. “All we need to do now is get Kevin hooked up.”

“He’s already found someone,” said Jane, and told her friends about Uhura.

A lot of Jane’s time had been spent contacting Scotty, who was overseeing repairs on the _Enterprise_ alongside Charlene. “It’ll take a long time to fix her, Cap’n,” he’d reported early on. “They said a year at most. She really took a beating.”

Jane planned on travelling up to Space Dock on occasion, once she was fully cleared by McCoy, in order to help Scotty, Charlene, Kyle, Chekov and all of the other crewmen who were assisting in the rebuilding and reprogramming.

Other members of the crew had found temporary posts elsewhere; Uhura had taken a post in the Starfleet HQ Communication Offices and Sulu had become a shuttle pilot to ferry officers between other Starfleet posts across the Earth. McCoy, M’Benga and Chapel had found temporary work in the hospital, which allowed McCoy more time to visit his daughter.

Riley and Landon had taken the burden of handling the press, correcting rumours which spread and making sure the right information was given out. One of the most important was making sure people understood the truth about Khan’s blood.

“It’s not a secret to immortality,” Riley had told one particularly hot-headed reporter. “And it doesn’t grant super powers. It’s highly unstable; our Captain was just lucky.”

Part of Jane was glad that Khan and his crew were locked away in their cryo-tubes before she’d woken up. Another part of her regretted not having marched up to him to laugh in his face at being alive.

Carol stayed far away from the press, for obvious reasons. Once her leg had fully healed, she’d taken the job of clearing up the mess her father had made. Mostly sorting out the various programs in Section 31; getting rid of the ones which were clearly illegal while shelving the ones which could prove beneficial.

She had been the one to make the call on what happened to Khan and his crew. Despite the nature of her father’s death, she had decided to have Khan put back to sleep and then have all of them locked in a secure hanger, with its location secret.

“Once things have cleared up,” she had told Jane, “I’ll be assisting in the plans for rebuilding the Archive in London, and all the buildings in San Francisco. It feels right for me to do so after what happened.”

Lemli and Leslie had taken teaching assistant jobs at the Academy, helping their old instructor in Advanced Self-Defence. Spock, when not on the _Enterprise_ overseeing the repairs, had also taken a temporary position at the Academy. One of their Advanced Command teachers had been killed in the chaos, and Spock had offered to fill in until a permanent replacement was found.

It was him who approached her about a job. “The Academy has asked whether you would be interested in appearing in some of my lectures. You have become very well known, and I am sure some of the students will have many questions for you.”

Jane had accepted, if anything because she needed something to do, in order to help take her mind off what had happened. Almost dying had left quite a mark on her. Family and friends were helping, but she needed more. She predicted that getting back into the Captain’s chair would help a lot.

As for the classes themselves, she was stumped. _I can’t just tell them to wing it, or go on gut instincts, or to listen to the small voice of their counterparts_ , Jane had confided in the elder Jane one evening, after McCoy had fully cleared her of leave _. Because when it comes to being Captain, that’s all I know._

_You can tell them not to break the Prime Directive._

_Very funny_.

The elder Jane laughed. _You can’t tell them that sometimes you have to break the rules, because I doubt the other teachers would be happy with you. I think you can warn them about higher ups, though._

_That some of them may be warmongering maniacs who might try and trick you into starting a war with the Klingons?_ She shrugged. _Maybe not that specifically, but I can warn them that if they think something’s wrong, don't hesitate to make your own call. Now I just need to think of the questions they may ask._

_Someone’s bound to ask about your relationship with Spock._

_If I answered that, they’ll fail their Interspecies Protocol exams – even though the two of us haven’t done anything yet_.

The door of her apartment chimed, which made Jane look up from her desk curiously. _Am I expecting anyone?_ She got up and walked over to the door, and after looking at who it was on the screen, she smiled. _Unusual for him to surprise me, but not unwelcome_. She opened the door and smiled wider at Spock stood there in his casual clothes; a sweater and a pair of jeans. “Spock, I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

“Dr. McCoy has been giving me advice on Human relationships,” he replied, as Jane stepped aside and let him in. “He said that sometimes the female party finds delight in being surprised by the presence of the male.”

“It certainly worked.” She smiled again, closing the door, before noticing that he held something – _two_ somethings, she corrected herself – under his arm. “What do you have there?”

“The Doctor also informed me that I must offer gifts as per an occasion.” He brought out the first item, which turned out to be a box of Jane's favourite brand of chocolates, shipped over from a company in England. “I heard that he has finally cleared you of medical leave, and I was told by Lt. Uhura these were your favourites. Although I will unfortunately be unable to share them with you, as chocolate has unusual effects on Vulcans.”

Jane took the box happily, lifting the lid up in order to take a long whiff. “I love you so much right now.” She then raised a curious eyebrow. “And what do you mean by ‘unusual effects’?”

“I would rather not say.”

_Chocolate is basically their alcohol. It makes them drunk_.

Jane burst out laughing at the thought of the usually stoic Spock stumbling around in a drunken manner, to which said Vulcan only raised an eyebrow. “Judging by your sudden outburst, I conclude that your counterpart knew of the effects and informed you.”

“Oh, I’m so gonna get you to eat this stuff later.” She closed the box again before placing it in the fridge to keep cool. She then cranked up the heating, knowing that Spock preferred warmer temperatures; having grown up in Iowa, she didn’t mind the heat. “And then I’m gonna take pictures and put a collection in each of the crew’s ‘welcome back’ gift bags.”

His eyebrow rose even higher. “I am assuming that you are only teasing me.”

“Yeah, I am. Maybe.” She laughed again when his face showed a brief flash of horror, which then disappeared when he realized that she was still teasing him. Jane then noticed that she hadn’t washed and cleared away all the dishes from her dinner. Recalling that Spock liked it when things were organized and tidy, she blushed before hurriedly putting the stuff – still dirty – away. “I’m sorry, if I knew you were coming round, I would have cleaned up…”

“Do not worry. The fault is entirely my own for not informing you of my visit.”

“No, it’s OK; I liked that you surprised me. I’ve been meaning to organize my place anyway.” Jane turned back to him after she’d finished clearing. But then she realized… “I just put an entire plate of leftovers in with the dishes, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

Jane cursed under her breath as she moved the leftovers into the fridge.

_He makes you feel like a schoolgirl again, doesn’t he?_

_You have no idea_. “So what else did you bring over?”

“Unfortunate news,” he replied, holding out the second item, which turned out to be a PADD. “We have lost a crew member through transfer.”

Jane took the PADD, and when she saw the person’s name, she sighed. She had seen that transfer coming. “Christine. The outer frontier?”

“There are in need of medical staff out there,” Spock explained. “It is a shame; she was a very capable nurse.”

Jane ‘mmd’ in agreement, choosing not to inform Spock that she had noticed Christine’s change in behaviour during the past month. Ever since Jane had informed the crew of her new relationship with Spock, the nurse had been avoiding the both of them, gradually growing more distant. It probably didn’t help that at the same time as the announcement, it was discovered that most of the crew had been holding a damn _betting pool_ over when she and Spock would get together – Uhura won, much to always-gambling-McCoy’s annoyance.

“She’s upset,” McCoy had told Jane one day. “She ranted about it to me and M’Benga; you encouraged her to keep trying with Spock…and then _you_ end up dating him yourself. It’s not good.”

Jane felt regret; before this had happened, she had been getting on well with Christine.

_Hey, at least your Christine left by choice_ , said her counterpart. _Remember I had to dismiss mine from duty_.

That still didn’t take away the guilt. “Do we have a replacement yet?”

“Not yet; Dr. McCoy and Dr. M’Benga said they will be on the look-out for one in the hospital.” Jane handed the PADD back to him. “I however did not come here to discuss potential candidates.”

“Then why did you?” Jane asked.

“As I mentioned, I heard that the Doctor has cleared you of medical leave. Meaning that you are free to participate in…certain activities.”

Jane stared at him in surprise, and was able to stop her eyes from growing wide. When McCoy had specifically told her not to engage in any such activities with Spock, the First Officer had agreed – much to Jane’s frustration, although she quickly got over it when she understood they were both right. Her desire to feel his emotions again – to do _anything_ with him – had kept her looking forwards to the end of the month, and when McCoy had finally cleared her…

She’d expected to go round to Spock’s apartment and make the first move. But this – him coming to her almost _immediately_ – was unexpected. “Wow. I thought I would have to make the first move; I never thought you would.”

“Is that a bad thing?” He raised his eyebrow again.

_…He really is clueless, isn’t he?_

_As clueless as a thirteen-year-old boy_.

Jane shook her head. “No. It’s good. It’s _so_ good.” She crossed the space between them, reaching out a hand to his and smiling all the while. “And you’re not alone in being inexperienced, so don’t worry; I haven’t had many relationships, either.”

He raised a curious eyebrow. “How many?”

“Remember I showed interest in Mitchell and Latimer back on the _Enterprise_ , but I never even got to the first date with them,” she replied. “I also had two flings. Both in high school, and neither lasted for very long. The first lasted a week; all we did was kiss on occasion, go out for lunch a few times…and then he cheated on me with another girl, and I hit him for it. The second was shorter; a few hours at most. A guy asked me out, kissed me…and then I saw him kissing another girl. I hit him, too.”

“There is an apparent pattern in which you lashed out in anger at your ‘flings’, as you call them, by using physical force. Should I suspect that the same fate will be bestowed upon me?”

She laughed. “No, Spock. I doubt you’d cheat on me, and it’s like I said; they were just flings, nothing important. This…this is serious.” Then out of curiosity, she asked, “What about you? Have you had…anything?”

He nodded, to her surprise. “Most Vulcans are betrothed from age seven, and I was no exception. Her name was T’Pring.”

“Betrothed?” Jane was even more surprised by this. “I’m guessing something happened to her since you’re, you know, with me. Did she die when…?”

“She did not,” he replied. “She is very much alive on New Vulcan. I broke off the betrothal when I joined Starfleet, for at the time I wanted to cut all my ties to Vulcan after the Council insulted my mother. It was barely a year later when I heard T’Pring had bonded with another Vulcan named Stonn. Whether he survived the destruction of my home, I do not know.”

“But you knew about _her_ survival?”

“My father mentioned her when listing family and acquaintances who had survived.” He saw through the question instantly. “Jane, if you are suggesting that I still hold a connection with her, I can assure you that she has never interested me. We had nothing in common with one another, and I have not even seen her since the initial bonding.”

“Sorry,” she apologized. When Spock went to open his mouth, she said, “I know, I need to stop apologizing. It’s just… Finally, something feels right in my life, and I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose _you_.”

He smiled slightly in understanding. “The feeling is very much mutual. And since neither of us knows what we should be doing, I am open to suggestions from your counterpart.”

“We don’t have to ask her,” said Jane. “Let’s do things on our own.”

_I support that._

_Can you give us some privacy, please?_

_Happy to oblige_. Jane felt her counterpart fade away, leaving the two of them very much alone.

“So?” Jane shrugged as she watched Spock, waiting to see what he would do.

There was a subtle change in expression upon his face, but Jane saw; it had changed to one of worry. Before she could ask if anything was wrong, he turned away and sat down on the couch. “Jane, before we continue there is something I must show you.”

Jane was uncertain how to respond to this, but took the unspoken cue and sat down next to him. “You mean like a mind-meld?” she asked.

He nodded. “I wish to show you what I did after you…died.”

Silence followed his words as Jane processed what he’d just said. From what she had been told, Spock had gone after Khan in order for McCoy to use his blood to save her. But Jane remembered that when she had asked for specifics, the crew had been unusually silent. McCoy had informed her that he didn’t know, since he’d been busy getting her into a cryo-tube, and had said to ask Uhura. But when Jane had asked her friend, she hadn’t wanted to reply.

“Only Spock can tell you what happened down there,” was all she’d said. “But don’t force him to talk about it. He’ll tell you in his own time.”

Now here he was, about to tell her, and looking almost afraid. “What are you worried about?” Jane asked.

“You will see.” Spock reached out a hand, and Jane allowed him to touch her face as their minds joined.

The first thing she heard was Spock screaming Khan’s name in a rage she never thought him capable of. The images were blurry; Spock strode past both Charlene and Scotty, and met with Uhura on the bridge. Only then – feeling the blinding rage and heartbreak in Spock’s memory – did Jane realize that the images were blurry because Spock’s eyes were filled with tears.

The report came through that the _Vengeance_ had crashed into San Francisco. Spock ordered for the ship to be scanned for life-signs, knowing that Khan could survive such a crash. Once Khan was located, Chekov reported that they couldn’t beam him up – but it was possible to beam someone down.

Spock instantly left for the transporter room. He snatched the phaser from Lemli as he passed the security officer, and standing ready on the pad, he allowed Kyle to beam him down.

Jane watched the memory in silence, even when Spock arrived in the city and spotted Khan. He instantly took off after the man.

_No… You will not run from me, you murderer… You killed her…_ Jane was surprised when she heard Spock’s thoughts. He was showing her what he was thinking during the memory, as well. And as those thoughts continued down practically murderous paths, Jane realized why Spock had been afraid to show her.

The chase continued. The two men ran across streets and through buildings before Khan leapt upon a garbage shuttle that was just taking off. Spock leapt after him and was able to grab onto the bottom, but as he began to climb up Khan kicked the phaser from his hand.

Despite knowing the outcome, Jane watched in fear as Spock attempted to get the upper hand; he even nerve-pinched the augment, which didn’t work. Khan tried to crush his head, but Spock touched the man’s head and sent him an image, and words.

The image: Jane’s counterpart with baby Amanda. The words: _You took that from me. Khan, you are a dead man_.

After stumbling away, a look crossed Khan’s face – as if he was finally realizing just who he was up against. Then he jumped off and landed on another garbage shuttle.

_No!_ Spock leapt after him.

_You took her from me… You took what we could have had from me. You will pay_. Jane almost shuddered at Spock’s words, and then she almost cried out when Khan held Spock’s head again.

But then Uhura appeared behind the man and fired several stun shots at him. Khan rose and tried to fight his way over, but it was enough of a distraction for Spock; he tore a piece of metal off the shuttle before using it to whack Khan’s head.

He then snapped Khan's arm over his shoulder.

“Spock!” Jane heard Uhura’s voice, begging for him to stop, but Spock wasn’t listening. His mind was racing, his anger and grief were getting the better of him, and with every punch he gave Khan, an image of the lives of their counterparts appeared in his vision. “He’s our only chance to save Jane!”

And that’s when Spock stopped. The memory vanished as Spock ended the mind-meld, and Jane gasped as she pulled away. The strong emotions she’d felt through him had been overwhelming. “Spock…” she began, “you…you don’t have to feel ashamed of losing emotional control.”

“I am not ashamed. I am afraid for you,” he explained. “Jane, you saw what I can do. Not just there, but also on the bridge over a year ago. I could harm you. And if I did that I would never be able to-”

Jane cut him off by placing a finger over his mouth. “Spock, I would usually try and convince you otherwise with a logical debate. But right now, I think kissing you would be a better alternative.” So she did.

What followed that night was an experience Jane would never be able to describe, because any words she could find simply didn’t do the evening justice.

\---

_1 year later…_

It felt good walking onto the bridge again in her new dress, ready to start their five-year mission. She smirked when she saw someone else sat in the Captain’s chair. “It’s hard to get out of it once you’ve had a taste, right Sulu?”

Sulu smiled in response. “‘Captain’ does have a nice ring to it. The chair’s all yours.” He walked back to the helm and sat down.

Jane opened up a comm to engineering. “Mr. Scott, how’s our core?”

“ _Purring like the kitten, Cap’n. She's ready for a long journey._ ”

“Excellent!” She closed the channel before noticing McCoy standing off to the side, looking annoyed as he always did. She skipped over to him, knowing it was annoying him more, before giving him a friendly slap on the bag. “C’mon, Bones! Smile! It’s gonna be fun!”

“Five years in Space; God help me…”

Knowing what would cheer him up, Jane dragged him over to where Carol was setting up her station. “Dr. Marcus, I’m glad you can be a part of the family.”

“It’s nice to have a family,” she said with a smile.

“Rub your good mood onto him, will you?” She left McCoy with the blonde before walking over to her chair and to where Spock was waiting. “Spock?”

“Captain?” There was a small smile on his face.

“Where should we go?” she asked.

“As a mission of this duration has never been attempted,” He turned to her, the smile widening slightly, “I defer to your good judgement, Captain.”

Jane smiled in response and nodded, and he nodded back before turning to settle down at his science station. Jane herself sat down in the Captain’s chair, crossing her legs as per habit. “Mr. Sulu, take us out.”

“Aye, Captain.”

They were away, and Jane couldn’t wait to start on the adventures her counterpart had told her so much about…not even knowing that their problems were far from over. 


	25. Hollow World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's wrong with Spock...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This next arc revolves around the 'After Darkness' comics, which in turn were based on the Original Series episode 'Amok Time'.

“Jane, did you honestly write that?”

Jane looked up to find McCoy stood in the doorway of her office, and she sighed. “Computer, pause Captain’s log.”

“ _Captain’s log paused._ ”

“Alright, how did you get in here, Bones?” she asked. “I locked the door. Did Chekov hack into the systems again?”

“The ship’s doctor can go wherever he damn well pleases,” McCoy replied. “I don’t think you wrote that log yourself. Uhura, maybe. Or did Spock help you out?”

Jane rose from her chair. “Have a little faith in your Captain, Bones. Every once in a while, I like to reflect on why we’re out here and what we’re doing. It’s good for the soul.”

“I knew it. Being in love has turned you into a damn poet.” McCoy rolled his eyes.

Jane ignored the comment. “Something you wanna tell me, Bones? You can’t have gone through the trouble of breaking in here simply to annoy me.”

“I came to tell you that sickbay’s empty.”

Jane signalled for him to follow as they walked out into the hallway. “But isn’t that a good thing?”

“Right. It means the entire crew is completely healthy and ready for the… Are we really gonna be out here for _five damn years_?”

“Don’t tell me you're bored already.”

_He’s hiding something_.

“And my counterpart says you’re hiding something, Bones,” said Jane. “So what did you _really_ wanna tell me?”

“Fine.” He sighed. “I want you to keep me informed, Jane. A year and a half ago, you got injected with Vulcan blood. And then a year ago you got injected with _Khan’s_ blood. Your heart’s pumping _God knows what_ through your arteries right now! I need you to tell me the second that you start feeling… _different_.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “I thought we settled this back on Earth, during the _year-long period_ between what happened then and now. I’m _fine_.”

“But that’s what scares me,” said McCoy.

“Bones, you need to stop acting like there’re problems where there’re no problems at all,” said Jane. “I’m fine. You’re fine. You just told me the crew’s fine-”

“Actually, I’m worried about Spock,” said McCoy. This caught Jane’s attention. “He hasn’t been eating lately, and he keeps locking himself in his room.”

“That could just be one of his contemplated phases,” said Jane.

But her counterpart thought otherwise. _OK, major deja vu there. Jane, you might wanna check on him. I can’t say much, but…_

Jane went to ask her counterpart why she couldn’t say much before they heard a yell – specifically, _Spock’s_ yell, coming from his quarters. Jane immediately took off at a run, McCoy behind her, and when they reached Spock’s room the doctor was able to override the lock. Upon bursting inside their eyes widened.

Many items in the room had been smashed. And Spock was standing in the centre of it all, half naked and breathing heavily, while muttering something under his breath.

“Plak…tow…”

_Uh oh. Jane, be careful…_

Jane ignored her counterpart’s warning and cautiously walked over to him. “Spock… what’s going on? Are you ill?”

Spock didn’t even look at her. “Jane, please…leave me be. For your own sake, leave me be.”

But Jane shook her head, refusing to listen. She could see that he was in pain, and laid a hand upon his shoulder. “I’m not leaving you here to suffer. What’s happening to you?”

Suddenly he growled, threw himself away from her and smashed a table in two. “Leave! Before I hurt you! Please!”

“Spock!” McCoy strode over to him, taking out a needle – from where, Jane had no idea – before injecting him. Spock swayed and collapsed to the floor, out cold.

By this point, several other members of the crew were outside the door, staring inside with wide eyes. But Jane ignored their questioning glances; instead she gazed down at Spock, trying to figure out what was wrong with him and coming up with nothing.

_Please, tell me what’s wrong with him…_

_It’s something he has to tell you himself, Jane_.

McCoy sighed as he rose to his feet, after having checked Spock's vitals. “Looks like sickbay’s not gonna be empty, after all.”

Jane shot him a glare and he recoiled back.

\---

“Finally, an empty sickbay,” McCoy muttered to himself, as he looked over Spock’s results. “Finally, a little piece and quiet. Maybe get some research done. Maybe take a nap. Figures the Vulcan would be the one to screw it up.”

“Bones, please shut up for once,” said Jane. “And it serves you right for tempting fate.” Her eyes never left Spock’s still body as he slept upon the bed in sickbay, showing obvious pain.

“How long has he been acting like this?” asked M’Benga.

McCoy shrugged. “I noticed a few days ago. He had a bit of a short temper, and he was getting irritable.”

Jane blinked. “Now that I think about it, he’s been avoiding me; like he didn’t want me to know.”

“I spent some time on Vulcan, and I think I know what it is,” said M’Benga. “But this is something he’ll have to tell you himself. It’s a Vulcan thing; you know how secretive they are with their ways.”

Spock suddenly groaned, and his eyes blinked open.

“Quiet, everybody; sleeping Beauty wakes,” said McCoy.

Jane instantly moved around to the side of his bed, placing a hand upon his. “Spock, why does it seem like one of us is always watching over the other one on their deathbed? How are you feeling?”

“Forgive me, Captain.” Spock attempted to sit up. “I assure you that I am in perfect physical health, as Dr. McCoy can confirm.”

“Yeah, so perfect that we’ve got your feet in restraints,” said McCoy. “Your adrenaline’s off the charts, Spock. And if it keeps increasing at this rate…you’ll be dead by the end of the week.”

Jane’s eyes widened before she turned back to her boyfriend. Something was up, and since neither her counterpart nor M’Benga were going to tell her… “Spock, talk to me. Tell me what’s happening to you. And if you don’t, then I’ll order you to.”

Spock sighed – and Jane noticed instantly. It was a very un-Spock thing for him to do. “There are no words for it in any language other than Vulcan, Captain. It is a…condition…which arises in Vulcan males every seven years once they experience their first. Emotions run amok, with a corresponding increase in hostility. Having not experienced it until now, I simply assumed that, in my case, the fact that I am half-human prevented its onset. I was obviously mistaken. The condition is called Pon Farr.”

“Pon Farr? Sounds like a Vulcan appetizer,” said McCoy.

“That’s enough, Bones.” Jane's eyes never left Spock. “What do we do about it, Spock? What’s the cure?”

“The cure, Captain,” he replied, “is for the affected Vulcan male to return home, although this is not strictly necessary. They would marry on their first time, before engaging in an ancient mating ritual intended to relieve the hormonal imbalance caused by Pon Farr.”

Jane’s eyes widened. “Mating ritual?”

“Indeed.”

“So, what’s the problem?” asked McCoy. “Jane’s here; all you gotta do is get going with her in bed and your problem’s solved.”

“It is not that simple, Doctor,” said Spock. “Given that Vulcan is no longer with us, it is logical that I should return to New Vulcan. My dilemma is that I do not know whether this will be the same.”

“The Vulcan people live on – upon New Vulcan, Spock,” said Jane. “So that’s where we’ll take you.” _And I’m gonna have a long talk with you._

_It can wait. Right now you need to get him to New Vulcan_.

\---

“Coming out of warp in three, two, one.” Sulu brought the _Enterprise_ to a slower pace. “Impulse engines engaged, Captain. Three-quarter power. We’ll be over New Vulcan in exactly seven minutes.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sulu.” Jane rose from her chair. “Establish standard orbit over the colony site.”

“Aye, Captain.”

“Alright, I’ll need a few others to come down with me,” said Jane. “Bones, Uhura, Riley, thanks for volunteering. Spock, you go without saying.” She opened a channel to engineering. “Mr. Scott.”

“Aye, Captain?”

“Put down whatever tool you’re messing around with and get up here,” she told him. “You have the conn while I’m down on the planet.”

“ _Begging your pardon, Cap’n, but I thought that given my…history with Starfleet bigwigs, they insisted that I remain lower down the chain of command than is customary for a Chief Engineer?_ ”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Do you want the conn or not, Scotty?”

She heard a tool drop. “ _I’ll be right there, Cap’n! Charlene can manage things here while I’m gone._ ”

Jane turned to walk off the bridge, but Carol came up behind her. “Captain, permission to join the away team? I’d like to discuss some ideas I had with the Vulcan scientists-”

“Granted,” said Jane, upon seeing the light of hope in McCoy’s eyes. “Just don’t be late to the shuttle bay.”

\---

“Perhaps I should still be in restraints, Doctor.”

“Believe me, Spock, it’s not easy for me to say this…but I’m trusting you.” Jane could hear the group discussing behind her as she drove the shuttle alongside Riley. “Well, I’m trusting you _and_ the absurdly potent hypo-sprays I’ve got in my pocket. Besides, I didn’t think it was right to have you in handcuffs when you reunite with your people.”

“A concession for which I am most grateful.”

“Don’t get too comfortable back there, guys,” said Jane. “Riley, bring the shuttle down slowly. We don’t want to startle them – if Vulcans can even be startled.”

“Aye, Captain.”

By the time they landed, a group of Vulcans had already gathered. Spock was first out of the shuttle, followed by Jane and the others, but Jane took the lead when they approached the waiting Vulcans.

Sarek and Amanda were in front. “Welcome back to New Vulcan, Captain Kirk,” Sarek greeted, sending her the Vulcan salute.

“Technically I didn’t set foot on the planet,” she said, saluting back. “I only dropped you off after that… Never mind. It’s good to see you again, Sarek. Amanda.”

“And you as well.” Sarek then turned and saluted to Spock. “Spock.”

“Father. Mother.” Spock saluted back. “I am the reason for our return here. Recently I have begun to suffer the effects of an unexpected change in my biochemistry. I feel-”

“You don’t need to say it, Spock. I know what you feel,” came a voice from within the crowd. The crew looked towards a woman with her hood up. “You feel plak tow, the fever. You feel the call.” She pulled back her hood to reveal dark short hair, hazel eyes and a thin, pretty face. “You feel Pon Farr. It pulls you back, my betrothed. Welcome home.”

Jane’s eyes widened as she turned to Spock; recalling the conversation they’d had less than a year ago, Jane didn’t have to guess who this was. “So that’s T’Pring? I thought you said you’d broken off the engagement with her?”

“I did,” said Spock. “And I truly believed that was the end of it. But recent events have shown that it is not.”

“Pon Farr.” Again, Jane didn’t have to guess.

“Yes,” he replied. “I believed I was immune to it, as I said before, given my half-human heritage; another reason why I broke things off with T’Pring. Jane… As you saw in my quarters, Pon Farr can do more than hurt you; it can _kill_ you.”

“Your mother seems to be fine.” She nodded over to Amanda.

“That was different-” Suddenly he doubled over in pain, crying out.

Jane was by his side in an instant. “Spock!” She knelt with him as he collapsed to the ground. She was mad at him for not telling her about this, and for wanting to return to T’Pring after telling her a year ago that he did not care for the Vulcan woman. But seeing him in agonizing pain, Jane couldn’t find it in herself to yell at him. “Spock…”

“It is plak tow, the blood fever,” T’Pring explained. “Our union must be consummated soon.” She tried to approach.

But Jane turned and shot her a glare. “ _Stay away from him!_ ”

T’Pring backed away, eyes wide, but not because Jane had snapped at her. “You…you speak our language?”

Jane blinked in surprise, before turning to the other members of her crew, who were just as wide eyed as T’Pring was. “Did I?” When Uhura nodded, Jane’s eyes widened like theirs. “I…never could before… Not that well, at least. How…?”

_It seems that you have already formed a small bond with Spock. It would be the only explanation._

_And you don’t have a reason for why that is?_

“We can’t just let him suffer,” said McCoy. “Let me give him-”

He attempted to step forwards with a needle, but Sarek prevented him. “No, Doctor. Your medicine cannot help him now. Spock, you must stay here with us. Your ordeal will be over soon.”

“And then what?” asked Jane, helping Spock to his feet. “He stays behind with _her_? We’re not just gonna leave him here! _I’m_ not gonna leave him here!” She turned to Amanda. “Can you help talk sense into him? Spock’s obviously not thinking straight enough to make these decisions for himself.”

“Usually I would be able to talk to him, but I can’t,” Amanda admitted. “This is Pon Farr.”

“Captain, you have done all you can,” said Sarek. “You have brought him home – as close to home as exists for us now.”

“But he’s also got a home on the _Enterprise_ , Sarek,” said Jane. “What about the older Spock?”

_Hello?_

_You’re not exactly helping right now_.

“Spock the elder left the colony on a journey beyond the system, the nature of which he would not disclose,” Sarek explained. “He left a year ago, after Khan was taken into custody.”

_Any ideas where he’s gone?_

_None._

_Fine. He probably wouldn’t have told me anything, anyway_. “I can’t just abandon my First Officer; he’s more to me, you know that. And it’s like I said; he’s not in the right frame of mind to be making decisions.”

“What Spock chooses for himself is not for us to say,” said Sarek. “All we can do is ease his pain. Please, Captain. Return to your ship.”

Amanda laid a hand upon Jane's shoulder. “And let us help our son.”

_Jane…I can’t believe I’m disagreeing with Sarek and Amanda, but don’t leave him. You can’t_.

Jane looked around at the Vulcans surrounding her. _I don’t have a choice. Besides, when I get back to the ship, you can show me what happened last time_.

\---

“Alright. Talk.”

The elder Jane was sat upon the Captain’s chair, and after she let out a sigh, the memory around them changed to some form of ancient structure. To Jane’s surprise, they were on Vulcan.

“In my time-line, Spock started acting strange a lot later,” she explained. “I don’t know why your Spock is being affected early. He explained what Pon Farr was; he told us that we had to take him to Vulcan so he could marry T’Pring.”

“And you didn’t mind this?” asked Jane.

“This was…before we were together.” She gestured to the scene; Spock was standing by a gong, and an elderly Vulcan woman was sat nearby. T’Pring was stood among a group of other Vulcans, alongside a young Vulcan man. Jane also noticed the memory self of her counterpart present, along with McCoy. “This was the wedding. But things…happened that we didn’t expect.”

T’Pring stepped forwards and held up a hand towards the gong, before the Vulcan male stepped forwards with a weapon. A weapon was given to Spock, too.

“T’Pring called the right for challenge,” the elder Jane explained. “That man is Stonn; the one Spock told you about. He must have been killed in your time if your T’Pring isn’t with him. The right to challenge means another Vulcan male can fight for the right to the female’s hand.”

“Fight?” Jane sent her counterpart a confused look. “I thought Vulcans were pacifists?”

“They _are_ , usually,” said the elder Jane. “Pon Farr causes them to temporarily go back to their savage routes; when men fought for their mates.”

Jane stored the information away as she watched the fight; Spock was no match for Stonn, and easily fell. “Wait, so if Spock can’t marry T’Pring…”

“Another woman had to be found,” explained the elder Jane. “But we were delayed in reaching Vulcan, meaning that Spock would soon die. By the time an unattached Vulcan woman could be found, it would be too late. So I…did what I had to do.”

The memory-Jane stepped forwards. “Wait.” When the Vulcans turned to look at her, she took in a deep breath. “I cannot let my First Officer die. So…I offer myself to him as a bondmate.”

In the memory, Spock’s eyes widened and he immediately spoke up. “No! She cannot! She’s not one of us; she doesn’t understand…”

“I understand that unless I do this, you’ll die, Spock,” the memory-Jane explained. “You said so yourself; returning to Vulcan is not strictly necessary. What if we get held up in Deep Space next time, and you can’t return to whomever you bond with? Logically it would be ideal to bond with someone you _know_ will be with you, so you would not have to return. Your father married a human, so it’s allowed.”

“They were prepared for this. And Captain, there is no divorce. You will never be able to be with anyone else-”

“I don’t care. I won’t let you die, Spock.”

Jane didn’t know how to react. “So that’s how you two married…”

“And how Ama was conceived as well,” said the elder Jane.

“But…” Jane looked at the memory, and then back at her counterpart. “You would be attached to him forever. That didn’t matter?”

“I knew I would never find someone else,” said the elder Jane. “Part of me had always loved Spock; he was more than a friend to me, and I knew that I had to save him. Since then I have never regretted my decision; our bond grew into so much more after we were married.”

“This is why you wanted me to stay down there,” Jane realized.

She nodded. “He is not thinking straight right now, and he’s always been torn between two worlds; Human and Vulcan.”

Jane sighed before she nodded. “You’re right; Spock’s always been torn between being human and being Vulcan. Spock ran away from Vulcan because he felt the pull of his humanity. And I suppose it was only a matter of time before he got pulled back.” She looked down.

Suddenly Jane was shaken awake; McCoy was standing by the bed, and while Jane wanted to snap at him for waking her, his worried expression made her reconsider. “Bones, what is it?”

“We’ve been hailed by the Vulcan colony,” said McCoy. “Jane…it’s Spock.” 


	26. Mind Dagger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things escalate...

Jane had never run so fast in her life, and reached the bridge in record time. She saw T’Pring’s image on the screen. “What is it?” she demanded.

“ _Something terrible has happened,_ ” said T’Pring. “ _Not long after you departed, Sarek took Spock to the Ret Dator, the room of preparation. There he would be made ready for the ceremony to mark our union._ ”

“Can we skip over the details please, T’Pring?” Jane requested. Hearing about how Spock would be marrying another woman was just too much, especially now that something had obviously happened to him…

T’Pring nodded. “ _But the blood fever was too great. It was consuming him._ ” She held up the ripped, blue shirt which belonged to Spock. “ _We found Sarek and the others alive, but unconscious. Spock was gone. All that was left was this shredded shirt. Amanda has isolated herself with Sarek; she is torn with human emotion._ ”

Jane bit her lip, trying to fight the emotions from consuming her. _Think like Spock…think like Spock…_ “He must be somewhere in the colony. We’ll beam down to help you find him. I’ll send a medical team to help anyone who's injured.”

“ _Your assistance is most welcome, but Spock is no longer in the colony,_ ” said T’Pring. “ _My fear is that he has left us to join the Sasaud._ ”

“Sasaud?” Jane realized that she knew what it meant. “Vanished?”

T’Pring nodded again. “ _They are a group of Vulcans who live apart from the rest, in the deep wilderness of the new world. After the destruction of our home planet, not all of us could adapt to the loss in a logical fashion. Many were consumed by grief in a surge of emotion even stronger than that experienced during Pon Farr. They regressed to a state like that of Vulcans from before the teachings of Surak; before the Great Awakening. They are lost to us now. They are Sasaud._ ”

“No… No one is ever lost,” said Jane, determination in her voice. “We’ll find Spock, and we’ll bring him back.”

\---

“Four to beam down.” Jane was standing, dressed in a special suit, on the transporter pad with Sulu, Lemli and Leslie, phasers ready. She hoped they wouldn’t have to use them – especially on Spock.

Lt. Kyle nodded. “Aye, Captain. We’ve picked up biological readings on the scanners that must be the missing Vulcans. I’ll beam you down within two kilometres of their location.”

“Thanks, Mr. Kyle.” Jane sighed. _Hold on, Spock…I’m coming…_

They arrived overlooking what appeared to be a river of lava. “You gotta be kidding me,” sighed Lemli. “He's somewhere out _there_?”

“It’s not as bad out here compared to the inside of a volcano, but…” Jane shrugged. “The sooner we find him, the better. Phasers on maximum stun, everybody; while I hate to say this…if we can’t talk Spock out of it, we’ll have to be ready for the alternative.”

They made their way down the cliff and walked towards the life signals, crossing pools of lava. “How can he survive out here without a suit?” asked Sulu.

“Vulcan physiology’s tougher than ours, Sulu,” said Jane. “Combine that with what Pon Farr’s doing to his body, and-”

Jane was cut off when something suddenly flew at them, hitting Leslie. He cried out, and Lemli was able to catch his friend before he fell. “What the hell?!” yelled Lemli.

“Leslie, are you alright?” asked Jane.

“Fine,” he said, as Lemli helped him upright. “The suit took the brunt. Better watch out for more rocks blasting us.”

But Sulu crouched to pick the object up; it was some form of boomerang. “This is no rock, Captain.” His tricorder beeped. “And now I’ve got multiple contacts closing in all around us!”

“Phasers ready!” Jane held hers up, and the others did the same. “Spock, can you hear me? Is that you?”

Another boomerang was thrown, and they ducked to avoid it. “I can’t see where they’re coming from!” yelled Sulu.

“There!” Jane saw a figure and fired.

“I see them!” said Leslie, who also fired. “They’re using the lava as a cover!”

Jane’s helmet was suddenly hit by a boomerang, knocking her over and sending her into a state of dizziness; Sulu and Lemli knelt to help her while Leslie stood guard. His eyes suddenly widened. “Captain… It’s Spock…”

“Spock…” Jane tried to sit up, but the dizziness sent her down again. “Leslie, try talking to him…”

“Mr. Spock,” Leslie began, lowering his phaser, “we’re here to take you back.”

“Back…” Spock’s voice sounded distant.

“Let us help you,” Leslie continued. “Listen. This isn’t you.”

“Help…me…”

“Yes, that’s right.” Leslie looked back at Jane, and she nodded for him to continue. “Let us take you…home…” His eyes widened.

They were suddenly surrounded by other Vulcans, male and female, some half naked while others wore no clothes at all. Jane was finally able to stand up, but her eyes widened when she saw Spock and the other Vulcans. Their eyes were glowing red. She remained still, not sure what else to do. Spock’s eyes were still on Leslie…and he was looking more and more hostile by the second. “Scotty, are you seeing this?” she asked, opening her comm.

“ _Aye, Cap’n!_ ” he replied. “ _It looks like you’ve found Mr. Spock! Well done!_ ”

Jane rolled her eyes; did he not see that Spock’s eyes were red and behind him were a group of angry Vulcans? “Not done yet, Scotty! I need you to lock onto our signals! As soon as we get Spock under control you need to beam us outta here!”

“ _Happy to do so, Cap’n, but you’ll need to get clear of that lava field first! The magnetics are already mucking with your visual feed! I’d hate for the same thing to happen to your bodies mid-beaming!_ ”

“Mr. Scott, it’s a risk we might have to take!” said Jane. She then turned to her crew. “Everybody, keep phasers on stun! Don’t fire unless-” She was cut off when a Vulcan ran at her, and she barely had time to stun him.

A female Vulcan leapt upon Lemli, and Leslie stunned her in the back, before the former then did the same to a Vulcan who was coming up behind the latter. “Captain!” cried the former.

“Oh, wonderful.” They were all around them – and what was more, Jane had lost sight of Spock. “Maximum stun fire!” She shot at another one, as Sulu did the same by her side. Jane was even able to get one over her shoulder.

“ _Cap’n, your helmet feeds have failed, but I’ve still got audio!_ ” Scotty’s voice came through. “ _What’s happening down there?_ ”

“Standby, Scotty! Get ready to beam us out on my word!” Jane hit another Vulcan…to reveal Spock standing behind him, staring at her. _Hey, other me…you don’t suppose what you did to Spock in the first memory with the Medusan could work?_

_This isn’t the same type of insanity…but do what you have to do_.

Jane cautiously approached Spock, staying in his vision. “Spock…if you can hear me…you need to tell them to stop. We’re here to help you. Do you understand?” She stood before him; he was staring down at her, his red eyes intimidating…but Jane stared straight into them without fear. “Spock, it’s me. It’s Jane. Do you remember me? I’m your Captain, your friend…and much more. I know you’re in there somewhere, Spock.”

He stared at her…and then for a moment, Jane swore that there was a light of recognition in his eyes. “Captain…Jane…”

“Yes, it’s me; it’s Jane.” She nodded. “Please, Spock-”

Suddenly she was grabbed from behind by another Vulcan, causing her to drop her phaser. She struggled in the Vulcan’s grip, crying out…

And then Spock leapt at them both, but grabbed the Vulcan and threw him off her. He then grabbed Jane and placed her behind him, growling and snarling at the other Vulcans attacking. All of them – even the ones who had been attacking Sulu, Lemli and Leslie – turned their attentions on him.

“Mine…”

Jane blinked in surprise at what he’d said, but was distracted by Lemli before she could comment. “Captain, maximum stun just isn’t working on them!”

“ _Cap’n, I don’t have eyes on the ground, so I can’t properly assess the situation,_ ” said Scotty. “ _But if what Mr. Lemli said is correct…can I please get you the hell outta there now, risk be damned?_ ”

Jane gripped Spock’s arm as he remained firmly in place, shielding her from the other Vulcans. “Do it, Scotty. Five to beam out; make sure you take the Vulcan I’m holding.”

“ _Mr. Spock? But is he still-?_ ”

“Do it now, Scotty!”

They beamed up and found themselves in the transporter room again. McCoy was there to greet them, along with a few other officers…and the moment Spock saw them all, he let out a roar and leapt off the transporter pad, ready to attack them.

“Dammit!” Jane leapt in front of him, gripping his face in her hands – like her counterpart had done all that time ago. “Spock!”

At first he tried to fight her, but then his red eyes locked on hers and his ragged breaths slowed. He calmed in time for McCoy to inject him from behind, knocking him out. Jane was able to catch him before gently lowering him to the floor. “Dammit, Jane!” McCoy cursed. “Why did you bring him on board?!”

“I couldn’t just leave him down there!” Jane yelled. “And did you see the look on his face when he saw me? He may still be under the influence of…whatever, but he _recognizes_ me! He did down there; he stood between me and the other Vulcans to _protect_ me from them.”

“She’s right,” said Sulu. “But Captain, he obviously doesn’t recognize anyone else. It’s probably safer to put him in the brig, at least for now.”

While Jane didn’t like it, she had to agree. She looked down at Spock’s motionless body, thinking about the word he’d uttered down on the surface. _I know you’re still in there, Spock. Just hold on_.

\---

“ _They are lost to us. Forever._ ”

Jane sighed in frustration, trying not to snap at T’Pring. “Did you not here what I just said? Spock recognized me; he’s still in there somewhere. And I’m not giving up on him.”

“ _You do not understand, Captain,_ ” said T’Pring. “ _He has fallen into despair like the others; it is their natural state now._ ”

“Maybe for the others, but Dr. M’Benga was able to scan them while we fought,” said Jane. “And while the others are consumed with what appears to be grief, Spock is still in the throes of Pon Farr; he’s running out of time. You may have given upon on him – on all of them – but I haven’t. Kirk out.” After cutting off the transmission she turned to where McCoy and Scotty were stood. “We have to take a closer look at the Vulcans affected. Mr. Scott, you and Lt. Kyle need to beam them into the brig, but not into Spock’s cell.”

“ _All_ of them?!”

“About twenty-five of them, yeah.”

“They won’t fit!”

“They’ll fit.”

“You want me to beam _twenty-five angry Vulcans_ aboard this ship?!” he yelled. “In case you’ve forgotten, Cap’n, I saw what _one angry Vulcan_ can do the _first_ time I ever beamed aboard! And now you want to beam _twenty-five_ of them up here…and _study_ them?!”

Jane screwed her eyes shut, trying to push back the memory of Spock throwing her around the bridge…pinning her against the helm…his parents trying to get his attention…her fear that even _they_ wouldn’t be able to stop him from killing her… “Bones and M’Benga are going to study them, not me.”

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Don't let my _joy_ at the prospect overwhelm you.”

“I don’t have time for your sarcasm, Bones! Scotty-”

“Alright! Alright!” He left the bridge.

Jane sighed. _The things I do for love…_

_You’ve experienced it. You know it’s worth it_.

Scotty contacted her five minutes later. “All angry Vulcans present and accounted for, Cap’n!”

“In a different cell from Spock’s?”

“They’re on opposite ends of the room, Cap’n.”

“Good.”

Chekov turned. “Permission to speak freely, Keptin?”

“Always. Go ahead, Chekov.”

“Vith respect, Keptin… Dr. Marcus, Yeoman Landon, Lt. Kyle and I have been monitoring ze situation, and ve zink ve might have an idea zat could help. Dr. M’Benga agrees vith us. It is unorthodox, but…”

Jane smiled weakly. “Unorthodox has never been a problem with me, Chekov. What do you have in mind?”

“Vell, Keptin, ve zink… Not forever, but just for a moment, in a manner of speaking… Ve zink ve can bring Wulcan back.”

\---

DSS Room.

“Explain it to me again, kid,” said McCoy. “I’m a doctor, not a xeno-geophysicist.”

“Certainly, Dr. McCoy!” Chekov was sat with Carol, Landon and Kyle. Jane, McCoy, M'Benga and Scotty were also present. “Ze idea ve four propose is based on cutting-edge research into beam theory.”

“Every planet we beam to or from has its own unique signature,” explained Kyle, “based on its own atmospherics, its own electro-magnetic fields and its ambient radiation levels.”

Landon continued, “So basically, every time we beam to or from a planet, the transporter compensates for the difference in all of these factors between the planet’s surface and the inside of the _Enterprise_ , so we arrive in the same condition we left.”

“Usually this compensation is automatic,” said Carol, “but it _is_ possible to manipulate the transporter field logarithms to replicate the conditions on any given planet.”

Jane turned to Scotty. “Mr. Scott, you’ve had your own…adventures…when it comes to transporters. What do you think?”

“Thanks for not mentioning the beagle or the Tribbles specifically, Cap’n,” said Scotty. “Yes, everything they say is true. It is possible to “fool” the transporter to think its beaming to or from somewhere it isn’t.”

“What we propose is to fool the transporter into thinking we are in orbit around Vulcan,” said Landon.

“Every organism has a complex, inextricable link to its home environment,” M’Benga explained. “Vulcan was deeply connected to its people, and while some have been able to cope with this, others have not, like T’Pring said. I believe that the current condition of the twenty-five Vulcans is because they literally can’t go home again.”

“Tricking their bodies into thinking they’re beaming to Vulcan?” McCoy questioned. “It’s no crazier than say…bringing someone back to life using the augmented blood of a homicidal maniac.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes, I’ll help’, Bones,” said Jane. She turned to the group of four and Scotty. “Put your heads together and prep the transporters. Consult with either McCoy or M’Benga if necessary.”

“But what about Spock?” asked Scotty.

Jane sighed. “Let me deal with Spock.” She left the room, walking straight down to the brig.

“He’s over there,” said Lemli, from where he and Leslie were sat at their desks. He nodded over to Khan’s old cell where Spock was sat on the floor, alone.

Jane nodded her thanks before slowly approaching him. Spock heard her footsteps and looked up, his eyes still red. He at first looked ready to attack, but his rage vanished when he saw it was her, and Jane smiled. _He still recognizes me_.

She sat down in front of him, bringing both legs around to her side. “I think I know when you fell in love with me. At least, my counterpart said it was when _her_ Spock fell for her, but you know; the more things change, the more things stay the same, right?”

He didn’t speak. He just continued to watch her.

Jane sighed. “It was when I beat you at chess. At first you didn’t want to play me, and I thought it was because of the _Kobayashi Maru_ incident. But then you said it was because you felt I wouldn’t be able to manage against you. It wasn’t an offence. You were genuinely considering my feelings.”

He continued to stare, but Jane could tell he was listening – like he was recalling the memory she was describing.

“You’d played chess since you were very young,” she continued. “You became the Grand Master at the Academy; you’d won every game you played, at least there. So it was a surprise to you when I beat you. It was a surprise for me, as well. I lasted for longer than anyone.” She smiled.

He still listened.

“I watched your reaction; you looked shocked and confused, like you couldn’t believe it. And while at the time I was happy to have won…” She sighed again. “I thought later that I may have offended you. But then I found this.”

She brought out the white chess piece, still attached to the necklace. The first time they’d slept together, Spock had noticed it while they’d been getting undressed. Jane had told him to take it off her, since it would’ve gotten in the way. In the morning she had then offered to give it back, but he’d said to keep it; it belonged with her, he’d said.

She smiled at the memory. “It was on my bedside table when I went to bed after my shift. There was no note, but I knew it was from you. I recognized the piece. You never asked for it back, so I never gave it back to you. I keep it close to my heart…because I now know this represents _yours_.”

She pressed it close to her chest, and saw that he was watching the piece – either that, or he was looking where her heart was.

“I know you’re suffering. But I know that you can still hear me,” she said. A tear fell from her eye and ran down her cheek. Spock’s eyes watched it. “Please, Spock…come back to me. I can help you with this. I understand you’re afraid that you’ll hurt me, but I know you, Spock; you can _never_ hurt me. And even if you do so by accident, I’ll know it as that. I love you, Spock. And I know you love me, too. Please. Give me a sign to show me you’re still in there.”

He stared at her, as he’d been doing throughout the entire speech…but then he slowly placed his hand on the glass, in the form of the Vulcan salute. Jane smiled as she did the same, sending him the memories of the life they could have, like she had done one year ago – and then she sent him the memories of all they had done during the past year they’d spent together.

She thought it would work; that the strong memories – the strong emotions – would override whatever was controlling his mind, and snap him out of his savage state. But then his eyes left hers and rage overtook; he leapt to his feet, growling.

Jane turned and saw that McCoy and Uhura had entered the room, and both were staring cautiously at Spock. “It’s OK.” She rose to her feet and stood in Spock’s vision. “It’s OK. I’m here.”

His face calmed when their eyes locked, but Jane could tell that he was still weary; he kept one eye on McCoy and Uhura.

“He’s not gonna smash through there, is he?” asked the former.

“No. The glass is too strong, even for the others combined.” Jane reluctantly turned to them. “How are things?”

“We’re almost done with the transporters,” said McCoy. “Just a few kinks need to be fixed, and then we’re good to go. The reason we’re here is because the colony contacted us.”

“Was it Sarek?” asked Jane. “Amanda? Asking about Spock?”

Uhura shook her head. “It was T’Pring again. I explained what we were going to do, and she said to beam the Vulcans down to the colony; they’ll be waiting.” The woman then sighed. “She also seems to still think that Spock is like the others; that it’s not Pon Farr which is affecting him.”

“Let me guess; she wants us to beam him down to her so they can marry?” Uhura nodded again. “Well, tell her that’s not gonna happen. Not only is Spock still being affected by Pon Farr, I think I know why he ran away from the colony – why he ran away from _her_.”

The other two were about to ask why…until they heard a crack, and all of them – Jane, McCoy, Uhura, Lemli and Leslie – looked over at the two cells holding the angry twenty-five Vulcans. A crack had been made in the glass of the first, and soon after a crack was made in the second. The Vulcans were working together to get themselves out.

“You were saying about the glass being too strong?” said McCoy, just as the glass of both cells smashed and the Vulcans broke free. 


	27. Time to Amok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane takes care of Spock's problem...

Jane instantly turned to her four crewmen. “All of you get yourselves outta here! I’ll put the brig in lockdown so they can’t escape!” But the four just stared at her, and hearing the Vulcans beginning to move towards them, Jane yelled, “That’s an order!”

Lemli walked over to the door and pressed a button, engaging lockdown. All the doors locked themselves, with the five of them inside.

“With all due respect, Captain,” said Lemli, “we’re not leaving you here alone. We’re staying.”

“I’ve already brought you back to life once, Jane,” said McCoy. “I don’t wanna do it again.”

“Twice, don’t you mean?”

“Hey, you didn’t die when that flower hit you.”

Leslie took out five phasers from his desk and handed them out, just as the other Vulcans began their attack. The officers fought back, but like the last time, even the highest stun setting had no effect on them.

“Uhura, there’s a comm link behind us; contact Chekov and see if they’re ready yet,” said Jane.

The woman nodded before hurrying behind them. She switched on the comm. “Brig to transporter room. This is Uhura. Come in!”

“ _Aye, lass. What is it?_ ” It was Scotty.

“The twenty-five Vulcans broke out of their cells,” Uhura explained. “We’ve engaged lockdown and are currently fighting them off. Please tell us you’re done!”

“ _See? I told the Cap’n those cells wouldn’t hold them! We’re nearly done; I’m gonna have to ask you to hold on!_ ”

Jane, who’d heard, rolled her eyes. “You better put your asses into gear, otherwise there won’t be anything left of us to save!”

“ _You canne change the laws of beam theory, Cap’n!_ ”

“Captain, I think we may have another angry Vulcan behind us.”

Jane turned to Uhura…and saw who she was referring to. Spock was trying to get out; he was running at the glass, crashing against it in desperation. And when he paused long enough to look at Jane, she saw the utter panic in his eyes and knew he was trying to help them – help _her_.

“Lemli, Leslie; can either of you let him out?”

Both looked at her in shock as they continued to fire at the other Vulcans. “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Captain?” asked Lemli. “We’ve already got twenty-five other angry Vulcans to deal with; do you really want to add another?”

“You saw what Spock did down on New Vulcan; he still recognizes me, and he’ll be on our side,” Jane explained. “This is an order, Lemli; let him-”

It happened so fast. She was grabbed by two Vulcans, both male, who then began to pull her between them. Seconds later she heard the smash of glass, and suddenly the two Vulcans were thrown away from her before she herself was pulled back and out of reach. Only when she was pressed against a bare back did she realize that Spock had smashed the glass of his cell, and had placed himself between her and the other Vulcans like he had done before.

“Mine…” His voice was like a growl; it was said with an anger Jane had never heard before, not even two years before when Spock had tossed her around the bridge like a rag doll.

Jane turned to the other four officers, who were watching in shock. “You guys might wanna get behind him.”

They did so, cautiously, but Spock didn’t pay any attention to them; his angry gaze was fixed firmly upon the other Vulcans, who has stopped their attack and were watching him. It was a stand-off, neither side willing to make the first move.

Until one Vulcan attempted to leap at the group – a younger one. Spock hit the younger Vulcan away, but the move started off the attack and soon the others were joining in. But Spock dealt with them all with ease; two were thrown back at the same time with only one arm, another was tossed into a wall, and four who were running at him in a line were sent backwards all at once. And what was more, Spock simply wasn’t tiring.

But neither were the other Vulcans.

Leslie lifted his phaser, but Jane just placed a hand on his arm and lowered it, raising an eyebrow at him; it was clear that Spock didn’t need their help.

The room’s comm beeped. “ _Cap’n! You still there?_ ”

“We are, Scotty,” she replied. “Long story short, Spock’s giving us quite a show up here. Are you ready?”

“ _Ready when you are, Cap’n!_ ”

“Then beam them down to the colony – all of the Vulcans except for Spock. He stays.”

“ _Alright, then. Twenty-five to beam down._ ”

The twenty-five Vulcans began to disappear, and Spock dropped his defensive position when he figured out that they were leaving and would no longer cause a threat. He then turned back to Jane, and while his eyes were still red his face no longer showed anger or aggression. It showed…desire. Passion. Love.

The other four officers moved away, and Lemli unlocked all the doors. “What now, Captain?”

“Uhura, hail the colony and ask if the other Vulcans are back to normal,” said Jane. The woman nodded before she hurried up to the bridge.

“What about Spock?” asked McCoy.

Jane didn’t answer; her gaze was on Spock, who was moving towards her with the passion and desire growing in his eyes. She didn’t move when he was right there before her. She didn’t flinch away when he placed his hands on her shoulders, bringing her closer to him. And she certainly didn’t protest when he brought his head down to her level and began to nuzzle her neck affectionately. “Mine…”

“Like I said before: I’ll take care of Spock,” said Jane. “Bones, go to the bridge and help Uhura out, because I know T’Pring is gonna start demanding where Spock is. Tell her that Spock is going to be solving his Pon Farr problem up here with me.” She tried not to let out a moan of delight when Spock began to nibble behind her ear. “And ask whether it’s OK for a Vulcan to mate before marrying. If it’s not, then tell them ‘tough’.”

McCoy sighed, but he nodded before leaving. Jane knew he would do it; he’d always wanted an excuse to give the Vulcans a telling off.

“Captain…” Lemli spoke up. “I know you’re enjoying yourself there, but…don’t you think it’s better to do this in your – or Mr. Spock’s – quarters?”

Jane knew he was right – not matter how much she wanted Spock to just take her right then and there. She slowly pulled away, and when Spock began to protest she sent him a reassuring look, before reaching for the comm. “Attention, this is the Captain speaking. I want all hallways cleared for the time being, as I will be leading Mr. Spock to my quarters. As you know he is in an unpredictable state, and the last thing we need is a casualty. I’ll let you all know when it’s clear. Kirk out.” Her eyes never left Spock’s throughout the announcement, and she kept them on him as she began to gently lead him towards the door.

Leslie opened it for her, and Jane led Spock out before they made their way towards her quarters. Thankfully the crew had heeded her word, and they met no one as they walked along the hallways slowly. She knew she couldn’t make him walk any faster, else she excite him and he attempts to take her out in the open, something which she knew couldn’t happen.

_So, you’re really gonna do this?_

_You did. By the way, is it really OK to sleep with him before the marriage?_

_I honestly don’t know. I can’t see why not, considering the state he’s in. And you mentioned you know the reason why he ran away from the colony?_

_It’s the same reason he hasn’t attacked me. At least, I think it is. It shouldn’t be hard for you to figure out._

_No, it’s not. I got it_.

They reached her quarters, and Jane led Spock inside. She then locked her door before activating the comm. “Attention, this is the Captain again. You’re now free to resume your duties. Thank you.” She cut off, before setting it on silent; she didn’t want to be disturbed.

Jane turned back to Spock and saw that the desire in his eyes had grown. There was no stopping this now…not that she wanted it to.

\---

Jane had never been so tired in her life, and even when she was on the bridge of the _Enterprise_ in her mind, she was stumbling from the aching in her muscles. But it was a good ache. Her counterpart smiled before offering up the Captain’s chair, which Jane took with gratitude.

It was a few minutes before she finally spoke. “Wow. That was… Wow.”

“Different from usual, isn’t it?” said her counterpart.

Jane nodded in agreement. She had slept with Spock many times already, and while there was passion in his movements, he had always been gentle. He was aware that he was stronger than any human, and could easily hurt her if he was not careful. Jane hadn’t minded; it was beautiful how he caressed her so tenderly, taking his time with his touches as their emotions joined with one another.

But this time… There was a good reason her muscles ached. He had been rough, but not in a way which was painful or would cause worry. It had been a good kind of rough; the kind which some girls desired in an act of sex. Jane found that she had actually enjoyed it, despite feeling like she could sleep for days.

“I’ll have to make sure you wake up when he does,” said the elder Jane. “Otherwise he may panic and think you’re dead.”

“Think I’m dead?” Jane questioned. “Why? Where did you get that idea from…?” But then she realized… “No way. He didn’t actually _think_ that, did he?”

“I think he was still in an emotional state when he woke up,” the elder Jane explained. “You saw how desperate he was to keep me out of this; he didn’t want to hurt me, and when I didn’t wake up… We were still down on Vulcan. From what I was told he came running out the room, saying he’d killed me, saying he would never live with himself… McCoy walked in to check on me and beamed me up to the _Enterprise_ , where I woke up. And then Spock beamed up…”

The memory around them changed, and Jane quickly rose from the chair to save herself from falling backwards. They were in sickbay, and McCoy and Chapel were talking. Then Spock came in to announce that he was turning himself in, and that they needed to head to the nearest Starbase immediately. McCoy tried to interrupt, but Spock wouldn’t listen.

“I predict a prank coming up,” said Jane with a smile.

The elder Jane smiled as well. “Watch.”

Spock continued to talk…while the memory-Jane came up behind him, grinning, and waited for the right moment before she said, “What, you’re not gonna run this by me first?”

Jane almost burst out laughing when Spock turned, wide eyed. “Captain?!” The memory-Jane’s smile widened and she began to pass, but suddenly Spock grabbed her and spun her around in the air, the goofiest grin on his face which just caused the watching Jane to _lose_ it. “ _Jane!_ ”

It was only after he’d put her down did he realize that he’d acted emotionally in front of not just the memory-Jane, but McCoy and Chapel as well, and his stoic expression returned. The memory-Jane was just grinning, while McCoy immediately began to tease him for it.

“I teased him about that for days,” said the elder Jane, smiling. “Bones teased him for _weeks_.”

Jane was able to calm herself down, wiping away her tears of laughter. “I’m actually tempted now to stay asleep just to see his reaction when I _do_ wake up.”

“Now that’s just cruel,” her counterpart tried to tell her, but she was still smiling.

Jane shrugged in agreement before a thought occurred. “So, um…since your first time resulted in, you know… Will I be…?”

“Pregnant? I honestly don’t know,” replied her counterpart. “We already know that the universe is trying to play things out like it did in my reality, which leaves two possibilities; it could happen either now, on your first time, or in the next seven years, which would be closer to the time when my Ama was born.” Then she began to look around, as if hearing something which Jane could not – which turned out to be the case. “Jane, you need to wake up. He’s calling you.”

“Can’t I wait five more minutes? And how can you hear it while I can’t?”

“That would be five more minutes of him panicking,” said the elder Jane. “And you can’t hear him because you’re in a deep sleep; but you need to wake up to let him know you’re OK. Wake up!” She then grabbed Jane by the shoulders and began to shake her. “Wake up! Wake up!”

Jane screwed her eyes shut, willing herself to wake up as easily as she was able to go to sleep…and when she opened her eyes, she was lying on the bed in her quarters.

The room was dark, but not dark enough to prevent her from seeing. She groaned from her still aching muscles, stretching herself out, before turning to see Spock lying next to her. He was watching her, his now normal eyes widened slightly. But she could also see the genuine relief in them.

“Spock…” She reached out a hand and gently rested it upon his cheek. “You’re you again.”

“And you are…” His hand laid itself upon her outstretched one. “…here. I am sorry if you are hurt in any way. I did not wish for you to be part of this…”

“…Because you love me. I understand.” She smiled. “And while my muscles ache, it’s a good ache. I think I actually enjoyed that.” When he sent her a puzzled look, she gave a little laugh. “A girl enjoys a little rough sex every now and again.” She then asked, “Do you remember anything?”

He looked thoughtful. “It is not very clear, but I recall some images. Did I try to attack the Doctor?”

“Yeah, you did. He’s still not happy about that.”

“I shall apologize later,” he said. “While everything else is a blur, my most recurring memory is seeing you; always in front of me, always watching me. I did not hurt you, did I?”

She shook her head. “No, Spock. In fact, despite being in such a maddened state, you _recognized_ me. I was the _only_ person you recognized. And you did more than not hurt me; you actually _protected_ me from the other Vulcans. You were even ready to attack members of our _crew_ because you thought they were a threat to me.” He looked as shocked as a Vulcan could manage to be, and Jane stroked his cheek with her thumb. “That proves it; you could never hurt me, even when you were consumed by Pon Farr – which explains why you ran off in the first place.”

“It does?”

She sat up, swinging her legs around in order to stand. “I’ll explain when we get down to the colony. Your parents are gonna want to see you safe, and we need to explain the change of plans. T’Pring _won’t_ be happy.”

Spock flinched, sitting up as well. “I am sorry, Jane. I truly do not care for T’Pring, but Pon Farr was beginning to consume my conscious; I was only thinking of you.”

“I know that now,” she said, as she went to pick up her dress off the floor…only to find it ripped. “Err… I’ll find another one. And I better get some clothes for you, too.” She walked over to her draws and opened one up. “Luckily I decided to keep a spare uniform in here for you just in case something like this happened. Sorry I didn’t tell you; I wanted to surprise you with my logic.”

Spock raised that fascinating eyebrow of his. “You decided to keep a spare uniform in your quarters for me, logically anticipating that an occurrence such as this one may well happen?” Then he smiled. “I love you.”

“I know.”

\---

When Jane and Spock beamed down to the planet, the first person to greet them was Amanda. With a happy cry of, “Spock!” she hurried over to the pair, before throwing her arms around her son and pulling him in close. Spock hesitated for a moment before hugging her back. “I’m so glad you’re OK.”

“I am fine now, Mother,” said Spock. “You must thank Jane for that.”

“Yes.” She turned to Jane, sending her a smile. “My new daughter-in-law?”

“It’s not official – yet.” Jane allowed Amanda to hug her, too.

Sarek made his way over at a slower pace, but Jane could tell from her experience with Spock that the elder Vulcan was just as happy to see his son safe as Amanda was. Behind him were a group of Vulcans following; Jane could recognize the Vulcan High Council among them – and T’Pring. _Great_.

“Spock. You are safe.” He turned to Jane. “Thank you, Captain, and not just for saving Spock. The other twenty-five Vulcans have recovered from their condition, as well.”

“You’ll have to thank my crew for that,” said Jane. “They were the ones who came up with the idea and put it into action. And I must apologize now if my actions on the ship went against Vulcan customs; I know a Vulcan must marry before mating-”

Sarek interrupted, “While that is our custom, there have been occurrences in which the mating took place before the marriage, due to the male party being too far gone into Pon Farr and therefore unable to take part in the ceremony.”

“But why did Spock run away?” It was T’Pring who had spoken, and she stepped forwards away from the other Vulcans. “And why did he not attack you, Captain?”

Jane opened her mouth to answer – to give the explanation she had realized – but was once again interrupted by Sarek. “I may be able to answer that,” he explained. “Captain, you and my son have been together romantically for over a year, and the both of you had already formed a bond in the time before then – the fact that you knew how to speak Vulcan proves this. Spock mentioned to me that the reason he chose to come here and marry T’Pring was because he did not want to hurt you; despite this, however, I conclude that this small bond between you both caused Spock to still long for you – to still long to mate with _you_. It was your presence which was preventing Pon Farr from taking control, for he was consumed right after you left. He ran away from us because he was looking for you, and when he found you, that small part of him which was still left prevented him from attacking you – and since he recognized you as his bondmate, his Vulcan side led him to attack anyone who could potentially, in his eyes, become a threat to you.”

Spock’s eyebrow rose as he made the same logical conclusions himself, just as Jane nodded. “I figured that out, too. I’m getting pretty good at this logical business. So, does that mean he and I are going to…?”

“We are ready when you are.” Sarek nodded.

Jane then noticed T’Pring step back into the crowd of Vulcans, her head hung low. Like all Vulcans, her expression was hidden – but like with Sarek, Jane had known Spock long enough to be able to tell what a Vulcan was feeling, and she saw instantly that T’Pring looked upset. The earlier anger she had felt vanished, and she cautiously approached her. T’Pring looked up, puzzled.

“Spock told me you had bonded with another. Did he die?” Jane asked. T’Pring nodded wordlessly. “You thought that being with Spock would help you move on.”

“I do not want to become a Sasaud,” she said. “Now I see that I was being illogical; Spock could not replace Stonn, and I would still grieve.”

“Don’t be hard on yourself; none of you should be,” said Jane. “You lost your planet; your home, your people, your entire way of life. The experience is going to make you act in unpredictable ways, and that’s OK. Trust me; I know what it’s like to have your entire world take such a tragic turn.”

“Did you lose what we lost?” asked T’Pring.

“No. But I was one of the nine survivors on Tarsus IV.” When T’Pring’s eyes widened slightly, Jane gave her a weak but reassuring smile. “It was a long time ago; I came to terms with it. Someday you will too; all of you. And if you need help, I can have my crew transmit the instructions for how they were able to “trick” the transporter.”

A Vulcan elder stepped forward; Jane recognized her as one of the High Council members they had saved from Vulcan, a woman named T’Pau.  Looking more closely, she realized this was the woman who had proceeded over the wedding of her counterparts.

She looked Jane in the eye, regarding her for a moment, before turning to look over at Spock. “You have made an ideal choice, Spock.”

Jane knew that, had a human said that to her, it would have been strange choice of words with an uncertain meaning. But Jane had learnt from Spock that the term ‘ideal’ was a Vulcan compliment – and to have such a compliment from a member of the High Council was an honour.

_T’Pau is stern, but she’s wise and reasonable_ , said her counterpart. _You’ll grow to like her, as I did_.

Spock walked over to join Jane, and she could tell he was pleased by the elder’s words. “Thank you, T’Pau.”

“If you are ready, I will proceed over the ceremony,” T’Pau then offered.

“Is it OK if we can hold it off at least a few hours?” asked Jane. “It's just…my mother will kill me if she finds out I got married and didn’t invite her.”

And so, seven hours later – with Jane’s family, the crew and the planet’s inhabitants in attendance, and with both T’Pau and Admiral Barnett proceeding over the ceremony – Jane and Spock were officially unified as husband and wife. 


	28. The Alternative Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Enterprise is contacted by Spock Prime...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter references the Original Series episode 'The City on the Edge of Forever' and the film 'The Search For Spock'.

“May I have a word?”

Jane and Spock sent each other puzzled glances at T’Pau’s question. “With both of us?” asked the former.

T’Pau nodded, and the group moved away from the wedding reception before she spoke again. “During the joining of minds I sensed something I did not expect in yours, Captain. A katra.”

“We are aware of the katra,” said Spock.

“It is one I have never sensed,” said T’Pau. “The katra is human; I have never known a human to be able to transfer their katra before. And this human was-”

“Like me?” Jane nodded. “That’s because she _is_ me, from the other reality. We have no idea how she got into my head, but she’s been there since after I became Captain.”

“Humans usually do not survive this long with a katra,” said T’Pau. “Because the katra is human and she is you, that must be the reason you are still alive.”

_This was how we saved Spock from death_ , her counterpart explained. _Before he died, he transferred his katra to Bones. We were able to get his body back, and upon arriving on Vulcan, the katra was transferred back into Spock’s body._

_So what am I supposed to do with you?_

_I don’t know. Ask her_.

“So what do I do with the katra?” asked Jane.

“We are still building the new Katric Ark here,” T’Pau replied. “When it is done, you may release her into it; an honour no human has had before – and an honour that shall be granted to her.”

_If that’s what you want?_

The elder Jane was silent at first, before she said, _Yes. I feel that I have intruded into your life for far too long. It is time for you to carry on without me._

_You couldn’t have decided to depart sooner?_ But inside, Jane felt a tinge of sadness at the thought of her counterpart not being there.

\---

“Was it worse than the dressing down she gave your father?”

“According to him, yes,” said Spock. He and Jane were lying in bed the next morning, the latter curled up in the former’s arms. Spock had just finished telling the story of the time when his mother had attempted to sort out the bullying Spock had been subdued to. “In fact, he described it as the only time when the High Council showed any form of emotion.”

“Flat out terror?” Jane smirked. “Well, that proves it. If you anger a mother, you must have a death wish. I wonder if I’ll be that scary when I become a mother.” At Spock’s arched eyebrow, she added, “We had a kid in the other universe, so we’re bound to have one here.”

_Did you find out about that, by the way?_

_We checked. That Pon Farr didn’t result in Ama._

_Then it’ll be the next one_.

The room’s comm beeped, and while Jane contemplated ignoring it at first, Spock’s eyebrow only rose higher and she sighed. “I don’t get how one little eyebrow can say so much.” She pressed the button to answer. “Kirk, here.”

“ _Captain._ ” It was Uhura. “ _We’ve received a transmission._ ”

“From who?”

“ _The other Spock._ ”

Jane and Spock exchanged glances. “We’ll be right there. Kirk out.” They both climbed out the bed, and after changing back into their uniforms they hurried to the bridge.

“Lt. Uhura, was the transmission live?” asked Spock.

“I don’t think so,” she replied. “It looked recorded. Shall I play it?”

Jane sat in her chair before nodding. “On screen, broadcast ship-wide.”

Uhura nodded, and seconds later the face of the elder Spock appeared on the screen. In her mind, Jane heard her counterpart gasp, and she couldn’t blame her; this was the first time the elder Jane had seen her Spock outside of a memory. _He looks so…old._

_He’s over 150 years old, of course he looks it. Although judging by how strong my bond with Spock is, his ageing could also be a result of losing you_. Jane then focussed her attention on the screen, and she felt her counterpart doing the same.

“ _Captain Kirk_ ,” the elder Spock began, “ _I need your help. When my counterpart first contacted me after you foiled the Vulcan plot to destroy Romulus, he stated that you somehow knew of it; he thought I had informed you, which was incorrect. I did not think much of it until he contacted me again, asking for information about a man named Khan Noonien Singh. He mentioned off-hand that your usual method of gathering information was not enough. I thought maybe he was referring to the computer, but later thoughts made me realize that in the way he had phrased it, he was talking about a someone – someone from my reality. So I journeyed to a planet you yet do not have a name for and found something you must see – something which must be fixed, and only you can help me. The planet holds the Guardian of Forever; if I am correct, you will be told where it is. I will explain fully when you arrive._ ”

The transmission ended, and Jane was left wondering what the elder Spock could be talking about. She knew, from what he’d said, that he’d found out about her counterpart in her head, or at least suspected something. But then why did they need to go to this other planet?

_I know of the Guardian of Forever_ , she heard her counterpart say. _I can take you there_.

“Captain?” Spock didn't need to ask anymore.

Jane looked up at him, nodded, and then turned to Uhura. “Open up a channel to Sarek’s home below.”

It was where her family were staying; Admiral Barnett had already left for Earth. Barnett had taken over from Admiral Marcus a year before, and had attended the wedding because they’d needed a Starfleet officer in order to make the marriage official on Earth. Jane was surprised they’d been able to get Starfleet’s top Admiral to do it, but she knew she shouldn’t be really; Barnett had been very supportive of her relationship with Spock from the get go, and had even told them both to come to him immediately if anyone bothered them.

“May I ask why, Captain?” Spock asked.

Jane replied, “I need to explain that we’ll apparently be taking a honeymoon, after all.”

“Captain, I doubt this trip to the undiscovered planet will be relaxing or romantic-”

“It was a joke, Spock.”

\---

It took several days to reach the planet, even at maximum warp. The elder Jane had been able to provide them with the quickest route there, and had also explained her first meeting with the entity the elder Spock had called the ‘Guardian of Forever’.

“I think she’s making it up,” said McCoy. “I mean for starters, why would anyone believe that a doughnut shaped rock could transport anyone to any time and place? But to ask the bigger question; why on Earth would I inject myself with cordrazine?”

“She said it was an accident,” said Jane. They were all gathered on the bridge.

He scoffed. “Even then-”

“We don’t have time for this, Bones,” Jane interrupted. “What we need to think about it why the other Spock called us here.”

“Your counterpart said this Guardian was able to see other realities; it is not just the Guardian of our time, but the times of other realities and other places,” said Spock. “The fact that my counterpart of all people has called us there seems logical.”

“Fair point, but there has to be a specific reason,” said Jane. “He mentioned that he knows about my counterpart, or at least suspects something; does that have anything to do with it?”

_I suppose I better prepare to explain myself_ , said her counterpart.

“Captain, we’ve dropped out of warp,” Sulu reported. “We’re orbiting the planet now.”

Jane rose from her chair. “Alright, I need a landing party. Spock, Bones, Uhura, with me. Scotty, you have the conn.”

“Aye, Cap’n.”

\---

When the group beamed down to the planet’s surface, they found themselves stood among ancient ruins which stretched as far as the eye could see. Jane looked around before spotting a large rock a short distance away, fitting the image her counterpart had shown her. There was a figure stood before it, who Jane guessed was the elder Spock.

The four made their way over, and suggesting he had heard them approach, the elder Spock turned to greet them. “How much time has passed?”

“Since when?” Jane asked.

“Since I was contacted about Khan.”

Jane blinked in surprise. “…That was a year ago,” she replied. “You didn’t know?”

“Time here passes differently.” Spock's voice was distant. He then raised an eyebrow after noticing something very different about the Captain and her First Officer – the rings on their fingers. “So you are finally married. I had hoped it would happen sooner than it did in my time.”

Jane looked down at her ring, smiling. “It’s only just happened. You see, there was this incident with Pon Farr, although you probably would have guessed that… But what am I rambling on about? Why did you call us here?”

The elder Spock approached her slowly before reaching out a hand. “Our minds, one and together.”

_He knows. Oh God, what do I tell him?_

_What you told me; that you were only thinking of him_. Jane nodded before allowing the other Spock to place his hand on her face, creating a connection. She could feel the elder Spock searching through her mind…before he froze.

He had found what he was looking for. _Jane._

_Spock. I’m-_

_Do not apologize_.

Jane was tempted to comment on the similarities between the counterparts, but didn’t want to ruin the moment. The elder Spock then broke the connection, and for the first time since he had first seen her on the cold Delta Vega, Jane saw a warm light in his eyes – one of hope. “She didn’t want me to tell you; she said it would be too much for you.”

“I understand,” he said. “And I am pleased to know that her katra is safe within you. Otherwise there would not have been a chance.”

“A chance?” Jane sent him a puzzled look.

Without a word, Spock led the four over to a rectangular stone a few steps away – but when they reached it, the four realized that while it looked like stone from the side, the top had a glass cover. And inside was a familiar, elderly figure.

Uhura gasped. McCoy cursed under his breath. Spock’s stoic expression dropped. And Jane only froze, while in her head she felt her counterpart go into shock, as well. For lying under the glass, eyes closed, was the body of the elder Jane.

“OK… How, when and why?” Jane sent the elder Spock a questioning look.

“Those were the questions I asked the Guardian,” the elder Spock replied, nodding over to the large round rock he had been facing before. “And he answered accordingly. The how: he knew this other reality would be created, and he knew that I would be trapped here alone. So when my Jane died, he brought her body here through a portal and kept her in status. And when her body was secure, he placed her katra within you until the time was right.”

Jane admitted that the explanation made sense. “So, what about the when?”

“He brought her into this reality after Nero’s defeat,” he replied.

“Ah.” She nodded. “I can remember when; before I fell asleep and met her, I was feeling tired all day,” Jane recalled. “So now for the why; why would he want to help you and her? I mean, you’re a great guy and all and she’s awesome-”

“My Jane and I have saved the galaxy – and even the universe – so many times, that he wanted to repay us,” said the elder Spock. “To allow us to be together once more, in this new reality, and to witness ourselves coming together all over again.”

Jane sent Spock a smile. “You mentioned there was a chance to save her,” said the latter. “The only way I can think of is the _Fal-Tor-Pan_ ritual, but it is dangerous for both the recovering deceased person and the keeper of the katra. It is for this reason that it is rarely performed – and that is on Vulcans, let alone humans.”

“It has been done successfully before, and in this circumstance, I am certain that it will be successful again,” said his counterpart.

_Remember what I told you? That was how we brought Spock back to life,_ said the elder Jane. _He was revived on Vulcan_.

“The other me just said it was how they brought you back to life,” said Jane. “But she also said the ritual was performed on Vulcan. And since Vulcan’s gone-”

“It is not a necessity for the ritual to take place on Vulcan,” explained the elder Spock. “New Vulcan will suffice. I know I am asking much from you – from both of you.”

But Jane shook her head. “No. You’re not. You want to be with her, and I understand that. She’s me, you’re him; you’re both of us. Because of your Jane, I was able to see what was in front of me the whole time. She helped me find my true love – and I want to do everything I can to help her reunite with hers.”

\---

Jane felt a little intimidated when their shuttle landed on New Vulcan and saw a crowd waiting for them, but Spock’s presence by her side calmed her and they climbed out first.

They approached the family first, and Winona asked, “Can we have an explanation now?”

Her daughter shrugged. “We went to this planet called ‘Gateway’ – only that was its name in the other reality and it hasn’t been named here yet – where we met this stone called the Guardian of Forever, and it turned out he had saved the body of my counterpart from the other reality. The elder Spock had found her, and he wanted to know if I had her spirit slash soul in my head, which I did, and I’ve had it in my head for over two years now.” Jane paused to think. “It says something about my life when that’s not the weirdest explanation I’ve ever given.”

The senior officers had come down with them – McCoy, Uhura, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu and Carol – and after they climbed out of the shuttle, the elder Spock followed with the elder Jane cradled in his arms. Everyone fell silent as he approached T’Pau, and Jane joined him at his side.

“I wish for you to perform _Fal-Tor-Pan_ ,” he requested. “We know it has rarely been done, and we know the risks. But we have agreed to try.”

T’Pau only nodded. “Very well.” Two stone tables were pushed over, and the elder Spock laid the elder Jane onto one. Jane took the silent cue to lay down on the other one. She closed her eyes as T’Pau stood between them. The woman said something in Vulcan before she laid a hand upon Jane’s face. Jane suspected she had done the same to her counterpart’s body.

_I’m going to miss you_ , she heard her counterpart say.

_Talking in my head, anyway_. They shared a final moment of amusement.

The sensation was unusual. It was like her mind was being searched and cleaned, separated from the katra within her before the katra began to be pulled from her. Jane understood why it was dangerous; part of her mind wanted to go with the katra, while another part was going into shock at the sudden invasion. It felt different than a mind-meld; this was far more intense, and while Jane was unsure, she swore she could feel the energy of every other Vulcan around her; Sarek, the two Spocks, T’Pring… It was like they were helping with the process; focussing to make sure she made it out alive.

And then, just like that, it was over.

Jane’s eyes blinked open, and found that she had lost a lot of energy. She needed help to stand; Spock, McCoy and Uhura came to her aid, and helped her off the table.

“Did it work?” she asked.

“We are uncertain,” replied Spock. He nodded over to the other table, where the other Jane still lay motionless. The other Spock had approached her, hope in his eyes.

Jane felt through her consciousness, and where the katra had been before was now empty. The elder Jane was gone from her mind. _Shouldn’t that mean she’s alive? Then again, she may not have survived the process…_ She hoped, for the elder Spock’s sake, that her counterpart still lived.

Then the woman’s eyes opened with a sharp intake of breath, and Jane felt relief flood through her which was both her own and Spock’s.

“Ugh…I haven’t felt like this since that hangover on Starbase 9,” the elder Jane muttered, trying to sit up.

The elder Spock laid a hand upon her shoulder. “You should not overexert yourself.”

The woman froze before she looked up, her eyes meeting with the elder Spock’s for the first time. While she had seen him before through Jane’s eyes, seeing him like this – in her own body, able to reach out and touch him – was different.

She slowly rose from the table, and while she stumbled a little upon getting to her feet, she was determined to stand and leant against the stone for support. Her eyes never left the elder Spock’s. And then, cautiously – as if she was afraid it wasn’t real, and he would vanish at any moment – she reached out and cupped his cheek. Spock reached out as well, but his fingers only gently brushed her face, like he was afraid of moving too fast; as if she were breakable and would crumble under his touch.

Jane realized that the two were communicating through their bond, for at the same time they leaned in and their foreheads touched. Both their eyes closed as they bathed in the feeling of each other, which they hadn’t felt for so long; for the other Jane, a few years since she had gone through a time skip. But for the elder Spock… It had been decades. In that moment it didn’t matter how many, because either way, it had been far too long.

No one wanted to interrupt the pair, and Jane wondered whether they would have been able to. Not even the Vulcans watching spoke out when the pair’s lips crashed together in a fiery passion Jane thought no elder couple could achieve.

And through the universe, she felt that some form of balance – a decree written in the stars themselves – had been restored. 


	29. Edge of Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten years later...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This final chapter is told from Jane Prime’s POV. There’s also a theory in here about how living in other worlds affects one’s soul; this theory was taken from the 'His Dark Materials' trilogy.

“So how did you meet _your_ Spock?”

The elder Jane smiled at her younger counterpart, and briefly wondered why the young Captain hadn’t asked her before; she had been alive in the alternate reality for ten years, and had seen her counterpart many times since then. But when she thought about it, the topic had never really come up. They had always discussed what was going on in their lives, and the elder Jane had also spent her time resolving the more life-threatening issues which would crop up in the future.

The Endangered Species program specifically had been time long-spent, for it had taken the elder Jane and the elder Spock a while to convince Starfleet that a large probe which spoke to Humpback Whales was coming to destroy them all. The Federation had eventually taken action, and along with the whales, a lot of species which were now extinct had been reintroduced via time travel.

Now the elder Jane sat with her younger counterpart on New Vulcan. The younger counterparts had always wanted their own daughter to spend time with the people who were both her parents and not at the same time.

The elder Jane watched the two-year-old Amanda Georgiana Kirk as she played with Spock’s old 3D puzzles, while being assisted by a nine-year-old David McCoy. The boy had been born a year after the Pon Farr incident, after his parents had gotten together, and standing over the two children was the boy’s elder half-sister, Joanna. McCoy had gained custody over her during Carol’s pregnancy.

_It’s nice that things are working out happier here_ , the elder Jane thought. _Despite Saavik’s non-existence_. Vulcan had been destroyed before the Romulans had been able to kidnap some of its inhabitants for the Hellguard experiment.

When the elder Jane realized that her younger counterpart was still waiting for an answer, she replied, “It was after the _Kelvin_ had been destroyed and our…parents had died. I was still only fifteen, and he was a cadet at the Academy. I had been getting fed up with people coming over to me and saying things like ‘sorry for your loss’. I mean, I know they were only trying to be polite, but I was still trying to cope.”

“And judging by Spock’s behaviour – at least before – he didn’t do this?” asked the young Jane.

The elder Jane nodded. “He wasn't the first Vulcan I’d seen in my life, but he was the first Vulcan to join Starfleet; I’d heard of him. When he approached, part of me feared he was going to attempt some form of apology like everyone else. But he didn’t – at least, not at first.”

“What did he say?”

“He congratulated me for my actions,” said the elder Jane. “It took me off guard at first; no one at that point had commended me for what I had done on the _Kelvin_. The Admirals did later, but it was soaked with apologies and sympathy. But here was Spock, recognizing what I had done; that I had not let my emotions get the better of me, especially for one my age. He said that he would be honoured to serve under my command any day. Then afterwards he tried to apologize for the loss I’d experienced, but since he outright said that he wasn’t used to saying such ‘human’ things, I didn’t mind; it made me laugh.”

“And thus, a friendship was born.” The younger Jane smiled.

“Actually, like you, I didn’t see him much during my time at the Academy,” the elder Jane admitted. “I never saw him at all during the junior classes; the first time I saw him again was when he walked into my first Interspecies Protocol lecture. It was on that day when I discovered he was half-human; I would never have guessed if he hadn’t said it outright. He only taught a few of my classes after that, and I only saw him a handful of times in between. Our first full conversation was before third year graduation, when he came to inform me that I had been assigned to the _Enterprise_.”

“So when did the fabled chess game take place?”

The elder Jane smiled as she brought out the necklace chess piece from under her dress. “After Pike had made me his new First Officer; it had been a stressful mission, and Spock offered me a game to help relieve some of that stress. I don’t think he expected me to beat him, for it was the first time I had seen him show any form of emotion. Like you, I thought I had unintentionally insulted him somehow, so I made a plan to apologize to him later. That is, until I found this on my bedside table.”

The younger counterpart took out her own piece, still attached to the necklace. “You never gave it back to him?”

“I tried, but he wouldn’t take it; he said it belonged to me.” The elder Jane smiled. “It was only later when he told me that it represented his heart.”

“For someone who’s usually so unemotional, he sure is a hopeless romantic when his human shows,” said the younger with a smile.

The elder’s smile widened. “And that’s why we love him.”

The younger counterparts stayed for a few more days before they had to leave for another mission, and both the elder counterparts were partly relieved – because they were exhausted, and not because having the children around had worn them out. They looked it and felt it, and had both looked and felt this way for the past two years.

Ten years could seem like forever, but when it was all they had, ten years was far too short.

It had been described to the elder Spock when he had visited the Guardian of Forever; living in another reality affected one’s soul, and after roughly a decade, it would eventually cause that person to die. And since the elder Spock and the elder Jane could not return to their own reality (for some bizarre reason which the Guardian couldn’t explain) they opted to live out the short time they had left together.

The elder Jane had to hand it to her husband. This was his twelfth year, and he had been holding on just for her so she wouldn’t feel alone.

They had decided not to inform their younger counterparts, for knowing themselves, they knew the younger pair would attempt to do everything they could to save them. But there was nothing they could do; the elder pair did not want the youngers to try and experience the pain of failure.

“Did you transfer the katras?”

“I did.” The elder Spock nodded; he had secretly placed both katras – his and hers, joined together – into the younger Spock, so both could be released into the new Katric Ark. “The letter details everything.”

The elder Jane nodded in return before she allowed herself to collapse onto their bed. Her husband joined her at her side, and the two pulled each other close. They could feel their very beings weakening, preparing for their inevitable passing…

As if the universe itself sensed their close to passing, it began to rain – a rare occurrence on New Vulcan.

“We should have picked a more pleasant day to die,” the elder Spock commented.

His wife laughed – even though it hurt. “A little fall of rain can hardly hurt us now.”

The elder Spock smiled, recalling the only musical he had ever liked – because it was the only one his Jane had taken him to. “I am here.”

“That’s all I need to know. And you will keep me safe… And you will keep me close…” She smiled too as she pressed her cheek against his chest.

“A mind-meld,” the elder Spock then suggested.

“But…our energy is fading…”

“Then we shall die with our minds one and together.”

She didn’t need to nod or say anything in agreement; he knew she wanted the same. So they pressed their foreheads together, and the elder Spock placed his hand upon the side of her face before both their eyes closed.

They found themselves lying in a meadow, and the pair recognized it as the one on Omicron Ceti III; the planet which grew the flowers that allowed people to feel completely at peace with themselves. And with the pain out of reach, that was what the couple felt; at peace.

“To think we could have lived like this had we stayed…” the elder Jane wondered aloud. Looking down, she realized that she was young again, and dressed in her old uniform.

Her husband was the same. “Now we shall. I do not know what death is like – I cannot remember – but I hope this is it.”

“So do I.”

They stayed together, curled up to each other, as a growing light consumed them. And while it felt like the end for them, they knew it was not for their younger counterparts – or for the countless other versions of themselves across the realities.

For if there was one thing they had learnt, it was no matter what happened to them or who they became, their souls would always be connected. 


End file.
